Fluttershy was in the kitchen, making dinner for two. She sighed softly, looking at the pink mare currently flitting about her living room. Screwball just wouldn't take no for an answer, especially after finding her unfinished manuscript.
"I can't believe you're the Lemon Tart!" Her guest turned and smiled at her...or maybe at her fridge. Her head was pointed between the two locations. "You are an amazing writer, especially when it comes to clop!"
Fluttershy glanced at Screwball, frowning slightly. "...I'd like to change the subject...um, I mean, if that's alright with you..." She stared at her hooves, as if she could imagine herself into invisibility. "...and...the second thing I want you to do...is to never mention this to anypony else...please?"
Screwball saluted, a goofy grin on her face. "No problem, Lemon!"
She winced, shaking her head fervently. "...p-please...call me F-Fluttershy..."
The beanie-wearing pony continued to flit about. After a moment, she pulled out a record and put it on the Victrola.
"IF THERE'S A NEW WAY, I'LL BE THE FIRST IN LINE. BUT IT BETTER WORK THIS TIME!"
In a fit of panic, Fluttershy grabbed the record and flew up into her room, leaving behind a confused mare.
Screwball looked at the stairs, then at the vegetable soup still on the stove, then back at the stairs. "...so...is dinner ready?"
The grey mare slowly trot out of the forest, squinting as the sun shone directly in her eyes. "...is it really that late? Vinyl must be starving. Only Celestia knows how she fed herself for three weeks."
She turned to the blue unicorn behind her, a soft smile on her face. "Would you like to come over to my place? I'm certain I can make you a lovely meal." She wasn't blind; she saw how skinny she was.
The mare stared at her new earth pony friend, a look of awe and fear on her face. "T-Trixie is thankful, Octavia." She smiled nervously.
Octavia giggled, a hoof covering her mouth. "Don't worry, Miss Lulamoon. I won't hurt you."
"I - Trixie wasn't worried about that!" She blushed, shaking her head to rid it of their incident with a manticore.
Octavia smiled knowingly, heading off in a seemingly random direction. "Please follow me, Miss Lulamoon. Everything is alright."
Trixie stood still for a moment longer before trotting after the musician, the promise of food all the motivation she needed.
Vinyl sat on her couch, idly poking a hoof at the sandwich on her plate. I just know something will happen as soon as I try to eat this. She stared at it for a little while longer before shaking her head, lifting the delicacy with her magic. Might as well get this-
"Miss Scratch!"
Called it. She glanced over at the two fillies sitting on the other side of her coffee table. Lemonade table. "So, I take it you girls want to know who won?"
"Well yeah!" The pink filly flipped her hair over her shoulder, as if that would help her point. "It's been over, like, a week, now! It's the next month, even!"
The other one glared at her rival, annoyed. "So how'd yer tryout go?"
She waved her hoof dismissively. "They said I was too young. The nerve of-" She stopped, looking up at the shocked unicorn in front of her. "...oops."
Vinyl's eye twitched slightly, trying her best to figure out just how to cope with this new information. She sighed, taking out her phone and navigating through it.
"Who won, Miss Scratch?" The yellow filly was bouncing in place, excited and hopeful.
Vinyl chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Be patient, Applebloom. I'll tell you it eventually!"
She frowned, leaping over the table and placing her face right in front of the DJ's. "But Ah want it now!"
She just looked around the little Apple's head, finishing her mental tally. "Okay, AB! You win!"
"Thank ya!" Applebloom looked up, smiling brightly. "So, who won?"
Vinyl stared at the filly for a few moments. "I just said you won."
"Yeah, and you'll tell us who won, right?"
Vinyl facehoofed, sighing softly. "...Applebloom, I'm saying that you're the winner of the battle..."
"I can't believe this!" Their attention was drawn to Tiara, who was positively livid by then. "Her first part stank! How could she win?!"
The DJ shook her head. "She brushed off that part about her mother and came back with a vengeance."
Tiara scowled, turning to Applebloom. "Fine! You can have him! I don't care anymore!" She turned and stomped off, brushing past a tan colt as he flew into the room, snapping pictures as he went.
Vinyl blinked, turning to the yellow filly next to her. "...dare I ask what that's about?"
Applebloom just blushed, looking at the colt as he flit about. "...it's nothin', really..."
The sound of an opening door soon greeted their ears. "Vinyl, I'm back! And I brought a friend!"
The two mares walked into the room. The blue unicorn with Octavia glanced at each of the ponies, curious. That is, before her eyes landed on the colt.
She stared at him, taking in details that others would have dismissed as commonplace. She saw his camera and his cutie mark of a feather, before resting on his face. Her own twisted into a look of surprise, then horror, followed almost immediately by the most rage anypony there had ever seen. Her hair even began to look like it was smoldering.
"YOU!"
I'm sure you all know where this is going. :p Oh, and to the one person who recognized the "I'm On a Boat" reference last chapter, you get a pony. ^w^
"When E says 'you get a pony', that probably means you get to choose a pony that appears in an upcoming battle! Of course, he can still decline, if it contradicts one of the 'rules' he has set."
^ This.
I hope you all enjoy the next chapter, and have a nice day!
Enigma out.~
Lemonade table. Enigma, you genius, you
lh4.ggpht.com/-HMEmsSE_9To/TmRZ0hOVtCI/AAAAAAAAAvM/fc-R2GdZGYg/yao-meme.png
Good job!
Third comment! Finally a life accomplishement! Also I would assume either the Lemonade Table or how Vinyl fed herself for three (Weeks was it?) was the reference I dunno. Just guessing. Also. ?! Shit just got real.
Glida vs rainbow dash, awesome rape battle there
1016625 RAP not RAPE right?
1016625
....I'm not sure if that's a typo or you just have very strange tastes.
1016625 I agree
But, you wont decline my choice, right?
Aaaaw Trixie's starving Poor pony
1016669
yours was the one about lyra being the first to have a second battle, right? you don't have to worry. i made a promise, and i'm sticking to it!
Awesome!
Now, I'm off to record more of these!
Oooh, an update!
Keep up the good work!
Twilight vs Big Mac would be hilarious.
1016625 I am experiencing a mix of both and right now.
1016625 A rape battle would be ... Interesting.
..... was that a Megadeth refrence?
METALSHY!
I just read the entire thing just now.
/)^3^(\
SO AWESOME!
1016688
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/305/d/9/rainbow_dash___yes_by_cptofthefriendship-d4escwu.png
Also, remember what happens when you break a promise...
1016785
yes. yes, that was a megadeth reference. you win a pony!~
1016686
If you thought that was bad, you should see Wanderer D's representation of her in WD: The HiE Experiment. After the episode she debuted in, she Got lost in the Everfree Forest and was for Ed to eat pinecones.
The pseudo-child porn was kinda creepy tho...
1016784
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huh diamond tiaras try outs..... too young......too many lols...... erro101001
-Brain.exe has stopped working
-Windows is restarting the program
-loading....
-50%
-80%
-Done
-Resuming windows
ok then..... well she lost but even then
you could say she
*puts on sunnys*
went out with a bang
pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134117380239.jpg
horrible overused meme but i couldnt help myself
get owned diamond.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png
Looks like Trixie thinks that Featherweight is Gabby Gums...Either that or they crossed paths in the past
1016697 Can we find them on youtube?
1017068 I'm posting them there, but unlisted, since I don't want my usual followers finding them until I can make them sound good. Though I'm going to be posting links to them in the comments of this story when I make them, roughly one recording for every new battle Enigma makes, so just check the comments whenever a new chapter is posted.
Or Enigma could link the videos in the actual chapters...if he wants.
1017081 Okkk Thanks, good luck
1017089 Thanks, I'll need it. I can rap, but I can't voice females that well, so this is not gonna end well.
1017093 Just try your best, bronies shouldn't judge much here
I think that Featherweight vs. Trixie would be fun.
She seems to still be upset over the Ponyville Confidential thing
also "YOU!" had me laughing my arse off
Metal head Fluttershy
peace sells man, but who's buying, figures
1016866
Damn it! Peace sells is awesome!
But not in this case! Now i'm mad.. I wanted the pony.
Slenderpony vs Nyx or Cadence vs Chyrsalis
Oh come on, Enigma. I'm sure plenty of us got the I'm On a Boat reference. I mean, like...
I know I did. Even if you don't believe me...
In ANY CASE, I really wanna know why Octavia was away.., Or were we told that already and I just forgot cuz I 'd?
*shrug*
In any case, LET THE RAPPING CONTINUE!
That is all.
Journcy Out.
Sweetie belle vs Spike
Gilda vs Iron Will
I knew AB would win.
...and I'm still sticking onto my hope for Nightmare Moon vs. Chrysalis.
Is the "I'm On a Boat" reference from MictheMicrophone epic rap battles of Equestria(Big Mac vs. Prince Blueblood).
Amazing story can't wait for the next chapter.
1018216
...no, it's from 'the lonely island's song...I didn't even know it was in that video... i didn't really watch it...
1016643 rap not rape sorry
1017093
Heh... I know that feeling...
Got to love Apple bloom, and Trixie!!!!! Still best villian ever, besides the Dark Elements but they are even second to her lol......HA! Tavi comes out of nowhere....Featherweight and Apple bloom gug? Shit...I'm down.
1018321 Love Lonely Island.
I have an idea that will shatter the fourth wall so much, it might even crack a bit of the fifth wall. Here it is...
Lauren Faust
Vs
Princess Celestia
The god of ponies vs the god of bronies.
Mother of Celestia look at all those comments!
1018386 I don't know, I'd see a rape battle at least once.
DT's auditions failed? And I was so looking forward to next month's issue...
Dirty Novelist Fluttershy is Closet metalhead Fluttershy?
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1019562................
Oh God. The Diamond Tiara part...
Heheh I love the ref. Great job on the chapter! Keep it up!