I hear the door open behind me. I don't bother looking. I'm not in the mood for looking in any other direction but straight down to my hind legs as I sit on this step, trying to make a Rorschach test on the pink concrete. I'm trying to make it look like a disaster that could've been better than the one that happened out here, but it looks more like two bears giving each other a high-five.
“Oh, no.” I hear the Manehattan voice of Vinyl come from behind me. “Pinks, hoof me a few paper towels, will ya?”
I didn't hear Pinkie doing so, but I guess she did. The next thing I heard is the door closing, followed by me seeing her white coat from the corner of my eye as she sits down with me.
“Hey buddy,” The DJ whispers gently. “I guess it didn't go so well out here. Do you want to talk about it?”
...
“My... My magic possessed me.” I decide to say, still not looking up to her. “It made her believe the truth, but it... it said something else...”
“What... what did it say?” she asks, still keeping her gentle tone but now a little more on edge. “Did... did it offend her?”
“N...no.” I groan, still looking down. “She... she asked it why I didn't do anything for five years. It said... I... I guess what it said was accurate but... I don't...”
“Woundsalt, look at me.” she says bluntly.
...
I look at my friend. Her shades are off her face. Her magenta eyes are looking at my red, ink-filled ones. She's looking straight at them. She isn't even taken back by the black running down my cheeks. Her aunt cried something worse, I imagine.
“I'm going to fix this, Wound.” She says like she is engraving those words into stone. “But in order for me to do that, you got to tell me what your magic said.”
“All it said?”
“All it said.”
“After she confirmed the adoption with it...
... And then she ran off, crying.”
I finished my explanation, as the DJ continues to clean my tears with napkins. She hasn't said a word since. I... I feel I should say...
“I'm sorry, Vinyl.”
This made her stop wiping my face for a few seconds. “What for?” she asks.
“That this happened. See, I know that the game is on and I don't know your true relationship, but I know you two are close enough that if I upset one of you, I upset both of you.” I start to explain. “I apologized to Octavia after my dick move last night, so I'm apologizing to you for this, even though I know it's not particularly my f-”
She grabs my head and turns it more to her direction, muting my explanation.
“Let me get this straight,” Vinyl says. “You are apologizing to me right now because you made Tavi cry?”
“Y...yeah? Why, was that not a thing to d-ulp!”
...
She kissed me!
...
She fucking kissed me!
And that wasn’t a peck, neither. That was a 'let's kiss like some pony I don't like is watching' kiss, like the one from last night. I look around to find this pony, but all I can see that indicated a pony being there is the slightly moving door of the Sugarcube Corner and that could've been nothing.
Suddenly, some information came to me. Information my magic has kept from me since the date; shit, since Vinyl crashed the library Tuesday night.
Her name isn't Vinyl Scratch.
Her name wasn't Vinyl Scratch since four years ago.
She took her wife's last name.
Octavia and Vinyl Philharmonica... I admit it, it does sound better than Octavia Scratch. Anyway, the fact of the matter is... it's true. It was all true.
They are a lesbian couple. A married lesbian couple.
I look at Vinyl Scr... Philharmonica. I think she knew what went in my head right now.
“I'm guessing your magic showed you our wedding certificate.” She says as she picks up her shades to cover her mischievous, magenta eyes. “So, uh... surprise!”
I look into the shades as I ask her a very valuable question.
“The fuck?”
Okay, I asked her part of a very valuable question. All of this is hitting me out of left field, okay? What do you want from me?
“Oh shit, dude, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to go that frontal!” Vinyl yells happily with her hooves in the air. “It's just that... Good Goddess, do you have any idea how many colts we went out with that never thought of doing what you just did?”
“I just did... what, exactly?”
“Get it!”
“Get... what, exactly? And please don't open another opportunity to make me ask roughly the same question again.”
“That we mean a lot to each other!” Vinyl shouts, pointing in my direction. “Even the ones who we did tell about who we are, it was all 'Vinyl and them' or 'Octavia and them'. None of them, BUCKING NONE OF THEM gave a fuck for 'Vinyl and Octavia'! All they ever thought about is the parts of the relationship they were in, not the one with them out of it. Yet you... you! You got that from the first date! I mean, I didn't believe that when Tavi told me, but you seriously do! You...”
She drops her hoof to deliver the rest of her last sentence.
“... You are the one who won the game.”
...
“You want me to explain what the fuck this is all about now, don't you?” She asks, smirking the biggest smirk that I'd ever seen her smirk.
“Yes please.” I quickly reply.
“Alright. Where do you want me to begin?”
“Well, I'm guessing you two met when you were at university together and a little while after that you became more than friends...”
“Yeah.”
“... A little while after that part would be nice.”
“Okay...
... So, we fell in love with each other. Tavi around the time was showing her mom that she's a grown up and that she can choose what she does in her life in any way she Cadence-damn likes. I thought I should have been there for that but... Meh. Her mom got off her case anyway, and after we finish our studies and then moved to Ponyville. She wanted to move into the Renter Scene since it's pretty close to Canterlot for when she needs to do the Gala and... well, all she heard was that was where all the hardcore appreciators of your stuff were. The Renter Side has the reputation of where anypony can get with anypony, so I guess the place was a learning point for a couple of newly-made lesbians. Anyway, we lived together for a few months, then the Ohana Islands decided to legalize same-sex marriage.”
“Oh, so you struck while the iron's hot, huh?” I remark. The Ohana Islands were the first places in Equestria to get the 'gender-equality' ball rolling.
“Pretty much, yeah. We didn't even propose to each other; we just got the news, looked at each other, nodded and ran to the docks for a couple of tickets!”
We laugh for a good while. Goddess, did I need a good bucking laugh.
“Anyway. We get married and then we stayed up all night pretty much looking at the stars from our hammock and... Something hit us both. Something I guess a lot of ponies go through after a wedding. I think it's safe to say we got a little afraid of what the future could hold for us, that's the best we can describe what we thought that night. This thought hanged around us throughout the next day until we went to a bar that night and we met this zebra. He made this powdery shit called Onderlandwah, right? Really weird stuff.”
“I know. I took some.” I nod. I have the feeling she wants to ask me what I dreamt while under the influence. I save her the trouble. “All I got was an empty room with a horned version of myself and a bunch of symbolic bullshit. You?”
“Some neon world where ponies can kill each other with a frisbee. Pretty freaky.” Vinyl giggles. “Anyway, we wake up and we kinda discovered a few things we have in common we never did before. We're bi, we kinda have a thing for threesomes and most importantly...
... We want a kid.”
I blink. I kind of understand what all this was about now. I'll try and fill in the rest.
“So you two came back to Ponyville, deciding to kill all three birds with one stone and find a stallion that respects your new lifestyle, can be a great dad and would like to hang around you two.”
“Yeah... maybe marry him too.” She says, putting her hoof on top of mine. “If he wants to, of course.”
...
“Uh... wait. Is multiple marriages legal? I mean no offence, but last time I checked bigamy is frowned upon in a court of law...”
“Oh, no no no no no. Don't worry.” The DJ says, letting go. “Some fun fact about Ponyville most don't know: When gay marriage became legal here, the mayor messed up the paperwork. Now there is a loophole where anypony is allowed one straight and one gay spouse if they desire!”
“Oh shit, really?”
“Yeah!” She giggles. “Only here and San Fransiscolt... and rumour has it Flotrotta wants to make it happen on purpose.”
We laugh.
...
“So... do you want to head in or...?” I ask her, looking at the door.
She looks at the door too. “Okay.”
We stand up to walk in th-
*Slap!*