Rap Battle #22
Featherweight and Apple Bloom were in the Apple family’s barn, cuddling together on a pile of hay. The filly sighed, nuzzling closer to the tan colt. “...Ah’m so lucky...”
He chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes. “We get interrupted every time we try to kiss. Aside from that, I’m inclined to agree with you.” He ran a hoof through her strawberry-red mane, lost in his thoughts. “...Bloom?”
She looked up at him, a small smile on her face. “Yes, Featherweight?”
He glanced away, uncertainty etched in his face. “...why do you like me?”
Apple Bloom stared at him in shock. “What kinda question is that?” She hugged him closely, her eyes looking deep into his. “...Ah love ya, Featherweight. Ah have since the, uh...” She blushed, averting her gaze. “...the Gabby Gums incident...”
He blinked, completely surprised at this. “...what? But...we never even talked...”
She gave a small, sheepish grin. “...Ah know that...but...ya were so helpful...” She gave him a playful thump on the chest, her grin changing to a smirk. “...even though ya did take that embarrassin’ photo a’ me.”
He chuckled, pressing his snout to hers. “And I apologize, but I was asked to d-”
The sentence was cut short by a pair of soft lips. Featherweight’s eyes bugged out in surprise, not expecting the kiss in the least. He wasn’t arguing, however, and, slowly, he melted into the kiss. They lay there for a while longer, content to be in each other’s embrace.
Vinyl strolled down the street, her saddlebags on her back for the groceries she was planning to buy. She looked at her list, frowning in concentration. ...why can’t it be backlit like my phone? “Okay, so the first thing I need to get is some...linguine.” She facehoofed, sighing softly. “...darn it, Tavi, why do you always go for the expensive food? It’s all the same, in the end...”
“Liar!”
The white mare blinked, looking at the group of colts and fillies nearby. They were clearly in a heated argument, if their glares had anything to say about it. She walked closer, wondering just what they were fighting over.
The magenta unicorn filly glared at the orange colt across from her. “I don’t care what you say, I didn’t take your silly pyramid puzzle! Especially when I have this.” She held up a golden ring, markings all around the outermost edge.
“Then why is it missing?” The shorter, chubby gray colt stood right in front of the unicorn filly, a frown on his face. “And why was there a strand of dark pink hair, just like yours, Ruby?”
“Maybe it’th your mom’th hair!” The lone earth pony among them stepped forward, pushing her purple-framed glasses back up her nose. “Ruby ith innothent!”
While the younger ponies bickered, Vinyl slowly retreated, glancing nervously between the two parties. ...if I’m careful, they won’t see-
“Miss Scratch!”
The white mare sighed, hanging her head. “...of course...” She turned around facing the orange unicorn. “...what can I help you with, Snails?”
The tall colt grinned up at her. “I’m glad you’re here.” He gestured to the rest of the group. “We know they’re lying, but they refuse to admit it.”
“We aren’t lying!”
“So,” the gangly unicorn grinned, ignoring the outburst, “I thought we could settle this with a rap battle!”
Vinyl opened her mouth, but anything she said was drowned out by the clamor caused by the young ponies, all of them wanting the rap battle. She sighed once more, rubbing the side of her head. “...fine...meet me in town square in one hour...”
Vinyl raced about the stage, grumbling to herself. “...darn it, E...why aren’t you here!?” She quickly equipped the fillies and colts with their headsets, glad they had eight of them. Not like we’ll ever need that many...
The white unicorn finally moved behind her turntables once more, a large grin on her face. “Everypony ready?” She was greeted with an enthusiastic roar from the audience. With that, she began the music.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP
AND
VS.
AND
BEGIN!
Hey. Yeah, Snips? You know what I’m thinking, Snails?
Is it that these freaky fillies are both doomed to fail?
Yeah! How’s about we speed up their process a bit?
We’ll take back what’s ours with our razor-sharp wit!
You’ll be in a Pinch when we give you a Twist
You say we have problems, but you’re both high on the list
We got in the news and walked in the Everfree
While you’re doing what? Reading manga and eating candy!
You’re foals, Snips and Snails - we’re better off than you.
You’ll run away with your tailth between your legth when we’re through.
Snips, you’re more than just pudgy; we don’t have wonder why
Clearly, it’s because he stuffs his face with pastry and pie!
Why would you think we’d have your thilly trinket in the firtht place?
Take your time answering, Snails; it’s a rap battle, not a race
Your rhymeth are like old cookieth: awful and thtale
You’re stupid little colts, sans the puppy dog tails!
Now hold up a moment - I just want to be completely sure;
You both play with dolls, but call us immature?
Go, Snails! I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ll be frank
Ruby’s a sad otaku and Twist loves her dumb pranks
Yeah, you two fillies should really get out some more
Your lazy fat plots need to work outside your store
You may be Ruby, but we’re diamonds, you foals!
Stop fakin’ being nice; we all know you’re gettin’ coal!
You know, my mother always said you were up to no good
Why else break into her cellar? You terrorize the neighborhood
It’s time to pay, colts; we’re takin’ you to the bank
You’re both below us, and now we’re pulling rank
You dumb colth, go ahead and think what you will
At least we weren’t enslaved, nor nearly killed!
If we’re getting coal, you’re in the mine with the other elveth
Did you enjoy our rhymes? We made them ourthelveth!
WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
And thus begins the next arc of the story! 
Thanks to RLYoshi for helping me with this rap battle! Seriously, I wouldn’t have known where to begin with this one. 
Also, thanks to raybony for the idea for the slice of life moment in this chapter. Sorry for it being rather short...
Oh, and I have the next chapter of ‘No Longer an Enigma’ ready, but I’m waiting on something important from someone before I can post it. 
...just out of curiosity, is having a TVTropes page for a fanfiction really that big a deal? 
Have a nice day!
Enigma out.~
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Sweet. Had no idea this was coming.
Definitely Snips and Snails! :3
Snips and Snails won.
img1.ak.crunchyroll.com/i/spire1/388d3cf8bfbabd6f4b43d2db5e1919e41311506829_full.jpg
I-I mean, Ruby and Twist won
As for your question on tropes, I suppose it might be. Your fic is pretty popular
Snips and snails
1823792
i just meant in general.
oh, no, i don't have a tvtropes page.
it did get mentioned on a page, though.
Snips and Snails ftw
Snips and Snails
Snips and snails. Query(not related to my vote)- since navi is on the story, why no pony Link or Epona? I just really want the answer.
snips and snails won
Yay, a new chapter! Sleep can wait.
Hmm, I think Snips and Snails had better flow than Ruby and Twist. S&S win.
Snips and Snails won
1823837
there's actually a reference to that in my other story, 'no longer an enigma'. it's hidden a little too well, to be honest...and not really where one would expect it.
Snips and Snails.
Snips and Snails dominated them.
Sheldon Cooper won.
Ruby & Twist...
Ruby and Twist because of her lisp. It's adorable
Hmm id say ruby and twist one
ehh hard to say but its pinchy and twist.
1823933 That makes me feel like this...
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/224/3/a/pony_gangnam_gif___full_by_1n33d4hug-d5as5w1.gif
i1103.photobucket.com/albums/g475/TheSyxx66/Tumblr%20Gifs/bth_Dancing.gif
Twist and Ruby.
Though, I think it was kind of close.
My vote is for Twist. Forget everyone else.
Being in the military, I really like the pulling rank line.
I say draw.
Silver out!
Snips and snails cause they got smooth flow
I have to go with Snips and Snails on this one. Their rap sounds better.
And what's that Ruby's got. A gold ring? Is that... the Precious!!!
)
(Why yes I did see the Hobbit the other day. Why do you ask?
"She quickly equipped the fillies and colts with their headsets, glad they had eight of them. Not like we’ll ever need that many..."
Do I detect foreshadowing of a four on four rap battle in the future...
Now that I think about it, if you don't have it planned already you totally need to do a Element of Harmony vs.... well I'm not sure who would even stand a chance against them but still.
Ruby and Twist, definitely.
Snips and Snails.
Snips and Snails...won
That hurts to say, because they suck. I couldn't understand a damn thing Twist was saying. Also it's dwarfs that mine, Elves do magic and make cookies.
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSI4MjAxMi8xMi8wMi8wNV81OV81OF84NzVfMTcwMTc0X19VTk9QVF9fc25haWxzX3NuaXBzBjoGRVQ/170174__safe_snails_snips_artist-anirichie-art.png
Ruby and Twist
Ruby and Twist, definately, although it was close this time.
I say that Luna wins.
Also, if we all voted for Luna, and Luna wins, what would you do?
Ruby and Twist definately
Snips and Snails won. Ruby and Twist did pretty well but they got wrecked in the end.
I say Featherweight won with Applebloom.
Ruby and Twist, deff.
Ruby and Twist. Snips and Snails kinda shot themselves down with being in the paper and Everfree. They cause way too much trouble with their stupidity. More than likely the lost item was left somewhere they forgot and of course instantly jumped to the conclusion that it was taken by Ruby. They mucked up with Trixie and they're mucking up here.
Oh man was this a good one. I'm going to say Snips and Snails but just by one billionth of one percent. Their rhythm was just a tad better for me while each team had really good digs at each other. Although, for the record, I don't believe Twist and Ruby took their - whatever-the-heck-it-is/thingamajig. It will be interesting to see how the storyline plays out if S&S win.
Both were really meh, but I'll side with Ruby and Twist on this one.
Okay now I absolutely hate Snips and Snails, but from the raps I'm actually voting for them. Good job sir.
So maybe when Soarin appears I won't be bias and automatically vote against him. Who knows?
I have to say Snips and Snails won that one
Snips and snails!
1824335 That was just a figure of speech going along with the "you're getting coal" thing. It was basically a Christmas/Hearth's Warming reference.
Also, I vote Snips and Snails.
Ruby Pinch and Twist won that one for sure.
I vote for the drunkards daughter and the confectioner. Well that was a Twist! HAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HA HAHA EUSH UIDIJSUEDHHCHTHFISJFV ECL
Sorry bout that. Fell on the keyboard. Now chortle with me.
HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAAHAHA
1824559 I agree with this.
Snips and Snails
Y Chromosomes for the win! (aka snips and snails)
Ruby and Pinch won
I cast my vote for the females. I think that their counters were done well.
EDIT: 1824559 Never mind I changed my answer!