//------------------------------// // Part 1 Pinkie Vs. Van Nuys: Chapter 2 Pinkie Vs. Seatbelt // Story: The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga Part 1 Pinkie Vs. Van Nuys Chapter 2 Pinkie Vs. Seatbelt -ooooooo- “So…what do you think?” Dan whispered to his buddy in the driver seat as the car pulled along Pinkie held up one of Dan’s flyers to her face and squinted at it intently as street lights washed the inside of the car in light to return to dark, over and over again. “I just think she’s a poor, lost girl who wandered a little further than she meant,” Chris answered. “Yes, because that TOTALLY explains why such concepts such as car doors and walking elude her.” “Well, where do you think she came from?” “I already told you! She’s obviously a spy of some sort sent to kill me.” “Dan, I don’t think she’s a spy.” “Give me one good reason why my spy hypotheses wouldn’t work!” “She’s awfully uncoordinated for a spy.” “Pshaw!” Dan waved his hand dismissively. “She’s obviously just doing that to lead us into a false sense of security.” “She’s laying it on awfully thick, then, don’t you think?” Chris said, raising his eyebrows for emphasis.   “OK, so she’s a bad spy!” “Do you think they teach spies to pretend to not understand car doors as part of their elaborate act to get close to a target?” Chris asked sarcastically. “I DON’T KNOW! I’M NOT AN EXPERT ON SPIES!” “Gee, you're right. Guess I’ll just call MY WIFE and ask her what she thinks!” Dan’s eyes narrowed. “Touché, Chris. Touché.”   “Anyway,” Chris added, “if she had any sort of weapon, she probably could have taken us both out when she thanked us.” Dan began to look like he was going to retort, but was interrupted as Pinkie burst into fits of laughter. Dan turned to see the young lady holding one of his fliers as laughter continued to erupt from her. “And what do you think is so amusing?” “Thi…hehe…this….PFFFT HAHAHAHAHA…This comic is really funny…hehe!” “GIVE ME THAT!” Dan snatched the piece of paper out of Pinkies hand, neatly folded it, and roughly stuffed it in his jacket pocket. “That is not a comic! It is a call to arms!” “Dan, I’m pretty sure that thing was satirical in nature,” Chris interjected. “I will NOT sit here and let you besmirch the great Notley’s work that way!” Dan glanced back at Pinkie. “CHRIS STOP THE CAR, RIGHT NOW!” Chris let out a confused and alarmed sound and slammed his foot on the brake pedal. Pinkie, likewise, let out a confused and alarmed sound as she lurched forward with nothing to stop her until she hit the transmission hump with her face. “Dan! What the heck?!” Chris demanded. “Owie…” Pinkie mumbled as she slowly got up, rubbing her forehead. “And that, children, is why we buckle up when we get in a car.” Pinkie stared at Dan blankly; still leaning forward; her face several inches from his. Dan closed the distance to less than two inches. “SIT DOWN AND PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON!” he roared in her face. Pinkie sprung back into the driver’s side rear seat. Still maintaining eye contact with Dan. “Um…erm…” she blushed and gave an embarrassed smile. “What’s a seat belt?” Dan stared at her shocked, even Chris had turned back at this point to stare at her wide-eyed and in disbelief. “Unbelievable,” Dan muttered as he smacked his palm against his face and dragged hand down. He undid his own seatbelt and leaned on the transmission hump so he could better indicate what he was talking about with his hands. “Grab the buckle,” Dan said pointing at the buckle, which Pinkie grabbed. “Now grab the metal tongue.” Dan pointed to the metal tongue of the seatbelt, hanging off the belt. Pinkie obediently grabbed it. “I thought the metal part was the buckle.” Chris interrupted. “NO, you simpleton! The buckle is the female end, and the tongue is the male end!” “Are they married?” Pinkie asked. “SHUT UP! Now put the tongue into the hole on the buckle,” Dan commanded. Pinkie did as commanded and heard a satisfying ‘click’ sound. Then let go, quite pleased with herself. “There, was that so hard?” Dan asked condescendingly. Chris smiled and pushed his foot down hard on the accelerator, causing the car to lurch forward and Dan to slip and slam his chest on the transmission hump. Pinkie looked surprised for a second, then stifled a giggle with her hand. Dan turned around and pointed accusingly at Chris. “YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!” he snarled, wheezing to catch his breath. “Sorry, I thought we were all buckled in,” Chris’s grin grew wider. “It’s dangerous to be in a car with your seatbelt off, you know?” Pinkie’s hand proved insufficient to stifle her giggles and laughter filled the car once more. Dan let out a series of incomprehensible growls of rage and attempted to lunge at Chris who quickly tapped the accelerator again, causing Dan to wobble. Dan sat back down and buckled his seatbelt. “So, anyone hungry?” Chris asked. Dan made a disgusted sound, “Ugh, you’re always hungry.” “Hey, taking down a mugger is hard work,” Chris retorted, “I think we deserve a break.” “I took out the mugger.” Dan said, pointing towards himself. “YOU”--Dan pointed back at Chris--“just barreled into him with your car.” “Look, do you want a burger or not?” Dan grumbled. “You’re paying…” “Oh like THAT’S a surprise!” Chris said rolling his eyes. “Don’t get snippy!” Dan said, leveling the next in a series of dozen accusing fingers at Chris once more.   Chris continued driving, glanced behind him and asked, “Are you hungry? Are burgers okay?” Pinkie looked down as her stomach as it growled in reply. "You ponies have hay-burgers here?!" Pinkie exclaimed excitedly. She smiled. "I guess this place isn't so different after all!" Chris cocked an eyebrow "Uh... hay-burger?" Dan mirrored his tall friends expression. "Ponies?" He turned in his seat to face Pinkie. "What, did you escape from some test facility where they had you penned up like livestock?" "Uh... No..." Pinkie said. "Did I... did I say something wrong?" "Two things in a single sentence!" Dan cried. "That might even be a new record for you!" Pinkie puffed out her lip and whimpered quietly. "Dan," Chris began in a chastising tone, "give the poor girl a break! She's obviously had a rough day!" Pinkie nodded her head up and down vigorously. Dan rolled his eyes and turned forward. "Whatever. If you're buying, then by all means; fairy us all to Burgerphille." “Great!” Chris said excitedly. “And I think milkshakes are in order, too!” “Oh, I see! Let’s all get something DAN can’t have!” “Look, I can get you a slushy, instead.” Dan thought about this for half a second. ”Fine! But only if they have cherry flavor,” he insisted. “Dan, they’ve never not had cherry.” “DO YOU KISS YOUR WIFE WITH THAT FILTHY MOUTH, MR. DOUBLE NEGATIVE?!” Dan sneered. Chris sighed. Is it that much to ask I’m thanked instead of screamed at for offering to pay for Dan’s food…AGAIN? “I’ll just take whatever you two recommend…” Pinkie said tentatively. Dan turned his torso in his seat to face her and leveled an angry finger at her. “YOU’LL EAT OUR SCRAPS AND LIKE IT! YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” Pinkie looked away for a couple seconds and rested her finger on her chin as she pondered a response. She then looked back at Dan and smiled. “I was the bait,” she said as her warm smile turned smug. Dan’s face contorted into an angry scream, but no sound came out. He quickly turned around to face forward, crossed his arms, and put a sullen look on his face. “Then it’s settled! Burgers for everyone! Hurray!” Chris said excitedly. “Can, you order for me, please, Mr. Chris?” Pinkie asked. “Heh, it’s just ‘Chris’,” Chris responded. Dan rolled his eyes. “Hey, let’s go inside. I’m soaked.” He turned to glare at Pinkie once more. “SOME PONY,” he said, sneering at the word ‘pony’, “had us out in the POURING RAIN to SAVE her sorry butt.” Pinkie’s smile quickly turned back to a pout as she let out a small whimper. It’s going to be a loooong night.