• Member Since 12th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen Apr 12th, 2018

Pen Mightier

I proved my namesake in a duel of honour. The crayon never stood a chance.



"My lady once wrote in her very personal and very secret diary that I have problems appreciating personal space. I beg to differ on that sentiment." - A Butler commenting on Professional Discretion -

I'm a Butler. My friends, the imaginary ones at least, call me Butler. My job, looking after my lady, can be...challenging at times, but rewarding. Lately the job's become a little more difficult, especially after my lady's sister returned from the moon and the parliament decided to try and pass an entire bill just to be able to legally get rid of me. But managing the chaos is part of the job description, even if it means I must secretly become my lady's knight captain of her personal bodyguards in order to keep my job. Though even I could never have anticipated having to train knights cunningly disguised as maids to stay one step ahead of the nobles. Ah, the things I do for my princess.

Featured 9 - 12 August 2014. Many many thanks to everyone who kindly made this possible! You guys have doubled the fun!

Now featuring the editing talents of our resident editor Dumbgamer99. Be sure to thank him by checking out his page and giving him a follow!

Butler tag kindly made by undead003. Many thanks! (You'll find it actually works if you click on it.)

Cover Art: This picture totally contains ninjas. You just can't see them, cause they're that good.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 914 )

Something very charming about a human butler serving Celestia, and I like the banter, keep it up!

Haha, I love their dynamic. And the pout! Almost as bad as Celestia's Disappointed Face. Anything but the Disappointed Face.

This is great. Keep the update train rolling.

Isn't it too much fics to focus on? you have published several stories and some of them are unfinnished, I'm still hoping for ¨1000 Virgin Mares, 1 Frickin' Badass Dark Overdude, Infinite Facehoofing¨, it is a damn good fic.

All I can hear when he speaks is Alfred, a.k.a Micheal Caine.

Why does this somewhat sound like the plot from an anime i've seen?

Makes me think of Schadenfreude, only not as much of an asshole as him. Ahh, Schadenfreude. So wonderfully delicious for the butlers.
~Dash The Stampede

4821120 So the butler is a human? Wondered where then Human tag came into play

And this story intrigues me, I shall keep an eye on it

" I am simply one hell of a butler." :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

This is awesome.

So is Butler immortal or are there multiple Butler's that replace the previous seamlessly when one croaks?

4822158 I must simply thank you for that.

For a second I thought this was going to be something similar to my story The Butler, glad to see it isn't.

Then again nobody is really original xD. For all I know they're might be tons of butler fics I don't know about.

Y'know at first I thought this was Artemis fowl crossover

This is really good. I really like the premise. I'm. Going to favorite this and see where it goes. :pinkiehappy:

He is like a more child like version of Sebastian. :rainbowlaugh:

....There needs to be a group for Butlers. It seems that some of the best tales come from them.

No real strong feelings one way or the other. Well, let's see where it goes.

This was a riot to read! I was laughing the entire time while reading this story. Well done! You especially did well with the physical comedy of that chase scene.

Interesting, I like this one.

No fav until you update the next chappy though. But here's a like :twilightsmile:

Is he just one human transported to Equestria, or is it a story with constant portal/dimensional rift/interplanetary cruises between our worlds, and he's just one human out of many, that happens to work for Tia?

4822621 No.
Anyways, good story, I'll patiently await more.

Is it me or does this looks like the beginning of a harem story?

It was pretty darn good, though I would get rid of the emergency use only part. It just seems out of place, a little too forced. The rest has a particular humor to it, that that seems to miss.

Well, you have successfully managed to make me smile through the whole of chapter one.
Understand that this is ridiculously difficult.

4822494 Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing.

Your writing style is absolutely mint - loved it!



Dear Celestia, help me. Every time the butler talks I hear it in the voice off Rowan Atkinson

Poor Butler. Far more Oscar Wilde or Michael Caine, than Butler, but then again, playing a true English Gentlemans Gentleman is sooo very difficult to do. Or given Celestia, Batmans Batman. :trollestia:

Check out those soccar skills under extreme fire as well, That guy could play for Accrington Stanley. :rainbowhuh:

They only serve, those who stand and wait. :eeyup:

Trixie as a maid? Oh, the cruelty! Tirek got nothing on this guy!

Hm. Yes, yes I believe you deserve a favorite and a thumbs up. :twilightsmile:

Dapper Troll Butler is Dapper Troll.:moustache:

Our fine butler here does a job to rival that of Alfred Pennyworth, while giving enough snark to rival that of Geoffrey from the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire or Niles from The Nanny. Good show, sir.

Incidentally, I hear Jarvis (From Iron Man) when he speaks, strangely enough.

No! No, sweet Princess, have mercy! Not...the Pout!!!

Sassy Butler is best Butler. That was very fun to read.

Liking and following. Too good to pass up.

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