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Twenty Three

You lean on the console seductively, accidently knocking off a glass valve which shatters on the ground, spilling out mercury vapours. “I know they say you have two hearts, Doctor, but I think you have three. And the third is mine!”

Whooves looks confused, and then down at his chest. “You mean a teleportation accident sent one of your organs into me?” he gasps in shock. “We need to get this fixed!”

“No,” you take a step forwards, looking deep into his eyes. “I mean that I’m in love with you Whooves. Do you want to see if I’m bigger on the inside than the outside?” You waggle your eyebrows and trace a finger over his chin.

Doctor Whooves smacks a hoof down on a big button labelled “PANIC” several times. Nothing happens save for a light bulb flashing in the corner of the ship. “Ah, I’m really not that sort of pony!” he blurts out. “Also I snore in bed.”

“Perhaps you could regenerate!” you suggest brightly. “I could stab you and then you could regenerate into the sort of pony that could pursue a healthy relationship with me!” It sounds pretty logical, and you hope that this will sway Whooves to your side.

“That… that’s a good idea…” He backs away from you warily, pulling a lever on the centre console, the massive time rotor at the heart of the ship starting to wheeze and groan. “I know, to celebrate our love, let’s go on a honeymoon right now!”

You beam, happy at having successfully seduced Whooves so easily with your brony powers. “I’m glad you see it my way!” you simper, posing sexily against the console.

With a thud, the time rotor stops and the doors open. “Well, here we are… dear!” Whooves gives a nervous grin as he waves towards the doors. “Time for our honeymoon! You first!”

“An excellent suggestion, my love!” You stroll out of the doors, wondering what exotic location Whooves has decided to take you to. You seem to be standing in a forest, surrounded on all sides by dense foliage. “Hmm, the Everfree Forest…” you exclaim. “I guess this could be sexy.”

You take another step through the foliage, only to come face to face with a gigantic snarling manticore, its teeth bared and tail ready to sting. You turn around, but Whooves is waving from the door of the TARDIS. “I’ve changed my mind, have fun!” With that, the TARDIS vanishes with a ‘vworp vworp.’

You gulp as you see the manticore stalking closer, ready to pounce.

What will you do?
Run! Run like a little baby!
Do what Fluttershy did in that one episode and cuddle it.