Greed (31)
Greed
"And here we are. Port Redstone. I'm glad to be out of the jungle. As much as I dislike the heat and ash in the air, it beats spiders any day."
"Geez, for the captain, you sure are a wimp Grif." Shimmer taunted in the usual kid's tone.
"You try having one thirty times your size wrap you in webs to eat you."
"You're just joking about that.... right?" She gulped.
"Nope. Grif here almost got made into a snack, and Trix with him. He was afraid of spiders before, but now..... I don't think either of them will ever be the same." Gilda explained. Shimmer started shaking again.
"Well, let's look around."
Nadene and Maria stuck with the tribe, as they were kind of like idols to them, more so due to the fact that she was the same species, while Gilda, Trixie, Etch, Growl, and I went to go look around elsewhere, searching for anything of interest. The cats were hauling all of our goods. They would look around for a ship of some kind, big enough to carry all of us across the ocean, while we would look around the.... remnant.... of the town for anything of interest. Finding a building that was some kind of bar, I motioned for us to go in.
"You're not gonna...." Gilda began.
"Get drunk? Hell no, I learned my lesson the last time. Taverns are the best places to pick up info. We're going in to find out anything we can. We're not looking for something specific, just trying to catch up on recent events."
Walking in, we saw a number of rough looking characters. Some griffins and D-dogs, various ponies, some cats, crazy goat-men-things, no, not satyrs, the other way around, with the goat half on the top, some kind of lizard thing, like a kobold maybe, and a plethora of other things. I went to a poster board, where I found a newspaper article about 'The Hero of Wethoof', who slew over thirty adolescent hydras with his bare claws after the explosion failed to get all of them. It showed the alpha dog with his spear, one of his claws on fire, Daring by his side, and the biggest, stupidest grin plastered on his face.
"Atta boy Echo, go get em."
Continuing to look around, I spotted wanted posters. A fairly large number of them matching some of the characters in this very bar, three of which stood out. Ours.
"Wanted, Griffin Pirates, total bounty, 3000 bits. Gilda the griffin-Alive, 800 bits, Trixie the unicorn-Alive, 500 bits, Griffin the griffin-Dead or Alive, 1700 bits. Last known location, Wethoof. Growing in number, extremely dangerous, non lethal assault resulting in permanent injury, destruction of official property, insult of royalty? Bahahaha, trolling successful! Endangerment of civilian population? What the hell, I didn't do that last one! That bastard Frosty made shit up! Oh well. The crown has deemed them a growing danger to the safety and well being of Equestrians everywhere, the leader is the most important as if captured, the group would fall into disarray, oh Celly, you flatter me! But why would your son come to get my crew? I know, it's a joke. Last seen heading west from Wethoof, expected destination, Tailton Springs. Yeah, too bad it's not there anymore. Am I forgetting something? I feel like I am."
"Uh, Grif, you just read your wanted poster out loud to a bunch of criminals and bounty hunters." Gilda poked me in the side.
"Oh, yes, that, no, I'm sure I'm forgetting something else...... something important."
"I think she means we better make ourselves scarce." Trixie deadpanned. I turned around to see a very large number of tough individuals of varying species all standing up, weapons drawn. They were smiling through their scars and knocked out teeth.
"Oh please, you'd all be dead before you touched me. Sit down and go back to your drinks." A few did, sensing that I was way out of their league, but a very large number remained. The lizard-kobold thingy approached.
"I am Jacky the Ripper, my bounty is six thousand bits, Wanted dead for murder on thirty counts. What makes you think someone with a mere 1700 would be a match?" He practically spat. Our eyes met, neither one backing down. Sure he was taller than me, and he was pretty muscular, but he was also piss drunk. Unless he knows drunken boxing, he's just gonna get himself killed.
"Because I'm not an idiot like you are. I lay low after my crimes so I don't get a bounty, moron." Various 'ooooooohs' and even a 'oh no he didn't' came from the crowd.
"Then how'd you get one? Maybe you're not as good as you say ya are....."
"Hey, does any one else hear that ringing sound?" During the moment of distraction, only lasting a second, I had already clubbed him in the side of the head with Hades.
"Nope, it's just him." The crowd laughed. They thought it was funny! The snake man hissed as he held his head.
"You are going to pay for that...." I snapped my claws, Trixie brought out the contained explosion ball and slammed it into his stomach a couple times, making him go to his knees. He looked up to find my glowing sword in his mouth.
"Wanted dead, so, they took the 'or alive' off your poster? Well then, I guess I'll just be doing Celly and Lulu a favour won't I?" Before he could ponder what I meant by that, I had given him a haircut. He was half a head shorter now. His body slumped to the ground, spurting a little bit of blood every now and then.
"No skill at all. Doesn't he know to investigate a target first? His bounty was higher, but all his murders were of the innocent and defenseless, and you were all shitting yourselves because of a number. Who here's a bounty hunter? I'll sell you his head for a thousand bits, that's all it's worth to me, since I can't turn it in." At this point, a VERY large number of the other characters took their seats again, leaving a minotaur in a kilt standing.
"You, you're a bounty hunter?"
"In me spare time. I use it to pay for the things I need fer smithin." He spoke with a Scottish accent. The kilt, duh.
"A smith eh? Well, none of my business. Actually, something more important than money, information. Do you know where I can find a ship? I'm looking for transport for 43 to the Dominion."
"Aye, jus follow me, and bring Mr. 6000 with ya."
Following the minotaur, he brought us to a kind of concrete bunker. It was built into the mountain and had only one entrance, steel door with a sliding concrete wall in the ground in front of it.
"Let me guess, when the mountain starts to rumble, you seal it up tight, the lava flows over, and when things calm down, the wall drops into the floor so you can dig yourself out?"
"Yoor pretty smart for a pirate Grif."
"Yeah, kind of have to be unless you want to end up like this guy." I said, holding up the top half of Jacky's head by the tendrils coming out of the back.
"Well, here it is. My love. I spent the better part of the past three decades building this monstrosity. Streamline shape, interlocking mechanism for protecting the deck against attack, it slides up inside the ship. Gem powered drive, like all the best ones, varcalite hull. It's not resistant to magic like arcanite is, but it's much more common, and almost as durable."
"Gem powered drive?"
"I take it yoo don't know about airships then?" We all shook our heads no.
"Well, most airships use steam, but a few of the REAL fancy ones, yoo know, the ones that have the hoity toity prissy pants ponies who don't like steam on their manes, are run by gems. Several types of rare gems, like fire rubies, sky sapphires, earth emeralds, thunder topaz, ocean aquamarines, have inherent power in them. Really small ones get put in stoves and the like, but with a lot of effort, you can grind up other, non magical gems and put em in a solution of three parts s.... well, I'd hate to go into it, but you can grow them and make them bigger. Of course, larger gems can hold a bigger charge. Well, by attaching conduits to take the magic emissions away from the gem and forcing it through machines, you can power things." The apparently genius minotaur explained.
"That sounds, really complicated. I mean, why not just use electricity? You know, generators?"
"What kinds nonsense are you talkin about? Harness lightning? Bah!" I had a private giggle, and learned something. So THAT is how machines work around here. They're like my amulet, except instead of magic words, they move it around through a hose with gemstone fragments in it.
They pick up the magic coming off the gems, carry it to it's destination, then give it off where it's needed, a lot like the way equilibrium and diffusion work in a body. High concentration moves to low concentration to try and balance it. So pretty much, the faster the pumps work, the more it can do, so long as the source gem has enough magic.
"So then, I take it you have a gem powered weapons system as well?" Time to pry.
"What do ya mean? Powering the cannons with gemstones? How would that work? You'd still need to load them manually...."
"Do you have a lens or something?" He passed me a magnifying glass. Time for a little trick I learned from burning ants. I passed the minotaur the head, as he had done his job, then took out a gem lamp. I pulled off a feather and placed it on the ground, then looked at it through the magnifying glass, and pointed the wand at it.
"Lumen."
The lamp lit up, pouring light through the lens, making a very small, weak, and inefficient laser. Should have seen the look on that man bull's face when my feather caught fire.
"Give ya any ideas?"
"Bloody hell, sweet Celestia on a sandwich in Tartarus."
'Wait, what?'
"That's brilliant!"
I took out several more, pointing one at Gilda.
"Don't even fu..." She remembered she had Shimmer asleep in her backpack. "Don't even think about it."
"Fine." I pointed it to an empty corner of the room.
"Ignis." A spout of flame, far greater as we were in a land drenched in fire, sprayed.
"And ventus." Wind.
"If you put lenses up, we can focus light through them to make lasers. Pull the lens out of the way, and you've got a flame thrower. Replace your cannons with gems, and have them automatically charge from the main gem array. Don't need ammo anymore. I learned this trick a while back. We can do anything, from light to wind and water, fire, shields, even invisibility."
I could literally see the gears in his head turning, and the world's largest smile affix itself to his face.
"Now, might I ask what the purpose of such a ship might be? Given it's build, I'd have to say it's a warship...." His smile disappeared.
"Money."
"Money?"
"Yep. I'm looking to make my fortune. I plan on selling this beast to the highest bidder."
"Well now, perhaps we could work out a deal then?"
"Interested?"
"Maybe..... how much were you thinking?"
"Oh, given the time it took to build, the materials, intricacies, craftsmanship....... 10 billion, give or take a few mil."
"Hmm, yeah, that's quite a lot. Well, considering we just gave you what you need for the enhanced weapon system, which is something WE discovered......."
"Alright, 8 billion, considering I can't build said weapon system until I get more gems, which I'll need to buy."
"You're still in the range of 'Princess Celestia and Luna only'."
"I spent twenty five years of my life slaving away on her, and she's definitely worth that much. Take it or leave it."
"Well then, how about a lease?"
"I'm interested."
"I say, we 'borrow' your ship. It still belongs to you, but we get to use it for a time, and we pay you for the time we use it for. After all, it still needs a test drive doesn't it? To put it through it's paces, work out the kinks? Pretty much, we'd be paying you to put it through the wringer for you."
"What's the catch?"
"Well, since we'd be paying for it, we'd be in command, and since you built it, we'd need you to stay on as the engineer. Make sure it doesn't break down, make modifications to it, make sure we don't steal it, we ARE pirates after all. You know how it works, you'd be the one flying the thing. Gilda, go get the cats and bring them here, with the loot."
"I see, so, how long would you be using it for?" He asked.
"Not sure. Depends on how well it works yeah? Better it is, less we'll need it for." He smiled.
"Since it's the best, not long at all."
A little while later, Gilda returned with the rest of the tribe, and we slumped a massive bag full of gold, all our loot, in front of the smith and shipwright. His eyes seemed to gleam as he went over each piece, determining value. A shrewd negotiator. He'll obviously accept this amount, but he's gonna try to push it higher.
"Hmm, this is good, but I'f I'm gonna lend her to ya, I'll need maybe..... thirty thousand bits more."
"Ten thousand.
"Twenty."
"Fifteen."
"Done."
"By the way, it seems we've been rude. You know who I am, who are you?"
"Ya can call me Steelhorn. So, where do you plan on getting the extra fifteen thousand bits?"
"I've got a pretty good idea."
The door of the nameless bar fell off it's hinges as it was kicked down, a very angry griffin being ridden by a unicorn seething malicious intent, faces seemingly obscured by shadows despite it being quite bright out, walked over to the bounty board and pulled all the wanted posters down, looking them over. He threw out some, but kept the ones that matched the faces of those he saw within the building. He smiled wickedly, as did his rider. Those without bounty ran, for they knew what was about to come, while those with stood and prepared to fight.
"Lacero!"
An eagle's screech, a witch's cackle, and a poor bartender, covered in the blood of the wicked, thrown a hundred bits to pay for the cleanup as he watched a dozen and a half of the worst criminals to ever plague Equestria have their heads thrown in a sack, which was then dragged out of the rustic, and now red painted, little tavern behind a pair of laughing pirates with a similar stain.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Do sundials malfunction if you stand near them?
Sincerely, Etch.
Ps, He needed a little help writing this one, that's why it's in my style, Griffin.
"Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen thousand. They're all here. I'll go put my paycheck in the freezer so they keep. I'll turn em in once we reach a law station. Nice doing business with you Griffin, and welcome aboard the Possibility."
"Now for these letters. I know something that might work."
Pointing several 'wands' at the pile of scrolls on the ground, I thought to myself of the correct way to say it.
"Aha! I know. Submitto ad Celestia! (Send to Celestia)" With that, the letters disappeared in a poof, and were on their way.
"Great, now to recharge my sword. I'll be in my room for the next sixteen hours, please don't disturb."
Ooh, that's dark. He also found a way to send letters easily, and a ship.
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Oh wow, I like this chapter.
So, will the "Princesses react to letters" episode 2 come out soon?
It was a good chapter
I don't know how you keep updating chapters so quickly, but keep it up.
sweet Celestia Grif invented magical energy weapons.
cant wait to see the reactions to the letters
512647 I'm sure everyone who reads it is gonna like it
Also, now that they have procured a ship...Rum.
I mean, really, it's kind of obligatory for all pirates everywhere.
512647
Ditto.
Gotta love a Scottish engineer. That airship sounds beast by the way, wouldn't mind one myself.
512647
Tell me, why are you so awesome? How do you generate so many awesome chapters and stories?
Does some really powerful being owe you a favor or something?
i must say, i'm thoroughly impressed with this chapter. here, have a cookie and all my thanks.
A ship with lasers and flamthrowers. This story just got 10X more awesome
You spoil us with these updates, good on you for doing it so quickly.
Needs more albino acid/poison dragon....
Gem powered weapons? Griffins improving warfare in equestria one idea at a time....
All of my yes !!!
Given the Pirates' stated need for a smith, and the appearance of a smith character who will be traveling with them, I have a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Steelhorn is going to be sticking with them after the lease is up.
Also, HMDS Possibility of the Royal Griffin Dominion Navy.
512751 The words! They flow through my veins! I can feel them! I rip through the matrix of letters, words, sentences and paragraphs, bending them to my will!
Now he's positively... Shipping!
I'm horrible...
512839 Messing with royalty!
Like A Griffin
Now that we got a ship, time for some shipping!
he should end up finding a brony that was a smith on earth and trained with shoalin monks that would be badass
510164 No, the pics aren't from deviantart I don't think. Here's a link to his page. Carnelian
Well that got mildly dark near the end.....moreso than usual.
At the rate he's advancing on gem magic, he'll have a full suit of power armor by the end of this.
...... damn it now im imagining the crew singing "you are a pirate".
513038 YAR HAR FIDDLE DEE DEE, BEING A PIRATE IS ALRIGHT TO ME!
Crew... set lasers to stun!
Imma firing mah lazors!
let me guess. steel is going to enjoy their company and stay on as permanant engineer and they keep the skip? ;D
513092 DO WHAT YOU WANT CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE, YOU ARE A PIRATE!
Seriously, am I the only one who can imagine them singing that?
Grif's gona fuck some shit up.
512981
thank you sir
so if he'll do them will you put them in
captain! she caint take it no longer!
513297 I'm pushin as hard as I can captain! If I push her any farther, she'll explode!
wait you said you already had the letter chapter writen will you be posting it today
Please
also great chapter we needed a little darkness have a moustache
One of the best chapters so far!
Everything is starting to come into play quite well!
Yes, yes quite well.
*cue evil smile followed by maniacal laughter*
513116 nope i can see griff doing this oh and YOU ARE A PIRATE
oh soooo close yo the 3 letter chapters
Grifs rubbing off on Trixie quite a bit
Good to see some dark in here, even if they probably deserved every bit of it.
Pirates of the equestrian
513570 i see what you did there
"A little while later, the Gilda returned with the rest of the tribe, and we slumped a massive bag full of gold,"
The Gilda ha minor mistake but funny.
when i read the part where Griffin and Trixie were at the bar i laughed my ass off so hard i almost fell off the balcony of my apartment (and i'm in the 9th floor)
They should have a Raptor class battleship
maby even a Thunderhead
FINALLY! He can send letters now. Cant wait to see how the princesses react.
"and the biggest, stupidest grin plastered on his face."
When I read this I pictured the Dentastix Doggie Dentures commercial.
YAY
Celestias gonna read again
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.
The evil enchantress laughed madly, as two energy orbs appeared out of nowhere and with astounding speed smashed against the closest bandit, snapping his neck with the impact. As it turned out a moments later, he was the luckiest one, as he was spared from seeing what happened later...
The Enchantress mount, a Fearsome Griffin, Screeched with bloodlust and took out his sword. Gripping it strongly, its blade sang Death and Dispair, and the black blade drank the blood of those fool enough to be on its way.
Finished the terrorific waltz, the enchantress picked the leftover remains of their enemies, and left into the dark of the night, to never be seen again on the town....
Whelp, how was that?
Things are coming together, I really am enjoying this story!
512994
Stand back, the Iron griffin has come with his lazors.
Bitchin!