Meet the Medic (56)
Meet The Medic
"I thought I told you to leave!" Geirmund raged, pulling the same lever as before. The boot came down, and I cut it off at the joint.
"We're not done yet."
"Go!" He bucked a button, and I raised my sword to block a number of needles being shot from a wall.
"No!" Trixie tossed a vial of sleeping gas, which he blocked with his wing and flung right back at us. I batted it into the wall, only for him to kick a crank, unlocking it from it's position and letting out a loud whine as it spun. A large, black metal tube lowered from the ceiling, and he took up a position behind it.
"Holy fuck it's a cannon!" I jumped out of the way at the last second, the cannon ball flying through the wall, out of the shop and into the street, barely missing a bystander.
"Hey! We just wanna talk!"
"There is nothing to discuss! I am not joining your crew!"
"That's not what I want to talk about!" He paused, about to pull a lever.
"It's not?" He asked. I slowly lowered my sword, still in a defensive stance however.
"..... Okay, maybe it is, but regardless, we still need you to make Trixie's new hoof! You've got the skill, we've got the bits." He paused for a moment, and put a bronzed metal hoof to his chin, deep in thought.
"No!" He pulled the lever..... and nothing happened.
"Ack, come on." He pulled it again, still nothing happened, and then he bucked it, and a freaking minigun lowered from the ceiling with a crash, then began spinning up.
"Father!" Came the scornful voice of Frauline Furnace.
"Uh oh." He stopped and started stepping backwards, the deadly weapon stopped spinning, and he looked very much afraid of the extremely angry pegasus that had burst through the door, or rather, would have if it wasn't already cut down.
"I go through the effort of bringing you customers, and you kick them out, and then fire a cannon at them? Look at the hole in ze wall! You almost took Freebird's head off!"
"He was never ze brightest boy...."
"This is serious faja! You know they said that one more incident and they'd shut the shop down! Are you trying to bring ze guards? And THAT!" She pointed at the minigun.
"You know you should not have that in ze first place! If they find you with something like that, you'll go to jail!" She scowled.
"But Frauline...."
"No but's faja, I am disappointed in you." She stomped upstairs and slammed the door to her room. Trixie and I just stood there, wondering what happened.
"Dafuq?"
"Ayeyeye. Frauline...." He pulled another lever, and all the things that had lowered down folded back up into their proper spots.
"I suppose I haven't been the best host...... ahhhh, alright, go to ze living room, I'll be down in a minute with some tea...."
Trixie and I looked around confused.
"Ack, it's ze second on ze left."
Geirmund and Furnace came in the room about a half hour later, she looked quite upset, a little angry, a little crying, and he looked absolutely terrible. We had heard her yelling at him, although we couldn't quite tell what had been said. We weren't listening.
"So, um, nice weather we're having?" I offered meekly. Having a cannon shot at you, followed by staring down the barrel of a minigun, it's kind of humbling. I'm normally not scared of anything, usually because I'm the scary one. Machines don't feel fear, they just do what they're built to. This guy built a deadly weapon, and probably has many more stored throughout this shop. Perhaps breaking in wasn't the best idea, but, too late now.
"Yes, so long as father isn't brewing up a storm." Frauline retorted. Awkward smiles all around.
"So, ze unicorn needs a new hoof, what type do you want? Can opener? Rivet gun?" The bearded.... alicorn... asked.
"I was thinking more of a heavy beam cannon with built in shield matrix, or perhaps a grenade launcher with a force field. Either way, it's gotta hit hard, protect the user, and then fold back up so she can still walk on it."
Geirmund and Frauline looked at each other, then nearly fell over laughing.
"Bahaha, zat is a good one. No, but seriously. How can I help you?" He turned to look at me, only to find my face was stern.
"You are serious? Listen child, I admit you have good ideas, but zis is not science fiction. It cannot be done!"
"And here I thought you were the finest inventor in Equestria. I know for a FACT it can be done, because I've seen it. Heck, I use something similar on a daily basis, just, not compact. Well, it seems like I wasted my time with you after all. Let's go Trixie. This guy is just a hack after all. No inventor worth their salt EVER says, 'it can't be done'. They find a way to make it happen." And then we got up and began to walk out.
"Wait, who are you to call me a hack? I am ze great Geirmund Freud! If it is possible, than I can do it! You are nothing but a lowly pirate. I invite you into my home, bring you tea, and then you insult me? Who do you think you are?"
"I'm the one who changes the world, Geirmund Fraud. If you want to get over yourself and prove that you aren't what everyone says you are, come to my ship at dusk, and bring your equipment with you."
"What do you have in mind?" His daughter asked.
"A competition."
"He's not going to come......" Gilda stated, looking out at the city we were moored above.
"Damn, I was so sure that would work. Did I read his personality wrong? He seemed like someone who would never back down from a challenge."
"Well, if he doesn't show up, then he really isn't worth our time." Trixie added.
"You're right, no use worrying about it." I let out a sigh.
"And here I was hoping for a bit o competition, ta really test my mettle." Steelhorn huffed.
"If he doesn't come, he's just a dummy." Shimmer added.
"You said it Shim."
"Father, GO!"
"Nein! After the way he broke into my house, ruined my workshop, and insulted me, I hope to never see him again!"
"Father, YOU attacked him, and he's a pirate, what did you expect to happen?"
"The same thing I expect to happen if I put one hoof on his ship. They'll just take off."
"You HAVE wings father. You could just fly away."
"What about Cable?"
"Mother will be FINE. Besides, you ARE the best. You can make a bet, and when you win, we'll have all the bits we need, and we can afford to get her proper medical care. Just go. What do you have to lose?"
"Ack, Frauline, when you're right, you're right. Inventing is all about taking a chance, knowing it might never turn out. If an opportunity were to present itself, and I let it slip by, I really would be a hack, a fraud. Just, if I do not come back, please, take care of her?"
"She's my mother, of course I will."
"Wait, wait! I am here! Let me on!" I heard a voice call from below.
"You can fly, can't cha?"
"Oh, right. Get my things will you?" Freud was hauling a cart full of a great many gears, wires, levers, and other assorted stuff. I motioned to a number of griffins, who flew down and brought his things up, with him constantly berating them to be more careful. They set it down on the deck, and he finally landed, squinting his eyes.
"Too shiny, it's gaudy."
"And who are yoo ta question mah craftsmanship? She's mah life's work ya know, and a heck of a lot better than anything yoo've built." The minotaur bellowed.
"I am ze finest inventor in Equestria, that's who, you buffoon!" They growled at each other.
"Alright, enough of that. Steelhorn, meet Geirmund Freud. He's the one you'll be competing against."
"Zen I take it there will be a wager of sorts?" The mech pony asked.
"Naturally."
"Zen what are ze stakes?"
"If we win, you become the ships doctor. Despite having lost your medical license, you are still a learned surgeon, and if you couldn't tell by the fact that Trixie here lost a hoof, we need one."
"And when I win, not only will you leave me and mein daughter alone, but you will pay me one million bits."
"Hmm, that's a pretty big sum. Steel, can we cover it?"
"Of course we can. Between what we picked up the the dog warren, and what we got from Canterlot, we'd have to sell all of it, and some of the stuff I've crafted as well, but, we could do it."
"Well, alright then. Deal." All three of us shook on it.
"Now for the challenge. Both of you will have three hours each to make a prosthetic limb for Trixie, that is not only fully functional, but contains both a method of attack and defense within. You'll begin building it tomorrow at dawn, so you have the night to think of the design. You can use any of the facilities on board. Good luck." Geirmund walked up to me and gave me the stink eye.
"You are a trickster, captain. I refuse to give you what you want, so you play my pride. Now that the wager has been made, I either give you what you want, or I lose, and then give you what you want, bound by my honour." I just laughed.
"You should know better than to deal with pirates, we don't play fair. I suggest you get to work, your future is at stake."
"Well Gilda, we get a show tomorrow, we should probably get some sleep." I told her as we lay on the bed in our new room. Gilda's room had been refitted to better serve Shimmer's purposes. After all, she wasn't a baby. Well, she's a baby dragon, but, she's as mature as Spike, probably early teen years. My room had been turned into a kind of office, and the two of us slept in a different room, in another part of the ship entirely. Too many 'noise complaints' from the rest of the crew, if you know what I mean.
"Yeah, sleep. What do you think of Freud anyway?" She asked.
"Well, he may very well be the only living thing more loopy than I am, immortal spirits of disharmony not included. He's a genius, that's for sure, but he definitely has problems he needs to work through. Still, We need him. Even if he just stays on the ship, in his room, and doesn't fight, that's fine. We just need someone to patch us up when we get back, and while Nadene's potions are great, they're no replacement for proper surgery. I mean, I can remove shrapnel and stuff, but I don't know anything about reattaching limbs, or working on organs. Just basic muscle tissue only."
"I just can't wait to see his face when you show him what you really look like."
"Yeah. Hi, you're an inventor? Bitch, please. I'm an alien from a world with advanced technology. He's gonna shit bricks. And just wait till we show him non unicorn magic."
"Don't you just love the sound someone's mind makes when everything they know is thrown out the window and their whole world shatters?" Gilda smiled.
"Absolutely. Why do you think I keep doing it? I seem to remember you making the same sound when I first killed that dragon. It looked like your brain melted. Then Blueblood's when we saved his ass, then Twilight's, although I have to say my favorite was Princess Cadence. Her fiance made temporarily brain dead, Celestia defeated, Chrysalis taking over the country, and I just dance in there wearing sunglasses and playing Catgroove, kick the changeling queen's ass, then walk away as if nothing happened. It was one of those 'nothing makes sense, I don't even care anymore' faces."
"I wish I could have seen it." She frowned.
"You know, I really ought to just bring a camera with me, so I can take pictures of all those moments. Oh! We so have to do that when we kill our first alpha. Before he dies, just hold up his maimed body, put some holiday stuff on him like a sun hat or something, and take a picture of us all together like we're on vacation."
"You're crazy, you know that?"
"And that's why you love me."
Dear Princess Luna
Do you have a special somepony?
Sincerely, Griffin and Gilda
Ps: Yes, we're together now.
I called him Geirmund Fraud instead of Freud. I did that on purpose.
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MOARdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
YAY!
NEW CHAPTER!!
MAKE MOAR!!!!
ps in honor of season 10 of RvB coming out in three days, Bow Chicka Bow Wow to Griffin and Gilda
Incredible work again!? Big shocker. I like this chapter a lot. Interesting wager and boss character development. Keep it up, brutha'.
Yes. So much yes. And, of course, Mecha-FullmetalAlchemist-Steampunk goodness is about to ensue. Can't wait to see a particle beam/plasma shield prostethic hoof come out of that!
lawl I like the German pony!
Oh phoo. Señior BlackWing, please. All in good fun. Either I'm loopy or you deleted my comment.
649486 Be a dear and read my other comment.
LOL make a lightsaber
another amazing chapter. absolutely brilliant. just one problem though.....WHEN IS THE NEXT CHAPTER OF SONG OF THE MOON COMING OUT?!
Somebody is in for a surprise. PREPARE THE BEAM CANNON! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
Congrats on getting featured... Again. Isn't this the second time?
649531
Already did :3
We got ourselves a duel.
Yay, you took my advice with turning the into ze! (for the most part)
649518 I am deleting any comments saying 'first' from now on.
649537 It's hard okay? I'm having trouble finding a flow on it.
hell yes finaly more letters
Zero's sword and and Protoman's shield.
or possibly a sonar gem engine and and just make a "shout cannon"
step 1) raise hoof
step 2) aim
step 3) deep breath
step 4) Fus Ro Dah!
Step 5) look badass as a wall of noise shoots forward
649540 they changed the featured system around. now whenever a popular story is updated its put into one of the 2 last slots of the featured board
649553 ze? would that be a mispelling or do you mean a marisa ze~?
649538 and now i want to see trixie the magician pull off a master spark beam :D
649580 No it just helps get the german accent across. My german teacher says it like that due to her accent, so it is just a little touch
Still cant comprehend the amount of win in this story
649573 Thank you, kind fellow.
649554 Well now, I suppose I can play fair. Would a comment claiming the staff of first as mine count for a deletion? Don't do that. People will rage, I tell you.
649544 Well then, jolly good.
Congrats on the Feature BlackWing :)
649538
brainshavings.com/assets_c/2010/06/firepower-thumb-400x320-587.jpg
649614 Any past 'first' comments can stay, but I won't tolerate any more of them.
so much funny.
649639 That's just nucking futs! *cheesy audience laughter* Where did that come from? And why did I say that? Okaaaay... Anyway, I understand the nuisance, so I can and will comply. Does that turn your frown upside-down? *more laughter* Okay, seriously, what the hell... I'm scared. I think the sit-coms are fighting back.
Am I the only one who thinks at one point that Griffin should meet The Doctor?
Trixies arm is a B.F.G
Your arguement is invalid
I don't know why..... But I see for me Freud coming up with something like this, just hoof/minature sized version
img22.imageshack.us/img22/4020/topsecretax1.jpg
This is probably a "blueprint" and idea Freud has stored in his archives.
Being a gryphon... oh that's gotta suck!
649639 *takes cover behind a truck as the army of soldiers charge at our location*
ARE YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK?!
649554
its ok. i know its hard. i just wanted to let you know that i love your stories. i loved monster and ascended and im loving griffin the griffin and song of the moon. they are brilliant and so epic on such a grand scale they are off the chart and over the 9000 limit. keep being awesome
Please tell me this story is either:
1) A never-ending story.
2) A very, very long way from being over.
PLEASE GOD LET IT BE THE FIRST!
649723 Well, it's not going to be neverending, because even I eventually run out of ideas. As for very long.... yeah. I think I might be at the halfway mark? Not really sure. I've got a lot more coming.
649750
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
oh i'm so glad i stopped trying to make sens of this thing the story is just getting crazier by the chapter, miniguns and cyborg trixie with lasers what's next?
Dem 'noise complaints'
dude if you won't write the clop fics, then get someone else to do it. honestly it sounds hilarious
649682that looks fucken awesomedl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
649639Geirmund reminds me of someone but i cant pin it down
649793 From the insanity that has been showed, that he has in his possession... I think this is right up his alley, in regards of how he thinks.
The R(ocket).P(ropelled).C(hainsaw). Now available at your nearest mad inventor with access to copious amounts insanity and firearms dealership certification.
I can't wait to see/read the expression in his face when Griffin shows him the laser cannon
(Also: BLACK DRAGONS FTW!!!)
I wonder. I wonder. would it not be a twist if Steelhorn lost? but only through showing the lazas that Freud will be convinced to tag along? If only for the knowledge he could absorb?
649500 Isn't it more like....hmmm... Bow Chicka bump bump!
Oh wait hahaha oh wait griffins hear I shall keep plans to self
How about giving Trixie A BASS CANNON? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png