//------------------------------// // Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 80: Chris & Elise Vs. Reveal // Story: The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship Chapter 80: Chris & Elise Vs. Reveal -ooooooo- “So… what do you think it is this time?” Chris asked from the driver’s seat of his wife and his car. The bright California sun beat down on the blue sedan as Chris drove past adobe homes. Elise merely shrugged and looked out the window at the passing palm trees that lined the road, “It’s not like strange phone calls from Dan bereft of explanation are rare.” “Well, he asked for both of us,” Chris said as he raised a hand off the steering wheel and held it palm up, “that’s a little different.” “Less so since Pinkie’s been around,” Elise pointed out, “though his requesting of my presence usually sounds a little more reluctant.” “See! Weird,” Chris asserted, “he straight up asked for the both of us and wouldn’t tell us what it was about.” “Well…I mean, that probably rules out just going out for lunch and any other number of mundane activities,” Elise mused. “But that just leaves us with the weird… and there’s a lot of weird that we could be asked to deal with.” Elise paused, “You said Pinkie was sick, right?” Chris shrugged, “I thought she was, but I talked to her over the phone last night. She didn’t exactly sound like she was a little hoarse or anything. She just seemed normal…I mean, by Pinkie Pie standards.” Elise nodded, “Of course.” Chris parked the blue sedan in front of Casa Paradiso and stopped the car. “Maybe they want us to fight a giant monster or a horde of monsters…” Chris said as he and Elise exited the car, “… or a horde of giant monsters.” “Well, Dan didn’t say to bring any weapons,” Elise reasoned as they walked towards the apartment complex steps. “Dan also knows you carry enough weapons on you to arm a third world nation,” Chris replied. “Good Point,” Elise said as the couple made their way up the stairs, “not to mention Pinkie and Dan seemed to have started their own little armory.” Chris sighed, “I miss the days when Dan didn’t have quick access to firearms.” “Well, he does live next to a shooting range,” Elise pointed out. “Yeah, but I always figured he was more likely to blow it up then to borrow anything from it,” Chris said as he reached for the doorknob to apartment ‘8’. “Chris, wait!” Chris paused, his hand millimeters from the doorknob, “What?” Elise looked over the apartment carefully, “The blinds are all drawn. The ones on the side of the apartment too, I noticed it when I we drove up.” “Yeah… so?” Chris asked. “It could be a trap,” Elise suggested. “Uh, for us?” Chris asked. “More likely for me,” Elise replied. “Oh for crying out loud, you self-important, glorified, government, garbage lady,” Dan shouted from inside the apartment, “it’s not a trap!” “Dan?” Elise called. “Where’s Pinkie?!” “I’m in here!” a familiar cheery voice called out. “It’s fine! It’s not a trap!” “How do I know you’re not being force to say these things at gunpoint!?” Elise demanded. “Because Pinkie sucks at lying,” Dan pointed out. “It’s true! It’s kinda my Chiles's veal!” Pinkie shouted.   “I told you just last night that it was ‘Achilles’ eel’!” Dan shouted. “And I told YOU it was ‘heel’!” Chris shouted. “Oh…right…” Dan and Pinkie said in unison. Elise smiled and shook her head, “It’s fine.” Chris cocked his head towards his wife, “You sure?” “I sincerely doubt there’s any paramilitary or organized crime family that has anyone who could put up being stuck with those two in their tiny apartment for almost any length of time,” Elise pointed. “You see!” Dan shouted. “Hey! Wait-a-minute!” “See Dan!” Pinkie said. “Sometimes it pays to be annoying!” “Chris, would you please tell your cow to shut up and just open the door?!” Dan demanded. “DID YOU JUST CALL ME A COW?!” Elise yelled. “Well sure, I mean, isn’t that what they call it when one gets married? Buying the cow?” Dan asked. Elise pushed Chris out of the way and erupted in an angry growl, “GRRRRRRRRRRRRRROAAAAR! I’LL DESTROY YOU!” She threw open the door and stepped into the apartment. Chris quickly followed his wife, “Elise, wait! Don’t kill…” The couple’s eyes shot open wide as their lower jaws both unhinged from their mouths. ‘Click.’ Dan stared at the pink camera in his hand and smiled, “Oh that’s going on the wall, for sure…” “OH MY GOSH?! YOU’RE REALLY A PONY?!” Chris and Elise cried. “YES! SHE’S (I’M) A PONY!” Dan and Pinkie replied. Chris’s eyelids twitched a bit as his eyes rolled back into his head. He quickly lost consciousness and fell backwards with a loud ‘Thump!’ Dan sighed. “Who saw that one coming?” he asked while raising his hand. “I sure did!” Pinkie said happily as she raised a forehoof. “Merow,” Mr. Mumbles mewed as she raised a paw. The three apartment dwellers stared at Elise who continued to gawk at Pinkie. “Uh, hey Cow, could you close the door? We kinda don’t want the world to know Pinkie is actually a pony,” Dan said. “Oh… right…” Elise uttered. She dragged her unconscious husband inside, closed the door, and turned back towards Pinkie. “Wow, you’re… still a pony…” Elise said. Pinkie looked down at her forelegs and turned to look at her fluffy, pink, curly tail. “Yep,” she confirmed. “Yes, Pinkie’s a pony, oh wow, great…” Dan said in a mocking, high pitched tone. He leveled an index finger at Elise, “but you can’t tell ANYONE!” Elise nodded, “Just so long as you don’t tell anyone about what I’m about to do.” Pinkie and Dan both raised an eyebrow and looked at eachother, then turned back to Elise. “Don’t worry Elise,” Pinkie said, “you’re secret is safe with us!” Elise nodded, “Thanks Pinkie… alright… here it goes…” Elise took a deep breath, raised her palms to her cheeks, and emitted what would go down in in history as one of the girliest shrieks ever to come out from an adult woman, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OHMYGOSH! MY BEST FRIEND IS A TALKING PINK PONY! THIS IS SO AWESOME! THIS IS SO UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME! THIS IS JUST LIKE ALL MY CHILDHOOD DREAMS COMING TRUE ALL AT ONCE!” Pinkie smiled, “She’s taking this well.” Dan crossed his arms, “Hmmph, a little too well…” Elise continued, “Can I brush your mane?! Oh PLEASE say I can brush your mane!”  she begged as she clasped her hands together. Dan narrowed his eyes. “No!” he replied sternly “Dan, Elise is my friend and she can brush my mane if she wants,” Pinkie replied. “But that’s my thing!” Dan whined. “No fair!” Elise cried as she pointed to Dan. “You’re hogging all the mane brushing for yourself!” “Yes, because she’s my girlfriend!” Dan pointed out. “Well, your girlfriend is now a pony! All bets are off,” Elise insisted as she quickly crossed her arms in front of her. “Besides! It’s not like you would have cared if I brushed her hair when she was a human!” Pinkie looked up at Dan, “She’s got a point, you never once tried to brush my hair when I was human. The closest you got there was trying to shave my hair off…” Dan’s face turned pensive, “Erm…” “With a big electric razor,” Pinkie reminded. “Uh…” “The caught FIRE in my hair when it got stuck!” Dan went silent and pursed his lips as he sensed he had lost the conversation. “…Fine, when you’re human again, I’ll brush your hair,” he mumbled out. “Yay!” Pinkie cried happily, “Elise still gets to brush my mane, though.” “Yay!” Elise cried. “…Fine!” Dan growled out through clenched teeth. “So… is this what you wanted to show us? This totally awesome occurrence of Pinkie being a real, live, talking pony?!” Elise asked. “Sorta…” Pinkie began. “Now listen here,” Dan began, “you’re here for one reason and one reason only! You need to change Pinkie back to being human!” “Human?” Elise asked. “Why the heck would you want to be changed back to being human?!” Dan and Pinkie raised their eyebrows and exchanged looks, then looked back to Elise. “Seriously?” they asked in unison. Elise paused and looked back and forth between the couple, “Oooooh… riiiight… awkward~!” she sang out. “Oh! Idea! I change Dan into a talking pony.” Pinkie’s eyes shot open wide and her glassy, sky-blue irises quickly gave way to a wild, hungry look, “Love it! Let’s do it!” “No you duffus,” Dan replied, “if we’re both ponies than neither of us can go out and get food!” “Oh… ah… right…” Pinkie said as disappointed waged a brutal campaign across her face. “It’s alright!” Elise insisted. “You two can live with us!” Dan and Pinkie put on worried expressions and exchanges glances, then turned back to Elise. “What, like pets?!” Dan asked. “NO! No, no, no…” Elise replied as she waved her hands in front of her defensively. “And by ‘no’,” Pinkie began, “you mean... ‘yes’?” Elise hung her head, slumped her shoulders and sighed, “Yeah…” “… God, you’re sick,” Dan stated. “HEY! I’m not the one who has a different species for a girlfriend,” Elise retorted, “so back off!” “…Oh that is it! BRING IT, COW!” Dan cried. “ANYTIME, LITTLE MAN!” Elise shouted. The two quickly closed the distance between them as they gritted their teeth and glared at each other with angry eyes. In a pink blur, Pinkie was between the two holding them apart with her forehooves, “Stop, stop, STOP! This isn’t helping!” Dan and Elise both took a few calming breaths and relaxed their muscles. “Sorry, Pinkie…” Elise offered, “… lost my head for a moment there…” “It’s alright, Elise. I forgive you!” Pinkie said happily. “Uh… look… I’ll try to turn you back to a human, just one thing…” “Yes, Elise?” Pinkie asked. “Would be okay if I got to… ride you? For just a little bit?” “Oh…my…GOD, Elise!” Dan cried. “You can’t just ask if you can ride Pinkie, even if she’s a pony now.” Pinkie turned towards her boyfriend, “It’s okay, Dan. It actually sounds fun!” “YES!” Elise exclaimed as she pumped her fist. “WHAT?! YOU’RE GIVING OUT FREE PONY RIDES! I WANT A PONY RIDE!” Dan whined. “NO FAIR, I ASKED FIRST!” Elise cried. “Now Elise,” Pinkie began, “you did, but in all fairness Dan just thought he was being polite, and I think, as my boyfriend, he gets dibs.” “YES! IN YOUR FACE, ELISE!” Dan cried. Elise sighed, crossed her arms, and looked away with a sullen look, “Oh, alright…” “I know something that will make you feel better~!” Pinkie sang. Elise’s face lit up, “Is it pony hugging?! PLEASE SAY IT’S PONY HUGGING!” Dan knitted his brow at Elise, “Alright… you’re actually starting to creep me out at this point…” “Even Better~!” Pinkie said. She trotted towards the bedroom and beckoned Elise to follow. Elise wore an expression of barely restrained giddiness as Dan trudged on with a somewhat irritated expression. Pinkie bounded up to her closet and knocked, “Are you ready, Twilight?” “Ready.” Elise gasped, “OH MY GOSH! THERE’S ANOTHER PONY IN THE CLOSET?!” “Not quite,” Pinkie said. She stood on her hind legs and attempted to slide open the closet as her hooves merely slid off the door, “Ah, Dan… could you…?” “Yeah, yeah…” Dan answered. He walked over as Pinkie stood to the side. “Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ogmygosh…” Elise murmured over and over again. Dan pulled open the sliding closet door revealing Pinkie’s ornate, silver framed mirror, and the smiling purple alicorn contained within. “Hello! Elise, right? I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle, and…” “OH MY GOD! IS THAT A UNICORN WITH WINGS?! AND SHE’S A PRINCESS?!” “Uh…actually, I’m an alicorn, you see I used to be a unicorn but…” Twilight dropped her eyelids slightly, “…are you hyperventilating?” Elise began to rapidly breathe short, shallow breaths as she raised a hand to her face and dug her nails into her cheek. Her pinkie finger hooked into her lips as she pulled her nails downwards, tugging at her face and mouth. Her eyes suddenly shot open wide as her pupils grew to dark pits that swallowed her purple irises. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Elise emitted an unprecedented shriek that would go down in in history as the girliest to ever come out from an adult woman in recorded history. Her eyes rolled back in her head, and shell fell backwards. Passing out with a gigantic, goofy grin on her face. “Uh… is that… normal?” Twilight asked. “Er… Don’t worry Twilight! Elise is actually really, super-dee-duper smart!” Pinkie insisted. “That’s debatable…” Dan muttered. Pinkie shot a glare at her boyfriend and raised a forehoof to her mouth, “Shhhhhh!” “Hey guys,” Chris called out, “was that Elise just…” Chris poked his head into the bedroom, and stared at Pinkie. His eyes slowly drifted towards Twilight, then back up to his head as he collapsed next to his wife. “LOOK HOW USEFUL OUR FRIENDS ARE!” Dan said sarcastically as he motioned out to the unconscious bodies of Chris and Elise. “I’m sure they’ll adjust and get it together…” Pinkie said hopefully. “So… much… yay…” Elise muttered from the ground. Twilight sighed and mentally prepared herself for another long day.