• Member Since 22nd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

enigmaMystere


An author who loves to write stories with hidden and not-so-hidden references in them. Also has a friend who shares his account and loves to chat with people. "'Sup!"

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Something I just couldn't get off my mind until I wrote it down. Be warned: the ponies in these battles really go off on each other. Almost exactly like it is in "Epic Rap Battles of History", except with less cursing. There's plenty of verbal bashing, though.

Vinyl Scratch is the DJ for most of these battles, and will be doing the all-caps commentary (except for the ones she's in, of course). OC tag because of slight self-insert.

I've heard that this story is better when read with someone else. You know, with each person doing one half of the rap battle? :derpytongue2:

List of Rap Battles (as per request)
#1: Twilight Sparkle vs. Rainbow Dash
#2: Pinkie Pie vs. Rarity
#3: Spa Sisters vs. Flim Flam Brothers
#4: Octavia vs. Vinyl Scratch
#5: Angel vs. Gummy
#6: Derpy Hooves (Ditzy Doo?) vs. Lyra Heartstrings
#7: Princess Luna vs. Discord
#8: Scootaloo vs. Pipsqueak
#9: Fluttershy vs. Screwball
#10: Apple Bloom vs. Diamond Tiara
#11: Trixie vs. Featherweight
#12: Silver Spoon vs. Spike
#13: Sweetie Belle vs. Queen Chrysalis
#14: Applejack vs. Carrot Top
#15: Bon-Bon vs. Lyra Heartstrings
#16: Twilight Sparkle vs. Rainbow Dash (rematch!)
#17: Big Macintosh vs. Shining Armor
#18: Iron Will vs. Photo Finish
#19: Gilda vs. Prince Blueblood
#20: Nightmare Moon vs. the Doctor (Doctor Whooves)
#21: Princess Celestia vs. Princess Luna
#22: Snips and Snails vs. Twist and Ruby Pinch
#23: Braeburn vs. Soarin'
#24: Zecora vs. Cheerilee
#25: Winona vs. Opalescence
#26: Derpy Hooves vs. Pinkie Pie
#27: Spitfire vs. Daring Do
#28: Princess Cadence vs. Queen Chrysalis
#29: Babs Seed vs. Lightning Dust
#30: Sunset Shimmer vs. Trixie *
#31: tba

Picture by Silversnow here on this site.

...should there be a 'sex' tag, considering some of the stuff brought up in the rap battles? :applejackunsure:

Chapters (75)
Comments ( 7569 )

Very nice. The intro worked really well here. Considerably less jarring than the previous one. Just a note that you accidentally left the final two lines in Rarity's white text.I think you might benefit from adding an image card of the ERB logo or a modified one. Even the simplest image is better than no image and the ERB logo should be instantly recognisable to fans. :twilightsmile:

I'm siding with Rarity on this one. :raritystarry: Pinkie better stand back because Rarity's classy brand of burns is here to stay. :pinkiesick:

Dat ending. :pinkiecrazy: Yep, this is good. Cainiam likie. Cainiam likie a lot. :pinkiehappy:

Going to have to side with RD on this one. :rainbowdetermined2: Twilight almost had it, but that "Want it, need it" line cinched it for Rainbow. :twilightangry2:

RD had that in the bag. The Wonderbolts line just didn't do anything, and then the "want it need it" just ended it.

I guess I will be the first one to give it to Twilight, It was a close one though.

Meh. No offense, but this wasn't as great as i was hoping it to be. I didn't understand why RD said Big Mac liked fat mares, and then called Twilight fat. That would mean that he likes her, right? :unsuresweetie:

I promise, I WILL read this later. Mark my words...

Gotta go with Pinke Pie, if you mess up a rhyme, its all over...

634242
...RD never said big mac liked fat mares. :unsuresweetie: where did you get that from?

I'm sorry but I have to disagree
Rarity's the one who got third degree
I'm sorry for my rap but your just a pour sap.
So leave now, Before I start to cap.:pinkiehappy:

Im going with twilight

She was holding a hacksaw, wasn't she?

Tell me I'm wrong...or more importantly, tell me why they call it a hacksaw...:pinkiecrazy:

634278 LOL I read that wrong, but either way, it still seemed lacking.

pinkie was good but rarity seemed to get more hits in ill go with rarity she did get many minus points for not rhymeing.

Do a Spike on please Do Spike vs Twilight family vs faimly.

I love it keep up the good work :scootangel:

weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dis-gon-b-gud.gif

and and the way i think twilight won for sure:scootangel:

@Romeo Love

Pardon my intrusion about what you just said
But to think Pinkie lost you must've lost your head.
Rarity failed to rhyme once, that's worst than taking a long pause.
So pardon me sir, I do believe Rarity simply lost.

Okay, i was tempted to write that when i saw your comment....sorry. :pinkiesad2:
As for the author, i love you for making this. :pinkiehappy:

i side with Rainbow Dash on this one for some reason.

LOL when I saw the title I was like "Oh sh:pinkiegasp:t this has gotta be good!" You don't disappoint. :pinkiehappy:

I dunno, both had good stuff but I feel as if RD got this one. :rainbowkiss:

Gak

Very good:moustache:. Oh, and first or something like that.

... I want to see fluttershy destroy someone in one of these... :flutterrage: anyone?

Sh:pinkiegasp:t this one's too close for me to call.

Gotta go with the Spa sisters on this one.

YELLOW IS SO HARD TO READ!!! :flutterrage:

holy crap pinkie blew rarity out of the water

thats awsome dude!

as much as I hate to say it, flim flam brothers definitely won that

634430 Have you tried setting the background to 'dark'?

epic, cool, badass, what else?

634491 Up near the top of the screen, above and to the right of the text, is a set of three drop-down boxes. Set the right-most one to 'dark', and enjoy reading yellow text. :twilightsmile:

Dash owned this one, Twi had some good ones but Dash brought it home. :rainbowdetermined2:

Twilight nuked the round with that last line! Twilights the winner in my book. :twilightsmile:

I have to give to to Pinkie on this one, especially with that last line.:pinkiecrazy:

The Spa Sisters are the winners here, no question.

Rarity looses to best pony! :raritycry: (Don't say it if it don't rhyme b:yay:tch!)
Go Pinkie! :pinkiehappy:

Boo Flim and Flam! All your lines sucked! :twilightangry2:

I love to get into these more than I should. It's too easy and fun! :pinkiehappy:

Hah, I hope ponys getting curious about who Vinyls talking too becomes a recurring gag. :twilightsmile:

For the next round, I choose (If you would allow it. :twilightblush:) Discord vs Chysalis

Gotta tell you, I don't know how much the 4th wall will be able to take. But nice last line XD and the forever at the beginning was hilarious

Solution to your picture problem: Have you considered MicTheMicrophone's Epic Pony Rap Battles of Equestria?

Spa sisters won by a landslide. They burned them with true past experiences that cannot be argued. That was a good rap battle.
As for the next one: CELESTIA VS LUNA!!!! You know you want to see that.

634584
you mean this pic?
4.bp.blogspot.com/-BqudAd57Veo/TvzLctkyQpI/AAAAAAAAZoI/s75fpdxeHlo/s1600/Battle.png
because i'm not really sure i should. not as recognizable as the current one...
then again, there is also this picture that i found:
i49.servimg.com/u/f49/13/89/01/70/rainbo10.png
though, to be honest, i've been avoiding any similar projects. i didn't want to accidentally copy something and be called a fraud or what have you.

RD, for sure...dear lord! I just had an idea! Someone should totally skim through as many OC stories as they can find, and do this for OCs! I think that would just be awesome.

634706
...are you implying something, dear sir? :unsuresweetie:
though, to be honest, that's not a bad idea. i might go along with that...
...later on, if at all. :twilightblush:

634311
634572
634622
the few comments that actually suggested a next one. let me be clear on one thing, though:
nopony will be submitted to a battle twice...unless popular demand asks for it. :scootangel:
i will take all of these into consideration. :twilightsmile:

Totally the spa sisters. I sing, and while it is hard to sing most of these (not quite enough words to finish the line well), such was not the case with their rhymes. I could sing their parts.

If not, I would consider doing it. I sing, and I feel I might start rapping...I can work with rhymes, and I'm familiar with a good number of OCs on the site.

634295
keep in mind, it was my first attempt. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png
the others get better (at least, i hope so). :twilightblush:
...maybe it's the lack of cursing? :applejackunsure:

Fluttershy vs. a dragon, anyone? :ajsmug:

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