//------------------------------// // A Not So Silent Night // Story: Do Humans Hibernate? // by Pen Mightier //------------------------------// Her ears slowly perked up. The world was quiet, save the gentle crackling of the fire. Her bed was so soft, so comfy, it felt like she could simply lose herself in it for days. Its warmth curled around her form perfectly, cradling her like a foal. It even rocked… Wait. Her bed stopped rocking the day she crash-landed her foal crib. Her bed has no business rocking. What the buck is going on…? “♫~And I’ll fly and I’ll fly, to the ends of the sky, hmmm hmmmm hmmm~♪” She heard someone’s singing trail away into a cheerful hum. Her heart leapt at the voice. She recognized it! She quickly blinked the fuzziness out of her eyes, eager to see him. She was greeted by the sight of Marshal, humming through the breakfast muffin in his mouth, one hand occupied with what looked like the Hearthswarming wish list for every foal in Ponyville, the other curled around her and knotted to her own forehoof. She quickly realized where she was - on her back, cradled in his lap with her hoofsies in the air. She was filled with far too much relief to have any room for silly things like embarrassment. ‘It was just a dream. Thank Celestia he’s alright.’ Rainbow gave a soft little sigh. She resisted the temptation to tackle-glomp the poprocks out of him, contenting herself with simply marvelling at how well and alive he was. ‘Huh, what’s this…?’ Rainbow frowned, silently reaching up behind her ear for something sticking in her mane. To her surprise it was a pack of familiar purple flashcards bound on a string. ‘Could this...could this be the same ones Twilight lost? Was she...really in my dream?’ She thought, taking a peek at one. She almost lost her horseapples at the first one – a well-referenced encyclopedic collection of very inappropriate Hearthswarming pickup lines. She definitely lost her horseapples at the second one – a perfectly choreographed script of dirty talk with timings on the appropriate stage of intercourse they should be used. She was completely out of horseapples at the third – it was a carefully annotated diagram of a pony and a human joined together in a worryingly intimate act, complete with step-by-step instructions. Only one pony alive could have taken such a calculated systematic approach to dirty kinky hanky panky sex. ‘What the buck, Twilight?! How were these supposed to help us face certain doom?!’ “Hmm?” Marshal must have heard her lose all her horseapples. Rainbow felt the whole world slow down as his eyes began their journey downwards towards her and her little pile of catastrophe. She threw caution to the wind and went back to her original plan – She tackle-glomped the poprocks out of him, running him over like the world’s most adorable bulldozer. “Wh-whoah, Rainbow!” Marshal cried as she sent both of them flying backwards. There was a loud crash as they landed in an explosion of of half-wrapped Hearthswarming presents, wrapping paper and ribbons. “Avalanche!” Marshal warned, grabbing Rainbow and rolling out of the way as a massive sackful of presents upturned itself, flash-flooding them with enough gifts to put Santa Hooves out of a job for good.   As the streamers and ribbons finally settled like rubble and debris in the wake of a stampede of clowns, Marshal found himself lying atop the half-empty sack with a little pony clinging onto his chest. “Uh, Rainbow? You’re awake now. The wet dream’s over.” He finally broke the silence with a chuckle. “I know. I checked.” Rainbow peered meekly at him over the tips of her hoofsies. “Uh, sorry, there was a, um, twittermite on your chest.” “Oh,” he sniggered, “That wasn’t a twittermite. It was just a Martian, one of the many tiny citizens that inhabit the giant mobile colony of Marshaltopia. That’s me, by the way. The Martians have recently converted to a new religion, swearing to worship the glorious Thunderbutt, honouring her feast by sharing in the sacred drink of poprocks and holy bread the shape of hearts, praying that one day they may rise to taste the paradise that is her bountifully lush seat. I guess one of them just got a little over-excited at seeing their goddess.” “Pfft.” Rainbow managed to stifle her giggles for but a second before she broke out in earnest laughter. “Bwahahahah! L-lemme guess, their holy book’s written in pink crayon?” “Let’s just say it’s got a divine plot.” Marshal sniggered. “And they worship her by doing their ‘for-pony’ dance?” Rainbow giggled. “Twenty four times a day, seven days a week!” Marshal barely managed to throw in before the two were reduced to laughing, cackling wrecks. It took a while for them to run out of giggles and chuckles. But the happy silence and blushing smiles that followed seemed to have an endless supply. “Hay, Mars?” Rainbow finally spoke up, her voice soft yet filled with glowing conviction. “What is it, Rainbow?” Marshal smiled in reply, his one free hand idly stroking her mane. “What would the Martians think if Thunderbutt tells them she wants to become part of Marshaltopia?” Rainbow asked, her smile radiating hope. Marshal’s eyes widened. “R-Rainbow…” He gasped, “T-that...that would be heaven on earth!” He cried in joy. Rainbow felt herself fill with a calm, fervent certainty. In all her years of brash attitude and assertive energy, she had never felt more confident and sure than she was at that very moment in time. “I wanna do it, Mars.” Rainbow said with absolute vehemence. “I wanna be your home, forever and ever!” Her bright rose-coloured eyes gazed deeply into his own, willing him to feel her one wish, her dream, her one passion for the rest of her life. “R-Rainbow, I…” Mars gazed back at her through glistening tears. “I want to be the one to cross the finish line with you, forever and ever.” He closed his eyes as he leaned in, touching his forehead against hers. “I-In all my life, I never would have dreamed...I’d find home again.” He smiled softly as he opened his eyes, gazing into hers. In them she saw herself, perfect, complete, whole. “I’m home, Rainbow.” “Welcome home, Mars.” Rainbow half-chuckled, half-whispered through her own tears. “Stay a while, please?” She pleaded, softly. “Forever, Rainbow.” Mars answered her by gently caressing her cheek, slowly drawing her into him. She met him halfway. Their lips met softly, tenderly. Rainbow slowly drew him in deeper in her embrace.. Marshal responded by gently pulling Rainbow into him. Rainbow retaliated with a more passionate tug. Marshal struck back with a fierce unrelenting tenacity. At some point their tender moment graduated into a full-out kiss-of-war, each side unrelenting in their declaration of love, until finally the very air gave up and left them, forcing them into an overdue tie. The two collapsed panting on top of one another, their goofy grins mirroring one another, their rosy glows lighting up the room. “Oh man,” Marshal finally punctuated his panting with a chuckle, “I’ve been planning forever to ask you out to dinner tomorrow after we sort out the presents and the sleigh. I really suck at asking girls out, huh?” “Well, yeah. I beat’cha to it.” Rainbow grinned smugly. “But I’ll let you do the first date. Consolation prize and all that.” She giggled. “Gee, how generous.” Marshal rolled his eyes. He gave a soft, contented sigh as he ran his fingers through her silky mane. “Y'know, this is the most awesome thing that's ever happened to me, and this is coming from the guy who uncovered the Crystal Empire by making the world's biggest strawberry snow cone. So I'm totally not complaining when I say this was kinda sudden, Rainbow." He gave her a curious little smile, "So I'm guessing you're out of your funk, huh? Just had to sleep on it?” “Oh.” For some reason the question didn’t bother Rainbow anymore, let alone admitting to it. “I was just kinda wondering, do humans hibernate?” She said with a knowing smile. Marshal’s eyes widened as he silently put two and two together. The alarm clocks, the breakfasts, her little upset earlier, suddenly it all made sense to the human. “Rainbow, you could’ve just asked, you know.” His own words gave him pause for a second as he seemed to contemplate his very worth as a person. “Actually, I can see how asking me anything can be a bad idea.” He conceded with a sheepish grin. "Uh, sorry, my bad." “It’s okay, I already know the answer.” Rainbow smiled. “You do?” Marshal raised an eyebrow. “Yep, you don’t hibernate.” Rainbow’s smile slowly turned into an impish grin. “Because I’m never letting you get any sleep.” Marshal’s puzzled look slowly mirrored Rainbow’s own grin. “Heh, you realize tonight is Hearthswarming Eve, right? It’s the longest night of the year.” “Well, you can tell Hearthswarming to move over. I’m gonna steal its mantle and wipe the floor with it.” Rainbow's cocky grin only widened. “I’ll be your longest night ever.” Rainbow said, silently thanking a certain purple unicorn for her flashcards. She sighed as she put on a gentle smile. "Hay, Merry Hearthswarming, Mars." Marshal smiled back. "Merry Hearthswarming, Rainbow Dash."