Some Brother's Do 'Ave 'Em
...
“… Excuse me?”
“Well… That’s… that’s what we’re supposed to call each other, right? Isn’t… isn’t that the tradition?”
Oh thank fuck, it’s that kind of brother. Fucking Saint Diamond Heart’s and their stupid tradition almost gave me a heart attack!
“Actually, we canned that when they realised it was confusing to orphans who actually had brothers… I take it the fact we’re having this conversation is because…”
Uh… he fell on the floor before I got to finish the sentence. I better play host. “Do… do you want anything, Page?”
His head comes off the floor to say “Just let me die here, thanks.” Before colliding with the ground again.
Something tells me he wants more than that. For starters, I think he wants to be somewhere more comfortable than his current position. “Do you want to die on the couch instead?”
He rolls over to look up at me. “Is it far?”
I point to the sofa. He looks at the furniture a few steps away. “Okay.” He said, as he tries to crawl his way to it and climb his way to the lower level usually reserved for flank cheeks. Looks like he’s not fully recovered yet from last night. I better go give him a coffee.
I walk to the kitchen, looking back at the crime scene that was my former nuisance. It was clear what had happened this morning. He got woken up by Ink Print who was still mad at him for going to the SorriNa last night, he accuses her of lying about him being adopted before he left, she pulled out a certificate to prove what she said was true, so he immediately comes here for... some reason. Sympathy, I guess. Or he wanted to see my face when he said we’re from the same orphanage, which... well, I bet it was priceless. Or at least just to get away from his mom and have a good rest. He does look like he needs the latter.
...I can’t believe I jumped to that conclusion, right now. Of course he meant Saint Diamond Heart metaphorical ‘brother’ and not actual brother! After Fluttershy doing that mistake, I do the same the day after! Goddess-damn, that was dumb of me! It must be that sentence making me jump to that conclusion. ‘You have a sibling.’ Shit, I’m still happy those four words were together like that. I’m willing to cut out that sentence, buy a frame and put it up somewhere for me to admire for the next time life throws me a curveball. Oh, what’s that universe? I’m caught in the rain? Don’t care; I have a sibling. Onderlandwah actually proven to be dangerous and now any children I make is going to have three eyes? Don’t care; I have a sibling. It turns out somepony wants to crucify me because they think I’m their messiah? Don’t care; I have a sibling. Printed Page turns out to actually be my actual brother?
…
Ah. That might not work to make me feel better in that situation… Mainly because it’s the problem. But seriously, what the fuck’s the likelihood of two ponies who knew each other for a mass majority of their life who live in the same city who both have magic… and now that I think about it, our birthdays are pretty close together like two separate ponies in two separate rooms tried to estimate the age of two separate babies that were found in the same basket…
…
You know, I kind of want it to be somepony else. No offence to… Whatever his real name is on the sofa in the next room, but I kind of wanted somepony I didn’t know yet. Somepony that won’t make this sound like something fresh out of a sit-com. Is that too much to ask? Somepony who besides from that brief time in the basket hasn’t met me my entire life as my brother or sister? Not somepony I know? Not somepony I’ve been annoyed at for my entire life?
Not him?
…
I better ask him his personal choice of hot beverage.
“Hey, I’m making us both some coffee. Do you want any cream or…”
You know how you forgot one thing to do and because of that leads to a chain of events you’re not proud of? Don’t you hate it when that happens? Well, guess what? I’m in one of those chain of events right now. I forgot to put the biology book away which means it was just open on the arm rest of the sofa. Right on the pages of CMC.
Guess what he is looking at right now?
And he’s put two and two together. I know that look on his face. That is the look on his face that indicates that he has calculated why such a book would be out like that, open to this certain section. He points at the book and then points to me. I think he wants me to confirm his calculation.
I nod.
“Wow. That’s… Wow.” He says, stunned. I’m just waiting for him to ask me something stupid about it. “So… you have prophetical dreams?”
Oh. Here I thought he’ll ask about the tears first. “Yeah. Actually had one about the mare in the book last night.”
He takes off his shades… even behind the redness I see the twinkle in his blue eyes. I think he wants to know what I dreamt.
“She’s, uh… doesn’t have the best ending.”
The twinkle disappears.
“Sorry to hear that.” He said. “Forgive me for asking but… what happened to her?”
Well, if he wants to know…
“She went a little nuts after predicting her father’s death so… she went out the Pegasi Way.”
… I don’t like the sudden silence. I better break…
“You… you have a form of omnipresence? Like how she does?”
Or wait until he does. That’s fine by me.
“Yeah… Everything that’s written down, I know about.”
“Everything?”
“Well, my magic needs to look for it, but… yeah.”
He puts his hoof up to his chin. He’s thinking.
“… Can you… can you find me?”
“What?”
“I mean my name. Sorry, still a little… fucked in the head.”
“Oh, right… Is this some kind of test?”
“Kind of.” He said, rubbing one hoof to the other. “See, I didn’t really catch my name when Mo… Ink Print threw the certificate at me.”
Stopped himself from calling Ink her mom. That’s… a thing. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. All I know is, it’s a thing.
Right. Page’s real name… Certificates… Ink Print and Printed Mint… Here.
This Certificate is to signify that We,
PRINTED MINT AND INK PRINT
are now the legal guardians ofPRINTED PAGE PRESSER
Under the eyes of Princess Celestia and Saint Diamond Heart Orphanage.
“…TO ALL WHO NEED IT MOST”
“It says Printed Page Presser.” I say out loud. “They add on the family name to yours wherever the guardians find suitable. So that means your name is…”
“Page Presser.” He concludes, and then eventually smiles. “That does suit me better. I mean, hell, my cutie mark is a printing press!”
I smile along until the kettle whistles. Then he winces. It is a little loud for a hangover.
“Sorry… You want some coffee?”
“Try need… Milk with two sugars, thanks.” He whimpers as he rubs his forehead. “Maybe some headache tablets, if there’s any.”
I walk back into the kitchen. It’s pretty clear he’s a little broken here, but I’m glad he’s fixing himself up quickly.
“You know,” I hear. “I always did want a brother… now, I got more than plenty! And a lot of sisters too!”
“You could say that.” I giggle. “So out of all the stuff they gave you, that’s the one thing they didn’t?”
“Yeah!” Mister Presser exclaims. “Or was it… Yeah, it was me wanting them to adopt you so you can be my brother!”
… I stick my head out of the kitchen.
“Fucking… seriously?”
“Yeah! Come to think of it, Ink telling me this means she gave me it anyway, right?”
“Well sure, but… fucking seriously?”
He sighs, still smiling.
“Look Wound, I get that you thought I was an annoying little shit back then. Fuck, I know I was an annoying little shit back then. However, if there was anything I felt the same now as back then it’s that… I just feel happy to be around you. That you’re in my life. That ponies send me stories about us… granted, most of them has one of us being screwed by the other, but I’m not happy because of that part! I’m happy that we’re there for each other in those things! I’m… I’m happy you’re here now. Sure, you aren’t here for me and this little thing with Princess Twilight is for you and… shit dude, if there is anyone who deserves all you have right now, it’s you! But… I’m happy you’re here for me right now. Where no-one in what I should be calling my family isn’t. You... you were the best brother I never had.”
…
“I… I got a letter from Canterlot…”
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Woundsalt Master Race
Woundsalt is magic internet... With the youtube comment section as his surges.
I might be a bit selfish with this, but focus on Woundsalt! MHM looks promising, yes, but I'm more invested in Salt's story.
5476157 The Salt Resistance?
You bloody troll.
Well done.
5476291 The best part is I did the same trick twice now.
5476254 and the possesion is caused by admins who abuse their power.
5476365 Can't wait to read the new chapter, can you?
5476385
I would call you a troll, but that's yet to be seen. Regardless, you are still very entertaining, and I look forward to more Woundsalt.
Personally, I think you should continue Woundsalt. However that doesn't mean to throw away your other fic, just find some time out of your day/week/month to write a chapter or two on MHM and spend the rest on 'Salt, time management/balance is key when writing multiple stories...one I still have yet to master lol I'm shit at organization
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_11_2014/post-16621-0-72979500-1417304550.jpg
5476292 You are an evil genius, keep up the evil work.
As for the other story, do whatever you want. These are your stories, so you should do whatever you think should be done.
You just pulled the same thing again on us didn't you? I can't believe you'd have the nerve to try the same trick twice. Well done.
Your story. It fucks my mind in the best way possible.
Ehhh I like it, but I fear it's becoming a little boring. Because there's not really any conflict, you know?
I mean, it started out interesting but if it becomes 'Guys life just keeps getting better and better!' there's nothing really to make it interesting.
5476961 Hmm, perhaps there'll be time soon for things to go tits-up...
Thanks for your two cents.
stick with salt, i really enjoy this, and it would be a shame to lose it cause you run out of ideas for it.
I pick salt
… Oh, that's it. That explains it… Using the metaphorical 'brother' thing from the orphanage. WHOO! I almost panicked!
5477599 You probably had the greatest reaction to this false alarm.
See, I found it weird how a lot of people didn't see it coming! It's not like I did the same trick before!
5477636 … Well, it's been quite the long break since the last few chapters, and when that happens, I forget certain details about stories. And to me, the whole 'brother' thing, while heart-warming, was still not quite a 'plot-important detail' in my opinion. That, and I forgot that you like to pull curveballs with this story. A lot. Y'know what? For screwing me over on this, here's a song, one of my new favorites:
Enjoy it, and keep working hard, my friend.
5477823 Nice to hear that. Not long now until you caught up!
5477835
Have been enjoying seeing this whole deal develop, and I believe I shall continue doing so.
All caught up now. Will be on my favorite's list for future updates.
As for your conflict... My advice is ultimately follow what you feel more interested in. However if that's not the issue and they're equal, probably continue with this, just because it represents much more of your invested time/effort/care? Does 'salt have a definite ending, where you could switch your attention over to a new story once it's done relatedly?
Every writer has their own system they work best under--to my knowledge many have a handful of in-the-works stories, which they routinely shift focus around on depending on their mood/inclination. If you work better focusing on one though, maybe you could just pre-plan others, and knock this one out before continuing to the next?
Anyways, just thoughts. I wish you luck deciding what you wanna do.
invest every second you have on this site to fan mail and woundsalt. i see no other reasonable line action
on a side note i could do some editing if you ever need any. just send it to my inbox and i could get some done. im in all electives with no homework, leaving me with excess time on my bloodied palms. :3
5478132 ... Well, I do need to fix up previous chapters... Think you can handle it?
5478285 ... You sure, MK? If you like, you can read the next chapter...
i.qkme.me/36e7gu.jpg#liar%20meme%20512x341
5478304 Am I? It's not like I done the same trick before.
Fool you once, shame on me. Fool you twice...
5478342 Trust me, that's not going to work. You're just going to have that new name related to Wound which in turn...
There is no escape.
5478537 Like that song disney implanted in our minds forcefully. It's a small world after all...
Okay, I just read into the third paragraph and I see where you're going with this. Good foreshadowing, subtle. But your tendency to have everything connect to the main story betrays you. I know who his family is. Roughly. The actual details can be hashed out later.
I will mention to anyone else reading this that the key is adoption rates and Woundsalt having a white mane.
5478809 Just being careful. I had someone PM me about a certain part... You'd probably guessed what part.
It's not very often that I stumble on a story that has me so invested that I want the new chapter right away. Off the top of my head I can only name a few, but this has wormed it's way onto the list.
Oh also, you're a jerk for pulling that "brother" stunt... It could still happen though, I won't put triple crossing past anyone.
5478393
I find it kind of funny seeing the "over privileged OC" thing that keeps popping up. Wound himself even says something like that (which is kind of weird since only fanfic authors talk about OCs - regular authors just call them their characters since everything in their stories is generally original).
What's funny to me about it is that there have been periods of history where this type of fiction was in high demand. There's even some very famous versions of the wish fulfillment tale, like Oliver Twist and Richie Rich.
Usually stories like this are enjoyed and then quickly forgotten, but the ones that stick around either made the characters interesting enough to be remembered (Richie Rich) or the story was written well enough that you rooted for the guy getting everything handed to him anyway (Oliver Twist). It's not a bad thing, it's just easy to do it badly.
My guess is Vinyl. Though, that might be a bit too convenient. White unicorn mare with red eyes who dye's her mane. Kinda like the white earth pony with red eyes and dyed his mane... XD
5479662 A reason to keep going?
5479662 *Incomprehensible
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KEEP FUCKING GOING GOD DAMN YOU
you piece of schist.......well played.
You sunnova bitch.
5479046
Lulz
Nice fake-out.
Oh thank Celestia.
You motherfucker.
8550516
I will abstain from crude language on the basis of my morals, but I share the sentiment.
Screw it. Author, you're an A hole!
...well it wasn't coming