“Y-” The pony coughed and took in several deep breaths. “You!” She said at last, venom dripping from the word. Handy stood there looking at the mare for some time.
’Red… Red… Red… Where do I know a red pony from?’ His mind tried to pin the mare down, she seemed awfully familiar but he couldn’t quite place where he knew her from. Either way she seemed to know him. Which wasn’t surprising honestly. He shook his head and peered closer. The mare’s eyes where bloodshot to complement her extremely worn appearance, gears turned in his head. “Hmmm…” He said. “Nope.” He decided. “Too generic, don’t think I recall thee miss…?”
The pony’s eyes bulged at that, one eye blinking before the other. Twitching. “Y-you… Don’t… Not even after…” The pony slowly walked forward, almost stumbling and pawed weakly at the hem of Handy’s cloak, as if trying to grab it, she looked like she could barely stand. “C-Crimson… S-Shade… You… RUINED IT…!” She said, voice breaking on the last two words as she struggled to stay on her hooves. Handy looked down quizzically at her.
“Erm… Ruined what? I am sorry madam but I do not recall ever meeting thee…” He said, the mare tried to speak, only succeeding in opening and closing her mouth like a stupefied fish and shaking with what could only be frustration. Handy rubbed his forehead, nope, not today, he didn’t feel like dealing with a crazy equine this close to going home to Skymount. He turned to the bamboozled storemare who was clearly trying to understand what this was about. “My apologies noble madam, I shalt remove myself from thy store, I know not what this unsightly disruption is but it appears I am the cause, excuse me.” He said with a quick nod of the head as he walked out of the store.
“H-hey!” Crimson said as she twisted to turn after the human, misplacing a hoof and faceplanting herself, groaning as she got back up. “I’m not… Done with you!”
“But I am more than done with thee, milady Crimson.” Handy said over his shoulder as he turned down the street, something was niggling at the back of his head about the pony, but honestly? Fuck it, he just wanted to go somewhere else to find something else to do. It wasn’t even noon yet so there’s no chance at whiling away the day at the tavern, letting him rest, take a drink and read one of the books he bought.
“I will NOT be denied!” He heard the trot of hooves behind him. “I did not just run to Gethrenia and back just… Just so you can IGNORE me!” She protested. Handy turned his head to regard her over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised.
“What in the nine hells where thee doing going to Gethrenia and back for? Is that why thou art such a mess?” Handy asked, still walking. They were causing ponies to regard them as they passed, which to be fair is something Handy was more than a little used to.
“You!”
“Me?”
“Yes!” She said, groaning with the effort, he heard the mare stumble before regaining her stride, he turned back to face front again, great, so a pony ran to Gethrenia after him… For some reason. “I’ve been following you!”
“Follow-Have thee been stalking me!?” Handy said, turning around.
“It is not stalking!”
“Thou hast followed me across a country and back! One does not do that without cause!” ’Honestly, who stalks a vampire? Hey, see that guy over there, who could turn on us at any minute and drain us of our life blood? Let’s follow him around! Sounds like a good idea, right?’
“I have cause!”
“What possible cause could thee have to follow me around?”
“Because I am bringing you back home with me if it’s the last thing I do!” She shouted, stomping a hoof to the ground for emphasis. Handy just stared, the most stupid look on his face. Several of the ponies in the street paused to regard the situation, Handy sighed, the mare stared at him angrily, as if she did not hear what she just said.
“My apologies, milady Crimson, I am simply not interested right now. Please desist with thy persistence, it shalt not end as you wish it.” He said simply as he turned to walk on.
“What? No! Stop!” She shouted. Handy rubbed his forehead as he went along, turning this way and that hoping the pony would just collapse and leave him in peace. Honestly, what the hell. He heard the flutter of wings and looked up. He saw nothing but he had the sneaking suspicion he knew what it was, the pegasi rarely flew in the skies above the capital city, meaning it was probably a guard. Which meant that he was being tailed. He rolled his eyes, not as if he could call them out on it but damn, couldn’t you ponies be a bit more subtle? The pony was still shouting at him as he walked along, more than once she tried tugging on his cloak to stop him but failing miserably, he sincerely considered just turning around and booting the pony in the face. Except, you know, her being a woman and all. She had grasped the hem of his cloak in her muzzle and planted all four hooves on the ground. He just pulled her along, the pony clearly too weak to prove more than a mere nuisance to him. Physically at least.
“Sh’op! I mhfn ihhf!”
“Juuuust keep walking.”
“Shh’ooop!”
“She’ll let go eventually.” He said under his breath, he heard the tell tale sparks of magic, he looked over his shoulder, the pony was trying to summon magic to aid in overcoming him but clearly could not manage anything. Honestly it was pathetic to look at.
“Is there a problem here?” Handy stopped as he regarded the owner of the voice, he stood before a pair of gold cloaks, royal milita of canterlot. The pair of ponies lacked the helmets of the royal guards of the palace, wearing a gorget of gold and some light mail hauberks over their torsos and necks, their signature gold coloured cloaks covering their backs. Both of them carried short spears with bill hooks. Well, short for humans that was. The stark white, red maned mare with the teal-green eyes had what looked like a wax seal on her gorget with a long inscripted piece of paper fluttering from it on the breeze, Handy interpreted that as meaning she was the more senior of the two.
“Ah yes, officer.” Handy began, the two militia ponies glared up at him. Ohhhh, intimidating, Handy was clearly shaking in his boots! Handy gripped his cloak and pulled, Crimson gasped as it was ripped from her mouth. “I pray your assistance, this mare has been harassing me all morning.” He said, if he couldn’t take care of the little nag himself, he might as well get her in trouble. The young looking stallion looked between the two before turning to the human.
“What did you do to her?” He accused. Racist.
“I didst nothing!”
“Stop lying!” Crimson shouted. Handy turned and glared at her.
“Madam, I have never seen thee before in my life.” He lied, a niggling memory playing at the back of his head.
“Yes you did! How could you forget that night!”
“Night?” The militia mare enquired.
“I have seen a lot of nights, milady, could thee be a tad more specific?”
“Ohohoho you know what I am talking about!” Crimson pointed accusingly at the human, seemingly oblivious to the pair of law enforcers standing right beside them at the street corner.
“Ma’am, I really do not have the time to be dealing with a stalker.”
“Stalker?” The young stallion said, sharing a confused glance with his superior.
“I am not stalking!”
“Then what would thee call it!?”
“Getting back what’s mine!”
“I have nothing of thine!”
“YOU are mine!”
“Wh-what?” The guardpony stuttered, her subordinate snickering.
“Thou hast crossed a country twice in folly! I am not thine! Desist!”
“No! Not when I am this close!”
Handy turned to the goldcloaks. “Pray, please detain this madmare, I refuse to suffer this indignity further.” Handy said, eyeing the rooftops as inconspicuously as he could.
“I… Don’t think this is a matter for the guard…” The guard mare said, the most confused look on her face. Handy glared down at her.
“I knew the guards of Equestria were incompetent but to just ignore harassment? Inconceivable, thou shouldst be ashamed!” He said truthfully before storming off, the guardmare scowled after him.
“H-hey! Get back here!” The red pony shouted as she trotted after him.
The guards looked as they went on before the sergeant let out a breath. “They don’t pay us enough for this.” Her subordinate laughed.
--=--
Red. A fluttering cloak, a kind stallion, the desert’s merciless heat.
’Left’ He thought. Ignoring the pony flinging profanity at him. The crowds grew thin and the streets dirtier and more nondescript.
Red. A hot sun, the gleam of a minotaur’s axe, a bloody mist.
’Right’ He thought again, checking the rooftops, good. It seems he has lost them. He was confident he had lost his tail quite a while ago, but it didn’t hurt to be safe.
Red. A bloody mouth, the gleam of silver, the green of a living thunderstorm.
’This’ll do.’ He said, opening the door to a dingy looking tavern, there was nobody here, the tender was asleep at the counter, dead to the world and not even the shrieking of the pony flailing at his back woke him. He reached behind the counter and lifted a key.
Red. A princess’ study, a tattered cloak in his hands, a golden clasp.
’Now.’ He thought, gritting his teeth in anger. He had walked up the stairs to the rooms above, having dumped a number of bits on the counter next to the head of the sleeping barstallion. He reached the door, number three as it was written on the key. The tavern was deserted, and none of the other keys were taken, he couldn’t ask for a more perfect location.
“Are you even-eep!” He had opened the door and rounded on the exhausted Mare as she crested the last few steps. He grabbed her by the forelegs and hefted her into the room, closing the door with his foot. He clamped his hand over her muzzle and pressed her against the wall.
“You are a God damn idiot.” He hissed, the terrified mare struggled weakly, mewling something, eyes wide with shock and fear. “Look at you! In that state did you think you were in any position to take me on? After what I did on the train? Really?!” He glared into the eyes of the red mare. It had honestly taken him a few minutes to recall where he had seen the mare before and when he did his blood boiled inside of him, this was the witch from the train, the pony from Pawstown.
And here she was, in Canterlot, chasing after him. He supposed it was fortuitous she made the unforgivably stupid mistake of trying to accost him while she was as exhausted as she was. But he couldn’t do anything about it, not there, not on the streets, he had so much he wanted to ask her, especially after the little ‘gift’ Geoffrey had ever so kindly left him in his will by way of him stumbling across it. First things first however, he had to make sure she didn’t scream, so he elected to put the fear of God into the pony.
“You have only a few options that don’t result in you dying horribly.” He warned, baring his teeth, the pony struggled more, her horn flickering with light as she tried to summon the last reserves of her magic. It was clearly not enough. He pressed his left arm harder on her chest, she grunted in pain. He was disgusted with himself, but his anger refused to let go of him. This mare saw fit to attack him with a fucking elemental and an army of ghosts, he wanted to know why, he had to know. The princesses he understood as mistaken as they were, that however? That warranted some investigation. ’Either way, I’m getting fed today.’
The pony whimpered, but he did not soften his expression. “I could just kill you here, and now, for the trouble you caused me after I saved your life in the Badlands, you ungrateful whelp. Or I can throw you to the guards, I am sure Celestia is just dying to find out what Astucieux refers to…” He said, the look in the pony’s eyes told him he had her right where he wanted her. “…Or you can just tell me everything and I’ll let you live. I can even guarantee your safety if you’d like, but first…” He squeezed tighter still, loosening his hand ever so slightly off of her mouth. “Why are you following me?” He hissed.
Crimson took a few sharp breathes, he could tell she was contemplating screaming. He narrowed his eyes in warning and she thought better of it. “I-I… I came to capture you… F-for my m-mistress.” She began, her breathing ragged, exhausted as she was and terrified by the human who had her pinned against the wall, legs dangling in the air beneath her.
“What mistress?” Handy said, glancing about the room. No windows? Good. This tavern looked cheap, good to see it lived up to its first impression. The pony continued to struggle weakly, but the fight was out of her.
“I-I… Can’t say… I don’t know her real name…”
“Then what name do you know her by?”
“J-just… Mistress… It’s all I ever knew her by…”
“Not good enough, you’re disappointing me here.”
“W-wait she l-leads the council!”
“The council? What council?”
“The council of eight…”
“And what does this council do?”
“R-research… Research into lost arts… lost knowledge…”
“And what does this have to do with me?” He said, she squirmed and looked away. “I am talking to you, Crimson, it’s in your best interests to answer me.”
“I-I… I was in charge of a –a project… An experiment, it would have i-increased my mistress’ power… Let her… Let her do what she pleased… Extort the kingdoms…”
“What project?” He demanded.
“W-we’ve been able to pierce the veil… See things… Like looking through heavy fog.” She turned her head over to look at another corner, anywhere but the human’s eyes. “We saw things… Humans like you… Discussing a weapon… they appeared terrified, some were crying.”
“A weapon…” Handy mused. “You saw other humans? Where? How!?” He demanded
“Through scrying! I-its old magic… Ancient, doesn’t always work.”
“And this weapon… What was it?”
“We couldn’t make out everything they said… They just said it was capable of wiping out cities.” She said. Handy blinked. She couldn’t be referring to… “I was the best… At scrying s-she charged me with getting the weapon, to reach through the veil.” Handy felt his blood rising in anger once more, he did not like where this was going. The pony looked down. “I only knew it was a weapon, large, metal and moved at great speed.”
“So I… researched. I prepared a circle. It was costly…” Her eyes seemed to harden for a moment, as if recalling a bitter memory. “But it was ready and I performed the ritual… I pierced the veil, reached with my magic and… I don’t know.”
“You don’t know what?”
“I-I don’t know! It was a confusing, whirlwind of energy! I c-couldn’t see, couldn’t focus, only grasp blindly. There was just too much… Too much, I nearly collapsed from the strain. That’s when I found it.” She said, looking back at Handy. “A metal shape, traveling at great speed, there was a lot of energy in it.” No. “I reached and… Tried to extend my magic…” No way. “I grabbed it… I could feel my magic flooding into it.” The sudden storm on the drive home… “And pulled.” She looked fearfully into his eyes and he merely glared back.
Honestly, Handy did not know what he felt. Angry? Confused? Indignant? Amused? The pony tried to steal a nuke, she apparently concocted a great ritual and went through tremendous effort only to pull him through instead. It’s hard to know what to feel about being mistaken for a nuke, Complimented? Insulted? He honestly did not know. What he did know was that he now had the pony ultimately responsible for everything, his arrival here, his exposure to pain, suffering, madness and vampirism. Every ache, every bruise, every burning moment of impotent fury at the universe, every sting of fear, every curse, every fault and failing since he got here, everything. And here she was, right at his hands, in an empty tavern, in a nameless street, all alone and not a damn thing she could do about it. He should probably just snap her neck on sheer principle alone, he was now certainly angry enough to do it.
Slowly, he gripped the pony’s neck with one hand, moving the other into place at the side of her head. The mare struggled fruitlessly as she saw the hatred burning in his eyes. But he stopped, just as she was losing her breath. He gripped her forelegs and lowered her to the ground. ”You. Have caused me. Quite a lot of trouble.” His voice eerily calm as he admonished Crimson. He squatted down to look the pony at her eye level, she was now breathing quite heavily, her pupils pinpricks. “Why?” He asked, the hair on Crimson’s withers rose as a chill went down her spine.
“W-what? I-I told you! B-because Mistress-”
”Yes, her. Why?” He asked, he could tell the pony was not following him, so he asked again. ”Why did you seek to please her? To summon me to this land by accident.” He placed his hand on her head, forcing her to look him in the eye. She shook.
“… I have… Always served her.” She said, her eyes turned away even though her head could not. “Ever since I was a child, it’s… It’s what I’ve always did…”
”Why?” He pressed. She had gone through rather a lot of trouble to find him again after the train, one would think she’d just go and report back to her mistress about her failure. She did not, perhaps he could use that…
“It’s all I’ve ever known, I research, I help her, I serve her and the council…” Her eyes were darting and he could see her brow furrowing. Evidently this is one question she had not asked herself too often before. “I failed her and could not go back to her empty hoofed…”
”Why?”
“S-she… She would have been disappointed…” She seemed to flinch, her ear flicked. Interesting.
“Disappointed?” Handy allowed his voice to change to one of curiosity, sensing he now had the pony in a position more malleable to his intent. She noticed.
“She… Doesn’t like being disappointed.” She coughed. “I… Tried finding you, although I did not know where you were. What you were at the time… Mistress grew displeased, wasting resources she had said, deciding to move on and not bother looking for you anymore… It’s why she paid the minotaur…”
“Resources?” He asked, she looked down again, studying the floor.
“…Me.” She said after a moment. Suddenly it clicked, always served her, never knowing her name, all she’s ever known in life, feared displeasing her more than dying due to exposure? Little miss sunshine here was a slave. Granted one with a ludicrous amount of power, what do you have to do to someone like that to command such unending fear and respect? Surely she could just as easily bugger off and do her own thing? He’d have to ask her about that… Later. Right now he was going to exploit this.
“And you sought to chase me across a country and back, so that you wouldn’t disappoint her?”
“I… Used a lot of the power she gave me in order to capture you… I wasted it, I wasted so much. She would have been so angry…” She looked to be on the verge of tears. Well, here we go then.
“I have good news for thee then, my dear.” Handy said, the pony looked up slowly. “I will not kill you.” He said, ruffling her mane. She looked confused, then concerned.
“But… I can’t go to the guards…”
“No.” Handy admitted, “You probably don’t want to be at the princesses’ tender mercies” he said. “Seeing as it took four griffon kings to protect me from them, I’d rather doubt you’d fare nearly as well.” She flinched as if she was struck. Ah, the effects little lies can have. “But I can let you go, back to your mistress. Would you like that?” He said the pony shuffled. She moved as if to nod but stopped mid motion, uncertainty in her eyes. “I can offer you a choice, you know.” He added.
Crimson looked up. “It’ll cost you, of course. But not too much, and I swear I’ll never lay a hand on you so long as I live, so help me God, unlike her...” She studied his face, as if trying to find some hint of a trap. His expression was stony and unmoving. “You’ll be safe, and far away from your mistress, far away from Celestia.”
“I… I don’t know…” She said, eyes darting.
“You can always say no. And I’ll walk out this door, right now, and leave you in peace. So you can return to your mistress…” Why not twist the knife some more? He knew he had her. She clenched her teeth, thinking hard.
“W-whats the price?” She asked.
’Excellent.’ He smiled. “A pint is all I ask for, and I’ll forgive you for all the wrongs you have done me and take you under my protection. Is that fair?” He asked, she looked at him quizzically.
“You… You want me to give you a drink?” She said, the expression on her face was priceless.
“Yes.” He said with sincerity. “It’s all I ask, and I’ll give you safe asylum. If that’s too much…”
“N-no!” She said, then caught herself. “I-I mean… If that’s all you… You’re not lying are you?”
“No.”
“You can keep me safe?”
“Yes.”
“…Ok.” She said at length. “I don’t have the bits right now, but I’ll get you a pint, just give me an hour, I might-”
“I’m sorry Crimson, but I was not referring to alcohol.” He said, she looked up.
“But then… What were you…?” She asked. His smile revealed his teeth.
“Something a tad more vital.” She looked at him in utter terror. “I did say it would cost you. This is all I ask in return for everything I offer you. You can always leave.” She just stared at his fangs for a long moment, glancing at the door a number of times. He had long since removed his hand from her head. He did actually mean it, he would let her leave if she chose to. But he had offered her the next best thing to freedom and her choices were… what? A dungeon? Her mistress’ loving care? The streets? She had no life out there. So confident was he that she’d accept that he had not felt the slightest temptation to go back on his word.
“Will it… Hurt?”
“At first.” Handy said. “You’ll probably feel very tired after it.” She looked at the door for a long time. He could afford to be patient, he wasn’t needed anywhere right now. She turned back and looked at him slowly.
“Okay…” she said, shivering. He smiled and steadied her by placing his hands on her shoulders. Slowly, he moved to her neck. Scraping his fangs across her flesh beneath her fur to find the arteries, he froze as the razor sharp tips of his fangs felt the pulse of blood course in the artery beneath them. Crimson eyed him in terror, her heart rate quickening. She eventually locked her eyes on the wall across from her and tried to brace herself as best she could. She placed a hoof against his shoulder to steady herself, her other curling against her chest defensively. The suspense was agonizing, and she briefly wondered if she had made a wise decision.
He hesitated for a few seconds more before he bit down. Crimson jolted in shock and gasped at the sudden, piercing pain, feeling her blood leaving her in short, quick movements as she shuddered. The pain gave way to a… strange feeling, leaving her dizzy, light-headed, and with a pleasant buzz that drowned out the world around her. Everything felt quiet, calm… No, that was not right. She couldn’t find the correct words, but she was no longer aware of the physical world around her. She was drifting away now, slowly consumed in the unfamiliar warmth of the feeling and every care and fear she ever had vanished within it. It wasn’t long until the lack of blood and light-headedness conspired with her exhaustion, however, and she was unconscious before the end of it.
--=--
He felt alive.
He had to force himself not to tear down the steps at blazing speed, the entire world felt like it was made of cardboard and he was a walking ball of fire. He reached the bottom of the steps and could immediately make out the detail of every aspect of the tavern. The unique dents upon the tankard half a room away, the exact number of silken strands making up the spider webs of the rafter above his head, the detail of each hair upon the sleeping bartender’s head.
Blithering incompetent. He had decided to come downstairs and sneak past the resting stallion, it’s not as if he had any trouble with it, the way he was now, he hardly made a sound unless he consciously chose to. His worries and stresses of the past week forgotten in a fog of euphoria and energy while the rest of world stood out so clearly, so intensely. He could hear everything too. He heard the breaths of the resting Crimson in the rooms above, he heard the beating of the stallion’s heart, he heard the movements of the pests and insects that infested the underside of the building, the birds resting upon its roof, the shouting couple next door, the clatter of hooves on nearby streets… It was exhilarating.
It did however, feel different. When he had taken from the Thestral he felt stronger, faster, like he did now, only more so. Now… Now everything just seemed to make sense, like he intrinsically understood the purpose of everything. Sound wasn’t a consequence, it was a choice, to be perceptive is to merely breathe and to know is the natural state of affairs. It was like he could see something and see beyond it, the strands of existence hanging upon the air, the ethereal strings of Heaven which permeated everything. Such strange sights…
He had went to fetch a platter, filled several bowls full of water and taken a number of rolls of bread along with some butter. He figured Crimson was going to need a lot of fluids when she awoke, and she was beyond exhausted even before he got a hold of her, hence the food. So he had decided to leave her with a gift. He returned from the abysmally small kitchen and walked past the stallion. He paused, looking at the grey earth pony. ’He’s already asleep…’ He thought. ’I could always… No. Don’t be greedy, the less the better.’
He continued up to the room and left the platter of water and food on the small wooden table across from the bed. Crimson snored and he scowled at her. He considered the possibility she might go back on the deal he had made with her, he did have the mail gloves he wore under his gauntlets with him, and they were in his pack. The mail would stop her magic if he tied it around her horn. He considered it… Then decided against it. He left the key to the room by the water along with a short note, informing her that he’d drop by later that night to check on her, informing her she’d be better off taking the food and water here and getting some more rest.
He left the tavern noiselessly. Before he came to Canterlot he had come across a mysterious book he could not read and questions he could not answer. Now he had answers and someone who could read the book. It was a most fortunate day, even the little hiccup he had with the Goldcloaks would prove serendipitous. Sure, he had been caught off guard and feared his plan to interrogate Crimson in private would be derailed, thereby deciding to see if he could get her arrested to at least save his own hide. No, instead it resulted in an embarrassing misunderstanding… But one that would throw off all suspicion. While the Equestrian authorities would titter away, he’d steal from them the third party to the Equestrian Express incident right from under their noses.
All in all, a productive Tuesday. Wouldn’t one say?
--=--
Sparks had lost the human.
How in the hell did he lose the human?
He had been careful to tail the human since he left the castle grounds, ordered to stay out of sight so that he wouldn’t suspect anything. So he did, keeping to the rooftops and always observing the human from behind. There were a few close calls when he feared the human may have heard him, but he was sure that the knight had not. He hadn’t worn his armour, fearing the human would hear him if he moved in the metal but kept his cloak affixed tightly about his neck, so that he wouldn’t be stopped and questioned by his comrades.
It had been an interesting series of events to be sure, the human seemed to have just been travelling through the city exploring, stopping at one shop or another until he disappeared within the book store for over an hour. He had taken flight then, just to make sure the human didn’t slip his notice by exiting the store through the back. Thankfully he needn't have bothered, a rather unfortunate looking red pony had entered the store, moments before the human left it with that same pony chasing after him.
It was amusing, the human seemed quite annoyed at the mystery pony and tried to lose her, eventually culminating in being stopped by a pair of Goldcloaks who eventually let them be on their way. The Pegasus had descended to interrogate the young sergeant about what the human and the red pony had been discussing. What he heard was… not much use but he could see why the Goldcloaks didn’t interfere. It was after that he found great difficulty in locating the human again, once or twice he thought he spotted him again but that ended up being a pair of white headed griffons. He cursed himself and scoured the sector of the city he knew the human had to be in.
It had been over half an hour since he last saw the bastard, Luna had charged the goldcloaks specifically to keep an eye on him and the buck rested with him to do just that, he did not want to go back to the captain and tell him ‘Sorry sir, you know that big biped with the stark white cloak you told me to follow? Kiiiiinda lost him.’ He stomped his hoof and snorted in frustration.
“Horseapples!” He swore.
“Language.”
Sparks froze. Turning he came face to face with the Human’s belt at eye level and looked up. The smug bastard had just exited the tobacconist behind them and was currently filling a wooden pipe. “Pray, got a light?” He asked, looking down at the furious Pegasus. How in the hell did he do that? There was no pony in that shop when he landed here five minutes ago, and here he was, walking out of it and he didn’t hear anything. Nothing that big and awkward had any business sneaking up on any pony. Sparks jumped back a step.
“Watch it, human!” He warned, although it was merely tough talk, he left his weapons at the barracks, doesn’t mean he wasn’t confident he could take the human if it came down to it however.
“Oh yes, indeed I have. Good show old boy, I almost didn’t notice thee following me around earlier.” He responded, sucking on the end of the pipe. “Hmm… Probably should go back in and ask if they have any lucifers.” Sparks was indignant.
“You… Arrogant…”
“Yes, quite.” Handy sighed as he emptied the pipe back into his small tobacconist packet, he figured what the hell? He’s broken every other rule he had since he got here, might as well go for broke. “Look, their highnesses trust me about as far as they can throw me, I get that. Just a word of advice, if thou wishes to follow me, don’t use a Pegasus when most in Canterlot don’t fly unless they’re outside the city limits, makes it really obvious you were a guard.” Sparks just stamped his hoof again, thoroughly humiliated by this human.
“The red mare…” Sparks began, “Where is she? What did you do with her?”
“The nuisance who wouldn’t leave me in peace? Lost her.” Handy lied. “Crowds are wonderfully useful for that.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I lost THEE didst I not?” He said, Sparks wanted to say something to that but he couldn’t find the words. The human reached up and tugged the top of his hood by way of a salute.
“Top of the morning to thee,” He said turning around and walking off. “Do me a kindness, if thee see that red mare again, do not point her in my direction, I do so ever desire a peaceful remainder of my day.” Sparks glared at the human as he walked up the street and had to remind himself his mission was to follow and observe, not kick the flank of the smug bastard. Oh how he wished it was however. He took to the air once more and alighted on the rooftops.
--=--
Handy was overjoyed to find his buzz from that little bite was lasting quite a while. He figured he probably burned through his last vampiric high so fast because of the sheer amount of violence he suffered during the fight on the train. Either that or that particular Thestral really doesn’t take enough care to himself, hell if he knew, this was still all new to him.
He took another draft of the coffee as he turned a page. It was sweet, like everything else in Equestria, he didn’t mind, he normally took sugar with his coffee anyway. The caselaw he was currently reading the judgement of was particularly amusing, the judge’s statement emphasised the farcical nature of the crime in question and argued fiercely against his peers that it was a felony and not indeed a misdemeanour. Handy had no idea what a poison joke was but it sounded hilarious if this was the result. Well, hilarious to a certain degree, court humour is not to everyone’s tastes as you normally have to shift through a mountain of dry dribble before you get the golden nuggets of nonsense. Pony law proved no different except in the case of it occurring much more frequently.
He was sitting at a table outside of a busy coffee shop and the ponies were kind enough to give him a wide berth, leaving a noticeable ring of empty tables in the courtyard at the front of the store. And he heard everything. It took him nearly a full hour just to learn how to tune out the ambient noise of the busy street but he still heard a lot. It’s not as if everything was loud per se, it was hard to describe, he could hear a pony whispering thirty feet away as well as he could hear the same pony as if it were sitting beside him talking normally. It added up however and he spent some time just sitting holding his head, willing the noise to quieten down before he killed someone. It was… better now, but he had to keep focusing in order to prevent it overwhelming him.
There a filly bugging her mom to buy her that new bow for her hair, there an old cobbler giving out to his apprentice, there the waitress whispering fearfully to her friend, wagons, carts, carriages, birds, mice, rats, insects, the clash of dishes, running water, the flutter of feathers and the clatter of hooves, so many hooves… He put his cup down and turned the page. Reading helped him focus, in future he was going to be careful when taking from unicorns, this was… Difficult to adjust to.
That’s roughly when he heard it, the confident trot of hooves increasing in volume, drawing closer to him, an arrogant huff, smelled like blue bells, who in the hell washes themselves so they smell like bluebells? “You there.” God. Damnit. Handy kept looking down at his book, the pony couldn’t possibly be referring to him. He noticed more people were walking slower, as if curious. That was never a good thing. “I say, you there, ruffian.” Nope, he can’t possibly be referring to him. “Human!” Sigh.
Handy looked up from his coffee and book. He was now looking at a surprisingly big unicorn. White fur, golden blonde mane immaculately trimmed and styled, one of those stupid faux jacket collars ponies wore around their necks instead of, you know, actual jackets. “Can I be of service, good sir?” Handy asked, polite as he was able. The pony somehow managed to look down at him even though, seated as Handy was, they were eye level.
“Yes, excellent, an appropriate attitude to adopt.” The stallion began. “I just wanted to see for myself the barbarians who so uncouthly caused my enforced absence from the sides of my beloved aunties, I was hoping to find the griffon kings but I suppose a peasant such as yourself would do.”
’Aaaaaand move over Featherbrain, motherfucker here just jacked your spot on the shitlist in five seconds. God damn that has to be a record.’ Handy gave a light smile as he leaned back on the chair. “Is that so?” Handy asked.
Sparks, meanwhile was watching the scene unfold from the rooftop across from the coffee shop, his jaw agape. Prince Blueblood was approaching the human, worse, he was talking to him, the prince’s life was in danger! He had no sense to leave well enough alone and his lack of tact, empathy or general likability was well known throughout Canterlot. And there he was, undoubtedly antagonizing the human, he was going to get himself killed! He had to warn somepony!
…
Well… He did, but he didn’t want to. It would be good to see the prince get what’s coming to him. He waited ten seconds before eventually sighing and taking flight.
--=--
Meanwhile, tea time was delicious. Luna was greatly enjoying the caramel flavour of her cup as she and her sister reclined in the gazebo of the eastern garden. Celestia was absorbed in the book she had recommended her sister as they both took a much needed break from matters of state. Their guards were present of course but generally kept their distance and remained unobtrusive, several of Luna’s Thestrals were on duty. Normally this would be an honour, but guarding the night princess on the increasingly rare occasion she was up during the day time was usually regarded as a punishment, something the princess exploited ruthlessly when guards had failed in some spectacular manner.
As such, Stellar Eclipse and Sergeant Glitter Oak had been on this duty for over a month now. As had Star Shimmer and Sergeant Onyx, Shimmer muttered something about ‘turning diurnal’ if this kept up before quickly getting a hoof to the back of the head by her sergeant. Eclipse preferred to look on the bright side, pun not intended, at least this meant they had the night off. They four of them had taken to playing poker at the ‘Trough after days such as this and Eclipse was eager to fleece her comrades. She had a lot to make up for since that last disastrous hand that resulted in Glitter Oak taking the pot.
It was normally quiet, the Princess didn’t have much to do during day court, even if this week was abnormally busy, for some reason they were not allowed to be in the negotiation rooms with her when the griffons were present. Of course it was obvious as to why, the human was staying in the castle and more than once she found herself following after the creature. It was dangerous and stupid, she knew, but the temptation was… Quite persuasive. She had managed to avoid getting caught, but the human had noticed her on more than one occasion and she had to back off. So now here she was, listening to Glitter Oak blather on about armour itch, a common problem many guards ponies had to deal with but noooo, his was just so much more intolerable and he had to express it. Honestly she wished they were closer to the princess so she could overhear him and give him a reprimand. For her peace if nothing else.
She stood there, tuning out his droning, shifting the weight of the spear in her foreleg, when the goldcloak landed in the garden. “Out of my way, I need to speak to the princesses!” The young Pegasus said. Well that got everpony’s attention. Two of the dawn guards were holding the goldcloak back before Luna’s voice cut across the garden.
“All is well!” The princess said, getting up from her reclining position. Celestia looked up as she left the gazebo. “Let the young militia-stallion through.” She ordered, the day guards backed off and the Goldcloak trotted over and bowed before the princess. Eclipse and the other night guards drew closer to their princess as she approached the Pegasus. Celestia walked up behind her sister. “What doth thee have to report?” Luna beckoned.
“Sister?” Celestia asked, Luna gave her a light smile before turning back to the goldcloak.
“Forgive me, princess, I followed the human as I was ordered.” Sparks said, Celestia raised an eyebrow at her sister, Luna ignored her, she’d explain later. “He has not done anything so far, but I fear he might well do so!” He said.
“And thee didst not think to remain watching him in order to prevent such violence?” Luna demanded, looking sternly down at the stallion.
“F-forgive me, highness! B-but it is who the human may do violence to that required your urgent notification, I informed some nearby guards to watch the situation…”
“Who?” Celestia asked. “Who is the human going to attack?”
“It does not matter! We must act at once, each one of our citizens is precious and we will not allow the filthy human’s foul appendages harm a hair upon their manes!” The last words were emphasised by an increasing use of the royal Canterlot voice as Luna cracked a flagstone with a stomping hoof, the guards winced, particularly the Thestrals with their sensitive hearing.
“Its… Prince Blueblood…” Sparks said, fearing the princess.
There was a pregnant pause as silence fell on the garden, broken only by the chirp of a bluebird flittering between the tree tops. Luna turned to her sister. “Perchance we could… Overlook this one? Just this once?” Celestia looked at her sister.
“Tempting though it is to leave him to his fate, he is our nephew, so we can’t just leave him to the human’s mercy.” She said with a sigh.
“…Why not?” Luna asked. Celestia began to speak, but closed her mouth, thinking hard for a minute.
“Just… Luna, please.” Celstia put a hoof to her forehead. “Soldier, why would the prince be in danger from the human?” She asked.
“Because he’s talking to him.” Sparks answered.
’Yeah, that’d do it.’ Eclipse thought to herself. Celestia seemed to groan internally.
“Alright… And I was so enjoying this little break.” She said at last with a breath.
“Worry not sister, I will take care of this.” Luna said, Celestia looked at her. That was a tempting offer. She really did not want to be anywhere near Blueblood today, forget about the human.
“Are you sure?” Celestia said. Luna nodded firmly and Celestia relaxed. “Thank you, but I want you to take some of my day guards with you however.” Celestia added, Eclipse and the others winced, knowing full well that was directed at them. Luna eyed her guards for a second before assenting to her sister’s suggestion.
“Come!” She shouted. “We hath a villain to stop!”
“The human or Blueblood?” Glitter Oak murmured the question to Onyx, who shrugged. The princess took flight and her night guards with her, along with the four day guards and the goldcloak, leaving Celestia alone in the garden. She looked around, seeing she was alone and smiled, cantering back to the gazebo, she levitated a small hole in the floor open and lifted out a bottle of the icy, secret compartment. She poured the wine for herself and went back to reading the book Luna had given her. Or rather, the terribly trashy, romance, penny dreadful she was actually reading behind the book.
A part of her felt guilty, just a tad, it really should be her taking care of the issue. However, she then reminded herself that Luna had complained about not being able to do much when she had to get up during the day and realised this was a blueblood problem and promptly decided she didn’t give two ponyfeathers as she sipped at her drink.
--=--
’Sixty eight…. Sixty two…’
“-And I could not BELIEVE the hassle I got when the guards refused me access to the palace gardens, really now, ME! Because beasts like you and those dreadfully filthy griffons were there giving my dearest aunties so much unwarranted grief and denying them the privilege of basking their favourite nephew in their attention.”
’Fifty nine… Fifty eight… Gotta hand it to you, you’re ascending the list pretty fast.’ Handy had been sitting there, being talked at by the pony he had since learned was Prince Blueblood, apparently a nephew of the princesses which was currently the only thing preventing him from being reduced to a red smear on the ground. That and the wicked looking spears of the Goldcloaks watching them from across the street. He felt his eye twitch. It’s not that he had not dealt with pretentious nobles before, they were all over the place in Skymount. But even the worst of them, the foppiest of fops, generally had some use to them or some other redeeming qualities even if they did not have a function at court. Even those who had nothing to them other than the fact they were related to some backwater noble could be redeemed, Klipwing for example. This prince however… Handy was having a hard time thinking what the princesses used him for.
’He is a prince, perhaps he’s served in the military? An officer perhaps?’ Handy mused, he looked the prince over. ’No those hooves are far too well maintained, he’s never had to do any face work in his life, nothing about his stance suggests any discipline. Perhaps he’s just a jumped up functionary with delusions of grandeur?’ He thought to himself as the ponce before him droned on about the various terrors and hardships of his life caused by the griffons and, because he happened to be closer at the time, Handy.
“-You cannot comprehend the distress it causes me to be so far removed from my beloved petunias for so long!”
’Forty seven… And the fuck is a petunia?’ Handy was not the best at botany. He twitched, he heard a lot of flapping wings in the distance. ’Pleeeaaassse let that be griffons…’ He begged as he listened on, only one pair of wings was big enough to be taken as a griffon, the rest were noticeably smaller, he sighed. ’Great… Ponies…’ He listened to more of the prince’s complaints, barely ever getting a word in edgewise, not that he’d have anything civil to say to the good prince. ’Perhaps he’s only being kept around until the Princesses can marry him off for a political gain, would explain why they bother to keep him around if he’s always like this. Can’t imagine any prospective heiress would ever be tempted to-‘
He took a sip of his coffee and stopped. It had gone cold and tasted foul, he was going to just keep Blueblood on number forty seven of his list, but his horseshit had cost him a rather enjoyable coffee. ’Congrats, fuckwit, you are now ten places higher on the list.’ His hand shook as he placed the cup back on the table, his rage was now barely contained.
“-I can only imagine what you were like as a child, whatever whore’s son-”
The chair flew back so hard it shattered as it collided with the iron guardrail as the table cracked under the force of the hammer blow. Handy had stood up and drew his hammer so fast the stallion before him barely had time to get another word out before he was shocked into silence. The human was shaking with undisguised rage and his face was an ugly mask of hatred and malice boring into the prince’s soul.
“STOP!” A voice thundered above them, it was Handy’s first experience of the royal Canterlot voice at full volume. The ground shook with the force of the voice as ponies prostrated themselves before their princess and Prince Blueblood fell to his flanks in confusion at the sudden change of circumstances, so lost he was in his self-absorbed rant. Handy didn’t even flinch, glaring murder into Blueblood’s eyes.
There was a thud as the princess landed, magical force exaggerating the impact. Handy was aware of over nine pegasi in the air above him, likely with weapons trained on him, not counting the two goldcloaks on the ground and the five more he could hear galloping down a nearby street. He sniffed, some of those guards were familiar to him, he was certain but he did not look up, so intent was he on murdering this son of a bitch. He had taken a step forward and he saw the now terrified Blueblood squirm backwards.
“A-auntie!”
”Don’t you dare.” Handy warned. ”Don’t you dare try to get out of this. Take responsibility for your words.” His voice was as ice. ”If you cannot speak as a man should then at least die like one.”
“HUMAN, YOU WILL DESIST!” The princess warned, still shouting as she came nearer. The force of the voice was enough to make Handy give pause and consider his footing should he actually bring his hammer down on this wretch’s skull. He did not care for the guards above and around him, he could deal with them, but this one, this one had to die.
“I will do no such thing.” Handy responded, not even looking at the princess in that same calm tone. ”I demand his life in recompense.” He heard more wings, larger ones, approaching in the distance. Several of the guards turned to address the new threat. The goldcloak reinforcements arrived, several of them had long crossbows with large trigger guards, and others had large spear hafts with an odd long bell shape at their tips, with sharp iron protrusions attached to their underside. Almost like bayon-
“W-wait!” The prince backed up, managing to get back to his feet but bumping against the guard rail, trapping him. The princess used her magic to try to restrain Handy, his cloak snapped wildly as blinding light flashed from beneath his jacket. Luna blinked in surprise, Handy glared at her for a moment before turning back to the Stallion.
“Whats going on here!?” A griffon demanded, in the red black and gold of the high king’s colours, Sir Gleamingedge if he recalled correctly. The griffons remained in the air with their swords and halberds drawn, there was now a rather disconcerting number of armed spectators to the drama unfolding on the ground.
“THIS IS NO CONCERN OF THINE!” Luna said. Pointing an accusing hoof at the griffons, the goldcloaks with the ranged weaponry changed the direction of their aim from Handy to the airborne targets. More of the griffons arrived. Including the kings Goldtooth and Thunderstorm alongside their guards. Something was niggling at the back of Handy’s mind, begging him to stop this madness before he does something everyone will regret. He was already too far gone, however.
“Handy!” Oh look, a wild Joachim appeared. Handy didn’t even bother to look up. The prince was whimpering like a foal who scuffed his knee as the human loomed over him, doubtless, as he took another step closer, the guards would already be upon him had they not the griffon’s intervention to worry about. “Handy, whatever he did, it’s not worth it!” The bird tried to reason, he didn’t speak, the arm holding his hammer shook with his sincere desire to brain the pony before him. It raised slightly as he slowly overcame whatever part of him was inhibiting his anger.
A crack of thunder shattered the tension and suddenly a silence befell the courtyard louder than any tempest.