The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 7 Dan Vs. Love
Epilogue/7.5 Prologue
*****
The setting sun hangs low over the abandoned and decaying town, casting an orange glow over the discolored, boarded up, and damaged single and second story buildings on either side of a sand covered street. Tires and metal barrels litter the road in large, random piles. Long dead trees stand sun-bleached as they erupt from the sidewalk as bare, skeletal like, warped tendrils of spiky branches. Here and there, cactus and sage brush grow from patches of sand in the city, and cracks in the street; as if the desert itself is slowly reclaiming the city.
A long shadow casts out from the sun and down from the edge of town and down the street. A forearm extends from the side of the silhouette and the shadowy hand at the end of the arm flickers in the light as the sounds of snapping is heard.
The shadow oozes into the street as its owner walks forward, the hand still flickering to the rhythmic snapping.
A challenge has been issued.
Doors and boarded windows explode out and shower the ground with jagged pieces of wood as three, large, slouching figures emerge from the wrecked city and into the street. They throw out their limbs forcefully and rhythmically to the snaps as they approach the center of the street. The harsh, orange sun hits the trio, a collection of discolored skin, tattered clothes, crooked teeth, mismatching eyes, and long, jagged fingernails.
The three stand side by side, forming a line and begin snapping in response, drawing closer to the long shadow as it approaches.
From the side a man with dirty blonde hair lurches forward with each step, favoring his right leg, no doubt due to the large growth on his left. His once light skin is now a grey and greenish, dark tan. A black, button up shirt and tie hang tattered over his blue shirt. Frayed blue jeans end at his ankles over warn and sand caked sneakers.
In the center, a man with short, curly, matted hair walks onward as he snaps. His skin has been similarly discolored to a shade similar to the man on his left. A black, ragged, collared, V-neck shirt hangs from his slumped shoulders and black pants hang off his waist. The left leg of his pants ends in tattered and frayed fabric and a bare foot. A black shoe sits on the other foot.
Finally, a large, muscular, dark skinned man lumbers up the street. A white, threadbare tank top clings to his body, loose jeans hang around his legs over large, black boots. A black, baseball cap sits backwards on his the top of his head.
The trio of twisted men snarl and sneer at the approaching stranger. This has been a rematch they have been eagerly waiting for.
A challenge has been accepted.
Dan looks up at the three, much larger men and lazily rolls his head around on his neck before snapping his eyes back into focus at the approaching figures. “Alright, the ugly, the uglier, and the ugliest. Let’s dance.” Dan stands on one leg, and raises his arms into the sky, holding his fingers out horizontally.
The three men copy his movements, ready to unleash a torrent of dance violence on the short man.
“Ayiyiiyiyiyiyi!”
The three look up as a high pitched shriek from above catches their attention.
The blonde man only sees the bottom of a pair of blue boots before said boots slam into him with the weight of the woman who had jumped off from a roof above the group of feral men.
The black haired man catches a glimpse of a pink heart on a white and blue shirt, a streak of pink hair, and a pink crowbar that quickly collides with his face.
The dark skin man turns to the t-shirt, jean, and large blue boot wearing; curly, pink haired woman who had just landed on one of his fellow savage townspeople and had clobbered another.
Before he can react, a black heel, attached to a black shoe, being worn be a short man who had just jumped into the air, rotated his body and thrown a kick hits the dark skinned man in the side of the head, snapping it hard to the side with the impact. The man turns to face his attacker but sees nothing but empty street and the sun lowering into the distance.
“Shoryuken!”
Dan leaps straight up from a crouch and extends his fist up as he does, slamming it into the chin of the much larger man above him.
The dark skinned man falls backwards onto the street, hitting the pavement hard. He scrambles away from his attacker, quickly joined by the other two as they escape from a flurry of blows delivered via pink crowbar.
Dan grins. “I’ve always wanted to do that.” He says, turning to Pinkie.
Pinkie chuckles, holding up two fingers.
“Hey! Mine was like…twice the size of those guys!” Dan whines, frowning slightly.
Pinkie rolls her eyes and smiles. “Alright, we can be tied.” Her smile widens. “You’re lucky I like you so much.”
Dan grins and loops an arm around Pinkie’s waist. “I really am.”
Pinkie smiles, purses her lips, and leans in for a kiss.
Dan, likewise, purses his lips and tilts his head up.
Pinkie pauses as a darkness quickly falls over Dan and her. She gently places a hand on Dan’s lips. “Hold that thought.”
The couple turn towards the gloom belonging to a shadow of another man with greenish-grey, dark tan skin. His hair is black and slicked back. A dirty, white, holey and ripped suit adorns his body over a black shirt with a popped collar. He marches forward, alternatively pointing a finger at the end of his extended arm diagonally up and down with each step.
Dan and Pinkie turn to each other as the man approached.
“Did you want this one?” Pinkie asks, motioning out to the dancing figure as he closes in on them.
Dan shrugged and smiled. “We can always take him out, together.” He suggested.
Pinkie smiles as the two turn towards the man in the tattered white suit who is almost upon Dan and her.
“I do like sharing…” Pinkie says with a grin.
Dan and her mirror pulling their fists back and throw their bodies into hard punches directed at the dancer’s snarling face.
*
A heavy, wooden door with a wire glass window set in the middle is pushed open as Dan peers into a dark, grey and brick warehouse; empty except for a walkway suspended on thick, rectangular columns, the odd pipe here and there that ascends from the ground into the roof, and piles of boxes against the walls.
“Old timer? You still here?” Dan called. “OW!”
An empty tin can bounces of Dan’s head and hits the ground, rolling away as Dan looks down and glares at it. He looks up to see a bumpy, wood carved cane poking out of a dark corner of the cavernous warehouse leveled in his direction and shaking.
“YOU”
“WERE”
“SUPPOSE”
“TO”
“SHIMMY!”
Dan rubbed the spot on his forehead that was recently visited by the can thrown out of the darkness. “Nice to see you, too, oldie.” He responds to the man holding the cane.
The cane hits the floor with a ‘clack’ that echoes in the hollow emptiness of the building. A pale, weathered hand emerges into the dim light, dragging a mostly bald, white haired, white bearded man after it. A tight ragged black turtleneck hugs his body and tight, light blue pants begin at his waist and end at his shins. He steps forward on long, black slip on shoes.
“Never thought I’d see you again, Pepercino.” The old man said to Dan. “Whatsa matter, have a change of heart?”
The hints of a smile emerged on Dan’s face. “In a manner of speaking…”
“Hiya! I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie announced, popping up from behind the old man.
“Ah!” The startled old man quickly turned and flung his cane out at the woman who seemingly materialized out of nowhere.
“Owie!” Pinkie exclaimed as the cane hit her forehead.
“Oh! Sorry, miss. Years of living in a town full of deranged, inbreed, feral, dancers can make one a might jumpOW” The same metal tin can that hit Dan found its way back to the old man. His forehead specifically. The old man rubbed his head, and shot a glare at Dan.
“Sorry, I thought you’d shimmy out of the way.” Dan said irritably.
“Dan, be nice!” Pinkie said in a maternal tone, rubbing her forehead. “He did apologize...and given how long you left him here, he’s allowed to be a cranky-hanky.”
Dan sighed, crossed his arms and uttered a quick, “Fine, fine…” adding “I just don’t like seeing you get hurt…” under his breath.
The old man raised an eyebrow at Dan. “You told her about abandoning an old man after you said you’d take me with you?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, gramps. I told her much worse thing I’ve done, too.” Dan shot back.
Pinkie grinned and bounded over to Dan, reaching for his hand, then turning back to the old man. “This one seemed easy enough to correct.”
The old man raised his eyebrows. “Fighting your way through a gang of angry, wild, dance fighters seemed ‘easy’?”
Dan and Pinkie exchanged glances, and shrugged, looking back at the old man. “We’ve faced worse.” They said in unison.
The old man chuckled and pointed his cane at Dan. “Hold onto that one, boy, ‘Cause you ain’t never going to be lucky enough to find a woman like that again.”
Dan grinned and gave Pinkie’s hand a squeeze. “I know.”
*
The old man climbed into the back seat of the red hatchback as Dan and Pinkie sat down in the front.
Dan turned the ignition key, starting the car. He put it into gear and pulled out onto the highway, driving past a battered green sign that read:
‘WELCOME TO PEMBROKE’
‘Home of the Dance’
The old man smiled to himself as he looked out the window, resting his hands on his cane and shaking his head. “Never thought I’d make it out of there alive. Thanks, Peperoncino. Better late than never.”
“Thank Pinkie.” Dan said simply. “She insisted we come rescue you, and I can never say ‘no’ to her.”
The old man smiled. “Alright, thank you, miss. Guess I owe you one.”
Pinkie glanced at Dan. “That’s okay.” She replied. “I’ve got plenty right here.”
“Alright, enough mushy stuff.” Dan insisted. “I’m trying to drive and you’re starting to get me car sick.”
Pinkie giggled. “Oooo!” She turned in her seat to face the old man. “We brought you something to help get you started!” Pinkie announced cheerfully, pointing down at an expensive looking silver case on the backseat floor. “We figured you wouldn’t have a lot after being cooped up in a scary town like that for so long…”
The old man set his cane aside and reached down to pick up the case, sitting it on his lap.
“Open it! Open it!” Pinkie said, excitedly hopping up and down on her seat and clapping her hands together.
The old man looked at her for a second, then looked back to the case, unlatching and opening it. He gasped. “Young lady, do you have any idea of how much money is in this thing?!”
Pinkie shrugged with a smile. “I have no idea!”
“Honestly, they’re pretty tedious to count.” Dan informed as he continued to stare out into the desert surrounded road.
“You have more of these?!” The old man exclaimed in a shocked tone.
“We hit Vegas on a day when Pinkie felt lucky.” Dan explained. He chuckled. “You’re lucky we’re giving you the case instead of firing the money at you out of a cannon.”
Pinkie held a hand up to her mouth and giggled quietly.
The old man closed the case as tears formed in his eyes. “You two can drop me off at the nearest city. I don’t think an old man like me could keep up with the two of you.”
Dan breathed a sigh of relief.
“If you’re sure…” Pinkie offered tentatively.
The old man smiled warmly at pinkie as he drummed his fingers on the case in his lap. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. This is more than enough to start a new life.”
***
Dan and Pinkie waved at the old man as Dan pulled the hatchback out of the parking lot, a large, tan, three story hotel slowly shrank in the distance as he drove off.
Pinkie turned to Dan. “See! Doesn’t it feel good to do nice things for people?” She asked with a cheerful smile.
Dan looked back at her, raising an eyebrow. “Honestly? It feels weird, like there’s this hot…crawling sensation all over my body.”
“Awwww, sounds like someone has a case of the warm, fuzzies!” Pinkie responded, flashing Dan a dazzling smile.
“Elchk. It feels unnatural and strange, like I need a scalding hot shower to make it go away…Or maybe do something to counterbalance it…” Dan glanced at the car ceiling for a split second and then turned to Pinkie. “Wanna go back to Pembroke and burn the whole city to the ground?” He asked.
Pinkie’s eyes widened excitedly. “DO I?!” She replied. She suddenly exhaled a hubiginnorgantuan amount of air. “Do you think there’s enough buildings that we could spell out ‘Dan and Pinkie forever’ surrounded by a heart with fire?!”
Dan’s smiled evilly as he drove on. “Only one way to find out…”
Pinkie produced a large, red, rectangular gas canister beamed wide enough that her lips made an audible ‘squee’ sound.
***
A twisted hand with long, jagged fingernails twitches from under a pile of bruised and battered sub-human dance monsters. Two shadows overlap the pile, as the owners stand illuminated by the bright beams of headlights.
“Weellll that was fun!” Pinkie announces, as she wipes blood off her pink crowbar with a dingy, blood soaked rag.
“I liked the part where they stopped moving.” Dan adds, similarly cleaning blood off of a wooden baseball bat.
Pinkie holds up the gas canister next to her face and shakes it with an excited smile. “Phase 2?” She asks.
Dan holds up his golden Zippo lighter. “Phase 2.” He answers.
**
‘Click’
Pinkie smiled down at her small, pink camera and held the camera out so Dan could see the last shot photo. “Definitely one for the scrap-book.” Pinkie stated happily.
“Yeaaah…” Dan said contently, looking over the blazing city of Pembroke from the couple’s perch on the city’s water tower. The words “Dan & Pinkie Forever” illuminated the night, all surrounded by a large, fiery heart as the flames shot high into the darkness.
Pinkie placed the camera back in her pink bag and leaned against Dan. She wrapped her arms around Dan’s arm and leaned her head on his shoulder.
“Alright, I can get used to this type of warm, fuzzy feeling.” Dan said contently.
Pinkie turned towards Dan and brushed a collection of pink curls away from her face. “Just so long as you’re happy.” She said.
Dan turned to Pinkie and raised a hand to gently caress her cheek. “You know what? I really am.”
Pinkie smiled warmly and wrapped her arms around Dan’s neck, drawing him closer to her as she leaned her head down, closed her eyes, and pursed her lips.
Dan titled his head up, closed his eyes, and pursed his lips.
Dan and Pinkie kissed passionately as the fire below danced a declaration of love to the couple above.
***
Author’s note:
The below gets a bit steamy, albeit, in a rather awkward, and kinda dorky way. Still well within a ‘teen’ rating, and pretty much par for the course with these two goofballs…
***
Dan and Pinkie sat on their blue couch in front of the T.V. watching as Salma Hayek dresses the wounds of a shirtless Antonio Banderas.
Pinkie snuggled up to Dan, her arms wrapped around one of his as she leaned a head full of long, curly, pink hair against his shoulder. Her pink dress hung off a couple of shoulder straps and hugged her body, the pink skirt of the dress sitting bunched up on her thighs above her knees as she scooched as close to Dan as humanly possible.
Dan chuckled softly, this was the second time El Mariachi was having his wounds looked over by Carolina, Pinkie had commented that it reminded her of the two of them. He shimmied his arm out of Pinkie’s grasp and looped it around her waist, Pinkie leaned her head against Dan’s chest in response.
Dan continued to stare at the T.V. only half paying attention as he mused on the past few days.
It’s about time that idiot Wally finally got some new meat at the bakery, even with Chris that place was still a madhouse, and not to mention I had to make sure he didn’t eat everything before it gets to the customers or hit a display case.
I can’t believe we actually got to sleep in past an ungodly hour of the morning. Stupid job draining the life out of us by the end of the day and only leaving us with enough energy to pass out on the couch or the bed each night. Everyone’s lucky I didn’t burn the place down for screwing with my love life…heck, I’ve burned down lots of other places for far, far less…
…Crud…well…this is awkward…those two are really going at it…I forgot about this scene…
…Alright, be cool…it can’t last that long, right, right?!
…
I was wrong…
…
…Aaaaand It’s getting worse…
…Great, now I’m subjecting my girlfriend to soft-core porn, awesome sauce…
Maybe Pinkie will just ignore it and…
…
THERE’S A GIRL ON MY LAP!
Dan’s train of thought derailed and crashed into a ravine as if it had just gone over a destroyed bridge during Superman’s lunch break. Without warning, Pinkie had swung her legs over his thighs, scooted up onto his lap, and pressed moist lips against his. The movie and awkwardness of the previous moment were quickly forgotten as his brain scrambled to process just exactly what was going on and what he should be doing.
Alright…uh…kissing mode engaged…
Erm…hands! Hands…what the heck do I do with my hands?!
I mean…one on her back and one on her head has worked well so far…
Wow, she’s really getting into this…and…
Yep, she’s going for my shirt…
Alright, hands straight up…easy enough…
…okay, shirt is off…uh…I guess…I should take her’s off, too?
…Wait! She’s wearing a dress…What the heck is the protocol here?! I guess I could move the straps off of her shoulders and…
‘BANG’
“OW!” Dan yelped as he felt a sharp pain on his lower lip as Pinkie flinched in his lap.
Gunfire erupted from the television set as the movie kicked back into an action scene.
“Ah! Sorry, Dan! What I do?!” Pinkie squeakily exclaimed in a flustered tone. “Are you okay?!”
Dan held his hand over his mouth and instinctively shot Pinkie a glare. “You bwit my liwp.” He informed.
Pinkie’s eyes widened as the flustered expression on her face increased in severity. “Ah! Sorry! I didn’t mean to…I just…oooohhh…” Pinkie hopped off of Dan’s lap and sprinted towards the door of the apartment.
“Wait! Pinkie!” Dan called out. “It’s not a big…”
‘SLAM’
“…deal…” Dan finished weakly, pulling back his hand to examine the small trickle of blood that had pooled on his palm. Dan sighed.
There really should be instructions for these sorts of things…
*
Pinkie sprinted down the walkway and ran quickly down the stairs, trying to put a little distance between her and the awkward situation she was now blaming herself for creating.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Ullllggg!
We finally have day where Dan and I don’t have to work or go rescue anyone, or blow up anything and I blow it! ERGGGGGGGHHHHH!
WHY AREN’T THERE INSTRUCTIONS FOR THESE SORTS OF THINGS?!
Feeling she had put adequate distance in between her and the apartment, she balled her hands into fists, threw her arms into the air, and shouted at the heavens.
“Viirginityeeeeeeeeee!”
Pinkie Vs.
Virginity
Pinkie scornfully looked up at the words floating in the sky above her. “Geez! Tell the whole world, why dontcha?” She shouted.
End Part 7
“WHAT?!” Pinkie exclaimed. “NO! You get back here!”
Uhhh…
Almost?
Pinkie nodded. “That’s better.”