Viper made her way carefully towards Skid Row. The message that had literally flown in her window just as she was planning how best to make use of the Snake Talisman's invisibility had been quite plain. It stated that they knew exactly where she was, would continue to do so at all times, and unless she wanted to face a far worse situation, she'd meet them on Skid Row during the Thanksgiving Day parade, to trade the Snake Talisman for the Pink Puma. Viper wasn't one to even consider such things normally - pre-arranged trades just screamed trap - but the idea that whoever sent the message could somehow track her location had her reconsidering.
As she made her way to the street, her caution rose up all the way to paranoia. She didn't recognize the people at either edge of the blocked off section of road dressed in construction worker outfits, but she recognized the way they were standing. These were government agents, and professionals at that. If the road was actually under construction, she'd eat her ski mask. For whatever reason, a few agents were in position to ensure no one who wasn't supposed to be there was on the road during the trade, just in case the parade - which went down a parallel street - didn't provide enough secrecy.
She thanked her lucky stars and sign that she'd made preparations for just such a situation. She wasn't about to walk into a trap without a way out, or make a fair trade with amateurs if she could get around it. Especially not with government agents.
She went in over the buildings, and saw something that made her even more nervous. There weren't agents lining the street, like she'd expected. Instead, they were only at either end of a marked off section, leaving the area between practically deserted for a long stretch. This was beginning to seem less and less like the promised trade, and more and more like a trap...one with potentially deadly consequences if she sprung it.
However, that suspicion was somewhat assuaged when she saw only the four girls - one human, three equine - from the museum waiting for her, staring down the street as though waiting for her. She quickly and quietly dropped in behind them, planning to catch them off guard, but as she dropped she saw the pegasus' feathers twitch, and the group immediately turned to face her, two sitting on a small cyan cloud and the unicorn and human standing on the ground.
"You bring the Talisman?" the unicorn demanded bluntly.
"You bring the Puma?" Viper countered back, deciding to keep the tone as at least somewhat professional. At least none of them were wearing black hats and trenchcoats...even if the three fillies could probably get away with it, given whatever was making them seem 'ordinary' and 'normal'.
Jade pulled the Puma out, revealing it in her hand, while holding her other hand out. Recognizing what was being asked, Viper held out the fake Talisman she'd prepared, making the swap at the same time. "Pleasure doing business with you four," she said warmly, and meant it. Even if she was cheating them, it was refreshing to see such optimistic idealism in the young. Beyond that, their approach was much more straightforward than that of anyone else in the criminal community.
"In that case, how about you give us the real one in your back pocket?" the unicorn stated pointedly.
Viper flinched. Probably should have expected that when dealing with a freaking unicorn, she thought to herself. "Can you blame me?" she asked disarmingly, as she slipped her hands into her back pocket. "It's my sign..." Her hand closed around the Talisman and tightened even as she deposited the Pink Puma in her other pocket. "And so is 'Exit'." With that, she vanished, and she took to her heels.
She expected pursuit, but heard none. Did they give up already? she thought in confusion. She started to turn her head back to look, but instead focused on a loud crash from inside a nearby shop. She was able to take in the sign above the window - "Mushnik's Flower Shop" - before the front window shattered, and thorny vines lashed out, unerringly seizing her four limbs in a thorny grip before lifting her into the air. Viper had just enough time to wonder which unrealistic situation she'd seen enough of to know what sort of situation she'd stumbled into - B movies or Hentai - before the bulb of a massive Venus Fly Trap extended through the broken window, seeming to glare down at her before opening its mouth and revealing dozens of razor sharp teeth.
B movies it is, and my favorite at that, Viper thought to herself, her fears reverting back to just 'for her life' as - unexpectedly yet unsurprisingly - the flower began to sing.
"Better wait a minute
Ya better hold the phone!
Ya better mind yer manners
When ya tangle with mah girls!
Don't you mess with my lady,
You got a lot of gall!
We do things our way
...or not at all!"
Viper was torn as the plant continued to sing. She was, of course, abjectly terrified just from the idea that the ones she was tangling with could field the original 'Mean Green Mother From Outer Space', let alone the fact it looked like she was about to become a meal to said being. On the other hand, it was taking a lot of her willpower not to bob her head along to the tune and snap her fingers.
She was saved from this dilemma by the approach of the four girls. She felt Jade clambering up the vines behind her until she was plainly visible. "Now, I'm sure you've reconsidered the matter somewhat, haven't you?" Jade asked calmly, once more holding out her hand.
Feeling the vine holding the hand actually gripping the Talisman lax somewhat, she knew exactly what was expected of her. Reaching over, she deposited the Talisman in Jade's hand, smiling nervously as she turned visible again. "No hard feelings?" she asked worriedly.
"None at all," Jade promised. "To be honest, we expected you to run." Reaching out with what to Viper was incredible bravery, she patted the side of the bulb as she would a hunting dog that had brought back a large goose. "It's why we had our backs to this guy."
Viper allowed herself to chuckle as she was gently lowered to the ground, not even a prick on her skin from the thorns. "I knew the government was starting young, but this is ridiculous."
"Oh, we aren't agents," the pegasus corrected. "...yet..." she added hopefully.
"Still, I think I'll get out of this game before I have to tangle with you lot again," Viper decided. "When the opposition can field something like this..." She gestured helplessly to the plant as it - much to her surprise - shrunk down to the size of a German Shepard rather than the size of an elephant, and calmly arranged itself for the yellow pony to sit on it under the bulb. "Well, I got into this game to be on the winning side."
"Ya still could, ya know," the yellow pony suggested, getting surprised glances from the others. When she put her hooves above her ears like horns, the others nodded in understanding. "If'n ya want, we could give ya a call when we need yer skills, and put in a good word for ya with the higher ups."
"Grease the wheels for you going legit," the unicorn added.
Chuckling, Viper reached into her back pocket and pulled out a card, handing it to Jade. "Don't share that with just anyone," she requested firmly, "but you can reach me here." Turning, she sauntered off, certain that they were done with her now...and she was ready to start actually going legit.
She hadn't even been surprised to find an ordinary rock in place of the Puma in her pocket. These kids were good.
I expected more trouble than just a broken window.
Why did Apple Bloom pantomime horns? Batman?
Lost it at "Better wait a minute"
7473017
El Toro. She was suggesting that Viper being involved with the Talisman might be as destined as El Toro's involvement.
Well then. It seems Viper spends her time watching the fun videos.
...
...
...
Old B-movies and musicals is what I mean.
Ah - another story I can sing along with! The other being MFD. Truly delightful.
Poor Viper. Never really stood a chance.
Chapter Thirty Six
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 24
"One More Thing!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 42
Very nice chapter. I like that Viper played them and got played in turn, leading to her respecting them. Still want to see the girls try to hook her up with Jackie.
Yep, those kids are good alright Viper.
7473141 Cutie Mark Crusaders Shippers, yay!
7473050
i.sli.mg/VNkX87.jpg
In the words of Nick Wilde: It's called a hustle, sweetheart.
7473040 Smart girl.
And another member of the expanded J Team in place. May she see more action in this version of events than she did in canon.
Seriously, the writers seemed to love to have El Toro on. Nothing against the guy, but I like Viper too.
The fanfiction reader in me is pleased by this chapter.
The immense Musical Little Shop of Horrors fan in me is angry at the change in lyrics that cased my brain to stumble when reading.
The diplomat in me has tied up the LSoH fan and thrown her in the basement of the Amityville Horror house.
Seems the girls didn't expect to... B-rated so harshly by Viper.
Guess the girls really knew how to... plant an ambush.
Guess Viper's consolation prize is... pocket rock.
7473241
Nope. Jade pulled it out of her pocket while climbing the vines.
Funny how I saw Little Shop of Horrors for the first time today!
7473225
*thumbs up* Good one! Say... Where's Papyrus?
7473040
I wonder if Viper has an inner-squeal-girl from seeing the Cutie Mark Crusaders?
Smooth, girls! Smooth!
This chapter made me giggle evilly multiple times. It may have been because I jammed to Mean Green Mother, through most of it.
7473359 i believe its a form of music?
Did Cumulo get a dye job? I could have sworn he was Rainbow Dash Blue.
7473613 Maybe he's not housebroken yet?
7473249 I honestly assumed it was an ordinary rock the whole time. Though I suppose I should have known such illusion magic was beyond SB's abilities.
7473040 Please make this ship real. The Jackie and Viper one that is.
7473564 i am unsure, though given the context, it would be logical
That they are, that they are.
7473040 I was hoping that would be the case. Although to be fair, Jackie should have one, monkey perhaps?
7474285 well, i did a quick google to confirm, and according to urban dictionary 'pocket rock' often refers to a pint sized hot chick...so maybe he was talking about Sweetie Belle?
7474824 Not sure, but I think it'd fit.
7474821 creepy perhaps, but it wouldnt be the first time...and the Monkey is a
changling, by the way...
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
7474839 Why wouldn't he?
superiorpics.com/movie_pictures/mp/2011_Kung_Fu_Panda_2/2011_kungfu_panda_2_fkit_006.jpg
This should totally happen.
7474844 when i made that post, ur reply was not present...interesting trivia. Master Monkey was voiced by Chan. most of the Furious Five come from a style of kung fu known as Five Animal Style: Tiger, Snake, Crane, Monkey, Dragon. Mantis Style is a standalone...
7474896 hey, im not the one who came up with this stuff, i dont know the reasoning behind it...
7474892 Or he could use it just for the monkey, aint broke don't fix it.
7474896 Not all animals are equally stylish...
7474835
7474821
Actually, I was more referring to the music and literal side of the pun, not the current one you were discussing which coincidentally enough is the name of a song made by a German band back in 2001. Here's an excerpt from Google:
Not sure how the urban dictionary option came up first though.
7475886 i did a Google search...that one was option four...
7475910 Ahh, you meant you looked straight for the urban dictionary result. It's okay, not all puns are literally in the dictionary.
7475922 no, i meant that it was the only result high on my search results that wasnt 'pocket rocket' or something like that...i found no entry referring to an album of that name...
7475950 Huh, weird. Did you try searching my quote? It's an excerpt from Wikipedia.
7475372 He might, but we can both agree that seeing his Kung Fu Panda form in this story would be pretty cool.
7473225 I'm not much of a critic but this chapter... rocked.
Viper had no idea what she was getting into... Audrey III was the only one with a 'bulb.
Should a stuck one of these in her pocket, would have been at least a word accurate trade.
picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/iyt3h4-i.jpg
At least they still have this...
theconsciouslearner.com/images/pink_panther.jpg
img1.ak.crunchyroll.com/i/spire1/c10fa5b8445dd9520877618fddb1c8ef1299473134_full.jpg
7473613 They had to use the bathroom somewhere while waiting for viper.
7510680
7473225
Pfft...snerk...HA HA HA HA!