I put the sheets into the machine along with some washing up liquid, then turn it on. I hope this doesn’t stain. I don’t know how it happened, how it got everywhere. Well, all I know is I’m not as horny as I went into my magic’s place.
I can’t believe I did that. In a library of all things. No, even better: the princess’ own bucking library. In her bucking bed. And I’m bucking twenty-six, not thirteen! Why the hell did I do that? Ugh… I need a shower. At least this time it’ll be a warm one, Thank Luna. If there is anything I learnt from seeing my magic surge in front of me is that cold showers are off the menu.
“Yo, Salty!” I hear below the moment I turn the water on. A little early, aren’t we, Vinyl? “You ready to go?”
“Just about. Let me just wash myself up a bit.” I shout out as I step into the jet of water. Oh… that’s heaven. It’s going to be a hard time turning this off when I’m done. Better get scrubbing before I fall asleep in here.
“Alright. I’m a little early anyway.” She shouts downstairs. “So, what happened to the window?”
“Twilight’s owl.” I call out, grabbing the loofah. “Turns out Owlo doesn’t know the difference between open and closed.”
“No kiddin’.” She guffaws. “Wait… Did she call her owl Owlo?”
“Nah, I shortened it.” Wow, this is a good loofah. The very best for the princess, I assume. “She called it Owlowliscious.”
…
“Okay, I thought the shortened version was stupid, but then I heard the full name.”
We both giggle as I keep scrubbing. Sorry buddy, but I can’t pretend she’s wrong. Well, props to my fur, the… uh… ‘protein’ is coming off quite easily. Then again, should I be surprised? My coat can survive ink stains, for crying out loud… a lot of ink stains.
“Wait… you haven’t had any of it yet?” She asks. Must have seen the bottle. “Like, I was worried I was going to drag your ass to the tournament. Looks like all you did was gave your bird toy some and that’s it. You Okay?”
Well, Sherclop, as much as I appreciate your work I didn’t ask you to analyse my office desk. I better tell her what’s up, anyway. She maybe the best pony to talk to about what just happened.
“I… I had a moment while you were away. See, I was going to...
... So, yeah. I feel better now. Or at least I think I do.”
Seriously? A surge right now? What the buck was that in aid of? Crap, how long have I’ve been in the shower? That’s wasting water! A bunch of ponies are dying of thirst in Zebrafrica and here I am blathering away in the shower like a chump as all this water just runs down my body for no reason! I turn off the shower and step out of the…
Uh…
Vinyl is here. In the bathroom. She’s got her shades above her horn and she’s smiling. This is getting awkward. “Aw… aw, Wound…” She whimpers. “C'mere.”
“Erm… Vinyl, what are y-Gah!”
She’s hugging me! I’m wet and she’s hugging me! I thought she wasn’t a fan of hugs… What the buck did I say when I was under? ‘I don’t know where the towels are so I may need to use your body to dry me off’? ‘I heard that there is a tactical advantage to being wet in a rap battle’? ‘I think Octavia may be into damp ponies’? What the buck did I say?
“I’m here for you, man.” She says calmly. “No matter what happens, you got me, you understand?”
I… I nod. I know I should do more than that and ask her what I said during a surge, but…
… maybe when she lets go.
“Oh, wow. Dude, I’m sorry. That must’ve been awkward, me hugging you like that.” The DJ says rubbing herself off with one of the towels. “So, they’re not always angry fireballs of slurs?”
“Well, they usually are.” I reply, also rubbing myself down. “They’ve been off the usual M.O. a few times since I got here; I returned to my senses crying my eyes out in Applejack’s place yesterday, and it was calmer than usual with Printed Page this morning. Now… well, I’m willing to bet this was different to the blast I gave to Pinkie before the party.”
“Shit, yeah.” She nods. “You sounded like you have mixed feelings about what happened. Like you’re happy that you found out about yourself, yet you feel a little sad about what you did to yourself.”
I look away. I think it’s safe to say, that’s exactly what I’ve been feeling.
…
“Oh… Oh! Holy crap!” I hear Vinyl squeal. “The theory! My theory!”
This makes me look back at her. “Your theory? What theory?”
I see her smiling like I just asked a million-bit question she knows the answer to. “Okay, I thought something up when Aunt Rain came to see us when I was a kid, right? Like, I ran to her when I saw her get off the boat, jumped to her arms and shit, totally stoked to see her for the first time in my life face to face, you know?”
I nod. I feel like she said all that because she felt like I wouldn’t know what that feels like. Fair enough, I suppose, since I was a tad too blunt with Rain Coat’s death and whatnot. However, I do know what that’s like. Clearly the DJ hasn’t seen me when it’s happy hour.
“Well, she seemed to surge when that happened.” She continues. “Usually it’s just her staring blankly as storm clouds start appearing. However, that one time? Just a mist. A nice, calm mist; could barely feel it. And she was smiling. We all had no clue why it was different that one time… But I had a theory. The folks think it doesn’t sound right. Shit, even I thought it was kinda dumb back then, but if what you’re saying is right then it should have some merit…
… The surges are attached to how you’re feeling.”
I take a deep breath before I say what needs to be said.
“Please explain.”
“Well… let’s take this surge you had right now. You were… you were...” She puts a hoof up to her chin, to try and find something to say. “Kinda happy but… kinda sad too.”
“Ambivalent?” That has to be what she’s thinking.
“Yeah!” She exclaims, pointing. “Do you feel like that right now? Bambi-Valium?”
“Ambivalent,” I say while nodding. Although she got the word wrong, she’s still kind of right. Happy because I learnt something about myself, sad because that surge my magic had was… sobering to say the least. Yeah… I’m ambivalent.
This theory Vinyl has… it seems to make more and more sense the more and more I think about it. Take how I got my cutie mark, for instance. Clearly I was mad because I just had it with the Curaçao brothers’ shit, so the surge took that anger and decided to let loose. Practically every surge after that is when I feel angered, harassed or annoyed in places where I feel angered, harassed or annoyed. My talk with Page this morning, I was calm. Therefore, my surge was calm. So… that surge that looked like a emotional breakdown at Applejack’s…
…
“Wound. You okay?”
“Hm? Sorry, I was mulling it in my head a little bit.” I say, wiping a few inklets in my eye. “So would that mean, if I’m happy, it would be a happy surge?”
“If you even surge at all, yeah.” She nods. Crap, that reminds me.
“What about dizzy spells? I had one at Fluttershy’s yesterday which my magic believed was a surge that he seemed to stop but he had no idea how he did so. Any… any theory on that?”
She tilts her head, looking dumb founded. Looks like the answer’s no. “Dude, I don’t even think Aunt Rain had anything like that. What… what happened at Shy’s?”
“Well, I got there and there was a letter from Twilight for me. See, I asked her highness beforehoof whether or not Rain can help me. I actually wrote down asking if she did have a detachable horn, by random happenstance.”
She winces. “Yeah... I guess you know all about her plans on that now, don’t you?”
“Oh, do I ever.” I reply sighing. “At the time, however, I didn’t. When Twilight told me she had plans for this, I remember that I asked her highness about this just randomly. So I pondered that whether the CMC was at play, knowing all this was written down or just me getting lucky and then… dizzy.”
“Huh.” Vinyl lets out. “Well I don’t know how it happened, but at least we know you can skip a surge. Maybe we can check out her place some day. See if it’s something there.”
“Well, she’ll be heading out to the Princess Summit tomorrow with the rest of them. They’re planning to give Twilight a surprise. Maybe when she gets back?”
“Yeah.” She nods, then looks out the window. “We should get ready to go. Hater D’s not gonna give herself a verbal beating.”
Heh. D wishes.
“Okay.” I say as I crack my neck. “I’m certain I packed a pair of jeans to hide my cutie mark… And a hoodie to blend in.”
“Awesome.” Vinyl smiles. “Oh… uh…
… Did you, by any chance, came up with a rap name?”
Big Papa Brine ?
Verbal Torturer? Maybe?
One-time Buster?
All Caps!
Name? I would go with Ion Disruptor, but that's just the nerd in me. Nerves are generally negatively charged. Neurons have proteins in the membranes that allow certain ions to pass through, like calcium, potassium, and clorine. When the table salt dissolves in a wound, it breaks down into the Na+ and Cl- ions, and the increase in Cl- disrupts the balance, triggering the nerves there. On top of that, nerves can't normally allow positive ions inside, but the influx of negative ions in the neurons opens some of the passages in the nerves, allowing the excess Na+ ions in, triggering the pain.
That is why salt hurts in wounds. It disrupts the ions. Hence "Ion Disruptor". Alright. My nerd-out is done.
Go with something simple that they won't make it close to his name
Grand Master Saltine, or A Pimp Named Salt-lick.
MC Venom Ink? he spits poisonous rhymes.
Sorry. Been re-reading some old Spider-Man, and Venom is my favorite villain for the web-swinger of New York. Just thought it'd fit, since, y'know, both have kinda 'alternate personalities' (Venom and his hosts/Salt's CMC magic personalities), similar color schemes (Venom has black and white/Salt has white and black), unusual bodily fluids (Venom has… symbiotic goop/Salt has ink tears), a connection to a power they can't understand (Spider-Senses/CMC magic)
Just the comic-book fan in me. Whatever you feel works, man.
Let's give this another go... B. Pressure (Burst Pressure).
Salier I think would be fitting
MC Salt.
A pun with sodium or something
Surge Assault.
Salty Sailor?
I know it's shit, but it is the best I could come up with.
Saltwater?
No?
I'll just show myself the door then....
1007 fics faved and this is the only one that has updated...i'm okay with this
Steve
6269823 I agree, A Pimp Named Salt-lick is the best.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
2:28_1/8/2015
since we're all coming up with silly names how about Nathan Clover, see what I did there?
6270056 This one's a winner in my book.
His name IS a rap name.
Cracker - cause they have salt on them.
Heh, a bit punny, but P. Nut works for me too.
He already has a cool rap name.
He's The 'Salt!
Sultan D. Woundz
MC Zest, The Zest, The Zestening? I don't know just spouting silly things at 4am.
He is the Salt Flat, because he will have you flat on your back!
edit:
terrible puns and names are terrible.
*hids crying n corner realizing he contributed to the non stop flow of salt, just like solo que*
*GASP*
HIS NAME SHALL BE SOLO QUE!
pattsworth, the only snail that gains power from the salt!
Salt Assault, it rhymes and fits with his theme of name and powers
Just call him Ricky Roast cuz all who step to him get burned
Salt Shady. I just don't know why but i want it to happen. Because he is the real salt/shady.
... I can not think of a good rapper name for myself, and you want me to give Salt a rap name? I am going to have to go with one suggested before, a Pimp Named Salt Lick.
How about Rage Quit? Y'know, cause he brings the salt
How About "White Hot" or even "Ink Stain" it's really up to you comrade.
6270127 I know that feel bro...
6270786 best name ever!
NAsty. Na as in salt? Geddit?
Hmmm...
Power surge?
Buck?
Stormagedon, Dark lord of all?
Salt the wound?
Strip the flesh! Oh wait. That's Krieg.
Pinch. As in, a pinch of salt.
Shaker? Salt shaker? Nope. Just, no.
And... I'm out of idea's.
Okay my first choice would be MC Halite Sparkle. Or just MC Halite.
Sparkle really is his last name now, and it's obviously well known. Halite, is of course rock salt.
If word has gotten around about Wound's adoption, this might further the belief that Wound is really a 'false Salt', at the competition.
So Deum. This sounds a lot better in my head but I'm not sure when it comes to a rapper name.
6270408 how about "The real Deal"?
6269823
Yes, A Pimp Named Salt Lick is best.
Also your avatar is quite horrifying.
6269821 *clapping for over an hour*
I am glad I found out about that.
this is definitely going in the "awesome" folder.
6272160 Thank you! It is, isn't it?
Hmm....
MC Smackdown? (since that's what they're going to do)
MC Painbringer? (Woundsalt? Salt in a wound?)
Alpha Scene because then you could use any of Charlie Scene's lines from Hollywood Undead and to me Wound fits in with them almost perfectly because of the way they use political commentary in their tracks
Woundsalt : comes from the saying of rubbing salt in a wound.
Similar phrase = adding insult to injury.
Can a rap name come from this? I don't bloody know.
DJ Schadenfreude. He takes pleasure in the misfortune of his opponents.
It's a fancy word, fitting in with his extreme literacy due to having all written word connected to him. I don't have anything else that's not somehow based on a salt pun, which is pretty well represented already in the comments.
Salty spitoon
6274735 IM A SPIT ON YO GRAVE AND INGRAVE A DICK ON IT! PEOPLE SAY IM INSANE LET ME PUT THE BRAKES ON IT ,LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK HOW BOUT A RUFFE GIN AND TONIC?
6279499 CHARLIE SCENE SEEMS TO BE SO HATED IT'S JUST ME BEING INTOXICATED CAUSE BEING SOBER'S SO OVERRATED HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD WHAT HAVE YOU CREATED? I KNOW THAT WE'VE NEVER REALLY MET BEFORE BUT TELL ME DOES THIS RAG SMELL LIKE CHLOROFORM?
6279586 YA KNOW THAT IM THE REASON PEOPLE LOCK THEIR DOORS BUT I GOT NUTHIN BUT TIME SO IMMA WAIT ON THE PORCH! YA GOT NOWHERE TO RUN TO SO DONT TRY HIDING CAUSE IM KNOWN TO BE LIKE JACK KNICKLESON ON THE SHINING!
Chip Shop, cause everything there is salty as fuck.