Rap Battle #20
Enigma flit about the library, his concern growing more and more. “Come on! There has to be something here about those ... statues!” The pile of books in the middle of the library slowly grew as he skimmed the pages for information.
As he reached for yet another tome, a force pulled him back from the shelf. Glancing around, he saw the librarian glaring up at him. “What are you doing? Spike just organized those!”
He just hung there in mid-air, staring at her with his best pitiful expression. “I’m sorry! I need to find out about these statues in Vi’s basement, and-”
His mouth was forced closed. Looking at the lavender unicorn, he noticed her eyes were unfocused and her eyebrows were pinched together. She was also chewing on her lower lip. He thought back to that one book his best friend gave him. If her face looks like that, then ...
“ ... you’re worried, aren’t you?” She glanced up at him in surprise. “You can’t be worried about the books; no, that made you more upset than anything. I believe you’re more concerned with the statues.” When she said nothing and wore an awed expression, he allowed himself a mental hoofpump. Nailed it!
“ ... I’ve come across them before.”
Enigma blinked, confused. “ ... you have?”
She nodded, glancing outside the window. “Oh, definitely. As a matter of fact, you’re about to meet the leading expert on them in our universe.”
Before he could ask her to explain, the door burst open. The first thing he noticed was the grey pegasus. With her wall-eyes, it wasn’t that hard for him to recognize her.
The pony next to her, however, was a different story. The stallion stood in the doorway, his blue eyes glancing around and a strange device held in his teeth. He scoured the entire building, as if he was searching for something. He paused in front of the newly-installed safe, taking notice of the pegasus standing beside the large pile of books. He pointed a hoof at him, tapping his opposite rear leg to get his attention. “You. Yes, you. You said something about Weeping Pegasi, correct?”
Enigma blinked, staring at him for a few moments before slowly nodding. Is that what they’re called? Weeping Pega - he’s getting a little close, there.
The earth pony got almost snout to snout with the pegasus, definitely invading his personal space. “Great, so that means you saw them, but you escaped. How is that? You aren’t there to keep them in view. I know, since they aren’t here, and you aren’t flung in the past like your friend was.”
The red pegasus raised a hoof to interrupt, but the other pony was faster. “And then there’s all those rap battles. I thought ponies were supposed to be loving and tolerating. It certainly isn’t a nice thing to do those verbal battles - far from it, in fact.” He pointed the device at the pile of books, moving his jaw so he could glance at it. He tucked it into the collar he wore, adjusting his red bowtie before continuing. “Judging from your expression, you probably don’t know me. I’m the Doctor. What’s your name, miss, and where are the Weeping Pegasi?”
Enigma’s eye twitched, and he tried his best to keep a scowl off his face. “I’m not a mare.” He sighed, rubbing the side of his head with a hoof and ignoring the look of surprise. “As for those, uh, Weeping Pegasi? They’re still at Vinyl’s house, in the basement.”
“Alright, then!” The Doctor turned around, pointing out the door with a hoof. “Onwards and upwards!” He rushed out the door, and the others followed, curious about just what he would do.
They arrived at the cottage, where the door was ajar. Signalling them to be quiet, the Doctor peered through the doorway. “The basement’s open, but there’s no sign of them. Where would they go? Why would they leave?”
The other stallion poked his head in under the Doctor’s. “Maybe they decided the party wasn’t here?” He ignored the sound of the ponies facehoofing behind him, stepping into the building. “I could’ve sworn I left the lights on when I fl-” He yelped in surprise, suddenly yanked back by teeth in his tail.
The cross-eyed mare spat the brown hair out, trying her best to fix her best stern look on the other pegasus. “Don’t just go in! There could be piranha shadows in there!”
He just stared at her, confused. “ ... ‘piranha shadows’? What the hay are those?”
“No, I don’t think those are in there, Ditzy.” The Doctor looked around, noticing the slight blue tint of the home’s interior. “No, this is more fitting of a certain villain I’ve seen once before. We’ve seen once before.” He pointed his device inside, a small smirk on his face. “Isn’t that right, Nightmare Moon?”
At first, there wasn’t any response. Eventually, though, a dark blue cloud slowly grew out of the walls and flew out of the apartment, solidifying into a tall, almost pitch-black alicorn with piercing blue eyes. “Clever. You’ll have to do better than that, though.”
Enigma stepped forward, his eyes filled with confusion. “You? You were behind all of this? But ... but how?!”
She smirked, leaning forward and staring him directly in the eyes. “How?” She pulled away, looking at each of them in turn, her eyes twinkling with confidence.
It was simple, really. A dog chasing a thieving bunny, and those two foals abandoned their stalls. After that, all I needed to do to spark their conflict was smashing their pathetic carts. No one was the wiser, and they started a rap battle, as planned.
The unicorn was difficult, I’ll give her that. She had the utmost faith in her former-lover, even though they weren’t together. Eventually, though, I broke her logic, making her distrust her marefriend enough to ask for the rap battle. She cried, but I don’t care about that.
Element of Loyalty? Don’t make me laugh! A few moments of coercion and she took that silly little novel. Her friend was so upset, but a rap battle challenge made, and I had no further need to be there.
At least, until that white unicorn, that brother of Sparkle’s, showed up. When I saw the farmpony approaching the library, I had to take action. So I hid in the good Captain’s mane, whispering hurtful words about his sister in his ear. Like I hoped, he got mad beyond reason at that Apple, and I silently left, knowing they would either fight or have a rap battle.
The fashion pony was another that was rather simple to manipulate. I pointed her towards a pony who I correctly pinned as a loather of frills and lace. Strange that she readily accepted my words as true, but I didn’t really care about that.
And then there was that griffon princess. I have to say, she was the easiest out of all them. I just made a different unicorn cross her path, and she fell hard for him. Now that their arranged marriage failed, the Griffon Kingdom and Equestria will go to war!
The evil embodiment of darkness laughed, throwing her head back as she did so.
The four ponies gathered stared at each other, an unspoken question going between them all. Twilight made to step forward, but a hoof stopped her. She blinked, glancing at the stallion, who gave her a reassuring smile. He walked forward, a calm expression on his face.
“These people - err, ponies, are special to me, and I will protect them from anything you send my way. Be it Vashta Nerada or even the Silence, I will never give up.” He glanced at his current company, pausing momentarily as his eyes fell upon the red pegasus. With a small smile, he looked up at the evil alicorn. “I think you need to be taught a lesson. And I believe Enema - ”
“Enigma.”
“Sorry, Enigma, has a friend who would be willing to help us.” He grinned, pointing out the window towards the large orchestra stage still in town square. “Geronimo!”
The Doctor stood across from the midnight-blue alicorn on the stage, frowning up at her.
She glared back, smirking haughtily. “Why, it seems you’re mad. Much easier to beat you that way.”
He flashed a smile up at her, a twinkle in his eye. “Trust me, you haven’t seen me mad. You wouldn’t like that much, to be honest, so you should hope you’ll never see that.”
Enigma, currently adjusting the headset on the other stallion, paused, staring at him with apprehension. Something about that statement made him feel ... worried. He quickly shook the feeling off, finishing his job and moving over to the almost pitch-black alicorn, carefully placing the piece of electronics on her, acting as if she’d bite him at any moment. For all he knew, she probably would.
Vinyl sat behind her turntables, working on the best mix she could think of for this rap battle. She had to pull that one song the Doctor had requested from her, and mixed it with a hip-hop rhythm. Finally, when her best friend joined her behind the turntable, everything was ready. With a click of the button, the music began.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
VS.
BEGIN!
Who takes this battle, takes the universe.
You think you're a villain, but I've seen far worse.
You were beaten mere hours after returning from the moon;
Pack your bags - that vacation’s about to resume.
I won't need to use my Sonic Screwdriver.
You were defeated by rainbows - don’t deny it, you liar.
It seems quite ironic to tell you "good night",
But that's what I'll be saying at the end of this fight.
You dare challenge me? You must not know who I am
I'm the queen of the night, so best run while you can
Just Who are you anyway? You're a stranger to me
Claim to be a doctor, but I doubt you have a degree
I blocked out the sun all over the world, foal
Travel around in your TARDIS, my night will stay eternal
You'll never catch me, and you can't escape your fate.
Prepare yourself, for it's time for me to Exterminate!
You think you're smart? You have brains made of feather.
Your attempts at discord brought us closer together!
The other villains were unique; you're the weakest evil bred.
You're just little Luna getting up on the wrong side of the bed!
You're kidding, right? You're no match for me at all.
Are you a pegasus or earth pony? Either way, you will fall
Just run like you always do; clearly, I am better,
And thus my victory shall last forever!
I am the very last Time Lord, tried and true.
I’ve had fingers, but need just one for what I want to do.
You will have to forgive me if I seem bored,
But you don't stand a chance against a Time Lord.
You've died many times; I can survive in space.
Take your limey flank and get out of my face!
The reason Ditzy left wasn't from you being untrue -
It was because you let your child be taken from you!
If you think you can beat me, then try your best -
Compared to Bad Wolf, you’re just a small pest.
I’ve fought Daleks and Cyberponies; your threats are rot.
Stetsons and ties are cool. You’re clearly not.
I've been called a god and beaten the devil.
You? You're nowhere near my level.
Your rhymes are all terrible. In space’s vacuum, they stink.
I have one thing to say, Nightmare Woon - don't blink.
“No, I mean that quite literally, don’t blink.” He pointed behind the tall mare.
Confused, she turned, noticing the two statues right behind her, a hair’s width away from touching her tail. She stared at them for a few moments, slowly backing away from them as she did so. Thinking quickly, she grabbed one with her magic and placed it in front of the other, making them stare at each other.
Vinyl and Enigma stared at the scene, unsure what to think about it. He glanced at her and, with a gentle nudge, reminded her that she might want to end the rap battle.
WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
This rap battle is thanks to RLYoshi, and the story part helped by TwilightFox and The Republican Brony. Thanks for the help! Not that much proof-reading done, so we apologize for any spelling/grammar errors.
Just a tiny thing I would like to say. If you’re involved in the bonus chapter, I’d like to have your help writing the part involving your character (and also let me know what color the text for your OC is). If you want to see what we have so far, we’d be happy to send a link to the gdoc your way. You’d have to Pinkie Promise to not share it with others, though.
I apologize for any issues involving how the Doctor (Doctor Whooves?) was portrayed. I can't get into his mindset. I'm sorry. And also please forgive him having an extra turn; it was Vi's idea.
Oh, and comment number 4900 gets to see the bonus chapter or the next rap battle's competitors. Their choice.
Have a nice day!
Enigma out.~
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I think the Doctors got this one, yo.
Whooves.
Also, first.
EDIT: Aaaaaaw. Well, second!
1667205
off by about five seconds, friend.
AAAAaaaand here. NM has better raps so I would vote for her. Just noticed we need over 80 more comments till we hit 4900
I'm pretty sure favoritism will rule out in this rap battle so.... not like it'll count for anything really.
1667208
Oh well. By the way, thanks and keep up the good work.
1667213
you're off by about a hundred there.
Yo! The Doc is in the house tonight!!!
the winner....oh who are we kidding. -distracts nightmare moon so the weeping pegasi get her and declares The Doctor the winner-
While Nightmare Moon did put up a good fight there, I'm gonna have to say the Doctor won.
The Doctor for sure, you cant deny that.
Doctor Whooves Obviusly!
Who is the winner?
-PRECISELY-
The Doctor. And why didn't any one think of doing that to the weeping angels/pegasi/whatever sooner?
The Doctor won.
the doctor won
You've done a better characterization of the Doctor like I would (He won this one, by the way.).
A part of me thought he was gonna pull the same rap routine he did with Doc Brown, but I doubt we'd get a good look at him in his 4th incarnation.
Whooves...dat ending
The Doctor is in the house... and he brought it down!
Doctor, most definitely.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
I vote for the Doctor.
the doc won I think.
You don't get it, do you?
What, are you new?
Please, allow me to remove any nagging doubt,
Then continue to rap with all of my clout.
I am the Doctor,
And this world's new protector.
I was there when time fell, when the time lords died,
You were defeated before you even tried.
We've both lived for over a thousand years,
But alas. I was free to act for mine, dear.
Time is not kind, and you are already rotten,
But I am the Doctor, I will never be forgotten.
You're just little Luna getting up on the wrong side of the bed!
The Doctor crushed it.
I think it was fairly close most of the way through, but the Doctor tore Nightmare Moon to shreds at the end.
Doctor, hooves down.
Who won? Exactly.
my vote is for 'the oncoming storm' AKA The Doctor
and remember to count the shadows and to never blink
I swear the Author just makes the lyrics bad for some of the ponies so the other ones will won, *cough* biast *cough*
Who won? Correct
Luna won that one.
the doctor won no contest
It was obviously John Madden. Anyone who thinks not is wrong, but jokes aside, my potatoes are dying and I have to feed my horseradish.
doctor, yep.
I would say Whooves
Doctor won, hooves down
The Doctor
The Doctor
The Doctor.
ALLONS-Y!!!!!!!!
The Doctor most definately
Doc...
He just got lucky though. Delivering smooth blows throughout this rounds but, Nightmare did deliver the harder stinging blows.... just not enough to win IMO.
The Doctor, no contest.
The Doctor, no question.
I Know It's In The Minority, But I Think Nightmare Won. Also First (Comment Ever By Me On The Site)
MISSPELLED MOUSTACHIO
Both sides had their weak moments, but I have to go with the Doctor.
Ehhh...
I liked both of the characters raps, but I think The Doctor was the victor in the end (even without the extra verse).
No one beats the doctor, also as to his age, he doesn't know what it is himself; so he believes he's 1000 something but it's more like he's many times to exponentially older than that. Nice battle.
Doctor who? doctor win.
The Doctor won the moment he used that wrong side of the bed line.
If the voting is still open i cast my vote in the Tardis. Achem For the Dr.
Doctor Whooves
I like the metal cover of "Doctor Who Theme/I am the Doctor" by Eric Calderone