Rap Battle #7
In the Palace Gardens, a statue stood, a creature formed from the parts of various others. It was captured in the oddest way, its every feature expressing a state of panic.
A guard approached it, smirking slightly. It wasn't that scary, not even in the light of the full moon. "Discord. What a joke. He didn't even have a good sense of humor." He walked around the statue as the talked, before noticing something odd. "...that fang's on the wrong side of his face...what's going on here?"
He tapped the stone tooth, curious. He leaped back as the statue fell to the ground, but didn't shatter. "...he's loose..." In horror, he tripped over himself before running straight to the princesses. "HE'S LOOSE!"
Lyra came out of the store, her back piled high with muffins. "Here's the fifty muffins you-" She quickly realized she was being ignored. "Hey, Ditzy, Derpy! The least you could do is-"
The muffins sprouted arms and legs, jumping off the unicorn's back and attacking Ditzy, effectively burying her. Derpy quickly leaped into the pile, eating the muffins as she went.
The mint-green mare stared at the events in front of her, confused. "...just what is going on around here!?"
"Ah, I do enjoy chaos, don't you?"
They all turned to the voice, half of them stunned to see Discord standing there, eating a watermelon and spitting out balloons. The other half were staring at him, not trusting him to stay his distance. Vinyl, for her part, muttered a few choice words about a writer and lack of creativity.
The god of chaos turned to Vinyl, a grin on his face. "I should thank you, Miss Scratch." She gave him a confused stare, but continued before she could talk. "If it weren't for your rap battles, I don't think I would have ever gotten out."
"DISCORD!"
He grinned even wider, turning around, arms wide. "Why, it's nice to see-" He blinked, seeing a large, dark sapphire mare instead of the white one he was expecting. "...you. Hello, Luna."
She glared daggers at him, landing on the ground before poking him in the chest with her hoof. "You know you don't belong here any more. Nopony likes your chaos, save for that Screwball mare. You should've stayed a statue!"
"My dear Luna, you offend me! I demand the chance to defend my honor!" He turned back to Vinyl, his smile slowly returning. "And I know just the way I will do so."
Vinyl sat for a moment behind her turntables, staring at the two powerful beings on her stage. They had been handed mics. Luna kept fiddling with hers, since it kept bopping her in the nose when she moved. Finally having enough, she tossed it back to the DJ and picked up a wireless headset, putting it on and feeling much more relaxed.
In the front of the audience, a small colt stood, staring up at the princess with a starstruck expression in his eyes. "Go, Luna! You can do it!"
Discord, on the other hand, was relaxing on a cloud of cotton candy. From somewhere in the audience, a voice could be heard cheering his name. He waved a hand sedately at the pink pony with the beanie cap.
Vinyl shook her head, wondering just how she got roped into this. Giving a small sigh, she started up the music. As it began, she couldn't help but give a small smirk, wondering just how this battle would turn out.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
VS.
BEGIN!
Mission begin! This is bound to be a cinch.
Far easier than beating on a sentry with a wrench.
I'll Fus-Ro-Dah on your flank like the Dovahkiin
Give you Amnesia - scare you right out of your skin!
You think you're so great with your chocolate rain?
Please! You wouldn't know humor if it pierced your stupid brain!
I'm the one who's gonna win. I mean, really, there's no contest!
I struck fear in ponies' hearts. All you did was make a mess.
My dear Luna, you should really spend less time on Steam.
If you think you can beat me, you're living a dream.
You've lost sight of what's real and what's illusion.
After a thousand years away, you choose to be in seclusion!
Your raps are so weak, they even make Tom seem to live.
Take your abacus and count the flying feathers I give.
Even for you, it should be easy, as the answer is none.
You'll be crying for your sister by the time that I'm done.
WE CONTROL ALL OF THE BODIES IN SPACE.
WE COULD TAKE THE MOON AND CRASH IT ON YOUR FACE.
OR RAIN METEORS ON TOP OF YOU INSTEAD.
EITHER WAY, DISCORD, YOU'D BEST WATCH YOUR HEAD!
Your power's worthless when I can poof threats away.
I become stronger with every word you say!
You made the night sky but you envy the day.
Just take a trip to the moon, girl - have a nice stay.
PRINCESS LUNA HAS BEEN BANISHED TO THE MOON!
SHE CAN'T CONTINUE THE BATTLE, SO -
WHAT'S THIS? THE SUN IS RISING EARLY!?
NO, WAIT! THAT'S NOT THE SUN! IT'S...IT'S-
Discord, if what you say is indeed true
I'll just love and tolerate the fight out of you.
You enjoy a good laugh, as do I, my dear.
But you need to kick your pranks into high gear.
Dancing buffalo just aren't cutting it, Dis.
I'm sure Screwball has some good ideas for us.
I rather agree that some fun needs to be had
But not from somepony who never had a dad.
Don't speak, my friend. I know just how you'll reply.
After all, you're a figment of my mind - you can't deny.
My goodness, what's wrong? You look rather weak, hun.
Grab your shades - I got you a room on the sun.
WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
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Very enjoyable. Luna&Celestia spit sick shit so focused it was something to behold. They won that hands down.
That was awesome. Gotta give it to Luna/Celestia.
Question:
Would you consider using OC characters from stories, or possibly authors from this site themselves, just to spice things up?
Oh and I vote for Luna.
I say Luna and Celestia won.
781848>>781861
Agreed. Discord, you dissappoint.
Got to give the win to Luna (Celestia too if they count as a duo. They do, don't they?).
The princesses won, hooves down.
I know what rap battle this refers to, but the exact name isn't there...
Still really good!
Vote for Luna/Celestia
Luna & Celestia FTW
I vote luna/celestia
Princesses win due to being banished to the moon cheating
Celestia's title card was pretty epic.
Her raps felt a little weak compared to the other two, but her last couplet was a great finishing blow.
Ahhhh....shit, I don't know who to chose..........damn.......buck it, I'll go with Nightmare moon, I mean Princess Luna. I like her more, not sure why.....maybe Trixie vs. Screw ball? (Epic villian battle!) Wait, I don't think you got Screw ball, Eni...or Trixie....damn. I want more villians! So yeah...Luna for the win!
Luna/celestia for the win
This was the best battle, by far.
Celestia/Luna beat Discord, and Celestia definitely took it all. (Sorry, Discord... you still did really well.)
Discord...lost.
Celestia/Luna
Luna and Celestia won for sure. Also, A good rap battle would be Trixie Vs. GIlda.
Luna and Celestia won, I guess, though it seems like cheating.
The royal sisters FTW. Also we need a Doctor Whooves vs Queen Chrysalis rap. Both are liars and thieves, one the love thief, one the thief of time. Just sayin
At first, for me, it was a toss up between Luna and Discord. But when Celestia came and bailed her out, I'd say the Sisters take this one.
Nice try though, Discord. Trollestia strikes again!
Discord wins! Because someone has to say so.
Luna/Celestia.
Discord had a few good rhymes, but they were merely child play. Luna and Celestia rapped to kill, and they brought it hard. Man, we need to start handing these out to a few established fan Voice actors, and get these made into audio. It would be AWESOME!
Luna/Celestia pretty darn easily. I still stand by seeing Big Mac vs. Shining Armor, or perhaps Zecora vs. Gilda. Big Mac and Shining because of the older brother thing, and Zecora and Gilda because of the non-pony factor. Plus it'd be interesting.
781901 ben franklin vs. billy mays
781933 wait a minute.....how did you escape the torture room
Enigma my friend you NEVER cease to AMAZE me
This was THE BEST battle yet, no wonder your getting featured. You definitely deserve it.
Luna and Celestia get my vote
Cant wait for more
Discord, you disappoint. Y U NO INSULT LUNA ABOUT PEDOFOALIA WITH PIPSQUEAK? So obvious, I'm sorry.
Oh goodie, this was the battle I rehearsed for and was ignored <u>
Celestia shouldn't have entered, but I'd say this one was a tie.
HOW DARE YOU SEND LUNA BACK TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
The Royal Sisters.
You should do Fluttershy vs. Gilda next.
Also, I saw the Firefox logo in Celestia's title card. Clever re-use of that picture indeed.
I'm sorry, you said there was a battle heredl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png ? All I saw was Discord getting the ever-living chaos beat out of him.
Luna!!
My vote goes to the princesses.
Now we just need to see a rap battle between the two sisters...
Luna and Celestia
Luna and Celestia kicked flank. Discord's raps were just disappointingly weak in comparison.
Luna!
Send Celestia to the sun for once.
Luna/Celestia won
781991
Dang! You beat me to it.
I say Luna wins.
Also for the next one you should have Luna come back as Nightmare Moon and battle The Doctor.
Somepony get the princesses a new set of crowns, they are now the royalty of rapping! Discord just punked it and tried to duck out of it by sending his competitor to the moon. Plus Luna gets extra points for her references.
Luna&Celestia won, hooves down.
635378 You must not seriously know who I am.....got some help from Fluttershy, something about training with Iron Will for a month or something, also knew that I could not let Spike/Twilight romance go to hell and would make the afterlife freeze over before that happens....anyway, I was having fun! Come on, Eni, how could you not allow us to be....ouselves?637362 Her name is Sliver Spoon. But...but Derpy would messacure Discord!!! There would be no hope and Derpy would become.......the new VILLIAN!!!!!!!!!!! I just had an amazing idea!!!!636943 That dear sire/madam would just be sick as buck!!!
I say discord, and now everypony is gonna reply to this comment rebuking me.
For the next one, knighty vs. Sethisto.
If you wanna keep it canon, tom vs. Bloomberg
If you don't wanna do that, I got nothing
i'm honestly surprised nopony has tried to guess what all the references that were hidden in here are...
I vote for the Royal Sisters.
As much as I like the princesses, I'm afraid I'm siding with Discord on this one. The abacus line had me
I'm not a fan of puppeteers, but I've a nagging fear someone else is pulling at the strings.
Something terrible is goin' down through the entire town wreaking anarchy and all it brings.
I can't sit idly! No I can't move at all!
I curse the name, the one behind it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!
DISCORD! I'm howling at the moon, and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon.
DISCORD! Whatever did we do to make you take our world awaaaaaay?!
DISCORD! Are we your prey alone? Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
DISCORD! We won't take it anymore, so TAKE YOUR TYRANNY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does anyone know the sound that pandas make? Why do cats meow?
I'm fine with changing status quo, but not in letting go, now the world is being torn apart.
A terrible catastrophe played by your symphony; what a terrifying work of art!
I can't sit idly! No I can't move at all!
I curse the name, the one behind it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!
DISCORD! I'm howling at the moon, and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon.
DISCORD! Whatever did we do to make you take our world awaaaaaay?!
DISCORD! Are we your prey alone? Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
DISCORD! We won't take it anymore, so TAKE YOUR TYRANNY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna look up cute stuff for the instrumental break.
DISCORD! I'm howling at the moon, and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon.
DISCORD! Whatever did we do to make you take our world awaaaaaay?!
DISCORD! Are we your prey alone? Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
DISCORD! We won't take it anymore, so TAKE YOUR TYRANNY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That being said, the princesses won, despite the fact that I put up DISCORD lyrics.
I WITH THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE, HEREBY CLAIM MY VOTE TO BE UPON THE ALICORN PRINCESSES OF EQUESTRIA
Luna, just for that first paragraph.
634311 You mean lover vs. lover.....or at the very least best friends or good, nobel caring friends......right?
781998
i'd have to make a title card for big mac before i could use him. didn't you read my author's notes?
634884 That would be SICK!!!! I vote for CMC, and the battle has not even started yet.