• Published 23rd May 2012
  • 31,457 Views, 7,518 Comments

Epic Rap Battles of MLP - enigmaMystere



a silly little thing the ponies in my head persuaded me to do.

  • ...
93
 7,518
 31,457

PreviousChapters Next
Rap Battle #25: Results and Aftermath

Enigma sat between the two pets, glancing from one to the other. He fiddled with the translator in his ear, wondering if it had a volume control. ...these two are so loud...

“Like I said, Winona,” the feline said, turning her nose up at her opponent, “I did not touch your silly little bracelet.”

“Liar!” The canine growled, narrowing her eyes at the pompous pet. “Ah know ya took the Geass Bracelet! All I want is to have it back!”

The red pegasus quirked an eyebrow, looking at the brown-and-white dog. “...‘Gee-Yes Bracelet’? What’s that?”

Winona looked at him, a frown somehow forming on her muzzle. “The Geass Bracelet is an ancient, powerful artifact. It allows the user to manipulate the minds of others while looking into their eyes, among other things. There’s always a unique set of rules for each user, though, and, if it’s used too much, one could lose oneself to the power.” She tilted her head, curious. “Does that answer your question?”

He blinked, staring down at the working dog. “...for some reason, that sounds very familiar...” He glanced up, seeing a familiar white unicorn trotting up to them. He beamed, waving a hoof at her. “Hey, Vi!”

“‘Sup, E?” She kissed him on the cheek, blushing brightly. “So, are they ready to hear the results?” She pulled out her phone, starting to count the votes.

“Not necessary.” Three heads turned towards the white feline in confusion. The posh pet stood up, sauntering over to the dirt-covered one. She scowled, furrowing her brow. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...sniff me.”

The playful pooch tilted her head once more, clearly confused. “Beg pardon?”

“I guarantee that you will see I’m in the right when you sniff me.” Opal closed her eyes, bracing herself. To her credit, she kept as still as possible as the canine sniffed all over her. “So, what did you smell?”

“Just yer usual scent.” Winona narrowed her eyes, frowning slightly. “What are you getting at?”

The fancy feline smirked, shaking her head. “If I were to have taken your silly bracelet, don’t you think you’d smell it on me?”

Winona recoiled as if she’d stumbled across a snake. “...I...I guess you’re right.” She whined, holding out a paw to the other pet. “Sorry fer accusin’ you like that.”

Opal distastefully stared at the muddy paw. “Apology accepted. Next time, though, be sure you have all the facts before you make wild accusations.” She turned and sauntered off, nose high in the air.

The working canine turned to the couple nearby, oblivious to their dumbstruck expressions. “Thank ya fer what ya did. Bye!” She bounded away, tail wagging happily.

Vinyl blinked, coming out of her shock. She turned to the red pegasus, frowning in disappointment. “...so...neither of them wanted to hear Winona won?”

He smiled calmly at her, draping his wing over her shoulders. “It would only cause a worse rivalry between them.” He started to kiss along her neck, eliciting a tiny whimper from her lips. He stopped, slightly worried. “...too much?”

She immediately wrapped her forelegs around his neck, pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss. After a few seconds, she broke it off, gasping slightly, looking at him with lidded eyes. “...not enough...”

He glanced around, feeling a little anxious. “...y-you...you want our...h-here?”

The disk jockey shook her head, a coy smile on her face. “Not until our fifth date, E. This will be our third date, though.~” She put a hoof on his mouth, stopping the words before they began. “Yes, I’m counting the one before the Royal Wedding.” She turned, walking back to their home with a noticeable sway in her step, flicking her tail playfully at his nose.

Enigma gulped silently, hurrying to walk alongside his love. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, he couldn’t help but smile as they both walked towards the rising sun.

The stallion turned to her, squinting slightly from the sunlight. “Do you have a spare set of shades?”


The new-found couple sat next to each other, the bed sheets loosely draped over their hindlegs. They avoided each other’s gaze, trying to find some way to break the awkward silence between them.

The red stallion spoke first, glancing briefly at the white mare. “...s-so...” He coughed, giving himself a moment to think of what he was going to say. “...that was an...interesting suggestion you made...”

She blushed brightly, idly fiddling with the covers. “...y-yeah...” There was a few more seconds void of speech. “...s-sorry, E...”

He rubbed the back of his neck, blushing fiercely. “...well, I suppose we all have our...um, kinks...” He sighed, finally turning to look at the unicorn that held such a special place in his heart. “...well, it’s not the most extreme one I’ve ever heard of...” She groaned, raising her hooves to her face. He frowned, gently wrapping a wing around her. “...what I’m trying to say is...I’m willing to give it a try...”

Vinyl looked up, her eyes wide in surprise. “R-really?” She smiled brightly at him, her legs trembling in excitement.

He nodded, pulling her close, gently kissing her. “Of course, Vi. Though I am curious about why you’re interested in it.”

She rubbed the back of her head, sheepishly grinning. “...well...Dash was saying how great it was...”

He held up a hoof, a playful smile on his lips. “Say no more.” He pulled her into a kiss once more, carefully lowering her onto her back. He looked down at her, smiling softly.

She returned the gaze, eyes shining with love. “B-be gentle, please. You already took one cherry...


On the other side of town, a gray mare flit about her home, nervously biting her lip. “...oh, where is it?” She flipped a table over, completely ignoring how it landed perfectly a few yards away as she was searching the space that was underneath it. After a few more moments of frantic searching, she sat down on the couch and groaned in agony, holding her head in her hooves.

The door opened, revealing a similarly-colored pegasus. She trotted forward, brightly smiling until she took in the state of the room. She glanced at the perfectly-placed furniture, the spotless floors and even the clothes that were neatly folded off to the side.

She looked at her twin, frowning in sympathy. “You lost something, didn’t you, Ditzy?”

The upset mare groaned, looking up at her sister as best she could with her wall-eyes. “Oh, Derpy, I just don’t know what went wrong! I put the key where I normally do, and it’s gone!” She held up a rainbow-colored cupcake, frowning slightly. “...I found this in its place...”

The weathermare stared at the dessert, blinking, her mind processing the sight of it. “...I think I know who left that...wait a tic.” Her eyes snapped to the other pony’s face, wide in shock. “...key? As in, the TARDIS key!?”

Author's Note:

:pinkiegasp: DUN DUN DUNNNN!

To all the young ones out there, I apologize for the middle scene. :fluttershysad: I wrote what came to mind, and it happened to be that...

To everyone who actually took the time to read this, I humbly thank you...and implore you to look at my latest blog. :scootangel: ...how does one even say 'Geass', anyways? :derpytongue2:

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

PreviousChapters Next