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Fifty Four

“Actually Rarity…” you stop walking towards the sultry pony in order to flip over a nearby table. “I’m here to tell you what an awful pony you are!” Rarity gasps and start to move, but you shush her and motion her to stay.

“Hear me out, Rarity!” You pick up a piece of dressmakers chalk that is lying nearby and start to draw a diagram on a wall. “In season one, you weren’t my favourite pony, but you weren’t the worst either. You were sweet yet sassy, confident yet friendly. But then season two came…” You shake your head sadly. “And suddenly you were a caricature of your former glory. Being blind to the needs of your sister! Abandoning your friends! Obviously shipping yourself with Spike instead of me! No Rarity, I don’t love you.”

You pause dramatically. “I pity you.”

Rarity stares back. “I have no idea what you are talking about!” she hisses, as her horn glows and a rather large and heavy sewing machine floats into the air. “Now, get out of my house before you’re sorry!”

“See!” you waggle the chalk at Rarity. “Season one Rarity would never do th-“

You don’t get to finish the sentence, as a large metal sewing machine bounces off your head. “Okay, okay, I get the hint!” You scramble for the door as sharp knitting needles start to fly in your direction like javelins.

“Frickin’ season two Rarity!” you grumble as you escape into the sunshine of Ponyville.

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