You look down at your Fluttershy pillow, smiling at it sweetly. “Oh Fluttershy!” you cry. “When will you be mine?” You turn coyly away, covering your eyes. “I have said too much for your beautiful ears!”
You stand up, striding across the room. “Fluttershy pillow, we have known each other for a long time, ever since I bought you off that scary man on the internet. We have had good times together, very good, and we get on very well. Me, with my wit, charm and sentience, and you with your inanimate pillowness. I think we should take our relationship to the next level!”
You wait for a while, but the pillow does not respond. You take this to be a shy ‘yes’ and laughing with joy, sweep the pillow into your arms. “Oh Fluttershy!” you cry!
Racing downstairs with the pillow tucked under your arms you pass your mum. “Can’t stop mum!” you shout out. “I’m taking Fluttershy pillow out on a date, we’re going steady!” Your mum calls after you to put some more clothes on, but you ignore her – going on a date with Fluttershy pillow is a dream come true, you don’t want to waste a second!
You decide to need to take her somewhere classy, so you walk to the nearest Subway. “Do I need to book a table?” you ask the staff hopefully, but luckily they tell you that you do not. You decide to splash out, and order two Subway Melts, one for you and one for Fluttershy. You sit her in the seat opposite and gaze lovingly into her eyes as you devour your twelve inch sub.
“Oh Fluttershy, how I’ve longed for you!” You put your sub down and lean over to the table to kiss Fluttershy pillow on her soft lips. You are thwarted in your attempt at romance by the voice that cuts across you.
“Excuse me sir, but I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave!”
You turn to see the manager, standing over you with a look of anger on his face. You clench your fist – will this brony persecution never end?
What will you do?
Stand up for Fluttershy pillow and refuse to leave
Go home and play on the internet