//------------------------------//
// Bonus Chapter: Results and Aftermath & Rap Battle #21 
// Story: Epic Rap Battles of MLP 
// by enigmaMystere 
//------------------------------//




"THIS CHAPTER HAS NOTICABLE AMOUNTS OF OC'S IN IT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED."



...Vi, why did you use all caps?



"Because I felt like it."  "On to the story!"




Catnip was seated in the ponyville park, Ren sitting near and playing with a pile of leaves.

Fluttershy, having been flying around the city, psyching herself up as she searched for them, softly landed close by, a nervous smile on her face. "...um...Catnip?" She poked a hoof at the ground, glancing at the little white tiger cub romping among the fallen leaves. "...is it alright...if you don't mind, I mean...for me to spend a little time with Dhiren?"

Catnip frowned, but reluctantly said, "I guess so. He's mostly playing with the leaves," she said, a smile returning when he jumped into a pile, scattering leaves all around.

The timid mare stood there for a moment, wondering when it had become fall. Pushing that thought aside, she crouched down, placing a small headset on the ground near the striped feline. "...here you go, Dhiren...this is a special device, like the one you used this morning..." She nudged it a little closer, a delicate smile on her face. "...it should allow you to talk with us freely..."

Adjusting the headset, Dhiren asked the yellow and pink pegasus, "Have the results come in yet? I am interested in whom has been declared winner."

Fluttershy gave a small squeak, hiding behind her mane. "...um..." She glanced at the other pegasus, nervous. "...you see...the thing is..." Her gaze fixed onto her hooves, and she mumbled something indecipherable.

"What's that?" asked the other two simultaneously.

The butter-yellow mare swallowed, mustering up as much courage as she could. "...i-it's a tie..."

"One more try?" asked Catnip.

"Indeed, even I can hardly hear you," Dhiren said lightly.

She sighed, closing her eyes and pretending that she was talking to her white bunny. "...i-it's a tie...ten votes to ten votes..." She looked up at the other mare from where she lay on the ground, sniffing slightly. "...I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," Catnip said, though her face showed she was less than certain of what that meant for their... wager. "No need to be upset. It just means we need to figure out somehow else who Baron Ren will stay with." The tan pegasus looked at Ren, silently asking him to offer some sort of suggestion.

Surprisingly enough, it was Fluttershy who spoke up. "...well...it may not be our...um, deal...but we could just...have joint custody?" She squeaked again, turning her head away from the others.

"Hmm, I see no harm in that," Catnip said, apparently to the other pegasus' relief.

The timid pegasus smiled softly at the other mare, rather pleased they could compromise. She looked down at the little white tiger, watching as he 'stalked' a toy mouse. "...so cute..."





Enigma sat at a table crafted from an empty treasure chest. He sipped at his lemonade, the two extra pitchers he brought sitting in front of him and the others. Frankly, he had no idea what to call two of them, besides 'EpicLloyd' and 'Nice Peter'. 

The mentioned characters sat on opposing sides, ignoring the sour drink in favor of ones they brought with them in a metal cylinder.

Jolly took a swig from the mix of lemonade and rum he made and asked out loud: " So, when will we know who won?" EpicLloyd and NicePeter nodded in unison, showing their agreement with the question.

The pegasus shrugged, a small smirk on his face. "Depends." He turned to the taller of the two creatures, tilting his head a little. "...do you have a cell phone on you?"

Peter pulled out the cell phone from his pocket and gave it to Enigma. "Here. But how excatly are you going to use it with hooves?"

He waved his hooves in a playful yet silly manner. "Magic.~" He stopped, chuckling softly, extending his wings and wiggling the tips of his feathers. "It's not a hand, but they've worked before on Vi's phone." He grabbed the phone, setting it flat on the table. 

Turning to the side slightly, he deftly manipulated the screen, navigating through a series of web pages. "...let's see...oh! There we are!" He stopped, pulling his wing away and flexing it, causing him to wince slightly. "...always a pain...anyways!"

He stared at the screen, looking at the numbers next to the names. "...okay, so...Captain Roger got ten votes...and I got...ten..." He sat there dumbly, unsure what to think. "...it's a tie?"

"Well, that be a surprise. I guess we be pretty evenly skilled in rapping. But I'm actually more interested in the result of the battle between ye, Vinyl and these two gents." 

This time Lloyd spoke up. "Yeah. Who won this one? Please tell us quickly, I've got heroin jokes to make."

Enigma nodded, turning sideways to manipulate the phone once more. A few more taps, and he turned to look at the results. "...twenty-five...and three..." He rubbed the back of his head, sheepishly grinning. "...um...Vi and I won..." He held out a hoof, giving his best friendly smile. "You did quite well, though. I almost lost my cool during it, to be honest."

A pair of golden eyes peered into one of the windows, staring directly at the two creatures with a sense of awe. Lips curled up into a grin as the sea-green mare whispered to herself. "Humans.~"

Lloyd and Peter frowned, but they were good sports about it. "Now that I think of it, we weren't the first to make Epic Rap Battles, either..." LLoyd began. 

"Yeah, now that you remind me... didn't Rhett and Link make one before we started this stuff?" Peter remembered.

Enigma stared directly at them, frowning slightly. "...I have no idea who those two are..." He gently grabbed the phone in his teeth, holding it up for the taller one to take.

Suddenly, a unicorn mare leaped through the window, giving a tackle-hug to one of the humans. She nuzzled his side affectionately, not caring about any stares she was receiving.

The feminine stallion stared at the scene, unsure what to think. He just tilted his head in confusion, somehow keeping his grip on the phone.

Jolly laughed heartily at the scene. "Okay, Lyra, I'm sure Lloyd and Peter will give ye an autograph if ye ask them nicely... So, now that we know who won ye gonna tell the other competants their results?"

The red stallion rubbed the back of his head, frowning slightly around the phone in his mouth. "...ahlmofst evfrypony elfse lofst..." Realizing how silly this seemed, he put the device back on the treasure chest table. "One other got a tie, and another actually won." 

He glanced at Lyra, noticing (with a reasonable amount of shock) that she was rubbing her face against one of Epic Lloyd's hands.

"Well, who did win then? I'm kinda curious. And Lyra, come on! Lloyd may be a human, but he can't tell ye how to get hands. Ask Pinkie, she knows."

Enigma thought for a moment, trying to recall. "...I...I actually don't remember..." He looked at the phone, shrugging a little. "I suppose I can look it back-"

A rather large wave shook the ship, causing the mobile device to slide off the table. It hit the floor, breaking apart.

The female-looking stallion stared dumbly at the shards on the floor. "...never mind, then..."

Peter stared at the pieces in shock "That was a brand new mobile phone! How could it break so easily? *sigh* I think I'll get a nokia now..."

Jolly wondered something else "Where did that wave come from? The ponyville port is secluded from the open sea..."

Enigma looked out the porthole, looking into the water. "...I think I know..." He sighed, staring at the large white stallion in the water, bemused. "You having fun out there?"

"YEAAAH!"

The mint-green unicorn, meanwhile, had taken a notepad out, sketching the two humans in front of her. She paid close attention to their hands and clothes.

"Come on, Lyra! It be getting ridiculous! These two have to leave soon. Ye may ask them to answer ye three questions, but that's enough!"

"Yes!" Lyra leaped up, smiling brightly at the two humans. "Okay, so what do humans eat? What are your hobbies? Can I see you without your clothes?" She was extremely close to them, now, her hooves on their laps.

Enigma just stared at her, an eyebrow raised. ...is she...insane?

Lloyd and Peter stared at her, unsure what to think of the behaviour of the mint-coloured mare. "Uhh, we eat all kinds of stuff, although I try not to eat strange candy from other countries" Peter answered. 

Lloyd was wierded out too, but he still managed to answer the second question. " Well, my hobbies include... chess, rapping, comedy and making jokes about heroin on the behind the scenes of our series, the Epic Rap Batlles of History." 

The last question was answered by both of them in unison: "And we'd prefer to keep our clothes on. We got a REALLY nasty farmers-tan. You don't wanna see that."

She stared at them, her quill pausing in the middle of a word. "...what's a 'farmer's tan'?" She shook her head, smiling up at them. "Thank you for the information. I suppose I'll have to wait for another time for diagrams."

There was a small moment of silence. Lyra grabbed Peter's hand and nuzzled it before rushing off the ship, notebook in magical tow.

Enigma stared, entirely unsure what to make of that.

Jolly shook his head, smiling"Good old Lyra. still fascinated of that whole "Anthropology-stuff.So, were be ye two going now?" He looked At NicePeter and EpicLloyd. 

"Dunno. Probably home. Got battles to shoot, picture songs and Dis Raps to make." They pulled out a strange device, sort of ripped the air apart and disappeared. 

"Well, that was strange. On a kind of related note: keep those weird Weeping Pegasi locked up, looking at each other. Those things be bucking creepy."

The red pegasus nodded, turning to leave as well. "I'll be sure to do that. Have a nice evening, Jolly!"

"You, too, lad, You too."





Vinyl sipped her lemonade, calmly watching the ponies dancing in her club. The day had gone well, and she was relaxing with her brown unicorn friend backstage. Noticing the music was ending, she used her magic to put another record on and made a seamless transition.

With a small smile, she poked a friendly hoof at her friend. "You did great out there, dude. And props to your performance in the rap battle, too."

Lyrical smiled at Vinyl. "Thank you. You know, you did great out there, too, Vinyl." He was bobbing his head back and forth, liking the music of Vinyl's. Wubstep. "And I actually like your wubstep, it's just that it's a bit too...loud." Lyrical sheepishly grinned. "Also, I don't think you're a filly fooler. I was just wanting to get the fandom riled up."

Realizing what he said, he chuckled. "Ha, I've been spending to much time with Pinkie."

Vinyl smirked, nodding nonchalantly. "Yeah, she rubs off on you after a while. And I realize the fandom likes the idea of Tavi and I, but would it kill them to think of my feelings on the matter? She's just a good friend. I don't see them shipping Trixie and Twilight!" She thought about that for a few moments. "...strike that, I think that's one of the more common shippings."

She sat back against the sofa for a few moments, calmly listening to the dubstep spilling out of the violet velvet curtains. Her mind drifted back to earlier that day, and the kiss she'd shared with the dark red pegasus. Her face began turning a bright red, and a small, dreamy smile slowly formed on her lips.

Lyrical nodded. "To be honest, I think the two most famous ships, are Rarishy and Appledash." Lyrical then noticed to deep blush on Vinyl's face.

"...'bout time he asked you out."

Her attention snapped to him, glad her shades hid her shock. She sheepishly grinned, rubbing the back of her head. In a desperate attempt to drop the subject, she clung to the previous one. "I-I don't see how anyone can consider those ships feasible. I mean, yeah, they're cute, but Rarity's with that hotshot Wonderbolt (she met him in Canterlot, can you believe that?) and Dashie has Big Mac." She turned to look off into the distance, smirking slightly. "Of course, that's only in this story."

Her phone suddenly vibrated, catching her off-guard. Pulling it out, she began to read, her eyes growing wider with each word, visible since her sunglasses had slid down her nose. She put it down, holding a hoof out to Lyrical. "Congrats, dude. You won the rap battle."

"First, Hayseed Turnup TruckxRarity and TwiMac are better, Filly please." Lyrical then changed the subject."And I one? Really? What was the score?"

"Oh, and Dr.Whooves and Derpy/Ditzy. No doubt."

She stared at him a moment, uncomprehending. "You know what, I'm not gonna argue. Opinions are opinions, but we do share that last one." She sighed, pushing her shades back up her nose. "Anyways, the count was twelve to seven, and you were the only one to actually win their rap battle. Two of the others were ties, but I don't think they'd really be happy with that."

She giggled, resting her head on a hoof, twirling her glass to watch the tart liquid and ice spin. "I do have to wonder how Catnip and 'Shy will decide who keeps that tiger..."

"It's simple, really." Lyrical then got up from the couch, placing his forehooves in front of him, as if he were holding something.

"Rock, paper, scissors."

The disk jockey just stared blankly at him. "...and how would that work, dude? They don't have hands, or even claws, like Spike or Gilda." She glanced behind him, calmly sipping her lemonade. "Unless you mean with their wings, but that would just be uncomfortable, don't you think?"

"...Rock, rock, rock?"

Vinyl shrugged, continually glancing behind her guest. "There'd be no way to tell who won. I suppose they could have joint custody, but that hardly ever works." A small smirk crossed her lips, hidden by the glass of lemonade as she took another sip. "Oh, and you have a visitor, Lyri."

A pair of talons covered his eyes, and a sultry voice whispered in his ear. "Guess who, lover-colt?" A beak teasingly nibbled on the ear, nowhere near hard enough to hurt but definitely enough to be felt.

Lyrical's eyes widened as he mouthed "FFFUUUUUU-" Turning around, Gilda, the Princess of the Griffonlands, embraced him in a warm hug.

"....Gilda...What..are you doing here?"

She pulled back long enough to give him a lustful look. "What, I can't say hello to my favorite unicorn?" She attempted to kiss him directly on the lips, completely ignorant of the eye-roll from Vinyl.

The white unicorn looked off into the distance, her thoughts coming to her own favorite pony. I wonder how E is doing with that Roger fellow? 

"The beak, the BEAK!" Lyrical panicked. Using his magic, he levitated Gilda away from him, floating her right in front of his face. "Gilda, how and when did you get here? I thought you had some royal business stuff with King Peter?"

The griffon rolled her eyes, scoffing slightly. "He doesn't need me for that - besides, it ended for the day over an hour ago." She smiled playfully, lightly tracing circles in the stallion's fur with a talon. "Five hundred miles is nothing for me to get to you." She swiftly gave him a small kiss on the cheek, blushing brightly. "You're the only pony that matters in my life."

She grabbed him by the back of the head, pulling him close and growling softly in his ear. "And if you ever tell anypony that, I'll personally take you someplace private to receive...'punishment'."

Vinyl stared at the slightly tsundere griffon, an eyebrow quirked.

Lyrical could feel his cheeks glowing red, his ears burning. "I'm not sure if I should be scared or arou-NOPE."

Vinyl stepped between them, stopping Gilda from kissing the brown unicorn. "Listen, I know we don't have any policy regarding public displays of affection in this bar, but I need you to stop harassing my friend."

She scowled at the disk jockey, getting close to her face. "And what will you do if I don't?"

The white unicorn placed a hoof on the edge of her shades, readjusting them. "Well, then I'll have to introduce you to my Bass Cannon."

Gilda leaped back, her eyes wide with terror. "F-fine. But he still is getting married to me!" She flew out the back door, leaving the two ponies by themselves.

Lyrical sighed. "Thanks Vinyl, but, to be honest, Gilda's a nice mare, but I'm kind of in the middle between choosing her, and...you know."

Vinyl smirked, gently tapping his shoulder. "I know, dude. Your crush on them is as clear as mine was on E." She frowned, wondering why said pegasus was so oblivious to her feelings. She snapped out of her reverie, blushing brightly. "E-either way, dude, I'm sure you'll be happy."

"I guess." Lyrical inhaled, then exhaled deeply. "Welp, I'm bored. Got any ideas with what I can do? I mean, now that this chapters' almost over?"

Vinyl stared at the other unicorn, completely uncomprehending. "...dream? What do you mean by that?"

Lyrical's normal, dopey smile turned to a serious expression. "I can't tell you much Vinyl, for if I do I am afraid of buckin' up your deep sleep while I'm in here." Lyrical went into his hoodies pocket, and pulled out a spinning top. "Here."

She tentatively took it in her hoof, more confused than before. "...what am I supposed to do with this, Lyri?"

Lyrical's serious expression then turned back to his usual smile. "Spin it when the time is right. Otherwise you'll be stuck here."

"FOREEEEVER!"

Startled, Vinyl leaped teen feet in the air. Turning around, she saw a familiar pink mare peeking her head out of a shelf of records. Calming down, she chuckled sheepishly to herself. "You startled me, Pinks."

Lyrical jumped back a bit. "Pinkie? You're suppose to be with Enigma and the others. making sure Vinyl's safe! What and how are you doing here?!"

Pinkie Pie walked up to Lyrical, giggled and then took out a cupcake out of her cotton candy-like mane. "Silly Lyrical, I can break walls too, remember?" She then chomped the cupcake whole, swallowing it easily.

"I...my argument is invalid." Lyrical chuckled.

The disk jockey was thoroughly discombobulated. "...I...it just...wha?" She held her head, groaning in annoyance. "...darn these ponies...they'll drive me back to drinking..." She stared at them, pulling her shades off so she can see them clearly. "What the buck is going on here!?"

Suddenly, the building began to shake. Lyrical looked around frantically, his brows furrowing. "Damnit! We need more time!" He turns to Vinyl and nods at her. "Spin the top Vinyl!"

Still very much confused, she did as she was told, spinning the top. She could tell that her club was shaking, but she knew she hadn't set her bass that high. She grabbed the brown unicorn by the shoulders, scowling mostly from stress. "What the buck is going on, dude!?"

Lyrical then started shaking her as well. "You're in a deep sleep Vinyl, you need to wake the buck up! Enigma and other ponies are waiting for you!"

She blinked, looking around at her club. The walls - they were the wrong color. The ceiling, the entire building, was crumbling around her. She held her head, screaming as a large block was about to crush her.





Vinyl shot up in bed, eyes wide and her body covered in a cold sweat. She breathed deeply, calming herself down. "...it was...just a dream?" She sighed, relieved that everything wasn't crashing down around her.

Her relief, however, was short-lived, as a thought hit her like a ton of bricks. She growled, pounding the bed she was laying on with her hooves, glaring at a random spot on the wall. "Dang it, I didn't get to kiss him!" She crossed her hooves over her chest, pouting at how unfair it was.

"Don't be so sad, Vinyl." A black tentacle held a small cup of lemonade in front of her. "There's always tomorrow."

Vinyl took the cup, drinking the soothing yet tart drink. "You're right, Slendy." She turned to the creature, a small smile on her face. "So, how are things going with you and Tavi?"

The being turned its featureless face to the disk jockey. "I don't see how that is any of your business."

Vinyl shrugged, grabbing a white plush toy with her magic. "I still can't believe E has this. I mean, they only gave it out at one gig I did, and that was when I was sixteen!"

"You should believe, Vinyl Scratch."

The unicorn blinked, turning to the black-and-white tiger cub sitting on the dresser. It looked back at her, a subdued smile on its muzzle.

"You should always believe."





Enigma fell out of bed, sprawled awkwardly on the floor. Groaning, he slowly got up, gently flexing his wings to make sure they weren't broken. "What a strange dream." He chuckled to himself, holding his treasured white toy in his hooves. "Like she'd ever like me that way."

With a small, sad smile, he gently kissed the plushie on the nose. "...I hope Neon makes you happy, Vi..." He hugged it close, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

After a few minutes of silence, he noticed a note on the bedside table. Raising an eyebrow, he grabbed it, bringing it close to read it.





Enigma flew to the town square, still wondering at the letter on his dresser. What kind of pony sends a vague message like 'come to town square, and bring the mics!'? He landed on the orchestral stage, stretching his wings a little to keep them from getting too stiff. I need to work out more. He glanced around the large stage, arching an eyebrow. And we really need to return this stage. He took notice of the rolled-up cloth attached to the catwalk, as well as the turntables near the back. "Vi? Are you here?"

A blue-maned head popped up from behind the equipment, her eyes wide in surprise. She fumbled for her shades next to a stack of records, quickly putting them on and moving around the electronics. She grinned at him, motioning a hoof towards the stage. "What do ya think, E?"

He looked around once more. The same hardwood flooring. The same walls that amplified sound. The same setup for the disc jockey. What was different? He turned to her, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

Realizing that he didn't see it, Vinyl looked up, seeing the rolled-up cloth high above their heads. She facehoofed, pulling on the strings holding the cloth shut with her magic, which let the banner unravel. The words 'Epic Rap Battles for Charity' were written across it in bold, bright red letters. She spread her hooves wide, grinning once more. "Ta-da! I invited a bunch of ponies from your address book, my address book and 'Shy's address book, as well as had Ditzy put posters up in multiple cities, to take part in rap battles. For charity! Everypony who watches is asked to donate to the Charity for Homeless Fillies and Colts!"

Enigma scratched his head, frowning deeply. "...this all seems strangely familiar..." He glanced out at the growing crowd, half-expecting to see a lone white filly approaching them.

To his surprise, a white pony did appear - but she wasn't a filly, and she wasn't alone. Before him stood the two rulers of Equestria, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. As was custom, everypony bowed in reverence.

Celestia smiled at the scene, holding a hoof up modestly. "Now, now, everypony, there's no need for that."

The younger of the two sisters approached the disc jockey and her friend, an apparently neutral expression on her face. "Did thou enjoy thy dreams last night?"

Enigma blinked, staring at the lunar mare, finally noticing the small smile tugging at a corner of her lips. He opened his mouth to ask how much she knew, but decided it would be pointless.

Luna looked back at her sister, her serious expression back. "We are done here, Tia. We did what you asked us to."

"Oh, I don't think so, Lulu." Celestia stepped up next to her sister, a playful smile on her face. "Vinyl Scratch, my sister and I would like to participate in your charity event."

The princess of the night glared at her little sister, frowning openly. "We did not agree to this."

"Read the banner, Luna."

Confused, the darker alicorn turned her eyes upward. Scanning the words, she turned back to her sister, a bemused look on her face. "...do you realize what you are asking, Tia?"

The white mare used her magic to bring a couple headsets from offstage. "Think of it as a way to get me back for interrupting your game of Minecraft."

Luna narrowed her eyes and sat down, crossing her hooves over her chest. "Challenge accepted."

Soon enough, the Royal Sisters were ready, and the two ponies behind the turntables were discussing what song to use for the rap battle. Having a bit of trouble, they decided to just use a song Vinyl found by somepony named 'Mando', giving it her own hip-hop remix.

Deciding that would have to do for now, the music began. Everypony in the audience cheered wildly for what they hoped would be best rap battle ever.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!



VS. 



BEGIN!

Oh little Woona, It's nice to have you back,
And I'm not mad; all teens go through a rebellious act.
Yours was just a bit angry and sad,
I'm graceful like mom. You? You're enraged like dad.
Don't take this seriously, Lulu, I do care for you,
But you have no clue how much ponies fear you, too!
Remember, big sisters always know best,
Now stop no-lifing on those game consoles; get some rest.

We're like our parents, big sis; I know that's true,
But you're forgetting that dad was the brains of the two.
When you were little, you thought the sky made the snow.
I have a life, Tia; of course, you wouldn't know.
I play in-pony games as well as ones on the PlayStallion.
You're obsessed with Japonese animes, o-nii chan!
I'm surely going to win, just as the sun always sets.
I have a wealth of info at hoof - welcome to the Internet!

Oh, Luna, why are you so serious?
This is just for fun and laughter, or has Moonshine made you delirious? 
It's obvious that before the moon rose, was the sun,
I don't play games very much, but in trolling, I'm number one!
Ah the internet, such a place of wonder and more,
But Luna, I'm tired of hearing you clopping to that Playcolt Porn!
And as for anime, well, that's the best since reading manga,
Better calm down or get a face full of GIGA DRILL BREAKA!

You wish your silly little drill was one of a kind.
My special hadouken will easily blow your mind.
I don't make moonshine anymore, since hard cider is abound.
Go ahead, search my stuff - there's no porn to be found.
I wish the same could be said for you, Molestia;
You have the largest 'dungeon' in all of Equestria!
You have a thing for Sparkle? Too bad she's not into fillies.
Face it, sis, I'm about to end this with a FATALITY!





WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!





Special thanks to RLYoshi, Spiralcorn (why do you change your username so often?) and gordobraveheart for helping me with the rap battle for this chapter, the latter of those three for the part with Lyrical, Sphye for helping with Catnip Sprinkles and Jolly Roger for helping with...Jolly Roger's part. Oh, and thanks to Brony Leader for helping me get an idea for how to begin the part with Luna and Celestia and the rap battle. ^^

What Vinyl said was completely honest - Lyrical was the only one who straight-out won. Two others tied: Catnip Sprinkles (with 'Shy) and Jolly Roger (with Enigma). I will not bring up any more numbers in respect for the other participants. Again, thank you all for joining!

I'm not usually the type to promote other's stories straight-out, but my friend and I did a chapter together, and I wanted everypony to read it. ^^; Anyways, if you are interested, here's a link. Please let him know how the rap battle in said chapter went! ^w^ ~

Also, while I'm here, any help with the next chapter of 'No Longer an Enigma' would be greatly appreciated! ^^; ...why is the Doctor so hard to write for? :(

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~