Rap Battle #26
The two ponies sat in the bed, laughing brightly. The dark red stallion wiped a tear from his eye, trying to compose himself so he could continue. “T-then you said ‘get the mares there to take your ugly face on!’ That was great!” He fell back into laughter, doing his best to be as calm as possible when he saw his love about to speak.
“Your expression was priceless! I almost thought your mind melted!” She poked him in the chest, cheekily grinning.
He blushed slightly, a sly smile beginning to form. “But it was nothing compared to how you reacted to one of my lines.” He tapped a hoof against his chin, acting as if he was trying to remember. “What was it, again? Oh, right!” He booped her nose, chuckling softly. “‘Take your turntables and head off into the sunset...”
Her eyes narrowed slightly, her grin slowly beginning to fade. “...don’t you dare finish th-”
He placed his hoof on her lips, silencing her. “‘...it’s the closest to a ‘happy ending’ you’ll ever get.’” He laughed, holding his hooves up as she thumped him on the shoulder. “You didn’t let me finish, Vi!”
She blinked, confused. “...but...it was my turn after that, wasn’t it?”
Enigma turned to her, smiling softly. “It seems as though I was wrong.” He pulled her close, pressing his forehead against hers. “...and I’m glad...”
Vinyl sighed, melting into his embrace. “...so am I, E...so am I...” They stayed there like that for a few more minutes, enjoying the simple act of being so close to each other.
He cracked open an eye, a small smirk on his lips. “...still can’t believe you used to have a ‘safety record’, though.” He stuck his tongue out playfully.
The white mare thumped him on the shoulder once more, not even bothering to open her eyes. “...shut up, baka...” She cuddled closer to him, resting her head against his chest. A small smile of her own started to form on her face.
“...my baka...”
The next morning, the two lovebirds were travelling down the street. They chatted idly about music and the weather, glad that the Ponyville pegasi had made it a partially cloudy day - not too hot, not too cold.
They entered Sugarcube Corner and stared, perplexed. In front of them, two gray pegasi and one pink pony were arguing. Well, the first two were arguing - the brightly colored mare was just talking.
“Come on, Pinkie!” The slightly darker of the twins said, glaring harshly at the bubbly baker. “We know you took it, so give it back!”
Pinkie just giggled and smiled brightly, bouncing up and down as she moved around, taking orders to customers. “I didn’t take your key, silly filly!” She hoofed a donut to a spotted colt before turning to the two pegasi, the same bubbly smile on her face. “Why would I want it, anyways?”
The lighter one raised an eyebrow, her crossed eyes doing their best to focus on the brightly-colored mare. “Just last week you were begging to go into the Doctor’s...erm...house.” She coughed slightly, trying to pull attention away from the almost-slip-up.
Vinyl and Enigma had watched this from the doorway, blankly staring. The former turned to the spotted colt, rightly concerned. “...Pip, how long has that disagreement been going on?”
The earth pony turned to the disk jockey, shrugging helplessly. “Ever since I arrived, sis. The sisters Doo are getting rather angry, though.”
The couple looked at each other, sighing softly. The stallion looked at the three ponies, frowning slightly. “...I suppose there’s only one way for this to end, huh?”
The white unicorn raised a hoof to her face, groaning softly. “...of course...”
He sighed, turning around. “I’ll set everything up.”
Vinyl sat down behind her turntables, smiling softly at the red pegasus right next to her. She began setting up the track, shivering slightly as a wing teasingly traced her spine. She playfully bumped him, blushing brightly and biting her lower lip. “Later, E.”
The feathery appendage paused for a second before pulling away. The pony attached to it frowned a little, looking over at the rappers in front of them. He noticed how the both chose to wear glasses, although Pinkie’s also had false eyebrows and a clown nose on it. Derpy’s was a simple yet stylish pair of black shades. He noticed a similar looking mare in the crowd and started to wonder if he was going mad or just seeing things.
Another thought crossed his mind when he noticed that a certain yellow mare wasn’t around. He started to grow worried, hoping that she was alright.
Something touched his hindleg, causing him to jump. He glanced down, seeing a white hoof resting gently on his knee. He glanced over at the disk jockey, seeing the seductive tone conveyed in her smouldering gaze. “...don’t worry...I’ll make sure it’s worth the wait.~”
Vinyl turned back to the turntable, giggling at the sputtering her words caused Enigma. She flicked the switch, starting the music. She grinned, feeling more alive than she ever had before.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
VS.
BEGIN!
Let's kick off this par-tay, girl! I'm the element of laughter.
Little known fact: I'm also a world-class rapper!
Put down that mic, silly filly, have a muffin instead
I got Balloons in My Basket-- you've got bees in your head!
You getting scared, already? Why am I not Surprised?
This is a mare who can't even look me straight in the eyes.
Is that your twin, or split personality?
What can you do, schizo-fritz, drop a piano on me?
I think you’ve got me confused with my sis.
Both my eyes are on you, so get ready for this.
You don’t scare me; I’ve run off worse threats.
With Horsepower at my side, I’ll never fret.
You bed so many stallions, you’re a walking disease!
You run on pure sugar - or, should I say, speed?
Wise up! We don’t want your smack here, Pie.
Why don’t you just go and watch paint dry?
I'm random! I'm crazy! I don't get confused.
I'm supercharged, so I've got MY eye on YOU.
It's true I'm hyper, I'm speedy, but not like that
It just takes somepony special to outrun Rainbow Dash.
It's time to cook up a solution with the knowledge I've accrued,
I'm a culinary gypsy and a mistress of food.
Just because you can see me doesn't mean good rhymes will follow
By the way-- who do you think BAKES all those muffins you swallow?
Pinkie please, let's be real; your parties are a total bore.
And your muffins are the only thing you're good for!
You think we're all naive, but for Celestia's sake,
Everypony knows about your affair with Mister Cake!
My eyes don't have to be right to see your true colors
Pink isn't on the list. You crave attention from others.
You're lonely, and think you'll get friends by making them laugh.
You're just jealous that I have somepony who loves me back.
WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
Vinyl turned off the music, smiling softly at the red pegasus next to her. “Come on, E. I think it’s time you and I had some fun.” She winked at him, teasingly brushing up against him. “You know you want to.~”
He looked at her for a few moments, processing what she said before rolling his eyes. “For you, Vi, we can go play some pranks.” He chuckled, seeing her pump her hoof in joy out of the corner of his eye.
A black alicorn was shouting every curse she could think of, slamming her head against the crumbling walls of the deserted castle. “Those two lovebirds are so annoying!” A charcoal hoof alighted on her shoulder. Turning to look, she saw the other mare smirking deviously.
“Don’t worry. I have everything planned out.” Her lips slowly parted, revealing her fangs, glistening with anticipation.
“Soon.”
Thanks to ForeverFreest and Noah from Antisocial Inc. for helping me with this rap battle! 
For some reason, I couldn’t get started on this one. 
Oh, and thanks to Lazypoisonfl for the idea involving the first scene between Vi and E, and raybony for his help with the establishing section! 
Not sure if I can keep this pace up. State and Local Politics take up more time than I’d like, and I apparently need more than three hours a day devoted to Computer Science. 
...I hope I can make it through this...
Ponies in the title cards don’t match the descriptions because I couldn’t find two unique vectors of each of them wearing said glasses.
Have a nice day!
Enigma out.~
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Mucho gusta
Pinkie.
Pinkie won.
derpy
Pinkie. Derpy's assault was weak.
Silver out!
This one ->
I'm voting for Pinkie
Even thou I like Derpy better.
I vote derpy.
About time I started voting.
DERPY!!!! DERPY FOREVER!!!! ALL HAIL DERPY!!
Derpy, she landed so many solid hits and pinkie only managed to comeback to a few of them.
Pinkie won.
Derpy was damn harsh on those last ones.
Pinkie.
Derpy hit home on that last set.
DERPY WON, NUFF SAID.
Pinkie won.
Sorry Derpy!
Derpy
To be blunt... Pinkie's flow, or rather lack thereof, left a lot to be desired.
My vote goes to Derpy.
dat last line........... 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m13h2gdc8i1rrnep7o1_400.gif
NMM and Chryssy vs. Vinyl and Enigma TAG TEAM RAP BATTLE!!!!
Five Derpy's!!
Derpy came off a bit weak in her attack., so I'm gonna go for Pinks here
In the honor of this battle being about the TARDIS.Key, I post my opinion in Gallopfreyan:
won.
25.media.tumblr.com/38d3006a222d1ad4ffad6c2c825c5d8a/tumblr_mhcbltAT931rgdf2wo1_500.png
Also:
-Jolly Roger
Derpy didn't have any real good lines until the last one. Too little, too late in my opinion; my vote is for Pinkie
Ciao darling
Arrrggghhhh, this is the closest rap battle yet. Pinkie Pie opened strong but Derpy finished strong, and both were sorta weak in the middle, but one line from Pinkie Pie
Is clearly backpedalling, which is a major loss of points in my book.
Ergo, Derpy Wins
This rap was just mean. They each threw horrible insults at each other, and I just can't vote for one or the other.
Even though i hate to admit it pinkie won. Also why is there a white unicorn horn in pinkies card
Derpy won this one, but I'm glad that Pinkie didn't reference "Cupcakes" like last time.
Pinkie so won!
Go to Tartarus Derp
Pinkie won; Derpy was scrabbling to find something that would even affect Pinkie.
She had to delve into just plain rude territory to even get close, and the battle ended before it could crack Pinie's exterior exuberance.
Trust me, man: COLLEGE WORK COMES FIRST. Now excuse me while I go follow my own advice.
I vote Pinkie Pie. Derpy didn't seem to be trying all that hard.
Derpy won
I'm voting for Derpy this time, actually.
2036390 that is not unicorn horn it's a paper cone for cotton candy.
That was a touch vicious, and rather poor on both sides.
But I did like the opener, it made me think of the open to Adolf vs. Vader.
Man, that was really close but I think Pinkie Pie got it in the end.
Tick tick toc,
it's time to rock.
Gotta rap fast to slam this one,
but when I'm done we'll all know who won.
Pinkie, my girl, that was quiet the show
But I don't mean the raps, you Hoover for blow!
Charlie Sheen called, he wants to play.
This I have to wonder, how much does he pay?
The good lady Doo just barely passed this test.
But don't fret amiga, at least you can find West.
I would like to say Pinkie but I have to go with Derpy.
despite the gypsy reference, I'm gonna have to go with Derpy
Derpy wins.
Pinkie. Sorry derpy, but pinkie won with the second stanza.
Derpy, wasn't even close.
It was a draw
What would you do if the results were a draw?
2036499 Wow, I was wondering if anyone would get that reference.
Well. It's not really an official vote, obviously, but
And good job E.
Pinkie won.
My vote would have been for Pinkie... until the last line.
My vote is for Derpy.
Hail to the muffin mare.
