• Published 23rd May 2012
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Epic Rap Battles of MLP - enigmaMystere



a silly little thing the ponies in my head persuaded me to do.

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Rap Battle #9

Fluttershy hummed a simple song as she flit about her small cottage, tending to her animals. Behind her, dogs and hummingbirds started singing along. They were happy she returned to singing the songs they were cared and, in some cases, raised to. The majority of them had accepted her new career, though a fair number didn't really care for the strange music.

Angel was standing by the newly-acquired turntables in the living room, practicing his rhymes. He wanted to get better, maybe show Gummy up after being beaten in their last battle. Fluttershy gave him a quick pat on the head, smiling softly at him.

Soon enough, the pale yellow mare flew outside to tend to the numerous flamingos and squirrels. She began feeding them, her sweet melody slowly turning into a sort of beat. The birds and critters stopped following the tune, trying to figure out where, exactly, the main mare was going with this new medley.

At this point she was bobbing her head up and down as she fed some of the critters, her eyes closed. It was no surprise when she almost knocked over the bowl she had just filled.

"...huh? Oh! I’m so sorry Mr. Mouse. I guess I can’t get Turntable-ing out of my head. Do you think I need some rest?” She asked. Fluttershy however, payed no attention to the mouse as it nodded, her head was turned “Or should I be practicing my rhymes like Angel?”

Fluttershy slowly made her way next to Angel as if in a trance. Behind her, the mouse facepawed at the mare’s addictive behaviour, as did the many that didn't approve of her new lifestyle.

As she made her way, she found herself suddenly blocked by her chickens. The birds dropped a feeding tray, void of any seeds.

Fluttershy's eyes widened in shock, immediately fretting over her friends. “Oh, did I forget to feed you? I'm sorry!”

Fluttershy pulled out a bag of nutritious squirrel food and poured it all on the tray. The chickens seemed unamused.

“BAK-BACKAW!” Fluttershy, realizing her mistake, sheepishly replaced the tray with another one full of chicken seeds. The chickens cleared away to let her pass.

Unfortunately, the moment she turned her back on them, she heard a loud crash.

Fluttershy immediately turned around to see that Screwball, a pony whom seemed to have stayed in Ponyville despite the end of Discord’s (rather short) reign, had ran into her chicken coop, again, but it was now broken down.

“...oh...my...”


Vinyl was sitting in her living room, watching the fillies and colts and enjoying the fact that nopony seemed to want to do any rap battles lately. She munched on a daffodil sandwich, already planning out the next party she would throw. She had to see if she could find Octavia beforehand so she would have to go. Where is Octy, anyways?


In a remote part of the Everfree forest, a grey mare sneezed twice. "...somepony must be thinking about me...and two sneezes...it must be bad..."

Rubbing her nose, she glanced at the unfortunate Timberwolves that attempted to ambush her, now essentially firewood. Shaking her head, she continued on her way, two of her spare cello bows strapped to her back.


A small grin started forming on the white unicorn's lips, imagining about how Octavia would react to her surprise. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a small tap her shoulder.

"...um, Vinyl? I was hoping I could ask you a favor..." The nervous pegasus asked, hiding behind her pink hair.

"Sure, 'Shy. Anything for you." Vinyl flashed a grin, nodding genially.

"...well, um...if it's okay with you...well..." As Fluttershy slowly tried to explain, a purple pony appeared magically behind her.

Vinyl looked from one mare to the other and back, confused momentarily. Why would 'Shy be with this pony? I thought she- Blinking in realization, she groaned, resting her head on her forehooves. "...oh no, 'Shy...not you, too..."

"...but she ran into my hens' coop..." Fluttershy was obviously trying to be insistent, but her timid nature was keeping her from properly being so.

"She put that thing in my way!" Screwball point an accusatory hoof at the yellow mare. "Daddy specifically said to get 20 minutes of jogging everyday! Not every week. Not every other day. Every. Day!"

Vinyl peeked at them between her hooves before rolling her eyes. "...at least let me finish my sandwich." Fluttershy and Screwball stood in front of her with huge grins plastered on their faces. The unicorn mare could've sworn she heard a 'squee' come from somewhere...nah, it's probably just her imagination.


Vinyl had set everything up in her basement again, and the fillies and colts all filed in, gathering on the little rows of pillows laid out just for them.

Fluttershy nervously but bravely set hoof on stage. The crowd all watched in silence, until a pink pony could be overheard calling out from the seats.

"Who are you rapping against?" The other ponies all clamored in agreement, though some were reluctant, wondering if they were trying to pull a joke on them. Fluttershy and Vinyl quickly glanced around, surprised and confused. Screwball was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, a headset was violently tossed in Fluttershy's direction. She cowered and, panicking, flung her forelegs up in an attempt to protect herself. Somehow, doing this allowed her to catch the piece of equipment. She looked up to see her opponent, wearing wrist bands on her hooves and sporting a huge grin, her headset already on.

...as much as I hate to admit it, this just might be good. Vinyl double checked the sound, compensating for Fluttershy's soft voice, before starting up the beat.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Please excuse me if I'm being rude
But for you I'm just not in the mood
Rapping is what this DJ does best!
I'll trample you down with my Fluttertree forest!
My animals and I look down on your mishaps
And we'll do the same for your dumb raps!
I'd try to reason with you but you're too dumb to understand
If you don't mind, go back to your little wonderland!

Me get off, ya timid mare? You must be kiddin'!
It's clear you can't rap so just sit down and listen
I'm insane when I step up on the mic
I'll beat you down as much as I like!
You're nowhere near best pony, that's for sure.
You can't even watch over three fillies - that's real mature!
You're weak - can't fly for long before ya pant!
You went insane when ya couldn't befriend an ant!

I love all animals - you have a problem with that?
I swear I'll knock you out with your sad propeller hat
I'm DJ TR33 - I'll drop kick you from the sky!
You'll learn nopony raps against new Fluttershy!

Shaped by chaos, I hold the normal world hostage.
You stay curled up on your floor in your cottage!
I ruled with daddy Discord for two days straight!
I won this battle, there really is no debate!


WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Vinyl turned off the music, satisfied. She turned around only to come face-to-face with a pair of stone pegasi. They seemed to be stuck in a staring contest, hooves up as if they had been grasping at something between them, angry expressions etched on their faces. She was fairly certain those weren't there before.

She decided that it was probably best not to think about them too much.


A big thanks to Black-eyes, who gave me the general outline for this chapter's story and the basis of the rap. I kinda needed a breather, since Tiara really is being stubborn. She refuses to help with the rap, even when I promised to get her a diamond ring! :(

Thankfully, somepony's helping me with that. :3

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

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