Twilight Sparkle is tired of this nonsense.

Every day, a slew of articles all focused on the minute details of her life invade her beloved newspapers. "Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches." "Twilight Sparkle Hates Tea." "Twilight Sparkle Uses a Microwave." "Twilight Sparkle Makes Toast." All of it clogging up her precious sources of information from cities across Equestria.

But no more. The time has come to put an end to it, once and for all.

Written with thanks to Marceline from the #FimFiction IRC and for no good reason other than it sounded funny in my head.

Twilight's had some time to think about what happened during the Tirek crisis, and now she has only one question on her mind:

Did Twilight get Celestia's immortality or not?

When she confronts her former mentor about it, she learns some interesting things about definitions, technicalities, and necromancy.

More importantly, she learns that even the greatest of ponies have their weaknesses.

A/N: Mostly TwiLestia friendshipping, and lots of headcanon. Also one or two cameos.

This story is a sequel to Let's Be Evil!

Pinkie Pie's at it again! This time, she comes up with a game for her and her friends to play wherein they randomly choose eligible stallions out of a bag, and have a month to make a love connection with the stallion they choose.

Seems simple enough, right?

...yeah, right.

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Our six heroes decide to settle down for the night with a few bottles of their choice beverage and a few hands of poker.

The night was going so well until Rarity decided to wager her virginity.

Now she's desperate to get it back.

(Formerly known as Rarity Loses Her Virginity in a Poker Game. The author's artistic integrity was long gone by the time of writing this.)

Special thanks to Blue_Paladin42.

Twilight's just received her official government escort license, which allows her to legally take on passengers during a teleport. Unfortunately, the fee was hideously expensive -- enough to completely wipe out all her spare bits. And there's a major purchase coming up which she refuses to put off. So what better way to raise the money than by giving her freshly-approved skill a workout? After all, it's winter, it's cold, ponies will get home all the faster, and since Twilight knows what 'escort' means, so will everypony else.

It's probably best not to bet on that last part.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group -- but can be read as a stand-alone, and no knowledge of the other stories is required. New members and trope edits are welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Current cover art by Harwick: please contact him for commission rates. Original cover art by EquesTRON.

Due to her reckless antics and tomboyish behavior, Rainbow Dash has generally been thought of as one that had no real interest in the matters of love and dating. However, she gets challenged by Spike one day when he tells his friends that he would never be able to fall in love with her. Given Rainbow's competitive nature, a new challenge between the two of them begins.

She tries to steal Spike's heart and if he falls in love, he loses!

Between awkward dates, friendly interference, a jealous Rarity, an over-protective Twilight and a betting pool stretching all across Equestria, who knows what ending awaits them!

When Rainbow Dash wakes up to find herself sharing a bed with somepony—or rather, somedragon—she knows she's going to have an eventful day. Determined to put the whole ordeal behind her, she agrees with Spike to forget the evening had ever happened.

However, things have a way of coming back to haunt you, and for Rainbow Dash, it may not be what she asked for at all.

Group collaboration between the lovely members of SpikeDash:

Yours truly,
Vexy,
FierceRainbow,
Rainbow87dash,
Garbo.

On her way home, Apple Bloom discovers Spike rifling through Rarity's belongings. Heading in to confront the dragon, they accidentally knock over a priceless vase! Will they be able to cover it up or will suspicion tear the town apart?

Tired of Luna's constant nagging, Celestia agrees to give internet dating a try. Using the website www.notforeveralone.com, Luna helps Celestia go on dates with potential immortal suitors. Shouldn't be too hard to find true love, right?

You can make a suggestion for any immortal across any manner of genre or fiction for Celestia to date next. Just make sure they're immortal for it to work.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Guest chapters for immortals I have not covered are welcome, since I won't be able to write about every suggestion someone has. Note that all guest chapters are non-canon from the main story, so there is a bit of leeway to them. Talk to me over PM's for any further discussion.

Thanks to my editors The Ponytrician and Garnot for all their help!

Cover art from the hilarious tumblr you all should check out, ~Letters For Celestia~

Did the ponies really forgive Discord, or had they just said so?

Of course they did, but Discord has his doubts. How could they forgive him like that, after all of the awful things he did to them? To find answers, Discord seeks out one that he'd rather not seek out: Twilight Sparkle.