The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442


Part 15 Pinkamena Vs. Dan*: Chapter 147 Pinkie Vs. Wolf-Man

The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 15 Pinkamena Vs. Dan*

Chapter 147 Pinkie Vs. Wolf-Man

-oooooo-

 “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

‘THOM!’

‘THOM!’

Sunset Shimmer sighed heavily as she watched a well-toned bald man in a black outfit run by followed by a large, green tyrannosaurus.

“This night just keeps getting worse and worse…” she muttered.

The beaten and bleeding woman she dragged behind her moaned in response.

“Shut up, Helen!” Sunset snapped as she trudged onward. “No one asked you!” She grumbled to herself, loathing the heavy vibrations of the beast stomping on the ground below, the screams, and the occasional roar that filled the night air.

“Whoa there!” A masculine voice called out. “This is no place for two young ladies to be.”

Sunset glanced up at the screaming man in black being chased by the dinosaur and rolled her eyes. “You don‘t say.” She looked up at the muscular man in a tattered black jacket with his right arm in a cast. “Well, we were just on our way out,” Sunset said.

Sarge pointed his bell at Helen. “Uh… your friend their looks like she’s in immediate need of medical attention.”

Sunset’s eye twitched. “First of all, she’s not my friend. Second of all, I’m working on it.”

Helen slowly rose her head to give Sunset a pained expression. “Cough… cough… Not fast enough... I’d cough… say…”

Sunset turned and glared angrily at Helen. “Sorry that it’s a long walk to my car! You can help, you know!”

“Cough… I really can’t!” Helen replied. “I think I’m dying… So… faster would be good.”

Sarge frowned heavily. “I have to agree with the injured lady there. She’s lost a lot of blood by the looks of things.”

“She still has most of it!” Sunset snapped. “LOOK! All I want to do is load this heap of bleeding boring into my car, drive by the hospital, push her out the door as I speed by the E.R. entrance—”

Helen’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what?”

“—and go home to unwind! Is that so much to ask?”

Sarge gave Sunset a blank look. “I’ll make sure Tyra leaves you two alone.”

Thank you!” Sunset said harshly through gritted teeth as she dragged Helen along.

Helen leaned her head back and tried to catch Sunset Shimmer’s eye as she was dragged along the concrete ground. “Cough… You’re not really going to—”

“Oh, what the shell is going on now?!” Sunset cried.

Helen frowned. “I just don’t want—”

“Not you!” Sunset pointed forward. “THEM!”

“Hey!” a man’s voice called out. “It’s that ice-skating girl that beat up Amber and the waitress Pinkie used to pick on!”

“Oh my god!” Sunset exclaimed as she raised a palm to her face.

Helen gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes. “Pinkie…” she uttered in a tone of absolute contempt.

Sunset sighed heavily. “You are so lucky I don’t just chuck you over the docks into the water…”

Chris, Elise, and Jean all cautiously walked up to Sunset and Helen.

Elise narrowed her eyes at Sunset. “Where’s Pink—”

Sunset turned and pointed down the rows of warehouses. “Second to last warehouse on the right…” She glanced up at the sky. A gentle breeze had almost pushed the clouds out of the way of the full moon. “Probably fighting a werewolf by the time you get there…”

“Oh…” Elise said simply as she and Chris’s put on matching surprised looks. She nodded at Helen. “Pinkie’s handiwork?”

Helen gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes. “Pinkie…”

Sunset glared down at Helen. “STOP THAT!” She looked back up at Elise and nodded. “Yeah, Helen here tried to have a showdown with your pink-haired friend… didn’t work out for her.”

“And you?” Elise asked.

“I got out while the getting was good,” Sunset answered. “I mean… I helped kidnapped the girl’s boyfriend and helped almost blow her up with a TV bomb… I figure we’re about even for the whole ice-skating thing.”

“Huh…” Elise and Chris uttered simultaneously.

“What?!” Sunset cried. “I’m not allowed to make sensible decisions regarding my pupping vendettas?!”

Elise, Chris, and Jean all raised their eyebrows at the word ‘pupping’.

Chris shrugged. “It just seems like its revenge night and everyone’s seeing theirs through until it’s all wrapped up.”

Sunset dropped the arm she was holding.

OW!”

“Yeah?” Sunset cried as she motioned out emphatically with her arms. “Well mine’s pupping wrapped up in a neat little package! There’s a lamb bow on it and everything! It’s already under the tree with the other god lamb Christmas presents!”

Jean frowned. “I was never very good at gift wrapping…”

Chris turned towards Jean. “Yeah… Thank heaven for gift bags, right?”

“Sunset… cough… it’s June…” Helen informed.

Sunset gave a long groan almost as if she was trying to force her soul out of her mouth. She turned towards Elise. “Can I pupping go now? I think everyone here is giving me an aneurysm.”

Elise nodded, then motioned for Chris and Jean to follow her. “Come on…”

“You sure this is a good idea?” Chris asked. “Pinkie’s the only one really equipped for a wolf-man…”

Elise smirked. “I may not have my weapons, but I still have my plastic explosives and enough robot parts to get a detonator working.”

Jean reached into his coat and pulled out a syringe full of neon-green liquid. “And I have this!”

Chris cocked an eyebrow. “Any idea what it does?”

“None whatsoever!” Jean answered in a chipper tone.

Sunset watched the trio ran off, shrugged, and bent down to grab Helen’s arm again.

Cough… You’re not going to warn him… er… Asterisk?”

“He’s supposedly got all this stuff planned out…” Sunset uttered as she stared down the docks and dragged Helen along.

“Yeah but cough… you know there’s a bunch of stuff he didn’t plan for that cough… cough… happened…”

Sunset sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know… He’s really let this whole obsession with those two completely consume him. And for a while I thought I understood it. Shell… I walked right into that pink girl’s work just so I could trash her… but that was like…Oh I don’t know… Just me stewing in my anger for a bit then decided to quickly do something? It didn’t work out, but at least I only lost an evening over it and had a headache and some bruises to deal with.

“But Asterisk, he’s lost months of his life trying to figuring out how to get just this one guy and now his girlfriend. He has his reasons, sure… but I don’t know… He kind of started this whole mess himself? And he could have cut his losses and walked away at basically any point. Yet he still finds himself compelled to spend a fortune and all his time on one guy who I think just wants to live with his girlfriend… Maybe Asterisk needs to have this blow up in his face…”

“Literally?”

“He’s a werewolf… I’m sure he’ll make it out somehow…”

The sound of metal rattling suddenly joined the sound of a body being dragged over concrete.

Owow! Sunset! The ground is covered in hooks and robot parts!”

“I know!” Sunset answered cheerfully. “Good thing I wear boots.”

Ugh… You’re the worst…”

Sunset chuckled to herself and continued dragging Helen through the piles of robot parts. Soon the pair where out of the robot parts and onto a part of the docks that was covered in rust-colored dust.

“Well that’s depressing…” Sunset uttered.

Uhg… What…? Oh…” Helen said, trailing off as her eyes landed right on Fairy Girl’s body.

 Sunset dragged Helen over to where Fairy Girl laid and peered down at the fallen woman.

“Is she… cough…

Sunset nudged Fairy Girl’s body with her boot. “As a doornail…” she replied.

“What about her?” Helen asked as she motioned with her head towards the motionless woman in power armor.

“What about her?” Sunset replied snarkily.

Elise Sr. suddenly broke into a harsh sounding coughing fit.  “Cough… hrrchch… cough…”

Sunset glared down at Helen. “You just had to call attention to her, didn’t you?! Are you trying to drag this whole thing on until you expire of blood loss? ‘Cause if you’re just going to die on me, I’ll just lea—”

Elise Sr. cut off Sunset with another small coughing fit. “Cough… hack… cough… Are you… are you here to finish me off?”

Sunset turned and cocked an eyebrow. “If by that you mean completely ignore you and go home, then yes, I am absolutely going to do that thing I said and not the thing you said.”

Helen shot Sunset a confused look. “… That made like… cough… no sense…”

Sunset glared down at Helen once again. “Seriously! Do you want to get yourself to the hospital?!”

“… I’ll be good.”

Elise Sr. woozily stood to her feet, almost falling back over as the heavy load of power armor threatened to bring her back to the ground. She stared at Fairy Girl. “So… she wasn’t a friend of yours then?”

Sunset shrugged. “Well… she kinda was… or is rather… I mean… I doubt she’s any deader than she was the last time someone quote ‘killed her’ unquote.”

Helen looked up at Sunset. “Cough… What? That’s not how…”

Sunset let out a small “grrr” of frustration.

Helen immediately closed her mouth.

Elise Sr. narrowed her eyes at Fairy Girl’s corpse. “Wait… So, Fairy Girl is like… some sort of clone created by her crime organization decades ago…? And they’re just goin’ to make another one?”

Sunset stared at Elise Sr. and blinked a few times. “… Okay… just… what?”

Elise Sr. opened her mouth to speak, but Sunset quickly raised her hand.

“You know what?” Sunset said. “Yes, let’s go with that… Fairy Girl is a clone and someone is just going to make another one of her.”

Elise Sr. frowned. “Then I’ll have to track down and destroy the lab they keep making her in to keep my number two spot.”

“Yeah, good luck with all that…” Sunset said divisively as she began to drag Helen away. “I need to drop this little idiot off at the hospital now…”

Elise Sr. turned and called out to Sunset as she trudged away, “Say, did you see…”

Sunset turned her head slightly. “Second to last warehouse on the right!” she shouted back.

“Thank you!”

“Whatever…” Sunset uttered.

Helen looked up at Sunset with a concerned expression. “Cough… cough… You’re not really just going to… cough… going to push me out of the car, are you?”

Sunset allowed herself a small smirk. “If you’re good, maybe…”

>-ooo-<

“Can we fight now?” Pinkie whined. “Or do you have any other ridiculously obscure people or things from Dan’s and my past I have to mangle?!”

“You tell him, Pinkie!” Dan cheered from the wall.

“Merow!” Mr. Mumbled mewed excitedly from by the fallen warehouse door.

Dan* smirked at Pinkie. “You know… I figured you’d show up with Chris. I have a little group here that’s dying to meet him again.”

Pinkie let out a groan. “If that’s an attempt at an undead pun, it sucks, you suck, and just bring out the stupid Aztec skeletons or whatever.”

Dan* chuckled and motioned with a hand.

A group of seven bleached white skeletons shambled from the darkness. Their golden jewelry jangled as they brandished weapons of stone and obsidian. They let out low, unearthly moans as they advanced on Pinkie.

Ahhh... That takes me back…” Dan said in a wistful tone as he watched the skeletons march in. “I haven’t seen those guys since the last time I saw a wolf-man…”

 ‘BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrNnnnnnnnNNNnNNNN!’

Dan smiled as bits of bone and pieces of destroyed weapons flew past his face.

“And now they’re gone…” he said.

“Huh…” Dan* uttered with some hint of concern. “I thought that would take you longer…”

Dan turned to his look-alike. “They’re like… magic and undead, moron,” he said. “She has a silver-plated chainsaw! That was like… throwing kindling into a woodchipper…”

“And now I’m going to do the same to you…” Still hunched over her latest kills, Pinkie’s chainsaw idled as the light glinted off the bright silver chain. Without moving her body, she slowly tilted her head revealing a slasher smile she directed at Dan*

Dan* quickly threw his hands up. “Wait! Don’t you want to know why I did it? Why I resorted to kidnapping to kill you both instead of ruining you two?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “You realized after our last encounter that ruining our lives wasn’t going to work. That we had simply built up our own lives to force society to conform to us rather than the alternative, so there was nothing you could do within the binds of society’s laws. This lead to a sort of grim epiphany where you thought you could just operate outside the law much like we had and resort to violence and murder and then you’d finally be rid of us. I mean… come on! It was so obvious.”

“Yeah!” Pinkie cried in agreement as she began to march up with her chainsaw. “I mean, d’uuuuh! Geezy-cheesy! You make it out like that was super hard to figure out, or something!”

“WAIT!” Dan* cried desperately. “If you kill me, you’re no better than me!”

Dan and Pinkie simultaneously raised their eyebrows and shot each other glances. They turned back to Dan*. “Oh, grow up,” they said in unison.

Dan* tossed a look up at window above him and grinned. “I intend to.” Dan*’s muscles suddenly expanded, destroying his shirt and pants legs in the process as thick, brown fur covered his body.
--♫ 
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Oh no! He stalled long enough to transform.
--♫ 
“Shock and alarm.”
--♫ 
Dan*’s mouth grew out from his face, as his teeth extended into points.
--♫ 
Dan chuckled. “Kick his furry butt, Pinkie.”
--♫ 
Pinkie’s eye twitched as she gritted her teeth.
--♫ 
Her lips erupted into a bloodthirsty smile once more.
--♫ 
In a flash, Pinkie placed her sunglasses over her eyes. “Okie-dokie-lokie!” she said as she gripped the chainsaw’s pull handle and gave it a yank.

‘BRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrNnnnnNNNnNNNN!’
--♫ 
Pinkie pushed back on her heel and suddenly she was a blur of pink and silver.
--♫ 
Dan* barely sidestepped in time as silver-coated chainsaw teeth made a shallow cut across his chest.
--♫ 
Pinkie landed on the opposite side of Dan*, then launched herself at him once more.
--♫ 
This time Dan* crouched then swatted an arm upwards. Blood, fur and Pinkie went flying as the arm collided with her, sending her and her chainsaw flying off in different directions.

“PINKIE!” a feminine voice called out.

Pinkie pushed herself off the ground as Elise, Chris, and Jean walked over the broken door into the warehouse. She quickly stood to her feet, her left arm dangling loosely by her side.

“I’m fine!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she grabbed her left arm with her right and pulled it back into place.

“Just really ticked off!” Pinkie reached into her handbag and pulled out her silver-plated chef’s knife.

Dan* let out an inhuman growl as he focused yellow animal eyes on Pinkie.

Pinkie stared right back through her sunglasses, a trickle of blood falling from her lower lip that had begun to swell.

The two combatants charged one another. Pinkie once again turning into pink blur, Dan* turning into a brown one.
--♫ 
‘CRRRUUUNNNCH!’

Pinkie jumped as Dan* drove his massive fist downward into the concrete that broke around it.
--♫ 
Pinkie flipped and extended her knife, catching Dan* in the back.
--♫ 
Dan* howled in pain and turned, swinging an arm wide and catching Pinkie as she hit the ground.
--♫ 
‘THUMP!’

Pinkie flew through the air briefly, then tumbled to the ground before rolling back to her feet in a skidding halt.
--♫ 
“PINKIE!” Elise cried as she held up the red chain-saw.
--♫ 
Pinkie raised an arm as Elise lobbed the Pinkie’s chain saw over to her.
--♫ 
Dan* made a mad dash for Pinkie.
--♫ 
At the last moment, Pinkie leapt straight up as Dan* ran through the spot she had just occupied.
--♫ 
Pinkie landed, chainsaw in hand, starting handle in mouth.
--♫ 
Enraged eyes still fixed on Dan* from behind her sunglasses, Pinkie pulled the chainsaw forward and jerked her head back.
--♫ 
‘BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrNnnnnnnnNNNnNNNN!’
--♫ 
Dan* charged, claws at the ready.
--♫ 
Pinkie sprinted forward, chainsaw held above her.
--♫ 
Dan* swung high as Pinkie suddenly ducked low, slicing her chainsaw through his side.
--♫ 
Dan* howled in pain and turned just as Pinkie brought the blade towards him.
--♫ 
He quickly raised his paws, barely catching the blade and chain with his claws.
--♫ 
Dan*’s claws turned bright orange to the sound of metal bending and an engine whining.  
--♫ 
The chainsaw blade bent and the chain broke sending pieces of metal in all directions.
--♫ 
Pinkie turned her face as metal shards tore through her cheek and sliced into her sunglass lenses.
--♫ 
Dan*’s eyes went wide as the hairy arms in front of him began to shrink and turn peach-colored.
--♫ 
Pinkie discarded her broken sunglasses and glared at Dan as she spit a mouth full of blood and metal out.
--♫ 
Dan* quickly raised a hand and motioned frantically with it.
--♫ 
A small figure suddenly leapt from the shadows, inserting itself in between Dan* and Pinkie.
Pinkie furrowed her brow at the new challenger. “Alright, cut the music!” she exclaimed.

“Music?” Chris uttered. “Wha—”

Pinkie turned towards Dan* and angrily motioned out to what was in front of her.

Something that looked like Dan, if Dan had a much a more toned body, wore shorts, and had the left side of his face replaced with metal and a glowing red eye, glowered menacingly at Pinkie.

“What… the… hell?!” Pinkie cried shrilly.

Despite his massive open wounds that seeped with blood, Dan* grinned at Pinkie. “Yes, I had one more ace up my sleeve. You mad?”

“YES, I MAD!” Pinkie pointed at the Dan android in front of her. “This whole stupid day has been one ridiculous interruption after another! There! I said it!” Pinkie pointed to herself. “ME! Pinkie Pie calling this whole thing ridiculous!”

Dan gave Pinkie a sympathetic look. “Do you want to talk about it?”

NO I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!” Pinkie snapped. “I WANT TO FLY INTO A VIOLENT RAGE AND DESTROY EVERYTHING THAT GETS IN MY WAY! GRRRRRRRRRRR!

Dan nodded. “Well, you know… When I get mad, I… uh… er… do exactly what you just said… So … Have at it… I guess.”

“No wait!” Chris shouted.

Pinkie narrowed her eyes into tiny slits as she turned towards Chris. “Chris, don’t say something stupid.”

“Chris, do what Pinkie says,” Dan added.

“I think… I think I need to fight this robot,” Chris said as he walked up to Pinkie and the Dan android.

“WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?” Pinkie exclaimed angrily.

“Seriously!” Dan chimed in. “She just told you not to say something stupid not more than five seconds before you did!”

The Dan android turned to the person who also wasn’t Dan, but also looked a lot like him. “… Er… Should I be doing something?” it asked in a deep, mechanical voice.

Dan*held up a palm as he held his other arm over his bare, bleeding chest. “No, let them sort this out… It’s just how they do things.” He began to walk over to where Dan was hanging on the wall.

Chris turned towards Dan… the Dan that looked like Dan and was, in fact, Dan. “It’s just that everyone else has had an epic showdown!”

Elise cocked an eyebrow. “I think that includes you… I mean… you took out Magnifico.”

“See!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Wait…” Dan said raising an eyebrow. “You actually took out Magnifico?”

Chris’s face lit up. “I threw my shoes at him!”

“… And that worked?”

“And then I pummeled him into submission! With my fists!” Chris added proudly.

“… Cool!” Dan said with a smile. A smile that quickly returned to a grumpy expression. “But that still counts!”

“It DOES!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It totally, absolutely, completely does!

“But I haven’t shouted at the sky or anything!” Chris whined. “When am I going to face my arch-nemesis?”

“Oh I don’t know,” Pinkie said. “Probably never because I dismembered their bony bodies with a silver-coated chain-saw!”

Chris gave Pinkie a serious look. “I’m sorry Pinkie, but this is just something I have to do…”

“It really isn’t!” Pinkie cried.

Chris balled his hands into fists…

“No! Stop that!” Dan demanded.

…threw his arms into the air…

“You stop that right now!” Dan continued.

…and shouted at the heavens.

“DAAAAAN AAAAAANDROOOOOOOOID!”

Chris

Vs.

Dan Android

--It's been a long time comin'
Dan narrowed his eyes, his hands began to glow red. “Oh that is—”
--♫ 
“ENOUGH ALREADY!” Pinkie screamed.
--♫ 
She shot a death glare up towards the ceiling and reached up with both her hands. To everyone’s amazement, she plucked a massive black ‘V’ with a white outline out of the air and brought it down on the android’s head. She then repeated the motion over and over again sending metal pieces of the android’s face in all directions.

Chris let out an alarmed “Ah!” and moved just as a giant ‘S’ fell to the ground where he was just standing, this was followed by a period that bounced and rolled off into the warehouse.

Dan* watched as his metal trump card collapsed in a twitching heap on the warehouse floor. “What just… what just happened?”

Dan raised an eyebrow. “Which part do you need explained? The part where my reality-warping girlfriend pulled the letter of the day out of thin air, or the part where you’re still not a werewolf and about ten seconds from being stabbed to death?”

Dan*’s eyes went wide as he looked down at his bare arms and then up at the once again cloud-covered moon.  He turned towards Pinkie, who held her head slightly askew as she stared out at him with wide open eyes. He quickly reached into the back pocket of his tattered jeans, pulled out a small red pocketknife, opened the blade and held it up towards Dan’s neck.

“Hey!” Dan protested.

Pinkie took a few steps closer.

Dan* narrowed his eyes and pressed the flat end of the knife against Dan’s neck.

Pinkie stopped and scrunched her brow as she shot Dan* a death glare.

Mr. Mumbles gave a concerned sounding. “Meeeerrooow…” as she bounded up towards Pinkie.

“Seriously?” Dan said. “A pocketknife? That’s your last—”

“SHUT UP!” Dan* exclaimed. “I’m not letting a month’s worth of hard work go to waste just because the weather didn’t cooperate and it turns out this psychotic girl can pull letters out of the sky!” He turned towards Pinkie and grinned smugly. “Dan and I are going to leave on a little trip now. Maybe we’ll try this again next month.”

Elise leveled an index finger at Dan*. “We are not letting you walk out of here with Dan!”

Chris looked at Elise in disbelief.

“What?” Elise said. “I mean… that was the whole point of this.”

“I know,” Chris said. “I’m just surprised to hear those words coming from you.

Elise motioned to Pinkie. “I’m not putting up with that for an entire month!”

Pinkie gritted her teeth angrily as Mr. Mumbles rubbed herself against Pinkie’s leg, letting out the occasionally concerned “mew”.

Jean frowned. “Well, unless my syringe of mystery liquid will help, I’m out of ideas.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened again and turned towards Dan. “‘A’,” she said simply.

Dan paused for a moment then smiled slightly. “You tried that.”

“‘B’,” Pinkie continued.

Dan* looked between Pinkie and Dan suspiciously. “What are you to doing?”

Dan’s smile widened. “I think you’re missing a beekeepers suit and bees.”

Pinkie smiled as she bent down to pick up Mr. Mumbles. “‘C’?”

“Mew?”

Dan’s smile went supernova. “‘C’,” he answered.

Dan* narrowed his eyes. “You two better stop or—”

“MEERRRRROWWWWOWOWOWOOWOWOOOOWWWW!”

“AAAAAAHHHHH!”  Dan* instinctively raised his arms in front of his face as a panicking mass of fur, claws, and teeth was thrown at him. Soon he found himself trying to pry a startled cat off his already injured body.

“MmmerrrrooooweRRORROROOREREOWWWW!”

OW! OW! Get OFF!” Dan* cried as he grabbed Mr. Mumbles by the scruff of her neck and tossed her to the ground.

Mr. Mumbles landed on her feat facing Dan* and gave him an angry “HISSSSSSSSSSS!”

Dan* sneered at the cat and looked up…

“You lose,” Dan said with chuckle.

… right into his own eyes reflected in a silver-plated chef’s knife held by Pinkie. He quickly took note that his own knife was now on the floor.

Pinkie glowered down menacingly at the short man.

Dan* forced a nervous smile as he slowly pulled out a set of keys from a front pocket. “So, I’ll just… uh… unlock your boyfriend’s shackles now…”

Pinkie nodded, but said nothing.

Dan* quickly brought the keys up to Dan’s metal shackles and unlocked one then the other.

There was a glint of metal catching the light, then Dan* felt a sharp pain in his back. “GHA!

He collapsed to the floor, Pinkie’s chef knife lodged in his shoulder.

“PINKIE!” Dan cried excitedly as he wrapped eager arms around the woman in front of him.

“DAN!” Pinkie exclaimed as she too wrapped her arms around Dan.

Dan chuckled as the two pulled apart just enough to look each other in the face. “Did you go all Tarantino for me?”

Pinkie giggled. “I did.”

“That’s my Goofball…” Dan whispered, allowing his lips to brush against Pinkie’s. Pinkie felt a shiver go through her body as Dan leaned down and paced his lips against hers. The couple held each other tightly as they kissed for the first time in what seemed like months, despite less than a day having actually passed.

‘FFFFRRRRREEEEEE!’

Pinkie’s hair suddenly inflated back into its normally unruly curliness.

Uh, Dan?” Jean said. “You’re standing on…”

“He knows…” Chris and Elsie said in unison.

From under Dan’s boots, Dan* groaned in pain.

Dan and Pinkie broke their kiss.

“Ohmygosh, Dan!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Your teeth are crazy clean!”

Dan spit out a bit of blood and a small silver shard into his hand. “Ptooey… Wish I can say the same for you…”

Pinkie giggled. “Yeah… Sorry, I’m all bleedy and stuff from my epic showdown with the wolf-man.”

“Still…. Still here…” Dan* groaned.

Dan smiled wide at Pinkie. “How about, you, me, a bottle of Everclear, and some bandages?”

Pinkie extended the crook of her arm and giggled again. “Sounds like a romantic evening.”

Dan hooked his own arm around Pinkie’s as he stepped off his look-alike. Pinkie bent down and pulled out her knife, causing Dan* to yelp out in pain. Dan and Pinkie made their way back to the group as Mr. Mumbles quickly made her way up to Dan, leaping into his free arm as he extended it.

“So… uh…” Chris uttered. “Are either of you going to finish him off?”

Dan and Pinkie looked back at Dan* then at each other.

Dan shrugged. “Naw.”

“Naw?!” Chris and Elise exclaimed.

“But… but… he tried to kill you!” Chris exclaimed.

Elise nodded. “And Pinkie!”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes slightly. “Dan said, ‘naw’!”

Dan nodded. “Look… if this day has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes you have to stop, assess the situation, and cut your losses…” Dan leaned his head against Pinkie. “OR… you know… recognized you’ve won utterly.”

Pinkie giggled as she leaned her head against Dan’s.

The group all made their way over the fallen door and outside. The first rays of sunlight began to peak over the Los Angeles cityscape, bathing the warehouses in a soft, warm glow.

“Either way,” Dan continued. “Sometimes you just have to let these vendettas go. Eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind, and all that…”

Chris smiled wide as the group made their way out of the warehouse. “Wow, Dan! I’m really surprised to hear this from you! This is a big step for you.”

Dan nodded. “Yep, I’ve certainly learned a valuable life lesson.”

Pinkie smiled. “One that’s sure to have a drastic and marked change on Dan’s personality from here on out.”

The group continued walking, the warehouse they had just exited getting farther and farther away from them.

Elise sighed as she held up a small cylindrical item with a red button on the top. “Then I suppose neither of you will want this detonator to blow up all the C4 I arranged around the warehouse…”

Gimme!” Dan cried as he snatched the detonator and immediately pressed the button.

KEEEEERRRRRSPLOOOOOOOD!’

Pinkie rolled her eyes, smile still on her face. “And then that happened.”

Chris’s jaw hung open. “What happened to all that talk of letting vendettas go?!” he cried as a few chunks of flaming debris fell about the docks.

Dan cocked an eyebrow. “Well, when else am I going to have an opportunity to blow up a guy I really, really hate!?” Dan replied. “Besides! He’s a wolf-man! He’ll live!”

Behind them, the flaming warehouse collapsed in on itself.

“… Probably… ” Dan qualified.

Pinkie giggled. “It’s fine,” she said as she pulled Dan close. “I’m just happy we’re fine and there’s no one left to…”

“STOP RIGHT THERE, DR. JERK AND PARTY HARD!”

“OH CELESTIA FLYING A ROCKETSHIP TO THE MOON, COME ON!” Pinkie cried.

Terri-man descended from the sky above, staring down at Dan and Pinkie through a ‘T’-shaped purple visor on his black helmet. A dark purple cape settled around his black armored body. He leveled a purple-gloved index finger at Dan and Pinkie.  “I’ve come to pass judgment on—”

There was a brief red flash, a loud ‘POW’, and a scream that quickly faded into the distance as Terri-Man flew fast up into the morning sky.

Dan smiled in self-satisfaction as he lowered his fist.

Pinkie grinned wide.

Chris and Elise’s jaws unhinged.

Jean just smiled.

“Did… did Dan just punch a supervillain?” Elise said in disbelief.

Dan grinned. “Into space!”

“Neat!” Jean said.

Chris and Elise stared at Dan, jaws still unhinged.

“Ha…ho…” Chris stuttered.

“HOW?!” Elise cried.

Dan shrugged. “I just got in touch with my inner anger! And because of today, there was a lot of it.”

Pinkie grinned wide. “Isn’t that awesome-o-possum! Dan figured out how to use his superpowers!”

“I’m scared,” Chris announced.

“Me too,” Elise replied.

“Hold me?” Chris asked turning to his wife.

“Only if you hold me back,” Elise answered.

Ugh…”

The group looked up as a woman in power armor slowly trudged forward.

Elise nodded. “Hey, Mom.”

“Mom?” Dan asked as he stared at the woman in power armor.

Pinkie smiled. “It’s not important.”

“Oh, fair enough,” Dan replied.

“Hello, Junior…” She paused. “Wait…” Elise Sr. said, her mouth turning to a frown. “I’m alive and you’re not even the least bit relieved?”

Elise shrugged. “Still pretty ticked off at you for the attempted murder of my husband…”

“He might have lived!” Elise Sr. cried. “He could have rationed the bacon!”

Chris narrowed his eyes. “No I couldn’t.”

Elise Sr. sighed. “No, you couldn’t…”

Elise continued, “I probably would have been a bit sad if you died, but… Well, here we are.”

Elise Sr. shook her head. “I suppose it’ll have to do… Can I get a ride? My suit’s all fried.”

“No way!” Dan cried. “The backseat of Chris’s car is reserved for smoochies and snuggles until Pinkie, Mr. Mumbles, and I get home.”

“Meow!” Mr. Mumbles mewed in agreement from Dan’s shoulder.

Jean frowned. “Wait… How am I getting home?”

‘THOM!’

‘THOM!’

“Perhaps I can be of assistance!”

The group looked up at Sarge, who sat atop a tyrannosaurs-rex and smiled at the group.

“Tyra!” Dan said excitedly. “Long time no see! Come ‘er! Give Dan a kiss.”

Tyra wagged her tail excitedly, panting as her tongue hung out.

Pinkie let out a long sigh and pulled Dan’s arm. “We’re going to the car.”

“But—”

Pinkie suddenly turned, placing her hands on either side of Dan’s face, and her lips against his. Dan’s momentary surprise soon gave way to hums of contentment as Pinkie kissed him deeply and passionately.

Pinkie broke this kiss and leaned her forehead against Dan’s. “Do you want kisses from a big gross T-Rex mouth, or kisses from my slightly less gross mouth?”

Dan smiled as a wiped a bit of blood off his lips. “Let’s wash out the tiny bits of silver and chain still in there, then we’ll talk…” He reached his other hand up to one of Pinkie’s and interlaced his fingers with it.

As the group behind them broke into arguments about rides home, past transgressions involving holes in the ground and plates of bacon, and a syringe full of some liquid that maybe or maybe should not be injected into the dinosaur present, Pinkie and Dan strolled down the line of warehouses hand in hand, cat on shoulder.