• Member Since 3rd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 6th, 2018


I would totally go for a cookie right now.


Stop me if you heard this one: I have been sent to Ponyville on a personal quest. Now I'm stuck in a town with a cowgirl with a manly-sounding name, A crazy cat lady with variety, a damsel who wants to make me look fabulous, an egomaniac (who could be gay... it's the hair), and a mare so hyped up I swear she was on something.

No, I'm not Twilight Sparkle, but it is HER friends. I don't have any. That's why I'm stuck here. My name is Woundsalt.

Uber thanks to Carnival for this magnificent creation of a cover.

And do you really need a warning that there are spoilers in the comments? I expected more from you.


Chapters (44)
Comments ( 1573 )

... So, What does everypony think of my first chapter?

Forgive me if any grammatical errors arise, Haven't had a lot of sleep lately. :ajsleepy:

You have my attention. I'll be watching.

2368179 Not gonna lie, I assumed it would suck, but this is pretty darn interesting. Keep in mind: if you don't make this good, well, I suppose I can't actually do anything to you, but I will be quite angry for a brief period.

Thanks for the heads up. Let me know when and where I screw up

2368207 You are welcome, and I intend to complain when I feel it necessary.

Second one now up! Don't expect a third for a while though... *yawn*:ajsleepy:

Sweet Luna, that was a brilliant little piece at the end, there. Bravo.

2767836 That was great. Make more, lest I keel.


Well, since your life in my hands, I shall continue!

2769929 Actually, I was speaking of your life, but whatever.

Oh wow, this is better than I thought it would be. And that's only after the first chapter.

This just gets more and more interesting...

Oh god that Certificate.

My sides.

Oh, that poor fool. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Woundsalt's luck is almost as bad as a few martial artists I am aware of. At the very least, the Universe seems to take great joy in taking a dump on Woundsalt's life.

Indeed, Traveler. But this is nothing compared to the following events to come. If you think the Universe is crapping on him now, what I have planned would make it seem the day after curry night.


Not the day after curry night! Anything but that... whatever, makes for good reading! :pinkiecrazy:

Things are about to get interesting...

Also, I really want to know about this Ironsight thing.

Only after I [SOMETHING BAD IS COMING DOWN - HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS? GET INSIDE...BETTER RUN AND HIDE - NOTHING CAN STOP THE SMOOZE!] did I see him standing there, shivering. Taking the trombone off my head, I went to give him a soda and a talk about birds and bees.

So hot for a Teen rated story, unf.
I came buckets:rainbowwild:


See the way it slithers forth - spewing gobs of ooze henceforth!
Here it comes! Right now!


Nice to know there is still love for the best Lovecraftian Bass man.

Why with the mind-reading, though? I'm not aware of anything in the show supporting the idea that Twilight can read minds, nor do I generally think it's a good idea to grant Twilight that power. I just don't brain :rainbowhuh:

Hmm… Interesting point.

I admit I did not think character-wise on Twilight’s telepathy. If anything, I wrote it as some fourth-wall breaking humour. And you’re right; she wouldn’t dare use such a thing…

… On purpose.

You know how in the show, she’s trying to sort out how to control her wings? Well, I would gather that Alicorn magic would be just as hard to control at first too. Granted, with magic as her cutie mark it would take a short while to sort it out, but in the first week? Slightly pushing it.

And before you ask whether or not alicorns would have telepathy… Princess Luna can get into your dreams. Not much of a stretch from the conscious to the sub-concious, is there?

TL:DR Version: Don’t think of it as a Twilight thing, but an alicorn thing.

Comment posted by Blue Blaze {COMET} deleted May 2nd, 2014

Hi. I'm here from your Authors Helping Authors post. Here's what I think of your story:


Content (Does the content match the tags? Are the chapters long enough to satisfy what needs to be explained?): 9/10
Pacing (Does the plot move too fast? Does the dialogue move too fast? Are there too many scene changes in a short amount of time?): 5/10
Grammar (Not explaining this): 10/10

Overall view: Great.

Why: This story makes me laugh, and not just a tiny giggle "lol" here and there, but a nice, two-second chuckle for all the antics that Woundsalt is put through. You have some very creative ideas here and they help hook in the reader like no other. The concept of the story is pretty original (at least to me it is), which is a very rare thing in this age of My Little Pony fanfiction writing. The pacing of the story's acceptable and keeps the reader on track without making him or her bored. The chapter lengths are appropriate for what they're trying to convey. The writing is witty and the interactions between characters are very, very enjoyable. This story is in all rights crazy, funny, horrifying and interesting, all at the same time.

What could be improved: So far, we haven't seen too much interaction between Woundsalt and the Mane 6. Yes, there is a lot of dialogue between the main character and Twilight, but when Woundsalt actually talks to them a large portion of what happens is cut out because he blacks out. I'm not sure what you have planned in the future, but it would be nice to see some one-on-one interaction between Woundsalt and the Mane 6. Also, this is really just a style thing, but I think that you're advancing the plot too quickly. No, I am not contradicting myself by saying this. The pacing in the chapters are great, but the plot pacing is not. As a reader, I want to settle into this fic and really take in all the characters, atmosphere and funny moments that occur during the story. So far, it's been barely one day for Saltwound and already he has been adopted by royalty, found out who his mother is, found out WHO his mother is, found out about his CMC condition (giggle giggle snort) and had learned that he is his outbursts make him really, really special. Slow it down a little!

What's Next: Please take a look at my story, Ignis. It's not published yet, and the link goes to a G Docs document, but I really need input on this thing, and I figure this is the easiest way to do it. I left comments on, but I'd prefer that you PM me your thoughts because I don't log in to Google that often.

P.S. Deleted my previous comment because I forgot to add the link to my story. Oops.

4325104 Thank you so much! I can't wait to rip into this wonderbuster you got. And don't worry, the girls will have some time with Wound.

Thought Prench was the language of love.

Debatable, but all I know it's not Gemane

Actually the love languages are Italian Spanish Latin and French

Oh forgot to say. Keep up the good work, and don't let the update train stop rolling. Unless you let it run over laptops

I have no idea what page linked me to this, and I don't care. All I know is that it had me laughing the entire time!


...Some one linked this on their page?

Well, thanks whoever did, and you, broheim! :pinkiehappy:

Now I really wanna see what he says in those surges.

4528280 I need an update. The update train is running out of fuel.

I have been tracking this fic for a while now, I just joined the Authors Helping Authors group and decided to review this fic.

Grammar: 9/10 no real major mistakes as far as I can see.


1. The idea of Twilight teaching a smart ass, foul mouthed alcoholic the finer points of friendship is hilarious.

2. An earth pony who can do magic but not control it is something I am yet to see in any other fic, it is an interesting concept.

3. I like his friendship with Vinyl Scratch,


Not too much interaction with the other mane 6 but it seems like he had some Rainbow Dash in the most recent chapter. Other than that I can't think of anything.

Check out my fic Rarity Gets Cockroaches

Yeah I know dude, but it's coming! It's coming!

My cafe job is taking a chunk out of me because the winter months are coming to Oatstralia, and everyone needs a latte before everything gets set on fire again.

4558029 Uber thanks, compadre!
Will return the favour soon!

This chapter was great. I really hope to see Celestia's reaction upon finding out that the dungeon exists.

4558893 Alright cool ponies shouldn't get in the way of real life. But I have one more question. Are there trains in Australia?

4561256 Yeah, and just like every other place in the world they are incredibly scuzzy. Why?

Brother? I feel like shit's about to hit the fan.

4562003 Nobody ever rides the train. So why the fuck would they care what it looks like.

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