Princess Luna is the guardian of the dreams of all the ponies in Equestria. She takes great pride and great pleasure in this duty, but when the dreams of Applejack and Rainbow Dash keep forcing themselves upon her, she finds her waking world tinted by the nightly passions of two ponies who can't quite seem to admit to each other what they want.

A commission written for shortskirtsandexplosions.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

Amazing dramatic reading here!
Incredibly British dramatic reading here!

Can a utopian paradise that preaches love and tolerance really make ponies happy? Does contentment really lie in free universal healthcare and open government?

Twilight Sparkle is determined to resist this happy world on a matter of principle, and finds herself sneaking off with a mare called Trixie to hate and loathe each other in secret.

Will their hate-nest go undetected? Or will they be forced to face the dangers of the Ministry of Love and the mysterious Room 101?

Something I just couldn't get off my mind until I wrote it down. Be warned: the ponies in these battles really go off on each other. Almost exactly like it is in "Epic Rap Battles of History", except with less cursing. There's plenty of verbal bashing, though.

Vinyl Scratch is the DJ for most of these battles, and will be doing the all-caps commentary (except for the ones she's in, of course). OC tag because of slight self-insert.

I've heard that this story is better when read with someone else. You know, with each person doing one half of the rap battle?

List of Rap Battles (as per request)
#1: Twilight Sparkle vs. Rainbow Dash
#2: Pinkie Pie vs. Rarity
#3: Spa Sisters vs. Flim Flam Brothers
#4: Octavia vs. Vinyl Scratch
#5: Angel vs. Gummy
#6: Derpy Hooves (Ditzy Doo?) vs. Lyra Heartstrings
#7: Princess Luna vs. Discord
#8: Scootaloo vs. Pipsqueak
#9: Fluttershy vs. Screwball
#10: Apple Bloom vs. Diamond Tiara
#11: Trixie vs. Featherweight
#12: Silver Spoon vs. Spike
#13: Sweetie Belle vs. Queen Chrysalis
#14: Applejack vs. Carrot Top
#15: Bon-Bon vs. Lyra Heartstrings
#16: Twilight Sparkle vs. Rainbow Dash (rematch!)
#17: Big Macintosh vs. Shining Armor
#18: Iron Will vs. Photo Finish
#19: Gilda vs. Prince Blueblood
#20: Nightmare Moon vs. the Doctor (Doctor Whooves)
#21: Princess Celestia vs. Princess Luna
#22: Snips and Snails vs. Twist and Ruby Pinch
#23: Braeburn vs. Soarin'
#24: Zecora vs. Cheerilee
#25: Winona vs. Opalescence
#26: Derpy Hooves vs. Pinkie Pie
#27: Spitfire vs. Daring Do
#28: Princess Cadence vs. Queen Chrysalis
#29: Babs Seed vs. Lightning Dust
#30: Sunset Shimmer vs. Trixie *
#31: tba

Picture by Silversnow here on this site.

...should there be a 'sex' tag, considering some of the stuff brought up in the rap battles?

Luna is on her way to visit Celestia, but hears her squealing for someone to 'stop!'

She walks in on Twilight on top of a red-faced Celestia, and the two of them react like guilty teenagers. Just what the buck is going on here?!

Every week, in secrecy, Scootaloo goes to her parent's house. She's afraid of other ponies finding out because her parents are rather... strange. But maybe things aren't as they seem, as her parents are about to tell her something that can turn her entire world upside down...

After being sucked into the magical land of Equestria, YOU find yourself as the legendary Brony Hero in this exciting interactive adventure. Will you find the Time Orb and restore peace to the land? Or will you marry Fluttershy? Will you defeat the evil demon king Tirek? Or will you marry Luna?

With 21 endings to choose from, only you can decide your fate!

After the disastrous invasion of Canterlot, an injured changeling wakes up near a small cottage and is quickly discovered by two of the last ponies she ever wanted to see. Now, with the help of her new "friends," she has to remain undetected in a town high on changeling hysteria that would not hesitate to throw her in the Canterlot dungeons should her true nature be revealed.

Simple, right?

Too bad she couldn't have picked a worse form to stay inconspicuous...

Many thanks to ZuTheSkunk for the cover image!

In which I, Twilight Sparkle, (the biggest idiot in Equestria), fail miserably, utterly, and conclusively in my valiant endeavor to keep my decidedly-more-than-Friendship feelings hidden from one Rainbow Dash (the sexiest fastest mare in Equestria).

Pinkie Pie has an existential crisis while painting her room. This self-parody is dedicated to Professor Piggy, who once told me that I could write a story about Pinkie watching paint dry and weave it into an incredible psychological journey. Let's see if he was right.

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Dramatic reading by MicTheMicrophoneZero.

Cover art by chaosdrop.

Twilight Sparkle prides herself on following and sticking to her plans, but she isn't as organized as everypony thinks. Her master list, the plan for her life, has an item that she has never been able to check off; and the time has come to fix that. How hard can it be? All she needs to do is go on a date and get a kiss.

Now available in hard or soft cover!