Chapter 13 - An interview at Twilight
“May I sit, Highness?” He had asked, Twilight looked at him, confused for a moment, she had already taken a seat while Handy merely stood behind the chair across the table from her.
“Of course!” She said giggling. “You don’t need to ask me for permission for that.”
“Ah, but I do, for I am a guest here.” He retorted, adapting a rather peculiar alteration to his usual airs. He’d need to, in order to give the impression he wanted to. He pulled back the seat and sat carefully down. “I hope thou wilst not mind, Highness.” He continued pulling out a small wooden container with red markings on it. “I have been prescribed medication which I need to take periodically, whouldst thou mind much…”
“Go ahead, also you don’t have to be so formal around me.” She said, levitating several books and scrolls from a pack in the corner. The four solar guards in the room shifted uncomfortably.
’Oh, you assholes only THINK you’re uncomfortable now…’ Handy had thought, smiling. “I am afraid it is a most unfortunate force of habit, milady Twilight. Mother would be most disapproving if I treated you with anything less then the uptmost respect.”
“So you DO have a mother!” She said scribbling furiously on a levitated piece of scroll. “I guess we can put the theory you are the spawn of the shadow of a murdered phoenix’s ashes to bed.” Handy nearly stalled.
'Hot damn. Pony grapevine, don't ever change.' He undid the cap of his little relief capsule. He didn’t need it just yet, but what the hell? Handy was feeling theatrical. ”Do we not all have our origins?” Handy mused
“Hm? Oh yes yes, terribly sorry this is just so exciting, I forget myself,”
“It is quite alright, I know I have been a most… Unusual sight for most ponies.”
“You are, but its wrong for ponies to just assume without knowing anything about a pony, why I have a friend named Zecora who could tell you all about her experience with prejudice.”
“It is a rather unsightly instinct in most people.”
“Correct, now are you alright to begin?”
“Yes of course…” Handy turned his head to the open window. “Would milady mind terribly if thou had the guards close the curtains over, just a tad?”
“Does the light bother you?”
“No, but it has a most interesting effect.”
“Oh, can I see?”
“…If milady insists, I must warn thee to shield thine eyes however.” Handy reached out with his gauntlet until it hit a beam of light from the setting sun. It shone gloriously, filling the room with light. The solar guards had flinched and he saw Twilight shield her eyes with a wing. He withdrew his hand. “It is why I wear this great cloak. It is more out of courtesy, not custom, so that I do not blind my fellows in the course of my duties.” He added, the guards glared death at him, but Twilight lit up, like a kid opening a Christmas present only to notice there was another present within the toy she had always wanted. One of the guard ponies wordlessly pulled the curtain over, clearly he wanted to close it completely but had to consider his princess so he left it so that only Handy’s side of the table was covered in complete darkness.
“What magic is that?”
“A dedicated Mare’s touch.” He replied. “I know not how she made it so, but I respect the secrets of her trade.”
“A mare? A pony made your armour?”
“Indeed.”
“Who?”
“That’d be telling.” Handy said. “I respect her privacy.” He respected Heat Source immensely. She’d probably greatly appreciate him advertising her skill here before royalty, but he had to consider the fact he enjoyed the unusual qualities of his armour too much too share. Plus, if he was honest, he didn’t want the news of how it was made spread around, you know, just in case Heat Source gets killed because he has to go fight Thor or something. Twilight seemed disappointed. Handy took down his hood, moving slowly, the guards looked jumpy, and took off his helmet, placing it on the table, just off to the side.
“Ahah! So your eyes don’t glow like burning coals.”
’Never change, grapevine, never change.’ He smiled gently, keeping his little friends hidden behind his lips. “My eyes are the same grey-blue they’ve always been milady, I assure thee of that.” Twilight was scribbling away furiously at her notes, occasionally looking back up at Handy’s face before returning to her scribbling. Handy tried not to frown, but his smile decreased anyway. ’You know, I wasn’t serious about taking my picture so it would last longer, what are you doing? Taking a sketch?’
“Ok, now, first of all: Where do you come from?”
“Milesia, a High Kingdom bordering a great western sea.” He replied.
“I’ve never heard of it, where is it?”
“Far to the west… Mayhaps to the far east depending on where thee choose to start traveling from. I only know that it is so far that Equestria and its wonders are unheard of, and its inhabitants merely myth.” More furious scribbling.
“Huh, from what you’re telling me, it seems there may be entire countries we have never heard of.”
“Continents. Our farthest neighbours that we knew of, Mythic Cathy and the fractious Isles of Nippon, were entirely dominated by humans. I am a very long way from home, milady.”
“That… doesn’t seem possible, I thought the world had been circumnavigated…”
”So did we.” Handy said, his tone sad, eliciting Twilight’s interest. “We knew there were great unexplored continents across the sea of Atlantis and the Ring of Peace, but we thought there were but two, mayhap I have arrived there, or mayhap I have travelled further to lands yet unknown, for surely as I have been here, no one has heard of my kind.” He looked back up at Twilight’s curious eyes. “Pray, milady, if thou wouldst ever hear word of other humans, I would be most grateful for anything thou couldst inform me of them. It would bring me mighty joy speaking to someone who is kin.” He said, looking into her eyes. She was taken aback, surprised at the sudden plea.
“I uh… Of course.” She said. Handy smiled warmly.
‘Excellent.’ “My sincerest thanks. Please go ahead, I shall withhold nothing.” ’Except everything.’
“Well, there is so much to ask, I don’t know where to begin, ok first off…” Twilight rambled off a number of questions, generally pertaining to the human animal, the differences between males and females, why we are structured the way we are, how we can be predators despite not seeming to have strong jaws for crushing bones and other such things. Handy was as tactful as he could possibly be, particularly when dealing with the issue of meat consumption, he saw Twilight seem to visibly sicken when she asked the question.
“Well, we are by far not the strongest creatures, nor are we the most physically adapt at the usual… Rigours a predator pertakes in during predation. Our advantage is in the actual structure of our forms and how we use it, but that is merely machinery compared to our real strength.”
“Which… Is?”
“The human mind.” Handy answered, Twilight blinked before smiling nervously, as if trying not to laugh at a joke he was not party to.
“Uhh… If you’re referring to sapience, there’s lots of creatures who have that.”
“Oh, so I have come to discover, but I was not referring merely to sapience. Allow me to explain in the simplest terms I can.” Handy said, tapping his chin. “Ancient humans, primitive, barely begun to use tools, so many ages ago as to be uncounted.” He fudged the dates a bit for dramatic effect. “We learned how they hunted, our ancestors, from the study of ancient records and bones to the practices of still primitive and isolated humans, we had a most unusual method of predation, one that ensured our survival despite its oddity.”
“And… What method was that?”
“Walking.”
“…Walking?”
“Walking. Tell me, milady Twilight, how far can an average pony run at a gallop before she is exhausted and needs to take a rest? Perhaps stop to eat?”
“Uh, well, given a few exceptions, we can gallop for a good few miles before we need to stop, I think the average is five to six.” She responded. Handy nodded.
“A human can walk all day and night should he choose without needing to stop.”
“I don’t see how…”
“A human can walk perhaps a hundred miles a day if he goes at a leisurely pace, so long as he had good cause. Without stopping. Double that if he were in good shape, running and carried food with him, which our ancient ancestors often did as part of wise practice. We tired out our prey by chasing them, then following their trail, coming upon them while they were resting and forcing them to flee again, always fleeing us, never escaping. Our prey would eventually injure itself, or simply give out from exhaustion and then fall to us. It got so much easier when we discovered the usefulness of tools you understand.” He said. The room was silent and he could feel the tension and unease of the guards. “Perhaps, now, thou have an inkling of why I said our greatest strength was the human mind. When we seek to do something, it is done, come hell or high water, determination is the bedrock of our entire being. But let us turn away from unsightly discussions, mayhaps thee have other questions?”
“I uh… Yes. Right. Ahem, I had noticed something odd. About the way you speak?” She asked. Handy’s brow furrowed.
“I apologise for my mannerisms, I am aware it is considered old fashioned in these lands, much to my disappointment.”
“Its not that. Its just, why do you say one?”
“One?”
“Someone, instead of somepony, or anyone instead of anypony, I know the griffons say everygriffon as well, you’re a human, why do you say one? It seems so impersonal.” She asked. Well shit, ok that stumped him for a minute. Honestly, he thought it was odd how all these fantasy creatures referred to eachother as their species name instead of 'one', but never thought about why he found that odd. He looked down, studying the open container in his hand, swirling it slightly before taking a sip. Disappointing, alas, he had a lady to answer. He thought for another minute before finally turning back to her.
“Because you are an other.” He said at last.
“An other.”
“Yes.”
“You see me as… Something alien?”
“No.” Handy said.
“But then how can you say that I am an other.”
“You misinterpret, I meant an other as in another. A self, apart from mine own, a reflection of God in whose image is all reason.” He explained, Twilight raised a quizzical eyebrow. “The self is all that one can truly, utterly, intrinsically and indisputably know for absolutely sure because it is the self, it is all that one truly is and one cannot know perspective outside of the self and from that same perspective all things are alien. Singular, irreplaceable and eternal in the audacity of its existence in the face of a world of immutable decay and decline which is all we have ever come to know for certain as the only observable a priori truth of the physical realm. One, and only, inestimably precious and unrepeatable.”
“Self recognises another self, it is an unconscious, instinctual reaction in all mankind when he is confronted with another reasonable creature, he does not call it merely another human, he calls it one, alike himself which he knows at the core of his being to be true but he knows not the why of it. He sees in the spark of creation that lingers in the darkness of another’s eyes, that reflection of God, though he can never truly know the other consciously, he knows it is another, unique, precious, irreplaceable. It leads to a lot of reactions and interactions, depending on the enlightenment and ignorance of a given human, but perhaps this may explain why I refer to everyone as everyone instead of everypony.”
“And when we are amongst our own kind,” He continued. “It is certainly why we do not refer to ourselves as everyhuman, as just the physical animal we happen to be, although the definition of humanity plays a central role in our philosophies and theology, within physical temples we are sovereign souls in communion, not communal souls in isolation.” He took another sip. “Hence, milady Twilight, I do not refer to you as just anypony, but as a one. A self, unique and separate from me.”
The reaction on Twilight’s face was priceless. Honestly it was a two bit philosophy rehash he recycled from a half remembered, but rather excellent theology podcast he had listened to one evening while in University, but it seemed to answer her question as her brain slowly reset itself. Evidently she had not expected any kind of philosophical motivation behind the human’s actions, least of all such depth behind something as simple as basic grammar.
Aaaaand there she went, scribbling furiously on her pages, now levitating several pages and quills. Ok, that was some impressive multitasking. She took some time, so Handy’s gaze wandered around the room. It was oval shaped yet had four definable corners with Greek columns adorned with stylised roses and vine carvings spiralling around their surfaces. The floor was strewn with plush pillows of varying sizes and several book cases stood with glass frames. The soft, gold trimmed purple carpet complimented the sky blue walls well.
“Uhmm…” She began, Handy turned back to her. “I’ve been meaning to ask… About the Griffon kingdom…” Ah, here we go, he almost forgot this might be brought up.
“Go ahead, milady.” Handy assented.
“Right, well… About the king and… His father and all that…” She bit her lower lip and looked away, as if she wasn’t sure if she wanted to ask this question. Handy eyed her curiously before answering.
“If thou hast heard that I am the one responsible for King Johan’s ascension to the throne then you art correct.” He said simply, Twilight reeled.
“Wh-what!?” She cried, the guards stood to attention suddenly. Handy rolled his eyes.
“Ok, what forth rumours hast thou heard?” He asked plainly, catching her off guard.
“Y-you…” She began, “You killed the king… And the crown prince, insuring Johan became king…”
“Why on this earth would I do such foul deeds?” He asked, eyebrow cocked. Twilight shuffled nervously.
“Uhhhh…” She rubbed her shoulder. “There’s been a lot of speculation… Money… Power… A plot by the changelings…” Handy laughed, Twilight looked at him in surprise.
“Oh no… It is much simpler than that.” He said. “I am Godsworn to Johan’s service, or at least I was. Now I am merely his knight in reward for it.” He said, Twilight tilted her head.
“Godsworn?”
“I swore to God I would serve him willingly for a full month if I broke a promise. Which I did and thus fell into his servitude lest I blaspheme my God.”
“What was the promise?”
“Ah, perhaps I’ll tell thee that in a bit, tis a bit personal…”
“Oh… Well alright. Then… Did you… You know…”
“No I did not kill King Gerhart, nor Prince Geoffrey.” He said. “Tell me, what dost thou know of the rule of Gethrenia under Geoffrey’s regency?” He asked. She shook her head.
“Not much.” She admitted.
“Look into it some time. In either case, Gerhart was alive when we had arrived, but he was not well, having fallen ill several months ago, the honourable king was on his deathbed. He had urged Johan to press the right of retrieval, an archaic tradition in the griffon kingdom for a claimant who lost the Right of Arms to defend his claim from another claimant, the chance to regain it, with the approval of the king of course.” Handy said, Twilight began writing more notes.
“Geoffrey had enlisted the help of the great knight Shortbeak to fight for him in his stead, she had beaten Johan previously, as Johan’s Godsworn I stood in his place. And to make an uninteresting story short, I had won and Johan became heir to Gethrenia and clan Blackwing again.” He continued. “Not long after that, his majesty passed away from this world and Geoffrey, in grief or in some mad fit, threw himself from the battlements.”
“But…” Twilight began, the last few sentences obviously rocked her. “Griffons can fly…”
“Which makes it all the more telling he didn’t make use of his wings.” He had said sadly. Obviously the rumours would persist as they always would that Geoffrey was murdered, even if the official story was out the door long before anyone but the initial two guards who found the body could start leaking any details. Handy didn’t care, he had his ass covered well enough. Twilight returned to her notes after a pregnant pause, the sounds of quill scratching against paper filling the silent room.
Outside he saw the tell tale flash of gold against the dying light, clearly some pegasi were awaiting just outside the window, some diligent guard having spread the word where he was and who he was with. He wouldn’t do anything of course, well, that wasn’t entirely true, but he certainly wouldn’t hurt her. If he did there was nowhere he could flee to.
And that gave him an idea.
“It seems thy mother greatly cares about your safety…” He mused, Twilight looked up.
“What? My mother?” She asked, utterly confused, Handy looked at her.
“Oh,” He began, picking up on her incredulous tone, damage control Handy! “Perhaps I assume in err, I know Equestria is a diarchy so I was not surprised to see Sorcha and Ciara upon the dias, but I had heard nought about thee milady, despite your rank, so I assumed…” He trailed off, comprehension dawning on twilight’s face, she giggled with a hoof to her muzzle.
“Oh no, Celestia was my mentor and helped raise me, but she is not my mother!”
“Ah, my apologies, I am still learning about this land, as you can tell. I was merely remarking upon the close eye she is keeping over thee even here at the heart of her fortress and her power.”
“How do you mean?” She asked, Handy blinked at her several times.
“Why, I mean even in your private conversations you are surrounded by the guards of this realm, as if you were in immediate danger.” He said. “Here at the very heart of the castle, why I am willing to bet there is a quartet of guards outside this very room, ears pressed against the door easedropping.” As if on cue, hurried hoofsteps and a few barely audible muttered curses and accusations emerged from the closed door. Twilight looked at the door in surprise and her eyes narrowed. Handy fought very hard not to smile. ’Fucking called it.’
She looked around at the guards in the room who shifted uncomfortably in her gaze. She frowned. “Alright, you guys can leave us.”
“But-!” A guard started, staring hard at the human. “Princess, we can’t just leave you with him”
“It’ll be fine, I’m sure.” She smiled.
“But-”
“No buts, it is unfair to conduct an interview while the subject is under duress.” She said. Handy twitched, not liking being referred to as a subject. “Sides he’s been a perfect gentlepony, I am in no danger.”
’That’s it…’ Handy thought. ’Right into my hands…’
The guards looked between Handy and the princess before, reluctantly complying. They each in turn glared daggers at him as they left. “And no eavesdropping!” Twilight warned, closing the door with her magic, it glowed brightly for a moment with a spell to prevent sound escaping. Handy made a show of visibly relaxing.
“My sincerest thanks once again, milady, thou art quite kind as thou art insightful.” He said, smiling all the while. Twilight shifted in her seat.
“Ah, aha, right, you’re… welcome!” She said, unsure of how to react. He saw her tap her hoof on the edge of her seat. “But I don’t… Think I’m all that, great.”
“Thou dost not? A pity. For no one else has thought to take their time to ask me all that you have, to try to understand me, I am most impressed, Highness.” She seemed flustered at that and took to studying the contours of the table between them. After a moment, her face then screwed up before turning back to Handy. “Sorsha and Cayra?” She asked. “Do you mean Celestia and Luna?” She asked. Handy nodded.
“I do, much like I know my king Johan as Joachim, I refer to Celestia as Sorcha and Luna as Ciara. It is a habit of mine to give a name to people I come to meet.”
“Oookaaaay…” Twilight said, writing down another note, “But why did you call them by those names?”
“It seemed to fit.” He said, taking another sip of his medicine. “Celestia is bright, luminescent and serene, well so long as we ignore dinner of course.” He chuckled slightly, pleased to see she was chuckling as well. “So I call her Sorcha, meaning Radiant One, I found it fits. Luna is serious, yet composed, seemingly withdrawn but that may be another assumption in err, her hair appears as the night, so I refer to her as Ciara, the Little Dark One. It is not meant to be taken badly despite how it sounds, many are the lasses in Milesia called Ciara for their dark hair, I find it suits her severe personality.” She said, Twilight took down some more notes.
“So what does your name mean?” She asked, still writing.
“It means useful or convenient, its what I call myself.” He said honestly. She looked up.
“Its what you call yourself?” She asked, Handy nodded once more. She tapped the quill thoughtfully against her chin. “Then… What’s the name you were born with?” She asked. Handy tapped his nose and smiled.
“That would be telling, milady. I do rather keep some secrets to myself if you would ever be so kind as to resist prying.” He answered, she seemed disappointed and continued her notes. After a few seconds more of furious scribbling she stopped and looked hard at her page for a moment.
“So… Do you have a name for me?” She asked. Handy looked at her, deliberately being silent for a few seconds. He had been preparing for this ever since he came up with those names for the princesses on the spot.
“Aine.” He answered. She seemed to mouth the word, its pronunciation unfamiliar.
“What… What does it mean?”
“Brilliance.” He said simply. Twilight’s face seemed to flush as her ears flattened on her head. She coughed and quickly diverted the conversation back to another topic. Ah, socially awkward, naïve and innocent, no wonder assholes back home enjoyed this so much, he almost felt bad. Almost. Twilight had enquired about Milesia at last and Handy went on at length about a rather… romanticized version of Irish history, starting with tragic fate of High King Brian Boru and working backwards, to the arrival of the Christ God to their isle and the banishment of the fae and the old gods, back to the war with the Fomorians, the older gods, and the arrival of Milesius the conqueror and his armies, of which he was a descendant. An entirely fictional character based on a historic tribal chief of unknown identity who decided to invade Ireland from Spain with a rampaging tribe of celts for shits and giggles, but she didn’t need to know that. After he was done butchering history and myth about his homeland he talked about the surrounding lands.
Artorius Pendragon and his noble knights of the round table, Cymru and its secret dragon heart, the Old North and its conquest by Dal RIada, the Old Road and the Peninsula of the Exiles. The fallen empire of Carolus the Great, broken among his bickering heirs and the tragic legend of Don Quixote. Once he was done mutilating actual history with fiction and myth… He got creative. Twilight could barely keep up, but he could tell she wanted very desperately to ask something.
“Yes?” He probed. Twilight tapped her page several times. She was creating a steady pile of them and they had been here several hours by this point.
“You mentioned humans have no magic.”
“That is correct.” He said.
“But you mention in your histories numerous cases of magical artefacts, rituals and creatures…” She said. Here it was, the clincher, this was how he was hoping to sidle into his endgame. Now, you may have realised by now that Handy is something of a raging dick, if you haven’t then you weren’t paying enough attention, which is understandable, his suffering is amusing afterall.
“Ah yes. That.” He corrected himself. “Allow me to further illuminate you, milady.” He said, “The truth is, we used to have magic. Of a sorts.” He said, taking a sip of his medicine, he had been careful not to use it all, he still needed some of it for a part of his closing act. She paid rapt attention. “You see, humans can’t use magic naturally, not like ponies can. Indeed, in our land magic does not reside in the very air we breath like it does here.” He said, she went wide eyed.
“But that’s impossible! Magic is everywhere! It’s part of what makes the world work!”
“Then perhaps, our land really is truly accursed if it is as thou say, I am afraid thou wouldst know more about it then I, I am merely recounting what it is like.” He looked down sadly and Twilight looked like she was taking herself to task for a perceived faux pas. Good. “I’d worry not, as a wise human once wrote, there is more in Heaven and Earth then is dreamt of in your philosophy, who knows what is really possible or how the world ultimately works? We humans thought we knew how the world works on a number of occasions, only to be proved wrong again and again, it is a humbling yet inspiring thing. However, back to the matter at hand, in truth humans used magic by making… deals.” He said, she looked up.
“Deals?”
“Yes, with unsavoury things, spirits most times. Usually evil ones. Sometimes a human will get lucky and gain powerful arcane secrets and artefacts that grant him power. These witches and sorcerers were reviled, even as they used their powers to gain influence and the trust of kings, competing with priests wielding powers granted by the divine… Provided they were not acting profane and passing off their ill-gotten power as divine. Sometimes it worked, most times people could tell the difference, and that is not counting the numerous charlatans and tricksters of history who managed to fake it to fortune and fame.” He continued.
“For my peoples’ part, we turned to the Christ God and abandoned the old gods and their cruelties. We rejected their priests and threw out the mages and their wicked sorceries, we warred with the fae creatures who had magic and access to their realms of wonder that they guarded jealously when they were not enslaving human children. We drove them out of our fields, forests hills and rivers and into the underworld.”
“But… Magic isn’t… Evil…” She protested weakly, looking despondent. Handy rescued her.
“So I have learned.” He smiled warmly. “But consider it from our perspective, what we knew of as magic was either farcicality, blasphemy or tyranny at the behest of cruel, jealous creatures and manipulative spirits, how could we view it any different? It was rare and dangerous.” He took one more sip, eyed his wooden cup idly before continuing. “But this was all ages ago, so long ago it is all considered as myth and legend, indeed, fanciful and false. It was what I thought before coming here, I had considered it a Truth that magic was false, it took me a long time to get around that.”
“Why?”
“Tell me, milady, what is it ponies value most?” He asked seriously.
“Well, Harmony!” She answered, “Peace, friendship, love and tolerance.”
“Humans do not.” He said quickly. She gasped. “Oh no, do not get me wrong, we humans love these things too, but they are not the highest values in our hearts.” He said.
“Then… what is?”
“Truth.” He continued. “Truth is what we seek, ultimately all our questions come down to this: What is true?” He said as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “For Truth humans have built nations and sundered empires, for Truth we have committed foul and terrible acts to the greatest heroism, for our Truth we have warred against each other, such is our desire for it, such is our reverence for Truth. Indeed, it is for Truth that we willingly put aside the plow and pick up the sword in anger, for whatever we believe that Truth to be. It is no exaggeration that we often equate Truth with God or whatever a human might worship, for most of us the concepts are one and the same.”
“Hold on!” Twilight tried to argue. “Nopony can claim objectively what is true, how can you believe in truth when it is relative.”
“Because it isn’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because first of all, that proposition is philosophical nonsense and self-defeating, if it is True that Truth is relative then it is not Truth. Therefore what are we left with? Even this Truth of relative Truth is a source of conflict for my people, hasn’t resulted in a war… Yet. It does not change the fact that it is what my people ultimately desire, when they care to rise out of the wallowing hopelessness that is our lives at least.”
“Hopelessness…?”
“Oh yes, there is nothing more wretched then a human without hope, he is slothful, uncaring and indolent. It is what the majority of humans are these days.”
“Why?”
“Because peace reigns.” He said, she just looked at him confusedly. “Our species… Got too ambitious. We reached too high.” He said at length. “We crafted a weapon… From a spark of the anvil of God we forged the Sword of Damocles. A weapon so powerful that it has only struck two human cities in our history… And blasted them from the face of the earth. A weapon so fierce and terrible that many of the great empires sought dominion over its use and for a century we held our breath in terror of children warring with the tools of giants.”
“Eventually, while we slept in fear, our world changed, our lands are ruled from the shadows now, our kings uncaring and callous and often changing without fear of consequence for their actions, our peoples divided and pitted against our own brothers within the same borders for the oligarchs to maintain their power ‘by the will of the people’, our livelihoods ruined and at the whims of faraway despots and robber barons who buy and sell our pride as if we were refuse to be bartered and nothing ever changes about it, dost thou know why?” He said, his expression severe. “Because we fear worse, our Truth now is that of the Sword of Damocles hangs over our heads and could fall at any moment, what war there is, is done by the powerful, manipulating lesser kingdoms into civil bloodshed for petty spoils and cynical gains. Where once valour and nobility ruled our hearts, our Truth now is that all is hopeless for we cannot change what looming doom has been brought upon us… Lest it fall and strike us all. So, at least in my kingdom and that of our neighbours, peace reigns and we no longer seek Truth. Not really.” He said.
There was an uncomfortable silence, Handy realised he had gone on a bit of a tangent and thought quickly about how to rescue it to tie in with his plan. “It’s why I have not done anything regrettable here…” He continued. Twilight looked up hopefully. “Because I have discovered a lot of Truths long thought impossible, some good, some strange, some evil and dark.” He said. “It’s also why I am so impressed by you, Highness.” He said, Twilight started.
“I-I’m sorry!?” She said, her face flushing once more.
“When I had arrived here, I thought this land and its people ignorant, indeed, many seemed to confirm that to me by their words and deeds. It took me a long time to see the good in ponies’ hearts, with thee it has been different.”
“W-why me?”
“Because thou seekest Truth.” He said, leaning forward slightly, Twilight’s blush deepened, her mouth tried to form words. ’Oh no you don’t, you walked into this trap.’ Handy thought, ’If I have to live like a vampire, I might as well act like one on occasion. I can’t do it right now, but still, I wonder what Alicorn blood tastes like…’ His lips parted ever so slightly as his smile widened, warmly of course. “There is much to be admired about that.”
“Y-you, I mean, I-I, uh-” Twilight looked everywhere for something else to divert the conversation, her eyes spied the mostly empty Wooden cup beside the human’s helmet on the table. “Wh-what’s the medicine for?!” She said, smiling desperately while pointing a hoof at it. Handy’s smile widened.
’Fucking, finally…’ ”How much dost thou know about the night ponies?” He asked, his eyes closed as he leant back. Twilight tried hard to recover her composure, but she was not entirely successful with that.
“Y-you mean Thestrals?” She asked shakingly. Handy nodded and opened his eyes once more, staring straight into hers.
“Yes, particularly their peculiar diet.” He pressed. Twilight rubbed the back of her neck.
“Uhm… Well, I know they have to drink a special kind of potion because of a blood detriment they are born with.” She said. Handy raised an eyebrow, is that the cover story Equestria ran with? Seems like a rather big secret to keep under wraps. If an entire ethnic group has to feed on the blood of their fellows in order to maintain their survival, you’d think people would notice. ”Sometimes, they can s-supplement it with… With pony blood. If they really need to that is. T-they have sharp fangs, which secret a particular stimulant…” She seemed to relax a bit, retreating into her comfort zone, lecturing once more, Handy would pull that rug out from under her in due time. Well at least they weren’t completely ignorant they were bloody vampires, but he found it amusing it seemed to be given knowledge that it was potions they took by preference and not by legal necessity. Ah well, maybe he was just cynical, he only had human perceptions of vampires to run on afterall.
“T-the bite is supposedly pleasurable.” She continued.
‘Wait what.’ Handy rose both eyebrows now. ‘Bullshit! When the fuck was that the case?!’ He felt incredibly angry, he didn’t recall anything enjoyable about the bite he received… Well ok, he was heavily concussed at the time, and the next thing he did was imbibe a heavily mind altering substance that was at least partially magical as it messed up his head. But that was not the cause of his anger, he had drained Geoffrey because he thought it would be the most horrifying way he could kill the bastard. The idea that it would possibly be in anyway a gentle way to kill him ticked him off to no end. He had wanted him to suffer.
He tried not to show his anger, but his foot began tapping away as his mind raced to try to turn this to his advantage somehow. “A-a-and the bite marks close rapidly after use. A coagulant secreted by-”
“And is their bite infectious?” He pressed, she was probably going to keep going on if he hadn't of interrupted.
“In-Infectious? No, well, so long as the Thestral doesn’t have a disease.” She said.
“So they cannot turn, say, another pony into a va-Thestral like themselves?” He asked, Twilight snorted in laughter, her nervousness slowly leaving her at the ridiculous notion.
“That’s just not possible.” She said. “The condition is inherited by blood, you can’t ‘catch’ Thestralism.” She started giggling.
“Even if one bit a member of a different species?” He asked, leaning closer once more, Twilight had yet to catch on as he reached over and took the cup into both hands. Twilight shook her head.
“It simply is not possible, why? Whats the sudden interest in Thestrals?” She asked, genuinely curious. Handy’s smile returned.
“Did thou hearest about the incident on the Equestrian Express?” He asked.
“Yes I heard there was some confusion over a wanted criminal… Why?” She asked.
“I was there… I was that criminal Sorcha and Ciara sought.” He brought the cup up slightly, tilting it ever so slowly forward. The room was poorly lit, Twilight having used her horn for a light source while she wrote her notes. Twilight’s eyes widened slightly.
“W-what…”
“And I was bitten, by one such Thestral…” He said, he finally beamed fully at her. “It seems, not every creature has the same reaction to such a bite…” He said. Twilight’s eyes widened as they lowered from his face to his teeth.
“Y-you… Your…” She whispered fearfully.
“Yes…” Handy said
“That’s… That’s not…” twilight was now looking down and into the human’s wooden cup.
“No…” He answered, leaning closer Twilight squirmed, wanting to move from the chair but finding herself unable too, her wings flapped gently a few times in her indecision. “I said I’d give thee the truth and I have, how much more art thou willing to learn, Aine?” She stammered and Handy had to fight every urge he had not to press his advantage further and just take what he wanted, he could practically hear the blood pumping in the pony’s arteries. ’Don’t be greedy now, Handy.’ He had chided himself, in a bout of paranoia he worried he might lose control of himself, which was why he had brought the vessel of blood originally before he got the idea to use it in his act. ’The guards are still watching, those curtains aren’t fully closed you know, sides, there’s no way you’d get away alive if you tried it now.’
Handy leaned back after a few tense moments and sighed as he drained the last dregs of his cup. “I think…” He had begun. “That we have spoken enough for one night.” He said, reaching down for his helmet, the princess was breathing heavily and seemed to sag in relief. He replaced his helm and put up his hood. “By your leave, milady Twilight.” He had said, slowly standing up. Twilight, slowly, nodded her head and Handy gave a low bow before turning to the doorway.
He opened it, two solar guards up well past the rise of the moon stood either side of the doorway in the hall and turned immediately to him. They looked back to see the princess who was very much not dead, but looked… off. They glared dangerously at the human who, for his part, spared them a glance before walking onwards.
--=--
It was an uneasy walk back to the griffon dorms. He had walked past a disconcertingly large number of night guards. All of whom looked at the human with a gaze at once similar yet quite different from that of the solar guards. He did not like that, he know that, for some reason, his blood gave them one hell of a boost, they all likely knew it too after the train. ’That damned train.’ He had thought. ’Why does it haunt everything?’ He had enough of the eyes boring into the back of his skull and decided, on a whim, to come to a sudden halt in front of a random night pony. He turned his hooded head slowly and stared down at the guard’s face for ten long, hard, seconds.
The guard for his part held up the stare for a few seconds before he got nervous and looked away. Good, at least that meant they were aware that their blood was as nectar to him as well. He could live with that. However it didn’t mean he could sleep knowing that. He didn’t want to take the chance. Upon arriving at the barracks Handy didn’t return to the bunk, instead checking the rota list, changing a few aspects of it and made his way to the poor sap who was currently on duty.
He walked up to the guard griffon, who looked fit to fall asleep at his post.
“Hey.”
“Zn-huh!?” The guard shot up and looked at Handy. “Oh, s-sir Handy, how can I help you?”
“Its your lucky night, I’ve been moved to this shift.” He said. The guard looked confused. “Check the rota if you want, or would you prefer to stand here all night?” He challenged, gesturing behind him with a thumb. The griffon quickly shook his head, muttered his thanks and rushed off to the barracks. Handy took position outside the doorway to the bedchambers the royals were sleeping in. He heard claws and paws to his left and turned. Out of the darkness strode a griffon knight in Gethrenian colours. He took up the position flanking the door’s other side.
It was hard to make out in the low light and the griffon’s armour. “Bat ponies?” The gruff, tired voice of Godfrey asked. Handy smiled, looks like he wasn’t the only one with paranoia, unlike Godfrey’s, his had a bit more of a reasonable justification behind it.
“Bat ponies.” He had confirmed, nodding his head as he took the night watch. He really, really, really needed to stop finding reasons to do this, but until he was safely out of Canterlot, that probably wasn’t going to be an option, he can sleep in the morning.
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I`m so wondering what Twilight is going to do about Handy`s curse.
For some reason this came in to my head.
What is a Pinkie, but a sack of sugar?
might wanna check the last half
4030697 Thanks for spotting that, fixed.
Handy (thus the author) is truly a storytelling artist.
And Twilight is naive as fuck. I cannot wait to read Sorcha and Ciara´s reaction to Twi´s inform.
4030810 no problem, if you want I could pm you grammar checks.
4030889 I would appreciate it, thank you kindly.
Undoubtedly Twilight would pass on what she learned to Celestia and Luna. Wonder what their reaction would be to know that it was one of their ponies that caused him to be how he is? And legal recompense?
Ah, what an excellent summary
he vahnts to saahk yor blahd!!!!
Wow.... amazing work, showing our own current conditions through his fictional world that is ironically far more believable for them than our true one would be... And you made this chapter in one day? Incredible. Not many people around here have your level of talent... I can't believe this story doesn't have more views than it does, must have just released it on a slow day.
I think this may be my favorite HIE fic now... Close to my favorite FIM fic period.
4031247 That is high praise sir! I can only humbly thank you and express my gratitude you have been enjoying my story so.
4031189 You know, just in case it wasn't obvious...
4031139 Muhahahahahahahaha
4026062 That would be telling.
4030863 Thank you for the kind compliment
4030968
One nitpick though. You might want to cut down on the amount of run on sentences in there. For example:
“May I sit, Highness?” he asked. Twilight looked at him, confused for a moment. She had already taken a seat while Handy merely stood behind the chair across the table from her.
He respected Heat Source immensely. She’d probably greatly appreciate him advertising her skill here before royalty, but he had to consider the fact he enjoyed the unusual qualities of his armour too much to share.
Preferably make those independent clauses a new sentence or use a semicolon. Also, take care to keep to once tense.
4031440 Noted and the quoted errors addressed. Run on sentences has been a perennial problem for me.
4031347 HA!
4026062 He wouldn't need armour to sparkle if that happened
This story gets better every chapter.
good stories I need MORE
Handy forgot to include giant robots. No history lesson is complete without them.
MORE!
Two things:
1. Pleasurable.
2. Red Court Vampires!!! I thought Dresden killed 'em all...
4037690
And what the universe is made up of, magic or not everything is made from a build up of atoms.(it's been proven)
I think I have found my favorite chapter so far.
Gods, I can't wait to see Celestia and Luna's reactions to this info. Perhaps they'll speak with him next
I feel the need to exclaim blasphemy at the use of Artorias as a joke but it was so well used that I will allow it
This chapter really wasn't qualitatively up to the previous ones, writing wise. Awful grammar and awkward sentences out the butt. Maybe your editor skipped out on you, I don't know.
Neat.
It's
Mare doesn't need to be capitalized
Eavesdropping
It's
It's
What's
Capitalize
It's
...Bat ponies.
Yup, just reread this chapter. Handy did nothing that should make Twilight particularly bitter about their visit. From her point of view, as I see it, he just entertained her curiosity and has a flair for storytelling. I can understand she may not like him, but what the hell about this chapter could Twilight have told her friends that would make Rainbow seek vengeance against Handy?
Perhaps he was using one of his vampiric powers without realizing it? But he didn't really get those until he overdosed on Changeling blood, and they just happen to have a lot of classically vampiric traits anyway. It seems you're trying to retcon something without realizing or caring how it affects the context and tone of how this chapter is read.
I like to see Handy suffer, but what's going on?
Normally I flip a table at such great writing. Instead, I shall make a table. No one may understand what the heck I'm talking about, but some will know.
7440485 sounds like some chaos stuff. Writing was so good a table just up and unbroke itself
So far one of the major beefs I have with this story is the fact that Handy is butchering the history of the human race. I mean, sure he's the only one there, but I would be proud and happy to share the true history of my kind.
Damn, Handy's cynicism became really apparent in this chapter.
7502113 Have you been rading the story? No one knows that he comes from another universe not even joachim and would you think they would react if handy says "my kind created weapons of mass destruction and colonised the moon" and also it wouldnt add up to all the acting an faking handy has been doing until now
Seriously look at the context of the situation he is in
That was a delightful mindscrew on Twilight.
Both should be thou or both should be you
Dais
Than
8539704
You know how it goes. While history is written by the winners, it is later edited by generations of disaffected storytellers and rumor-mongers.
What the fuck dude...
Mah boi Handy really needs to get that messed up vampirism cured somehow. :/
The chapter with a philosophical justification of a suffix... On an unrelated note, I'm using that reasoning from now on.
As one who's passion is in philosophy, I really appreciate the reference to Contemporary philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel's finest work "Phänomenologie des Geistes" (The Phenomenology of spirit). His take on the evolution of conscious is quite fascinating.
8780349
If you know enough philosophy, you can justify absolutely anything...
I shall try to resist commenting for a while so as not to pollute your comment's section. But as one with a degree in philosophy and a love of history, this chapter was gold.
he should have lord of bullshittery added to his titles
Something I find interesting is that people so frequently are taught that all good stories hold truths, and that myths are in fact pieces of history, thry might not be accurate, but they hold lessons learned, and actions wrought, though perchance with some flair to make the "heroes" seem more badass, much like hunters, soldiers, and the like nowadays that like to brag. Yet, in the same breath, it seems everyone easily brushes everything about our myths and legends to the side as simple stories. Its amazing how history seems to expand if you accept that at least SOME of our myths and legends speak of actual events. Atlantis and the Tuatha de Danann are really good examples. Both were island nations with the same demographic. Longer lived people, who had blond or red hair, and fair skin. Meanwhile, all across the world, all of a sudden these redheaded seafarers settled in various regions. Without fail, all seafarers. All with the same looks. And, fae were torn between those with golden hair and those with blood red hair.
Decided to go to Google translate to see what aine meant...was not disappointed
(Estonian, aine= substance)
Oh my Jesus God bloody crazy fuck DAMN!
This is one hell of a chapter! The starting, buildup, and that ending with Twilight literally shivering her spine out of her mouth!
This is the best chapter so far. Truly amazing. I also love how he kept his nobility facade up, and how he slowly laid bare his condition to Twilight.
Carve this in stone a hundred feet tall on the side of a mountain.
Humanos cazando
Pero yo puedo Ca-mi-nar.
either handy is an absolute god at improvisation, or he's been planning that speech for a while now, god damn