//------------------------------// // Rap Battle #14 and Rap Battle #7: Alternate Aftermath // Story: Epic Rap Battles of MLP // by enigmaMystere //------------------------------// Vinyl blinked, surprised she wasn't groggy at all this time around. "...maybe I'm starting to get used to it?" She glanced around, confused by the sudden darkness. "...is it nighttime here? Or maybe it's just my shades?" She reached up, slowly curling her hoof around the frame and lifting it from her- Vinyl froze, eyes wide in shock. She let go of her glasses and raised her foreleg to her face, just as the moon suddenly trade places with the sun. "...what...the...hoof?" She no longer had hooves. If anything, the appendage in front of her looked like one of the drawings a certain sea-green pony had made. She turned it over, examining it in the purple filter of her glasses. Even though the glasses made everything darker, she could immediately tell that her fur - no, she didn't even have fur. Her skin was a dark brown, and the side where her... What did Lyra call them? Fingers? Whatever they were, the side they curled up into was a lighter color. She could also feel the weight of cloth on her body, but, from her view point, it was near impossible to see what she was wearing. Slowly, she peered out of the alley she'd found herself in. In front of her was a familiar tree, which eased the panic that began in her heart. So if that's Twi's place... She glanced to the left, smiling proudly. ...then this one's mine! There was a window in front of her, so she decided to take a peek inside. Another her - this universe's, most likely; seems like I'm skipping dimensions, anyways - sat in her comfy chair, a clear expression of nervousness on her face. Vinyl was glad to see that her hair was the same as before, but was surprised by the fact she was wearing a shirt that said 'Aerosmith' and shorts that were...well, really short. A rather tall, peach-skinned figure was standing nearby, draped in the purest white dress Vinyl had ever seen, staring at the sun to make sure Discord (if this was, indeed, the time she assumed it was) didn't escape. Her flowing pastel-colored hair instantly made clear that this was the princess of the sun. How the hay does she stay up on two legs? Especially with those masses on her barrel! Octavia and Fluttershy sat on the couch nearby, but weren't immediately recognizable as such. The former wore a white dress shirt with a black bow-tie and skirt, and had her raven-black mane held back out of her tan-skinned face with an elastic band. Sorta reminds me of AJ's tail. She was holding a book of music theory, glancing up occasionally to make sure the white bunny in the room stayed out of trouble. The latter wore a loose canary-yellow sweater and...actually, it was hard to tell what was on her withers. The sweater almost completely covered her frail frame, down to her knees. She focused her teal eyes on her tea, hiding behind her pink mane in an attempt to not draw attention to herself. Outside, it continued to rain chocolate milk out of pink cotton candy clouds. Finally, the silence was broken, and by Celestia, no less. "Who won? I need to know." Vinyl coughed softly, pulling out her phone and counting the votes, not wanting to make the powerful princess wait longer than necessary. Her eye twitched, having added up all the votes. "...Discord won..." "Splendid!" Another voice? Vinyl glanced around, confused. Why does that sound so familiar? "I'll just make sure the precious people of Equestria keep doing rap battles! And if they refuse...well, let's just hope they don't refuse, hmm?" Vinyl blinked, bemused. "...that's it? Really?" Celestia became outraged, slamming her foreleg against a wall. "Discord! You want them to fight only so you can grow more powerful!" "Ah, you see right through me, don't you?" Vinyl was hyperventilating, eyes wide in shock. She remembered beating this guy once. Despite how calm she was, she knew it was only because he wasn't at full power. What can they possibly do!? "Oh? And who are you supposed to be?" She gasped and, in a state of panic, turned and uppercut the unknown character in the jaw. "SHORYUKEN!" As the strangely-shaped figure (even by that dimension's standards) fell in an arc to the ground, unconscious, Vinyl felt the familiar pull and was wisked away once more. Universe Alpha Fluttershy quietly walked through the market, examining her list with a calm expression. "...Angel Bunny's been so good, lately...even when that loud, high-pitched scream woke him up last night...he deserves a nice salad..." She carefully put the list in her sack, a flash of worry crossing her face. "...I hope they have enough cherries..." "WHAT DID YOU DO!?" With a squeak of shock, she hid behind a nearby tent, peering out at two mares in a loud, intense debate. They gestured angrily, pointing accusing hooves at one another. Fluttershy had no idea what they were angry about, though. Maybe it had something to do with the smashed carts behind them? She quietly sneaked forward to hear better. "...couldn't bear that mah fam'ly's goods taste better, huh? Ya had ta try 'n' frame me, too, didn'tcha, Golden!" "The name's Carrot Top! And that's awfully specific, coming from you! I bet you did all of this, Jaquelin!" "Don't call me that, ya varmint! I-" Suddenly, they both turned to stare at the approaching yellow pegasus. Grins began to form on their faces. Needless to say, Fluttershy was becoming worried. "...um...h-hi?" They turned to each other and then, with a decisive nod and a shared glare, rounded on the poor timid mare. "We want a rap battle!" Soon enough, Fluttershy found herself back behind the turntables, watching the two earth ponies get ready to rap against each other, glaring and putting on their headsets. She sighed and turned her mike volume up. "Be unbiased be unbiased be unbiased..." She glanced at a camera that apparently appeared on the stage, and, with a nervous smile (not to mention a cute sound), began the music. EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP! VS. BEGIN! I'm a carrot farmer, baby. I grow greens! I'm certainly Ponyville's farming queen! You can't win a rodeo, but claim to be superior? You work with fruits, AJ, and those are clearly inferior. Those sugar-filled apple treats are complete poison. They'll make you fat like this mare, so you'd better run! My carrots, however, are completely sugar-free! And that, my friends, is a golden guarantee! What th' hay, Golden?! Are ya pushin' yer wares? Are ya really that bad, or completely unprepared? Besides, our apples are clearly up on top. Ya use yer carrots when ya feel tha need ta clop! Filly, mah apples are mighty pleasin'. Yer a ripe tree an' it's Applebuck Season! Ya can sell all kindsa food, but it'll be for naught. My fam'ly's farm is far more successful than yer plot! Let's talk about families - I got some news. I've had an Apple; he's related to you. I had more to say, but I've got a field to tend. It's a shame that I couldn't fit it all in! Now listen here, missy, ya've gone too far! Ah'd like ta end this, but Ah still don't know who ya are! Carrot Top? Golden Harvest? What's yer name, anyway? Ah only see ya in the background, never savin' the day Ah'm the Element of Honesty, taking a stand! At least three times Ah've helped save the land! All of your nonsense; Ah'm tired of it, slacker. Leave, 'fore Ah bring a Sweet Apple Massacre! You don't get it, do you? I have a right to be bold. I've got twenty-four karat harvests of gold! Not my fault you haven't seen what I can do. Hay, you never notice anything going on around you! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! ...UM...IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND, THAT IS... EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP! Major props to SuperChaosKG and RLYoshi for helping make sure this battle could finally be done! Also, trying my hand at using Source Filmmaker to make videos for these raps. It has born no fruit, yet. So please, if you're an animator or know an animator, please help us make this a reality! :D Oh, and be sure to be as unbiased in your voting as possible. I really want to know who would win based on skill alone, and not on whether or not they're 'best pony'. "Tom is best pony. Also, be sure to keep an eye out for a special bonus rap battle homage in the next chapter's comments!" ...I think that's all I need to say. :\ Have a nice day! Enigma out.~