• Member Since 12th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen April 12th

Pen Mightier


I proved my namesake in a duel of honour. The crayon never stood a chance.

Sequels1

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“Do Humans Hibernate?” Rainbow has a question on her mind. She's not entirely sure why it's bothering her so much. It probably doesn't help that the only human she could ask is the world's greatest liar.


Cover art by Pusspuss this random guy called ‘Pen Mightier’ who probably wishes he is Pusspuss but isn’t.

Marshal: (mɑː.ʃəl) noun….etymology - archaic: Middle English, from Anglo-French ‘mareschal’, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German ‘marahscalc’, from ‘marah’ (horse) + ‘scalc’ (servant). Originally referring to "a person in charge of the upkeep of horses or stable hand”. The station became a position of trust and power in medieval courts and went on to acquire its modern military usage.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 350 )

Element of political correctness made me laugh aloud.

Already a winner. Bravo. On to the next chapter!

And also, It's not Christmas.
BUT I'M HAPPY! YAY!

Also, I need more cloppity clop clop.

"Mars?" She raised an eyebrow at her guard marshal.

So...we just gonna call him the Marshal?
Does that make him a time lord? I think he's a time lord

7264916 He is actually called Mars. For being a Fun-sized planet, and all that...

*laughing* the references they are everywhere!

"Hang in there, buddy. We'll make it through this together."
 
"Shut uuuup. Don't tooouch meeee."

Now where have I heard this exchange before?
img.ifcdn.com/images/344e4960be78abdd32465a04b8b3a0927a86581d42b8a67b75abc49093c2e4db_3.jpg

But my friends call me 'Mars'."

Because "Ares" was taken

"Aw, you worry-wart." Twilight teased. "What's the worst that could happen?"

i.giphy.com/tPdYQaW6oCIOA.gif
Cue destruction montage...

First thing that came to mind. Haven't read it yet but we'll see.
derpicdn.net/img/2015/11/6/1017560/tall.png

I really didn't like how Rainbow kept falling for his BS, maybe now and then but the more outlandish stuff it would have been funnier if she had tried playing along with him or something as you kind of made her a little two dimensional in this story with her going on and on about 'cool' and 'uncool' there is more to her character than that but it seems to be the only thing that's focused on. Plus she's not that dumb to keep falling for those stories all the time. I also don't know why you didn't just give him a name, there's no harm in it after all just pick something generic if you couldn't think of something after all. Anything you picked would have been better than say those stories that just have the name 'Anon' after all (really hate those stories no imagination in them)

There is a unique twist to things like actually having the human a marshal I think is something I haven't seen before although he would have to know what one was, unless he's never seen a western/military/historical film/TV series/Book in his life.

I didn't know my brother ended up in Equestria...he's the biggest liar I know!

Hagahaha, come on, this was hilarious, somehow you make wonderful and entertaining fics, and somehow you never finnish them, i hope you are saying the truth and got this already completed, anyway, waiting for next chapter eagerly ????

Pen, you are no mere mortal author. You are a goddamned wordsmith.

Man, this is just excellent.

Somewhere in the second chapter though, you misspelled Marshal as 'Marshall', which is a name.

I'm sorry author, I only managed to reach "cancel, lock on!" Before i scrolled up to favorite. All shall point at my shame and laugh until my AI testicle deems me worthy of saving.

Ha! I love the proof that it's complete....but like I've said before, for my own sanity, it's going in the read later with all your other ones until I see that green tag.

I WAS HOPING THE PROOF PICTURE WAS GOING TO BE SOMETHING ELSE

NOT SURE WHAT, JUST SOMETHING PROBABLY SURPRISING

LIKE A PICTURE OF A DOG

Oh ho....I do hope you will continue to work and finish your long stories soon...Because if you don't...Imma orbital bombardment you.


All joke aside, nice to see at least one story that is longer than 3 chapters finished.

I am very weirded out by this story.

One one hand, Rainbow Dash is entirely in character.

On the other hand, Rainbow Dash is as two-dimensional as any flat-lander.

Furthermore, I can't tell if this is an actual Equestria, or if this is a Crack-Equestria.

I'm following, yeah, i'm tracking this story, but only to check out new chapters for any proof positive for either way.

I can't enjoy a fiction without some basic comprehension of the quality of reality it operates in.

Is this all just a highly, highly, highly off-the-rails toon-world version of Equestria? Because the canon Equestria is already a played-straight toon-world with all the values dissonance that comes with it.

this random guy called ‘Pen Mightier’ who probably wishes he is Pusspuss but isn’t.

Well, thank god for that.

nice chapter my man :3 :)

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

7265949

One one hand, Rainbow Dash is entirely in character.
On the other hand, Rainbow Dash is as two-dimensional as any flat-lander.
Furthermore, I can't tell if this is an actual Equestria, or if this is a Crack-Equestria.

I find this comment to be amusingly accurate.

"I've also got a tongue." She showed him with a raspberry. "It can unbutton, unzip and undress anything in one second flat, physics or no.

Ooh, dirty.


San Palomino dessert cry itself dry.
*desert *cries

"Are you getting competitive with my Countess Coloratura hug pillow?" He raised an eyebrow that was as suggestive as an eyebrow could get without being propped up by a rolled up Playcolt magazine. "'Cause I wouldn't mind that in the slightest."

The normally brash pegasus broke into a furious blush. "K-keep your fantasies to yourself!"

Funny, that's what his Countess Coloratura hug pillow said.

Her obliviousness is only overtaken by the sheer cuteness of her budding love. :raritystarry:

I so need more of this, ASAP! :pinkiecrazy:

Always end with butt buzzing... because why not? Its good to see more things catching me off guard, and by that i mean everything. Its no left testicle AI but the boop was a formidable weapon.

Nice fic you got there

Rainbow followed his gaze to find Pinkie approaching with two mugs billowing glowing purplish green steam. The steam curled into something that just about resembled a sinister grin.

Evil overlords taste like Waldmeister. True fact.

Comment posted by Pusspuss deleted Jun 1st, 2016

7266971
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/088/815/If-haters-gonna-hate-Are-suckers-gonna-suck.jpg
What can I say? You're awful. I didn't even read halfway through your first story before I gave up on it - and I don't exactly have high standards. It doesn't help that every single time I see you, you're being a smug twit about it, too.

By the way, the answer is "yes."

Comment posted by Pusspuss deleted Jun 1st, 2016

7267014
If you think that posting a "haters gonna hate" meme doesn't make anyone look petty and smug these days, you really need to re-evaluate your interactions with others a little.

7266581

Her obliviousness is only overtaken by the sheer cuteness of her budding lust. :raritystarry:

Comment posted by Pusspuss deleted Jun 1st, 2016

7264794 Up there alongside the Element of Equality Watchdogs. :rainbowwild:

7264852 Thanks. Rainbow Dash loves being a winner and won't be anything but. :rainbowdetermined2:

7265571
7264992
7264916 I think people have tried to call him a lot of things, but this is all that stuck.

7264997 So are the clothes.

7265003 Marshal's not angry enough to qualify for that name. And he prefers unattached ladies. Jealous husbands are too complicated for him.

7264885
7264890 The guy who promised clop failed to deliver clop. So, uh, you're gonna have to enjoy this clopless clopfic.

7265141 That is so flockin' adorable.

7265219 Challenge accepted.

7265369 Thanks for the kind comment. I am a fiction writer. I always tell the truth.

7265563 Thanks for the kind comment. I didn't feel all too confident with this one, but I'm glad it meets your approval.

7265707 Thanks for the kind comment. Uh, ooops. I'll fix that.

7265787 Thanks for the kind comment. You've done well. I think my spellcheck gave up a lot earlier with Marshal's carbon fiber pubes.

7265845 Pretty sure the green tag's for all fics NOT by Pen Mightier. My tag's yellow all the way. :raritywink:

7265847 I agree. Dogs are pretty surprising.

7265856 But if you orbital bombardment me, nothing will ever be finished...

7266068 Thank god that I'm not as good as Pusspuss? O_O

7265216
7265949
7266270
Thanks for the comment. I'm wondering if I can trouble you to qualify exactly how she is two dimensional here. I've done my best to portray all the facets of her personality and character:
- She's uber competitive, rising to all of Marshal's speed challenges
- She loves to win and takes losing badly, very badly, even when she's the only one perceiving herself to be 'losing'
- She's loyal to a fault, taking mourning to an extreme and feeling bad for having fun without Tank
- She's very self-conscious about how she's perceived, especially by her friends
- She's a mischievous prankster
- She's uncomfortable with all things 'frou frou', 'girly' and sex-related
- She can be clingy and needy in her own way, feeling abandoned when she found out all her friends are leaving for Hearthswarming

Though I'll admit that, in my zeal to try and write the third person narrative from her perspective, I've ended up describing a lot of things in terms of coolness and uncoolness. But that's probably the way the world looks to Rainbow, black and white, cool and uncool.

And this is meant to be a very normal Equestria, not 'crack' in any way. There's some slapstick humor mostly involving human clothing, but, hey, clothes flying off every ten minutes is a guy thing, right?

7266230 Thanks for the kind comment!

7266457 Thanks! Fixed!

7266555 That's the least of the hug pillow's worries. It's a hard life, being a Countess Coloratura hug pillow.

7266581 Rainbow Dash aims to not only overtake, she aims to win by a mile.

7266654 Does your Samsung vibrate when there's a friendship problem? Does your iPhone vibrate when the apocalypse is coming? Pony butts, ladies and gents, accept no alternatives.

7266846 Thanks for the kind comment!

7266944 Pretty sure they taste like 1000 virgi-.... *shot*

7267048

Didn't mean to upset you so much.

I just want sempai to notice me. Why you gotta trample all over my feelings like that. :fluttercry:

7267048
7267066

I'm gonna very nicely ask you two to kindly move your little conversation to PM, thanks. :twilightsmile:

And I will delete the rest of your conversation in about 24 hours, so please be sure to save anything you need by then. :twilightsheepish:

Thank you for flying Pen airlines! :pinkiehappy:

7267061

Thank god that I'm not as good as Pusspuss? O_O

Let's just say that tastes differ there.

Thanks for the comment. I'm wondering if I can trouble you to qualify exactly how she is two dimensional here. I've done my best to portray all the facets of her personality and character:

Somewhat ironically, that's exactly why I said menthe's comment was "amusingly accurate": you've succeeded perfectly at that. You have, no doubt, covered every quirk and personal foible that Rainbow has.

The problem is that you've covered it too well. You've done it to the degree that it's even more cartoonish than the cartoon character naturally already is. You've covered everything so exhaustively, it's gone the point that it's elevated almost to the level of a caricature. The story is short, so far, but the main problem I'm seeing with it at the moment is that she doesn't seem to be anything beyond those quirks and foibles of her. Rainbow is dense at times, but she's not that dense. She's obsessed with coolness, but not to the degree of replacing every second word with it, to be a bit hyperbolic.

I know it's your style and normally it works for you - it's one of the things I enjoy about your work, actually - but I think you went a bit far with it here. Since the story is already finished, I really don't know how much you can do about it at this point, but, well, there it is. I hope it was helpful anyway.

And I will delete the rest of your conversation in about 24 hours, so please be sure to save anything you need by then. :twilightsheepish:

It's fine, I won't be missing it. You go right ahead.

Comment posted by Pusspuss deleted Jun 1st, 2016

Thus, another Pony has fallen to the glorious might of hands!

Comment posted by Pusspuss deleted Jun 1st, 2016

The tall form of Marshal emerged in all his birthday suit glory from the bush.

Isn't it winter? How resistant is this guy to the cold?

Dash is really gullible in this fic, to the point of stupidity.

"No time to lose!"

No Time Toulouse?

A COMPLETE STORY? FROM PEN MIGHTIER? THE WORLD MUST BE ENDING!

In all seriousness though, another great one.

did you just orgasm?

No, that was a fangasm. There's a difference.

So you, too, know the glory of Gladiator.

I can't believe I briefly fell in love with the cover art XD (Wich is why I will read this fic entirely!)0 no read

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