Did I Mention I'm A Pirate? (21)
Did I Mention I'm A Pirate?
"Mmmmmrrrrrhhhhhh. Damnit. Stupid sun. Go back down for a bit. It's not supposed to be morning yet." I grumbled as I crawled out of my leaf bed. Gilda also awoke, as did Etch and Growl.
"Anyone remember what we did last night?"
"Well, we got drunk, you made these necklaces, one for each of us, with three extra for a doctor, smith, and herbalist when we find them. Then you became depressed and invented thermite, and then we went back to bed." Gilda recalled the events of last night.
"I made thermite when I was plastered? I'm a freaking genius! Gilda, remind me to never get drunk again. Seriously. Not worth it."
"You got it."
"Hey, is it hot today or what?"
"No, I think the booze addled your brain." She mocked.
"I'm gonna go fly around for a bit to cool off and get my head on straight."
I took off, high into the sky. I flew around for about ten minutes until I noticed something on the horizon. I went to take a closer look, spotting a very large group of ponies, all in armor, headed straight for Wethoof. The reinforcements would be there at noon. I bolted back to camp and interrupted breakfast.
"Hurry up, let's go let's go! We gotta move! Dogs, move our stuff back to the old camp to the west. Gilda, you're with me. No time to explain. I'll fill you in when we're in the clear." Sensing my tone of urgency, they didn't question it, all taking to their duties immediately. As I flew with Gilda towards the village, right over the gate, as they knew to let me pass anyway, I filled her in.
"Noon today?"
"Yeah. Probably here to help with the hydra problem. Very large army of trained military ponies plus only two of us equals sad Griffin. We're getting Trixie and getting the hell out of here before they arrive. I'll need you to back me up, I have no idea what might happen."
"What about the hydras?" She asked.
"Fuck the hydras. Let Echo and the army take care of it. We're not needed. I'll drop him a line telling him we're bolting, then we're out of here."
We flew quickly to the medical tent, then calmed ourselves as we entered. We didn't want to give away what we were doing. Upon entering, I noticed that Trixie's bed was empty.
"Nurse, where's the blue unicorn that was here?"
"She's been released. She'll still need to have her medication for the next three days though. She has it on her. As of right now, she's with the mayor. He called her there for some important business or something." As soon as she said mayor, we bolted. I did NOT like where that was going.
"This has the smell of treachery all over it."
We quickly arrived at mayor Frost Snap's office, both of us on edge and ready for a fight. The guards moved out of our way, clearly sensing the air. I found my pony crew member tied to a chair with a shackle on her horn, and a gag in her mouth.
"Well well, I didn't expect you to be here so soon Griffin. I am not happy."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Oh, no reason really. It's just that a little birdy told me that you had actually befriended Echo and were planning on escaping after this whole hydra business had been dealt with. That little birdy was you. The walls have ears you know."
'Shit! I got drunk and let the plan slip! DAMNIT! Okay, recovery.'
"Yes, unfortunately that bastard guard Tythus figured out my little plan, so I had to put on a bit of a show." Come on, buy it.
"Oh, I know. I don't doubt you in the slightest. I'm just keeping her here as an.... insurance policy. After all, if the royal army were to show up and found a wanted criminal in the medical ward, well, there would be nothing I could do to prevent them from taking her. You understand of course, given my position, I can't exactly let it be known that I'm harbouring pirates." Son of a bitch! He got me! Really want to kill Frost Snap now.
"Yes. I'd hate for anything to happen to my crew. I'm glad we have an understanding." I put on my best poker face as I began to leave the room.
"Oh, and Griffin, if you even so much as think of betraying me again, you're precious little pony will be an icicle before you can say 'feather brain'." He couldn't see my face, but as soon as he threatened her, my eyes went bloodshot. Gilda looked at me warily before I put on my poker face.
"Oh! I almost forgot! I made a gift for you Trixie, here. It's a necklace made with a tooth from that dragon I killed. Since you're a little bit occupied at the moment, let me put it on." I reached into my pack and pulled out the necklace, as well as 2 vials of knockout gas. I slipped the necklace on her, then tossed one of the chems into the face of the guard that was behind her. Holding my breath, I drew Hades in time to deflect a bolt of frost magic, right back at it's caster. Mayor Frost Snap was frozen to his new desk. I pointed the blade at his neck. Hearing the commotion, two guards from outside entered, only to be knocked out by having their unarmored heads smacked against each other, courtesy of Gilda.
"And so the tables have turned again. I never intended to kill Echo. I've been lying to you the whole time. Right from the moment we found out he was part of the plan, a critical part of keeping YOUR daughter alive, we had decided against it. You are so obsessed with getting your revenge on a guy who's only crime was that he tried to help YOU, that you were willing to risk Ginger Snap's life."
"Do not tell me how to raise my daughter, or run my city!" He raged.
"Tell me, how much is a life?"
"What?"
"Are all lives equal? Is the life of a pony worth more than that of a griffin or a diamond dog?"
"Of course it is! Your kind is the scum of the earth! You are no better than those mutts! It is by the princess's mercy that you are still alive. If it was my choice, I'd have wiped you all out ages ago! We are the ones meant to live in peace and prosperity. I'm glad your kind is dying off."
"If the life of a pony is worth more than that of a diamond dog, why are you willing to risk the lives of all the ponies in Wethoof, including your own, and your daughter's, to kill ONE of them?"
"Because he needs to die! He's a diamond dog! He's the same as the ones who killed her!"
"No, he's not. Your wife was killed by ONE diamond dog, Moss Paw. If I recall correctly, you killed him and wiped out all of the Greenclaws. You've already gotten your revenge! They have already been punished for their crimes! It's you who can't let go! I know for a fact that Echo saved your daughter's life, TWICE, at the risk of his own, and that despite hating them as much as you do, she actually respects him!" Frost Snap spat in my face. I brought my claws forward, putting them just barely in front of his eyes.
"You wouldn't dare. When the army comes...." I looked right at him with my piercing eyes, the veins on them protruding slightly.
"I'll be long gone. Guess what bub? It's just you and me for the next half hour. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, threatens my crew. I don't care if you're the princess herself, nobody fucking messes with me! I'd rather be friends with a diamond dog, than work for a racist little PRICK like you. Sure, Ginger Snap might hate me for what I'm about to do, but since I'll never see her again, I don't give a shit."
"You, you can't!" He squealed in fear.
"I can do whatever I want, because in case I didn't mention it before, I AM A PIRATE.
I brought my claw back, Frost Snap closed his eyes expecting the final blow. I decided I wouldn't kill him. No, I'd make him have nightmares about me for years to come. I opened my claw, smashing the vial of knockout chemicals into his face, twisting so that the glass shards became embedded in his muzzle.
"Be glad I'm feeling merciful and am letting you sleep through this, but it's gonna hurt like HELL when you wake up. Wouldn't do to fill the town with screams and have any more guards come up here."
I used Hades to chop off his mane and tail. Sure, it'd grow back, but it was a pride thing. Once that was done, I used my knife-like claws to carve the word 'Trash' into his forehead, right under his horn. It would leave a nasty little scar, so every morning, when he woke up, he'd look in the mirror and see EXACTLY what he was. Then I took out a vial of thermite and melted his desk, but not before I took a piece of parchment and quill from it.
"Dear Echo,
Sorry pal, Army's coming today, can't stick around. Hope you can handle a few pansy hydras without me. Remember, if you cut off the head, burn the wound shut so it won't grow back. Mayor tried to kill us cuz he found out I wasn't going to off you. Tell Ginger I'm sorry she had to put up with such a disgrace of a pony father, and while what I did was extreme, maybe it'll make him remember what's important, the lives of everyone in Wethoof, including hers, or some petty revenge he had exacted years ago. He picked wrong today.
Sincerely, Equestria's most wanted, Griffin.
Ps, I know you like bananas, but how do you feel about thermite? A little clickity click with those claws of yours and the enclosed vial goes up like a roman candle.
I untied Trixie, who just looked at me in shock over what I had done. Gilda said that while I may have gone way overboard, he had it coming. This was supposed to be the land of peace, harmony, and tolerance, and with worthless pieces of shit like him running around, it wasn't living up to it's image. I made sure she had her medication with her, strapped her into my harness, then left the office via kicking the door down, (it wasn't even locked) and flew off into the sky. Spotting Echo, I dropped the letter, which struck him right on the head, before I turned and headed towards camp.
'Bull's eye.' I saw him pick it up and begin to read it, his expression turning stern. He looked up to the sky, and I was already gone.
We flew silently tho whole way back to camp, nobody saying a word. Mostly because they were afraid of me after what I had just done. I knew Frost Snap. He was EXACTLY the same as those entitled assholes back home who think they're better than everyone, and treat them like dirt because of it. So, I got pissed off. I finally have to power to make a change in the world, even if it's not MY world. Who am I kidding, it is now. Only reason I didn't gut him and put his head on a stick is because his daughter is friends with Echo, and I didn't want to make his life any harder.
After reaching camp, the dogs were hard at work getting everything set up again. They weren't at all surprised to see me carrying Trixie, considering the orders I had given them.
"Grif, are you..." Gilda began cautiously.
"Yeah, I'm alright. In fact, I'm feeling MUCH better now. Etch, Growl, thanks for taking care of things on your end. I know it's not glamorous, but you guys keep this whole group running right. Come here ya big lugs." At which, I grabbed them both around the necks and gave them a hug, something that surprised the hell out of them.
"Eh, Grif?" Trixie asked, finally getting her voice back, confused at my actions.
"Oh, yeah. The buildup and then release of anxiety, aggression, fear, and stress causes a euphoric sensation, so don't be surprised if I go all lovey dovey after I beat the crap out of someone. In fact, you guys probably feel it too, just to a much lesser degree, considering I have YEARS of pent up anger that I'm getting out. Frosty reminds me of Carl. I fucking HATE Carl."
"Ehh, ooooohhhhkaaaaaayy then. Still, we've got Trixie and her medication, we're all alive, the hydra issue will be taken care of in short order, and Grif got to blow off some steam by torturing an asshole. Was today a good day?"
"Well, the day isn't over yet, but this morning was fan-fucking-tastic! I'm glad we live in a tree, because sometime around noon, we're gonna get to see some fireworks. I wish it was at night, then we could actually see it really well, but whatever."
Watching the bomb go off was, to say the least, anti-climactic. I was expecting something kind of like a mushroom cloud, but the explosives didn't have enough oomph for something like that. No duh. It was right next to the town. They're trying to kill the hydras, not the townsfolk, with the exception of Frost Snap of course.
Being a griffin is awesome. You got the eye sight, still getting to eat meat, built in weaponry, natural strength, and most of all, the flying. There's just one teensy little thing about it that's terrible.
"Damn, it's freaking HOT! Why is it so damn hot! And it itches like hell! NNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG." I groaned as I laid on my back, scratching it on the floor of our hut, then up the tree. Nothing would bring relief.
"Aw, look, little Griffin is all grown up! It's his first moulting!" Gilda laughed.
"Shut up and help me! I don't know what I'm supposed to do! DAMN IT! It's itchy! Make it stooooooooop." I didn't have a book on bird biology, and I didn't read up on it since it wasn't necessary for survival. I mean, who goes out expecting to become a bird?
Gilda, Trixie, Etch, and Growl were far too busy laughing at my desperate attempts to stop the itching to help me. Gilda flicked a tear away from her eye and took a deep breath to settle herself before explaining.
"Just look in your feathers, and pull out the ones that don't lay flat. If it sticks up, it means another feather is already coming in to replace it."
"Pull em out, got it!" At which point I took great handfuls of my feathers and ripped them out.
"Gaaaah!" It was painful, but it was also sweet relief at the same time. I guess it would be like waxing your legs, except when you rip it off, you're getting rid of something that was biting you.
"Whoa, hey! Not all of them! Just the ones that are sticking up!" Gilda tackled me to try and pin me and make me stop, which was surprising easy in the first aspect given that I had stripped all my armor and weapons off, but difficult in the second as I continued to roll around, yanking my feathers out.
"Dumbass, chill for a second!" She shouted, I didn't listen. I just continued pulling the feathers.
"Only take the ones that are sticking up!"
"They're ALL sticking up!"
"No they aren't! You're just over reacting!" We struggled for several more minutes, Gilda trying to pin me while I furiously plucked myself of every last feather from my bird body.
"Baaaaaaaahahahahahhaa." The entire camp laughed at the now naked me. I looked like a chicken someone had plucked, prepared to be cooked. Taking a good look at myself, I joined in their fit of laughter.
"Anyone up for some chicken wings?" I asked as I opened the now featherless limbs, letting the relatively cool breeze blow over them.
"Ooooooooohhhhh yeah, that's good."
"This is hilarious. You went overboard and now you're naked! This brings a problem though. You've got no feathers. You can't fly." The implications of this hit immediately. Not only would I be unable to enjoy the open skies until my feathers came in, but I had just lost my primary mode of transport. If we were attacked and needed to escape, I wouldn't be able to. Heck, I wouldn't even be able to get in and out of the tree house.
"How long?"
"Two weeks."
"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! Two weeks of no flying? This sucks!"
"Yep, you better collect all those feathers, because you're going to be laying on them quite a lot for the next fourteen days." Trixie rubbed a hoof full of my own feathers in my face.
"What the hell am I going to do up here that whole time?"
"Other than go stir crazy?" Gilda dropped several books in front of me.
"Trix here spent a week out of commission because you were too much of a dumbass to read up on the area before we got here. Never again. You're the leader. Start acting like it." She was right. We had spent so much time getting our bodies in shape we had completely neglected our minds. Me specifically. I should have been prepared, and because I wasn't, Trixie almost died, and we fell into a trap.
"You're right. I need to pick up the slack I've made. If I'm gonna be useless for the next two weeks, I gotta make sure I use that time to suck less in the future. Until my feathers are back, Gilda, you're leader. I still keep the necklace though."
With that said and done, I began reading up more on the area, as well as the ones we would be heading to in the future. The time would come when we didn't have the convenience of looking up the answers in a book. We'd need to know them right away. I also began making more of the thermite bombs. I had a feeling we'd need a lot of them in the future.
Dear Princess Luna,
If your sister is the sun princess, why are you the hotter of the two?
Sincerely, Equestria's most wanted, and at the moment, least feathered, Griffin.
So yeah, I'm done with Echo now. He might come back later, he might not. Who is to say? Okay, Rust and I are to say, but we haven't advanced that far yet. Poor naked chicken Grif, everyone is laughing at him. So, next arc is coming. I'm adding another crew member, after a little bit of adventure. In case you couldn't tell, Grif is mentally unstable. Also, admit it, you honestly expected me to have Grif and Echo fight the hydras, have a big party to celebrate after they win, all that. He really doesn't care about Wethoof. He cares enough not to doom them all, but not enough to help them out at his own expense. He's got to keep his eye on the prize, and fighting hydras when the town had it handled was an unnecessary risk. Griffin was hot because the feathers were holding in extra heat.
Stats
Page generated in 0.059 seconds
Total duration
1,036 users online
1,435,807 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Agree! But do not forget teaching the d-dogs how to read. And that letter, oh god I will love to see her reaction !
can they really be naked if they don't were clothes
well life sucks for you grif I love my life I itch a lot so I deal legs itch I deal arm itches I deal okay I may have to do what he does except only I could think...... my life sucks the bullies are smart enough not to hit me damn it why can't they let me hurt them (Mentally abusing someone is not enought to send me on one of my rampages they make is it so I cant rampage
)
LUNA IS BEST PONY! IN EVERY WAY!
This is the greatest thing ever, I have been waiting so long for that shit-for-brains mayor to get what's coming to him
Yea I figured that out, long time ago.
Oh hohooohohohoooo! This gave me a very, very good idea, indeed. Thanks, pal, you just inadvertently helped close up a major plothole.
Get a teenage dragon to join the crew as the for the smith
He might be slightly unstable, but Griffin is my favorite of all the OC's you've made
Really though, Carl is a jerk.
444017 Glad I could help.
444046 Yeah, I know. Fuck Carl.
444018 What the hell did I say about giving away the plot! Oh well, that won't be for a while.
i wanted echo to join themmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Humm about how long in the future will it be before they get to the "free all the dogs and griffin" part / having a real army ?
I just want to say how the hell do you do it. You are able to write 3 great stories all at once. You good sir are a god among men share your knowledge with us mere mortals
And here i thought Echo was joining the crew oh well. Makes me wonder who else will join the crew will they be OC or character we have already seen on the show.
444056
Dat letter
A great chapter once again!!! Need new crew member? Why not zoidburg? Jk, how about a hippogriff? Half griffin half horse?
Can't wait to see Luna's reaction to the letter. Great story.
444018 OO excelent idea :D Blackwing you gotta do it XD
Time to get the BBQ sauce out, having me some Griffon.
Lol most wanted griffin and also the least feathered griffin.
Can't wait to see the reaction of the princesses from that letter.
ohohoh me want luna reaction
444018 I say ol' chap, make it a teenage black dragon...... the lulz will be had once it finds out what Griffins sword is made of.....
Dude.
Add Zecora to the party.
DO IT
"CarrrrLLLL, that kills people!"
Good chapter.
Glass ground into the muzzle, "Trash" carved into the forehead. Ouch.
"P.S. Moulting SUCKS!"
444018 For some reason, this reminded me of Chip from "The Ambassador's Son" by Midnight Shadow. It's a really good story by the way. A bit sad, but excellent nonetheless. Chip probably wouldn't fit too well in this story, but it still made reminded me of him.
447617 Well, Applejack and Fluttershy don't really know him, so they're there mostly because they wanna see what the deal is. Pinkie wants to fix his grumpy, Rainbow probably wants a rematch, Rarity, despite being horrified about what happened to him, wants to know more, Twilight figures he was just lying about everything as an excuse to do what he wants. She's also gone twi-crazy (there is no emote, but it's the 'Hello Gurlz' face) because suddenly nothing makes sense anymore. Now that she looks at it, she's been doing things like this all the time, (hooves, putting things in non existent saddle bags), but has no idea how, and it's driving her NUTS.
444056
Wait, so that's actually gonna happen?
Sweet.
I can see the troll aiming at Twilight now
the naiavity of twilight is astounding
aslo fot the potion maker can we get a zebra
prefurably one that dosen t rhyme
poor Celestia, Luna is getting all the love while she is just getting trolled
i agree with Griff's troll letter in this chapter. highly.
o.o
He ripped out ALL his feathers?
Dumbass...
So Griff, who does not understand Equestrian Pony standard carved letters into the mayor's forehead. Is the mayor even going to be able to read these letters? Good story so far :)
So, question: Since in both stories, the events at wethoof are different, by... a lot, are they no longer considered canonically in the same universe?
606050 Different by "a lot"?! They are NOTHING alike! Not even remotely compatible!!! Worst "Crossover" ever, plus rust made Griffin a total douche! I removed this story from my read list after reading rust's half of this "not-a-crossover", I decided to check this half after a week or so... damn good thing I did!
Brah I still stay fucking confuse
444017 So I know it's like 14 weeks later, but what WAS that plot hole?
959980
After this long, I honestly forget...
You're crazy too?
1. Never would have guessed
2. SO AM I
Chapter 21 comment!
>>>In fact, you guys probably feel it too, just to a much lesser degree, considering I have YEARS of pent up anger that I'm getting out. Frosty reminds me of Carl. I fucking HATE Carl.">>>
pbmo.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/carl.jpg
Carl hated Griffin too.
This has the feeling of One Piece all over it.
And Griffin wins yet again...
like it was a surprise.
This story had some really good potential and I was pretty hopeful but... a Marry Sue is a Marry Sue is a Marry Sue.
I might try and read some more... but... it's hard to keep pressing onward in a story when there's no threat to the main character. And I mean not a single thing... he's able to make weapons (both thermite and stuff like swords), he's armed with a sword made from dragon scale and bones, knows how to cook/get food from nature, knows leather working to the point where he can make a harness/saddle for himself, Prince Blueblood owes him a favor, and he's freaking rich so if he doesn't have something he can buy the best (such as armor). His only downsides is that he's a pirate and is arrogant as hell... but none of that has really had any kind of negative impact on him. Never has his arrogance gotten him way in over his head, and I've yet to see him having trouble (like real trouble not a fly that annoys you) because he's a pirate.
720577 Yeah as a crossover this was terrible... but to be fair to Rust... Griffin IS kinda a major douche.
You know, I'm actually glad that he's jumping out of the fight. It wouldn't fit the story, and quite frankly it'd be cliche. All too many stories (and movies and video games) have a major event where they send out a 'call for heroes' as it were, and everybody and their grandmother whether they were heroes previously or not decide to jump on the bandwagon. You did not do this. Thank you.
The characters between Rust's story and BlackWing's take on entirely different personas, and while they may fit their respective story, they tarnish the idea of a cohesive universe and shouldn't be treated as crossovers, more of shared characters in different stories. However, I find this unwise as it confuses the reader and, personally, lost some respect or interest in the second read story (this being mine), because the reader's mind views the story in their initial and/or favorite state.
He's a chicken I tell ya! A giant chicken!
See, thats the type of stuff that makes this story so awesome! As where other hero's would've fought the hydras to defend the town, griffin here said 'fuck that!' and took off with his crew. I love this story because its told from a nuetral perspective.
Truely a unique piece of fanfic, you rock, Blackwing!