//------------------------------// // Rap Battle #24 // Story: Epic Rap Battles of MLP // by enigmaMystere //------------------------------// A lone dragon waited outside the Ponyville School House, a picnic basket in his claws. He planned on taking a certain white unicorn out on a date in the park. He thought back to his conversation with Twilight. He was glad she was so understanding, despite the initial misunderstanding. His ear-fin perked up, hearing the sound of approaching hooves. That, in itself, didn’t intrigue him, but the fact that said hooves were rather angry did. “...how the heck do hooves sound angry, anyways?” A familiar striped face appeared, looking down at him. “Oh, if it isn’t Spike, you dear! Tell me, is Cheerilee around here?” He nodded, pointing his opposable claw behind him. “She’s inside, Zecora, teaching a class.” The zebra nodded kindly, heading inside. Spike sighed, looking up at the clouds and daydreaming about flying. He was brought out of his little imagine spot by a hoof on his shoulder. Turning to the owner, he found himself face-to-face with the very filly he was waiting for. “Sweetie!” He hugged her close, planting a quick, chaste kiss on her lips. “What’s going on? I could’ve sworn you had a couple more hours before you got out!” Sweetie shook her head, smiling brightly. “Nope! Miss Cheerilee let us out early!” She brought a hoof to her chin, recalling what happened. “And that’s how Princess Luna prevented a war between Equestria and the Great Griffon Lands!” Cheerilee put her pointer down, beaming at her class. “And that’s it for current events. Now, let’s get started with Arts and Cr-” “Miss Cheerilee, if you’ll pardon me.” Zecora stepped into the classroom, a frown on her face. The magenta mare nodded, never losing her smile. “Hello! I didn’t expect you to be here, today. I don’t have any lesson plans you can help with.” The zebra shook her head, her frown deepening. “Cheerilee, if you please, I have a problem to appease.” She moved forward, eyes narrowed in annoyance. “You invaded my home, took the chest. I want it back by a contest.” The school teacher finally lost her smile, confusion quickly taking its place on her face. “...beg pardon?” Zecora smiled slightly, eyes narrowing a bit more. “A challenge of rhymes, Miss Cheerilee. If I win, you return my property.” The magenta mare scowled, finally understanding what was being said. “How dare you accuse me of stealing! I won’t take this, and I certainly won’t have a...a...” An orange filly raised her hoof, calling out to them. “A rap battle?” “Yes!” Cheerilee nodded, glaring at the zebra. “I will not participate in a rap battle!” “Oh, teacher, you have too much pride! Why not let your class decide?” Zecora turned to the fillies and colts, smiling kindly. “It’s up to you, young ones of this class. Who wants to see me beat her-” “Zecora!” The teacher stared at her, eyes wide in horror. “Don’t you dare say that in front of them!” The shaman blinked, looking at the magenta mare. “...flank of glass.” The class cheered loudly, even Diamond Tiara and Featherweight. Cheerilee groaned, rubbing her head with a hoof. “...fine, I’ll participate in a rap battle...” She walked out the door, grumbling to herself about how she didn’t have the item Zecora was talking about. That evening, Fluttershy found herself behind the turntables once more, a genuinely concerned look on her face. She watched as her dark red friend helped the two rappers put their headsets on. He eventually joined the timid mare, sitting next to her. He gave her a reassuring nudge, smiling softly. “Don’t worry, ‘Shy, I’m sure everything will turn out alright.” The butter-yellow pegasus groaned, holding her head in her hooves. “...a-are you sure Vinyl can’t do this?” Enigma nodded, frowning slightly. “You saw the flower on her bedroom door. You know what that means.” He glanced at the teacher, tilting his head in curiosity and mumbling to himself. “...still, it’s rather odd...” Fluttershy, somehow, didn’t hear him. She started the music, beginning the battle with less enthusiasm than normal. EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP VS. BEGIN! Attention, everypony! Class is in session! Watch as I teach this crazy zebra a lesson! She’s supposed to be a diplomat from the zebra lands, But she hides in her little hut instead of making friends. You’re a black magic pony, and you can’t sing a note. I’d brag about myself, but I’ve been taught not to gloat. Tell me, what happens when you can’t rhyme a word? Think about it; your name can’t rhyme! How absurd! You call yourself a teacher, but there’s little you know. You thought the deadly Cutie Pox was just an amusing show. I may not be a witch, but I’m not afraid to mix Up a brew or maybe two to see through your tricks. You use pictures to teach - what, can’t you spell? Just leave, and suck your blood somewhere else. You’re a mosquito - a pest that nopony wants around. Go on with your preaching while I dance to a better sound! Heads up - we’re starting the advanced courses, now. Too bad knowledge can’t keep you from being ugly, sow. Take your glowing dust and make yourself a coltfriend - It’s the closest you’ll be getting to a date, in the end. I like to help my little ponies bloom and smile in cheer. When they see you, they hide and tremble in fear. You’re a bane of all that’s pure, and an angry witch, too - You can change just one letter, and it would still be true! You fell for a trap that three little fillies set. How would you like to meet my Manticore pet? All of your futile raps make me want to choke. You’re terrible at rhymes; you’re just a Poison Joke. I cure many an illness and bring back teeth. Have some advice; I’ll be sure to keep it brief. To impress your “snuggie-wuggie”, you’ll need more than perfume. When you chose to face me, teach, you sealed your doom. WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP! Enigma walked off the stage, confused. “...what use would an earth pony have for the Alicorn Amulet? It just makes no sense...” In the Ancient Castle of the Royal Sisters, two beings looked down at a scrying ball, watching the pegasus as he walked off into the night. The taller of the two frowned, her teal, reptilian eyes narrowing in disgust. “That mare makes a valid point.” She glanced over at the shorter pony, glaring slightly. “Why give me that hair if the one it belongs to lacks motivation?” The black unicorn chortled, never taking his red eyes off the crystal. “It’s really quite simple, Moon.” A smirk tugged at the edge of his mouth, revealing the fang inside. He spun a rock around with a hoof, finally looking over at his companion. “We just needed to see who would catch on to it...” He brought his hoof down onto the stone, sneering. “...and remove them from the equation.” The rock shattered under his hoof. Another joined them, scowling in anger. “I have tried everything I could think of, but that chest just won’t open!” She glanced at the ball, seeing the red stallion. She brought a hoof up to her chin, a devious smile crossing her face. “...maybe we need somepony...pure of heart...” The trio smiled at each other, nodding their agreement. The pony in the scrying crystal, of course, remained completely unaware. Enigma paused momentarily, sneezing twice. He rubbed his nose with a hoof, frowning with worry. “...someone’s talking about me...and two...that means it’s bad...” His ear twitched, and he glared up at the sky, annoyed. “I AM NOT A MARE!” The evil triumvirate stared at the scene in the crystal ball, rightly confused. The dark alicorn rubbed her head with a hoof, concerned. “...he couldn’t have heard me...could he?” The tallest of them put a hole-riddled hoof to her chin, confused. “...I swear, that pony looks familiar...”