Choose Your Own Adventure: Brony Hero of Equestria

by Blueshift

Thirty Eight

As the ponies watch you expectantly, a sly thought crosses your mind. Perhaps you can have a bit of fun with this. “It’s so great to see you here today!” you announce, making eye contact with each pony in the audience in turn. “As you know, I am the Brony Hero, nee Coppola, nee Power Man, otherwise known as Hollywood actor Nicholas Cage.”

To your surprise there is a long gasp from the audience, and a pony at the back shouts “it’s the Ghost Rider!” before fainting.

“Oh…” You trail off, scratching your head awkwardly. You had hoped that you’d be able to trick the ponies into thinking you were a famous actor back on Earth, but somehow they seem to recognise the name. Perhaps Nicholas Cage’s fame is universal?

“So you… know about Hollywood actors?” you venture, looking to the mayor.

“Oh yes!” she trills happily. “Princess Celestia enjoys showing your films at the Canterlot theatre, Mr Cage! We all think you’re amazing!” All the ponies in the audience suddenly start to clap and cheer.

You stroke your chin as you realise what is happening. Whilst the ponies are obviously big fans of Nicholas Cage, as all sane people are, they probably can’t tell humans apart. To the average pony, you look exactly the same as the devilishly handsome Mr Cage.

“That’s right!” you spread your arms in triumph. “I am Nicholas Cage; I live in a mansion and every night I read Action Comics issue one before I sleep!”

A little white unicorn head pops up in the middle of the crowd. You smile – it is none other than Sweetie Belle, the cute little filly sister of Rarity. “Mr Cage, Mr Cage!” she squeaks over the din of the cheering crowd. “My sister loves you! I know she’s busy but please please please come and see her!”

You are about to respond, when a yellow pony with an image of a jar of honey on her flank clambers desperately onto the stage, looking at you with wild eyes. “No, Mr Cage, you must come with me!” she cries, throwing herself at your knees.

“Get off my knees!” you shout, brushing the strange pony off you. “Who are you, and why are you better than Rarity?”

The pony looked up at you. “My name is Honey Trap!” she gasps out. “And I know the location of the Time Orb, but only the unique talents of Nicholas Cage can possibly rescue it!”

Rarity or your mission – what a choice!

What will you do?
Go with Sweetie Belle to see Rarity
Go with Honey Trap to find the Time Orb