I'm A Badass? (4)
I'm A Badass?
We spent maybe a week in the area, doing some hunting and foraging, just to give me enough time to learn how to fly properly. Flying was awesome. Hard, but awesome. Other than my wings getting tired from constantly hoisting up my now 600 pound body, there were thermals, updrafts, air pockets, head wind, tailwind, and all sorts of other things to worry about. Those would come with practice, but for the mean time, I was off the ground at least.
I used to be afraid of heights, mostly because I didn't trust people not to push me off. When I was a kid, still learning how to swim, I was standing on a diving board, and got pushed off when the instructer wasn't looking. I almost drowned. Instead of becoming afraid of water, I became afraid of heights. Go figure.
Anyway, since I could now fly, that wasn't a problem anymore. I'm not Fluttershy. And since my vision is about 500 times better than before, if I wanted, the ground would look really close. It did give me a sense of disorientation, but I got used to it. We decided to go back to the badlands, to the spot I appeared at. We met there, so it was a good a place as any to get started on the journey, wherever we decided to go.
"So, tell me more about the regions." I knew a bit about Equestria from the show, but nothing about the rest of it.
"Well, there's Equestria, which is in the middle. It's filled with a bunch of lame ponies. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna live in the Capitol, built on the mountain in the center. Celestia rasies the sun, Luna raises the moon, and that's what gives us our day/night cycle." She started. That much I already knew.
"Then we have the Griffin Dominion. We live in cave systems built in mountains, since there's a bit of worry about wild beasts. Nothing's worse than waking up to find yourself eaten by a manticore. They don't like fire though. We're pretty low tech compared to the other area's. Normally we don't even have fire, no education, we're kind of lacking in survival skills other than 'hunt, kill, eat, run away', which is why I was surprised to see what you did with the flint. Sucks having to eat food raw." She explained.
'Really? They didn't even have fire most of the time? What the hell kind of dump is that? Geez. I could advance that country to the freaking industrial age in under a year. Then again, that would throw off the balance of power, and if griffins are anything like I think they are, that'd start a war.
"We have to trade what little we have with the Diamond Dogs to the west. We have them dig out the mountains for us to live in, but they get to keep all the gems. Otherwise, we don't have homes. It's a pretty raw deal, but we don't really have a choice." Gilda seemed sad. No wonder griffins are grumpy, they live in a third world country!
"So, you have to hunt for food, which is scarce, and there aren't many plants since you live in mountain areas. You have to trade all your valuables to the Diamond Dogs just to have places to live, and you don't even have fire? What the hell. I may not have my memory, but I know damn well that's wrong. Wherever I'm from, whatever I did, I did NOT live like that."
"Yeah, well what can we do about it. Lots of us are in Gem Fido, trapped underground, working as slaves for the dogs. No sky's to fly in, just dank, musty air for the rest of their lives, pulling heavy carts." Gilda was almost crying, but she put on a brave face. There's something she's hiding.
"So wait, you trade with them, but they also take you as slaves?" It didn't make any sense to me.
"Yeah, sometimes griffins travel there to sell what they have. When you do, you have to bring all their own food and drink, or else the dogs will drug it, and you'll wake up in chains. Avoid back alleys, they like to string nets up and drop them on you." She was really upset.
"Seems like you know a lot about it." I said sympathetically.
"It's nothing you need to worry about." She got defensive, so I just dropped the topic.
"So, what about the other areas?"
"Well, there's the Feline Jungle. It's got all sorts of weird things there. It's where the Daring Do book series takes place. Oh, I forget, you don't know about that. Then there's the Volcanic Wastes. They are exactly like they sound. Nothing can live there for long since the air is pretty toxic high up, and half the ground is lava. It's a haven for criminals and other's who would rather not be found, like runaway slaves." She tensed up at the word slave.
'Wow I'm an idiot, either she or a family member is or was a slave for the dogs. Makes sense that they try that, I mean, I've seen them kidnap Rarity, and try to enslave the rest when they went to rescue her.'
"Then there's the Black Marsh. It's a fetid swamp filled with Hydra's, toxic gas, and all sorts of other nasty things. No civilization there. Finally, the Ring Sea, it's named that because it's like a ring on a finger. Equestria is the jewel on that ring. It's a bloody utopia. The princesses take care of their little ponies, and leave the rest of the world to it's fate.They have overwhelming power, but they do nothing to help the other races."
What she described was actually similar to earth. Nations with natural wealth, beauty, resources, all living in happiness, while the rest of the world starved and suffered from disease. Unfortunately, that was because the leaders of the suffering countries kept wasting the help they were getting.
"So, the princesses rule Equestria, who rules the Dominion, the dragon lands, and Gem Fido?" I asked.
"Nobody. Dragons are solitary, and often fight amongst themselves over land. The land got scorched, and pretty soon all the plants and animals died, so now they come hunting in Gem Fido for gems to eat. And the Dominion for griffins. The dogs live in packs, each ruled by an alpha. They sometimes have skirmishes over land too, but they mostly get along with each other. They tend to pay off dragons with gems to avoid being eaten themselves, and in return dragons will sometimes level mountains for them, or tear up huge chunks of earth so they can keep digging. Since the dogs eat gems too, they often times will fight dragons off. They learned to make weapons capable of hurting dragons, and have the range to hit them when they fly. We don't stand a chance against their hunting parties, and they often come here to capture slaves. Yet another reason we live in the mountains, out of reach. We need to fly them up there so they can work."
'Geez, life freaking sucks for these griffins, it's as bad as Africa, and has probably an equivalent amount of precious stones. (In case you didn't know, a lot of diamonds come from Africa)
"As for us griffins, we used to have a government, about 900 years ago. When Nightmare Moon popped up, wanting to take over the world, she promised us freedom from our plight, and prosperity if we helped her. We agreed. Who wouldn't under the circumstances? Then she got sent to the moon, and Celestia took our government apart for siding with her. We lost all semblance of organization, and wound up worse off than before. Now, there's actually only about 7000 of us left. All living separately. We're still called the Dominion, because we hope that one day we'll be able to rise up, fulfilling the dream of our ancestors of living a happy life, even though it will never happen."
Gilda had it rough. All griffins did. Maybe that's why she had a bad attitude. Yet she was still full of pride. A bunch of people living all on their own isn't a country. They have no government. Nobody to look to. They were an abandoned people.
"Why not just move to Equestria?" I asked a stupid question.
"Well, for starters, they don't take kindly to meat eaters there, even if we're omnivores. Lots of the things we eat here have rights there. Doesn't work to well if you try to eat a cow and the police show up. Especially since they're the only ones that have magic. Over here, cows, deer, donkeys, they're not sentient, they're just animals. It's different in Equestria. That land has magic running through it. All the Equestrians living on it became smart, and got wings or horns, or whatever nature thing the earth ponies have. The animals living outside of it are mundane. They wouldn't take kindly to a bunch of us showing up all of a sudden, still stuck in our ways, needing to feed us. We'd be a burden to society, and just another headache to the royalty. We've still got our pride! We won't let ourselves simply become someone else's problem."
Gilda said that last part with a fire in her heart. She had explained quite a bit. So basically Equestria was a kind of 'garden of eden', and while anyone could live there, you had to live by their rules, which basically meant giving up everything. Your lifestyle, your heritage, and any family members who didn't come with you.
"Well, we're here. This is where I found you." She pointed to a spot on the ground. We flew down to take a closer look. Checking around the area, I found nothing of importance. Looking around the rest of the landscape, I saw nothing. Just dead trees and scorched earth.
"Well, as much as I love the scenery, there's nothing of interest here, we might as well head back. After we eat of course. If we're lucky, we'll be back after nightfall, and we can find some animal asleep somewhere." I told Gilda.
"Heh, maybe you're not such an idiot after all." She laughed as she started to eat.
"By the way, since calling me Griffin is too awkward, just call me Grif, or dumbass, whichever works for you." She laughed, and almost choked. When I looked behind her, I almost choked, and I hadn't even eaten anything. I saw a massive black silhouette. A shadow, of a dragon.
"SHIT! Gilda, we're leaving, NOW!" I yelled. Gilda looked up at the sky, and froze in fear. I had to buck her to get her to snap out of it. (Soft paw pads are much less painful than claws or hooves) We took off into the sky. The shadow was chasing us. And it was gaining.
"Damn it, it's going to catch us. Into the clouds!" She yelled. I followed her, and so did the dragon. Once we were above the clouds, a stream of fire came pouring through them. This was not a friendly dragon like Spike, nor a tired dragon like in Dragonshy, this was a hungry dragon, and he was all out of gems.
"We can't keep avoiding him like this! Drop to the ground. He'll have a harder time maneuvering down there!" I yelled. Gilda nodded in agreement. We both flew close to the surface, with the dragon right behind us. This dragon was black, with red skin on it's wings. We kept avoiding the bursts of flame that it sent our way, until one finally caught Gilda. She had first degree burns, nothing too serious, given time to recover. Unfortunately smokey wasn't going to give her that time. She fell to the ground, shrieking in pain, and couldn't move. She watched as the dragon came close. He ignored me, having caught his meal. He was going to kill the first friend I had in years, even if she was a bit bitchy. As a repressed person, who bottles up rage and saves it for later, this put me over the breaking point.
'Okay, boss battle time. Gilda can't move, and I'm not strong enough a flyer to escape this guy, even without carrying her. Even If I abandon her, It'll just come after me next, and besides, letting him kill my only friend in this world is gonna ruin my social life. I don't WANT to be alone anymore. I'm gonna have to kill it. It's 100 times my size, breathes fire, and has armored scales that are fireproof and can deflect blows. The scales are also sharp, and rubbing against them the wrong way would be like a cheese grater. Wait, sharpened scales, I remember in episode two, that the scales can be plucked easily, and they're not sharp if you hold onto the base. Best way to kill something is with the teeth and bones of it's own. But how? I can't go for the neck, because that's armored as well, and moves around too much. Underbelly? No, still too thick. Wings aren't a kill shot. That only leaves, *Gulp* inside the dragon. I'll have to fly down his throat, but he'll roast me! Aha! Scales deflect flame. Okay, got the plan, now I hope I can pull it off. And if I do, I'm a freaking lunatic. What do I have to lose? If I fail, I die anyway, and being eaten alive is probably less painful than burning.'
It took me all of 6 seconds to think all of that. I flew up, and using my claws, yanked a scale off of him. He howled in pain, I guess it's like having hair pulled. As I pulled the scale out using my claws, it sliced my palms, causing them to bleed, eliciting a shriek from me. It hurt worse than a paper cut in between the fingers, but I had completed step one. The adrenaline and anger kept me from responding to the pain too badly.
The dragon noticed me, having painfully removed one of it's scales, and forgot about Gilda for the moment. It decided it'd kill me first, since she wasn't going anywhere. It breathed fire at me, which I blocked with the scale, using it as a shield. This also caused my claws to become slightly charred. It FUCKING HURT. Hands are super sensitive, and despite the fact that they were claws or talons or whatever didn't lessen it at all.
'I have to swing something heavy with hands that are burnt and sliced. How do I get myself into these situations?'
When the flame had cleared, I flew straight at the dragon. Gilda screamed something along the lines of 'Run you moron, you can't fight a dragon!' To which I responded.
"Watch me." Did I mention I have somewhat random tendencies that defy all logic? Like when I jumped down a mountain, unsure of whether I could fly, all the while being afraid of heights? Sometimes I just don't think normally. This was one of those times.
I could see tears in Gilda's eyes as I flew into the dragon's mouth, which he snapped shut. The cocky bastard was going to swallow me whole. As I moved down it's throat, still holding the scale, I jabbed it into it's neck, driving it through the esophagus, and fully into the wind pipe. Blood spurted everywhere, soaking me. The scale had blocked off the dragon's air flow. He took a deep breath, which brought the scale loose, sending it into his lungs. The sharp edges would carve up all the delicate tissues inside. This clearly wasn't the most intelligent dragon. Also lucky for me, being in the esophagus, when the dragon exhaled, the fire didn't get me. It began thrashing around uncontrollably. I was still being sprayed with blood, which I found actually tasted kind of sour. I guess dragons have a different taste to them. It stopped thrashing and fell over, dead.
After determining which way was out, I crawled out of the dead dragon's mouth, covered in blood, and I couldn't have been happier. I'm a dragon slayer. I half expected it to catch fire, and me absorb it's soul. I've been playing too much Skyrim. Gilda was looking at me strangely. I flew on top of the dragon, standing on it's body, and let out the ultimate sound of victory.
"WRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had always wanted to do that. While I may not be Dio Brando, you have to admit, it was pretty badass. Gilda looked like her brain had melted. I walked over to her, she had seemingly forgotten her pain.
"What's the matter? Never seen someone kill a dragon?" I acted like it was a common occurrence.
'What the FUCK did I just do. Haha, nope. That didn't just happen. Nope nope nope.'
"You magnificent, stupid, beautiful, DUMBASS!" She was throwing compliments in with her insults.
'Shut up and kiss me.'
"I thought you were dead! What the hell were you thinking!" She screamed.
'What WAS I thinking?'
"I guess when I saw you get hurt, I just went a little crazy." I said casually, licking the sour blood off myself.
"Why does dragon blood taste like lemon juice?" I asked to no one in particular. I tend to appear calm and ask stupid questions when I'm scared out of my mind. Helps overcome the mind numbing stupidity, and prevent's deer in headlight's syndrome. That, and acting sarcastically. Oh wait, I do that all the time.
"Can you move?" Another stupid question, she clearly couldn't.
"Yeah, I think I c... gaaaah!" She said, trying to put weight on her burnt back limbs.
"No, you can't. Let me help you."
"I SAID I'M FINE!" She yelled.
"Well, I suppose I can just leave you here then." Of course I never would. I'm an asshole, not heartless.
"Okay, fine. But you never EVER tell anyone about this." I picked her up, and slowly flew her to the place she had carried me to, up the mountain. I went down to the small forest we can killed the deer in, found some aloe plants, crushed em up, and made a salve. I'm no Zecora, but this would definitely help with the burns. It stung her a little as I applied it, but she felt better afterwards.
"I'm sorry."
"What?" She said confused.
"If I hadn't brought you out there, this wouldn't have happened."
"Shut up. I went there all on my own. I didn't HAVE to go there. I could have said no."
"Yup, I guess it really is all your fault then. Enjoy being off your feet for the next three days while that heals, I'm gonna go get us some dinner."
Stats
Page generated in 0.058 seconds
Total duration
996 users online
10,666 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
OMG definitly tracking
Tracking just because of the WRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
"too much skyrim"? there's no such thing as too musch skyrim
Why is it so easy to kill a 50 foot fire breathing monster?
Why it it that everything you write just keeps getting better and better, first you wrote monster which was an epic story and one of the most entertaining HiE story's i ever read, then you made Ascended which so far makes monster fade in comparison, and now this which is in my opinion the best one jet, you good sir is one of the best story writers i have come across on this site.
The story is very well written, and it feels like the story is progressing at its own rate, nothing seams rushed or forced in anyway the plot and humor just have a natural flow it which makes it very entertaining and fun to read, it feels more like a fantasy book then a fanfic to a cartoon.
First of im glade to see you made another HiE story, that genera is my favorite, (if done well that is) and this is the first story i have read where the human character gets changed to a griffin, so good to see you mix it up a bit (ill grown tired of all human turd pony fic´s)
I like how you described equestria and the rest of the world so far, where equestria is a gem souronded by therd wold country's, after reading what Gilda said about griffin history and there palace in the world, i kinda hope you progress the story whit him becoming the figure head and leader that they as a people have waited so long for, and that he helps restorer the dominion to its former glory whit his human knowledge oblivious badass fighting skills.
not sure how you who'd go about that tho... maybe you could have him rescue the captured griffins from the D-dogs, have him give a fiery speech about restoring the country to glory if they side whit him as king of the dominion (and Gilda as his queen if you are gonna do any romance between them). that who'd work i think. but what who'd i know im just brainstorming here
last i love the skyrim reference, i have bean obsessed whit that game ever sins i bought it a month ago and i see skyrim in everything.
if you had Grif be abel to use thu'um´s from skyrim. (FUS RO DAH!!!
)
it who'd be hilarious and so awesome
lol just though of something sooo epic, if he where to be king he could change the name from dominion to skyrim and take the titel high king lol´z
egnouth brainstorming for today i think otherwise i dont know where ill trail of to, so i'll better rap this up.
last point tho, im glad to see you dident plan to defing the power that brought him there, some thing are just best left alone.
ill already said this but i think its worthy of repeating so ill say it agin GRATE STORY i cant wait for more
247476 Wow, way to give away half the plot.............
246828 Because he's a genius. Then again, his hands are bleeding, and charred, he's covered in blood, nearly been crushed by the dragon's throat. In a straight up fight, he'd get his ass kicked. The point is that he does NOT fight fairly. He plays dirty, he cheats, he does whatever it takes to win. When he dove down it's throat, he wasn't thinking about being eaten, he was thinking 'Ooh, it's all soft and squishy in there, perfect for shredding!' Hit the weak point for massive damage. Since a dragon is completely armored, it's the only spot he hit. He was pissed that Gilda got hurt, so he lost all sense of self preservation, that and he was pretty much going to die anyway.
"Okay, so maybe you'll eat me, but I'm gonna make damn sure you choke."
247493
oh i didn't expect me to be that good of a guesser sorry hehe
I think one of the main reasons I like Griffin, is because he doesn't HAVE any special powers. His super power, is that he's a big mean meanie pants
When he get's mad, he likes to hurt things, and he does it using knowledge that ANYONE can have. He's the protagonist, but it's more like he's an anti hero.
i feel for my poor griffon people
There is one they fear, he is Griffinborn, pretty awsome
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH SKYRIM
Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin
naal ok zin los vahriin
wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!
*actual lyrics from the soundtrack Dragonborn of the game. that song is adictive.*
246680 actully to much skyrim is the same as playing to much minecraft and end up seeing the world in blocks
that or playing it 24/7
OMFG BEFORE READING THE CHAPTER I NOTICED THERE WERE 666 COMMENTS!!! O.O i saved the fiction... AWW YEAH 667!!!
wowowowo...
hold your ass up...
this story has
WAY TO MUCH AWESOME
to just be put in like 3k words...
DUDE SERIOUSLY
you aren't doing your story credit!
It DESERVES more detail!!
OMG...
Oh and DOVAHKIN!
< FUS RO DAH!
Griff' for president! Or King. Or whatever government the Dominion want!
My reactions on this chapter:
"Anyway, since I could now fly, that wasn't a problem anymore. I'm not Fluttershy."
Thats mean of you
look what you did sir.
Thank god that it doesn't seem to be too many Fluttershy fans here.
else i think you might have aquired a broken bone.
Should've muttered fus ro da after killing it.
Awesome
That moment when you want to make a suggestion, but the story has already been written so it can't be implemented.
Am I the only one who pictures him walking out of the dragons mouth while dancing to Catgroove or humming Banana Phone or something like that? You know, for shits and giggles.
353125 One of my friends sang that at the school talent show. That and the Super Smash Brothers Brawl theme.
I half expected it to catch fire, and me absorb it's soul. I half expected the dragon to look at your and say Dovahkiin and then you scream 'FUS RO DO' and then use 'WULD' then kill it
246828 What Blackwing said and also, nerds play way too many video games, so killing 50-foot fire breathing monsters is like a game to us.
oh gilda is such a tsundere
247504
"Oooo, its all squishy! Its covered in JAM!"
247768
and then you got cut to ribons by a black wingless dragon called ember... is she gona come up any time soon???
and yes im re-reading it... ''...'' again>.> (3th time)
A tragic fate for all griffins. It's an interesting take on the land of MLP, having Equestria as the shining jewel surrounded by unfortunate others. Lucky for you, I like interesting.
247768 Nahhhhhh. Ever played Tales of Vesperia? Grif is Yuri Lowell. (That's mah story and ah'm stickin to it!)
I have gained so much respect for all griffin kind........Have a
>>>What she described was actually similar to earth. Nations with natural wealth, beauty, resources, all living in happiness, while the rest of the world starved and suffered from disease. Unfortunately, that was because the leaders of the suffering countries kept wasting the help they were getting..>>>
*slow clap* Thank you for being one of the few who picks up on the second half of that. Most are like, "WAHHHHH!! Rich nations are greedy and bad!" Tell that to Zimbabwe, which went from a thriving agricultural economy to a desolate, impoverished disaster in less than 20 years thanks to their glorious leader Mugabe and his warlord thugs.
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime, give an African leader a fish and all he'll do with it is slap some poor villager in the face with it. (I should be World Emperor, by the way, because I am the bestest.)
Though, I gotta say, this is already clearly not the Equestria we know.
Gilda lived in Equestria, went to Junior Speedsters, and was able to walk in Ponyville without ponies hiding in fear (as they did with Zecora, make note!), meaning they were all familiar with griffin and weren't worried that one of them was going to leap upon them and stab its beak into their brainstems (you realize by now I'm never going to stop referencing that part and jam it into every comment I can somehow...)
Also, Gustav Le Grande was also clearly a well-accepted griffin, being accepted into Canterlot itself for a royal baking competition.
My hypothesis now is that the Equestria(s) in this "Chess Game of the Gods" is a dystopic, bastardized FAKE!! It's real purpose is to LIE TO BRONIES!! That's right! The gods want us to think it's a terrible place so we won't want to go there! And then they can take it over and sell it to rich Arabian oil barons for huge profits! I know how those greedy gods think, with they're flashy temples and always wanting offerings!
Well I'm onto them now! As Hulk would say, "PUNY GODS!!" You're no match for the Deux Ex Insert, Alondro the Troll King!
Griffin is best griffin.
(isn't it spelled gryphon)
ok, that's a good explanation why he isnt confronted by food that begs for its life, so "Equestria / Everyone else" is like the whole "Narnia / Human nations" thing. got it.
Why is it that whenever that there's a Skyrim reference, that they think FUS RO DAH
?
I'd like to change that to STRUN BAH QO!
When you mentioned Dio Brando my heart exploded from the amount of awesome in this chapter.
Don't get me wrong I'm enjoying the hell out of this story but oh christ Griffin is such a bucking Mary Sue I'm amazed he isn't in the dictionary *falls over laughing helplessly*
As an aside, I doubt this will affect you much but typically when you want to indicate someone is thinking Italics work way better than apostrophes. Mainly because at a glance an apostrophe can look a lot like quotation marks and vice versa. If people are constantly stopping to check as they read it can break the flow of the story.
Can't wait t'read more n_n
Dragon blood tastes like lemon juice? I love lemon juice!
Wait so you jumped off a cliff, even though you were afraid of heights?
seems legit
Everything that lives has a weakness, and if it has a weakness, then it can be killed.
VICTORY!
Whoa fuck! That was awesome!
2588864 but but but...... Chuck Norris D:
2851181 Everything that LIVES
DATS BADASS!!!
2851181 lol chuck is like 70 and weaker than hell.
*Griffin just killed a dragon*
cdn.meme.li/i/9nc6x.jpg
My girlfriend, she has said those exact words to me, gooood tiiiiiiiiimes.
I see now who wears the pants in the relationship
They are really made for each other.
That comment made me laugh my ass off, reading stories about sarcastic heroes/assholes is just too much fun!
Time for some re-reading. Gotta do something while fresh chapters of Dantes Griffin are in the making.