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“Your lies will not stop my quest for justice, monster!” You bunch your fists and run forwards, striking Tirek on one of his front hooves. The first blow has been struck! You continue to punch him, screaming. “Die beast, die! I am the hero of Equestria! Die!”

Tirek raises an eyebrow as you pummel his leg, seemingly unmoved by this. “You seek to challenge me?” he glowers. “Me, Tirek the demon king?”

You pause from your punchings to look up at the monster. “Yes Tirek,” you boast. “You may be gigantic and mighty and have the power of all hell behind you, and I am just a normal human who has spent way too much time on unsavoury websites about animated ponies, but if there is one thing that television has taught me, it’s that the underdog always wins!” You return to punching his shin.

Tirek sighs, and with a blast of his devilish death vision, incinerates you. He looks at the charred stain on his welcome mat. “That’s going to be hell to clean.”


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