Epic Rap Battles of MLP

by enigmaMystere

Q&A #1

The camera turns on, revealing a black void. For a few seconds, this is all that can be seen, until, finally, someone opened the door, letting in a little light. The sound of shuffling hooves could be heard, as well as a loud thump. "Ouch! Who the hoof put that there?!"

The lights suddenly flashed to life, revealing a white unicorn sitting behind a turntable-painted desk, with a chair and a couch located adjacent to it. She grinned, nonchalantly readjusting her shades. "Aw, yeah! I finally got it working!" She looked around, a hint of a frown playing across her face. "...where is she?" She pulled out her phone, quickly using her magic to get to a special app. With a deep breath, she cried out into the device.

"EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP: SPECIAL Q&A CHAPTER!"

She paused momentarily, continuing with what may as well have been an afterthought. "NOW PAGING THE MARSHMALLOW! GET YOUR FLANK IN HERE!"

Another white unicorn, this one upset and holding an ear in pain with her magic, trot over, gracefully seating herself. "I was on my way, darling. You didn't have to blast it through those things you call 'speakers'. Also," she gave an even-tempered stare, "I will not tolerate being called a 'marshmallow'. My name is Rarity, so please call me that." She smirked a bit, narrowing her eyes. "Unless you'd like me to call you 'Scratchy'?"

Vinyl tilted her head, an eyebrow quirked. "That's my name, isn't it? Anyways!" She slammed a hoof onto the table, beaming. "You have a question!" She motioned to the white wall behind them, which immediately sprang to life, showing a line of words:

If it's not too personal, Octavia, how did you come to stay with Twilight?

And if it is too personal, Rarity, how was the beach party?

Rarity blinked, turning to look at the other unicorn. "Pardon me, but this also seems to be a question for Octavia."

Vinyl waved a hoof dismissively, grinning. "She'll answer hers next. For now, yours is first!"

Rarity pursed her lips, trying to recall the events of that afternoon. "I remember laying on a towel, sunbathing. The sun feels wonderful on one's fur, after all. After that..." She smiled sheepishly, tapping her forehooves over the edge of the bed. "...well, that was it, actually. I fell asleep."

"And it was hilarious the next day!" The pink pony suddenly sprang up between the two, flailing her forelegs comically. "She was as red as one of Applejack's apples! She forgot the sun block!" She fell over, laughing hysterically.

Rarity's cheeks flushed as she began muttering to herself. "I thought we agreed never to speak of that again." She got up and marched out, the other mare bouncing along happily behind her.

Vinyl decided not to tell them how she'd placed a microphone in the chair's upholstery. They were sensitive enough to catch Fluttershy's quietest squeak. "Okay! Next up is Octavia!"

The grey mare entered slowly, eyeing the camera with a suspicious curiosity. She sat down, an exasperated look on her face. "I'll just answer the question. Miss Sparkle was a good friend of mine ever since the Grand Galloping Gala. I'd lost all credibility that night, and she tried to make it up to me."

"...Octy?" Vinyl dodged the hoof swipe from her roommate, smirking slightly. "That's not what they meant."

Octavia blinked, her ire momentarily forgotten. "...then what do they-" Realization struck her like a lightning bolt, causing her body to stiffen and her cheeks to become rosy. "...oh. No, I don't think of Miss Sparkle like that at all. She's a good friend - nothing more." With that, Octavia stood up and walked away.

Hushed voices could be heard off-stage. "Come on, Fluttershy! Get out there!" Soon, a yellow, trembling pegasus appeared, being guided forward by her other pegasus friend. It took a bit, but they got the timid mare to take a seat, her prismatic-haired friend sitting close by on the couch.

"Alright, then." She smiled kindly at her friend, before noticing the new accessory on the pegasus's head. "Where did you get those goggles, 'Shy? They seem high-tech..."

The mare scrambled to snatch the eyewear from her head and hide it from view, trembling slightly. "Nowhere. They aren't important. What's my question?"

She stared at her for a few seconds, unconvinced. Finally, she just shook her head, gesturing to the wall behind them. "Here's what they had for you, Fluttershy."

If it is ok with you, I would like to ask fluttershy how to get this full grown dragon off my front lawn.

She stared at it for a moment, confused and worried. "...oh...my..." She turned to the white unicorn, concern in her eyes. "...have they tried...talking to it? Maybe...the dragon can be reasoned with?"

"Nah!" The two ponies jumped in surprise at the sudden outburst from the cyan mare. "You just gotta teach them a lesson! Show them that you don't take kindly to intruders!"

Vinyl frowned at her, annoyed by her for some reason. "Dash, the question wasn't for you."

Fluttershy stood up, glancing nervously at the unicorn. "I have to go. Sorry." She walked away, quietly singing to herself. "It's a brand new day, yeah, the sun is high. All the angels sing..." She was out of range of the microphones before the next part could be picked up.

Rainbow, curious and confused, rushed after her friend.

Vinyl stared after them, frowning silently. She looked down, re-organizing a few index cards and mumbling to herself. "...bucking lucky mare..." Her head snapped up so quickly her glasses flew off and landed on the desk, revealing her shocked expression. "...the microphones...no..." She awkwardly cleared her throat, scrambling to put her shades back on and glancing at her cards to help get her back on track. "Up next, we have Discord!"

A panel opened up, revealing the sun. Thankfully, it was dimmed down, allowing the Spirit of Chaos to be seen clearly. He chuckled, resting his head on his mismatched forelimbs. "Ah, I do enjoy randomness!"

Vinyl coughed softly, holding a card up to read aloud. "Here is your question!"

Discord how is it in your new home and did you get a warm welcome?

He laughed, causing the hostess to worry slightly. "I quite enjoy it! Still, I miss being free." He smirked, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You'll see me again soon, Vinyl Scratch. You can bet on that." With that, the panel closed, hiding the once-more blindingly bright light.

"MY EYES!!"

Vinyl stared at the doorway, seeing a gray-purple unicorn filly running past, tears and smoke flowing from her eyes. She sweatdropped, turning to her notes once more. "Now, it's Diamond Tiara!"

The prideful little filly trot into the room, sitting down and staring up at the unicorn, a bored look on her face. "What do you have for me? I'll bet it's a great question. After all, it's about me! I'll answer anything!" She emphasized that last point with a wide gesture, smugly smiling. She quite obviously enjoyed attention.

Vinyl rolled her eyes behind her glasses, smirking for the umpteenth time that day. "If you say so, Ti. Here's your question."

Hm... a question eh? Well, this one's for... Diamond Tiara. What did you mean by

The other one glared at her rival, annoyed. "So how'd yer tryout go?"
She waved her hoof dismissively. "They said I was too young. The nerve of-" She stopped, looking up at the shocked unicorn in front of her. "...oops."

? Did you really tryout? And for what?

The speed at which the blush covered her face would've made even Rainbow Dash jealous. Turning to the DJ, she put on her best cute-sad face. "...I don't really have to answer that, do I?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "You did say you would 'answer anything', Ti! So, what's your answer?"

Tiara fidgeted, trying to think of a way out of answering the question. Finally realizing there was no avoiding it, she hung her head, groaning softly. "...I tried out for a position at Playcolt magazine..."

Vinyl sat there, her shades sliding down her nose a bit. Anyone who was looking could see her eye twitching violently. "...Ti, I know you're about to be eighteen, but come on! Why the buck would you do that!?"

She squirmed in her seat, tears coming to her eyes. "...I...I..." She sprang up and ran off, crying in shame.

Vinyl groaned, rubbing her head in pain. "...I need a break..." Stepping out from behind the desk, she moved over to the couch, laid down on her belly.

A rust-red pegasus walked in, grabbing the chair with his teeth and moving it near Vinyl's head. He sat down and, carefully removing her shades, began to massage her head.

Sighing in relief as the ache began to ebb, she opened her eyes and looked up, magenta eyes locking with maroon. She blinked once before grinning, recognizing him immediately. "E! Good to see you, dude!" She hoped up, wrapping him in a delighted hug and playfully ruffling his brown mane.

He chuckled, gently patting her back. "I can say the same, Vi." He smiled at her, a slightly mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "I hear you have some questions."

She nervously giggled, rubbing the back of her head. "Yeah, I do."

"Well, here they are!" He gestured to the wall, smiling happily as words began to form.

Where the hell did you get a cell phone and a motorcycle Vinyl Scratch?...............

anyway I'm confused on how Vinyl is able to use a cell phone and motorcycle with her hooves, also Spike/Sweetie Belle?

She looked at the questions, unamused. "...I manipulate them with magic. After all, I made them." The red pegasus gave her a deadpan look. "...alright, so I only made the motorcycle. The cell phone was more of a gift from someone else."

E nodded, smiling genially. "Glad you're being honest." He stayed seated, watching his friend sit on the other side of the desk once more. "And I'll assume the rest of the questions are for me?"

Vinyl grinned cheekily, nodding. "Yeah, dude. Here's your first two!" The wall behind them lit up once more, showing the two separate quotes.

Man, what is up with Silver Spoon? And Sweetie? I NEED TO KNOW!

Seriously, what happened to Silver spoon?

E tapped his chin, thinking for a bit. "...I don't know for sure, but I think she was watching something involving somepony named 'Vash'..." At that point, the gray filly rushed in, shaking her head fervently, her eyes wide in horror. "...uh...never mind?" She gave him an appreciative smile, walking off. He turned to Vinyl, smirking slightly. "Her cutie mark doesn't stand for pretentiousness. It stands for collecting."

She stared at him, confused. "...like...a spoon collection?"

He shrugged, his smile refusing to vanish. "I suppose so, but it's not limited to that. After all, there's a reason she has that headband with a metal plate on it."

The DJ was about to ask him to elaborate, but, noticing the clock on the wall, decided there wasn't enough time. "Next question, then."

How do you guys like my weeping pegasus
Now my question, why are there so many shippings?

He looked at it for a long while, wearing his best poker face. "...honestly? I have too many ships, and this is the best way to get them out there. Need to express them in some way, after all." He flashed her a smile.

Vinyl laughed, hugging E around his shoulders. "That is just so pathetic!" Ignoring the slight pout on his face, she motioned to someone off-camera. "Last question!"

Hey who is that stallion with the beanie from the last rap battle chapter?? He was just a random!! (submitted via PM)

He frowned, facehoofing hard. "...darn it, I knew somepony would notice..." He sighed, looking up with a somewhat-defeated expression. "That was the OC of a good friend of mine. I call the OC Nostalgia, but he didn't really give him a name. That's all you need to know." He sighed, getting up and heading toward the door. He paused, looking over his shoulder at his friend. "Oh, and Vi?"

She blinked, stopping her card-shuffling to look at him. "Yeah, E?"

A mischievous smile appeared on his face. "You're still a virgin, right?" He playfully stuck his tongue and laughed, running out the room as she flung the notecards at him.

She leaned back, crossing her forehooves, knowing that an embarrassed blush was visible on her cheeks. "...baka..."

---

Please note that my OC is only going to be here for the Q&A chapter(s). Also, the next two (three?) rap battles are being worked on. I hope to hear from my friend soon so I can work on the next one a bit more...also, can you find the hidden reference(s)? Also, this is #1 because I'm thinking of having more of these thingies, if they're popular enough.

Please remember to check out my blog, and have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

P.S. There was a question that wasn't answered. I understand that it's a little upsetting, Mr. Blahman, but I can't have them answer that one right now. The question?

When you started to do rap battles, was it partly because it looked fun the way the adult ponies did it? (question directed towards the colts and fillies for the Q&A

As for why I can't let them answer it? I'll tell you next chapter.

Comments

[Lazypoisonfl]

Great chapter as always

Also, teasing vinyl like that

[Kitsuneisuki]

1176016 FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

CHK-CHK.

*BOOM*

[bloodwolf432]

I'm just wondering if Vinyl knew what would happen after the first Rap Battle. It just seems like something you should've expected to happen

[Candy Drop]

Poor Vinyl.

[Axel Nyan]

Eh? I actually got a question here? MY QUESTION GOT FEATURED ON THIS GREAT MASTERPIECE?!

mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5319_small.png

Here, have a Ditzy.

mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7539-FillyDerpy.icantstopwatchingit_77470b_3990615.gif

[JellyMyst]

A Dr. Horrible/Adorable AND a Trigun reference in one chapter?!
My day has been made at half past 12 in the morning today. That's a new record, I think!
By the by, are there any references I missed?

[Mikoyose]

I can't wait for the next chapter, and the next Q&A

1176337
Headshot! Killtacular!

[enigmaMystere]

1176443
...actually, i think you found one i didn't purposely put in. tell me, what reminded you of trigun?

[Big-X]

Dr. Horrible Shy? okay, but who is captain hammer then?

[Blahman2816]

What about my question?

[Vulpibard]

1176443
darn, you beet me to it.
anywho, I never though of fluttters being Dr. horrible, that made my day

[enigmaMystere]

1176480
...oh, buck, i must've missed it. ...um...could i please have it again, real quick? maybe i can add it before too many people read it...

EDIT: i edited the chapter. i couldn't answer the question do to reasons.

[JellyMyst]

1176462

E tapped his chin, thinking for a bit. "...I don't know for sure, but I think she was watching something involving somepony named 'Vash'..."

The name Vash reminded me of Vash the Stampede. But I guess you were thinking of another Vash.
Come to think of it. I wouldn't know what sort of conection there is to Trigun in context.
I guess I was just being stupid.

[enigmaMystere]

1176498>>1176467
see this bloggy blargle blog.

[Hecatia]

Baka? As in idiot? Or what?
I don't get that last word....

[enigmaMystere]

1176507
no, you had it right, i just forgot about it. my bad.

[JellyMyst]

1176498 Dr. Adorable's Ask-Along Blog.
You're welcome.

[JellyMyst]

1176516 Now you're the one that beat me to it.

[enigmaMystere]

1176517
it's japanese for idiot.

[Hecatia]

1176532
Oh yay I'm correct!
....Wait since when Vinyl can talk Japanese

[JellyMyst]

1176519 Don't worry. I often want to point something out in a comment after reading a fan-fic on this side, only to discover I can't find the quote anymore. No harm done right?
I'm loving this whole "Everyone replies to everyone, thus going in a loop foreeeeeeever " thing going on here, by the way.

[ZayneTheMayne]

1176462 I think he got it by the name 'Vash' you put in. Also love the very end.

[enigmaMystere]

1176560
honestly? it's how i make friends.

[Namara]

IS she a virgin?
also, question for luna. how did you feel when celestia interfered with your rap battle?

[Faust Fan Five]

This sounds funny.... Will read.

[ThisAccountisDead420]

My question was put on! I am so happy I could yell yay! *breathes in* yay..

[ThisAccountisDead420]

Oh and the dragon wouldn't leave...

[Warren Peace]

"...I tried out for a position at Playcolt magazine..."

Me:

[Lazypoisonfl]

1176337 oh boy you missed the shot
Now my weeping pegasus, do me a favor and get rid of this pony

[muffinflavouredcake]

I still don't get what happened in the basement scene with Spike, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara and the Weeping Pegasi
(or what is supposed happen later on)

[SuperChaosKG]

1176429

I think you mean Derpy trying to imitate Ditzy.

[fatmanspencer]

I like it!

[SuperChaosKG]

So a rust red pegasus, and a white pegasus in a purple suit discuss creating strange duels using rapping and insults in a magical land of ponies for the amusement of other creatures who happen to be adults and watch said ponies, even though it was never marketed to them.

Hmmm...

myorganisedmess.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/seems-legit-jpg.png

(I guess it just makes more sense in context? )

[Axel Nyan]

1177227 mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw4304_small.jpg

[Cpl Hooves]

Woo hoo! 1st question! I'm strangely proud of this!

[SuperChaosKG]

1177288

Actually, in this story's context (which, even by the author's ending alone) shows that their sisters, Yeahhhh, I'm think I'm right.

[paper bag wizard]

1176429 that pic of derpy is so bucking cute

[Axel Nyan]

1177300 ... Again, his headcannon, not mine. So again,
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw4304_small.jpg

[SuperChaosKG]

1177309
But...

Nyeh...

Oh...

WHY IT SO CUTE?!

You may win this round, Gadjet, but you'll never win the war! THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!

[Axel Nyan]

1177322 mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4052-E3WEs.gif
Because why not?

[Blahman2816]

1176503

question to any/all colts and fillies who rapped: Why did you decide to rap? Was it because it looked fun the way the adults did it?

You can save it for the second Q and A

[SuperChaosKG]

1177334

STOP!! YOU'RE GIVING ME DIABETIES!!

*Whips head back and forth*

*Sees coast is clear*

*Saves gif*

YEAH, LEAVE ME 'LONE!!

[SuperChaosKG]

1177334

You even made me name it!

(Skip Skip Skip Scootaloo. Skip Skip Skip Applebloom. Skip Skip Skip with these two and Sweetie Belle my darling!

[GuyInTheCorner]

Well, great chapter.

1177283

My thoughts exactly. I mean, why not settle differences with MAGIC? Well, for unicorns, at least.

And five spikes for you.

[Explosion Pony]

the only references I noticed were fluttershy singing "brand new day" (which I'm sure you saw the comic version).

And "Vash" as in "Vash the Stampede" from the anime Trigun

great chapter.

[SuperChaosKG]

1177465

Becuase silly, MAGIC is too cheap a concept and telling a good story overrides context. Examples:

Hunger Games: The districts can't rise up against the capital.

Logic Dictates: In order for said capitol to stop ALL of them, it would have to be AT LEAST 50% of the nation. There's no way that they are still there after all of this bullshit.

But for story purposes: They still survive. How, with such a disadvantage?

kauilapele.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/magic.gif

But wait. I just said magic was too cheap a- Oh Goddamit!

[GuyInTheCorner]

1177501

Well, I guess that sets me straight. MAGIC! is a cheap, exploitable concept.

Still, the fact that fillies can rap AND are great at it AND free-styling still perplexes me.

[The Libertarian Brony]

I was not satisfied with the answer to my question. I was expecting something a bit more outlandish......... Oh well!

[Pinkie Cake]

3000th!

[enigmaMystere]

1177594
congrats! you get to choose who lyra raps against in the 15th/16th battle! could you send it in a pm, please?