• Member Since 10th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 28th, 2020

ashiida


I'm here to read. I draw sometimes. Also all of my fics are from when I was 14 so spare yourself and don't read them pls

E
Source

Did the ponies really forgive Discord, or had they just said so?

Of course they did, but Discord has his doubts. How could they forgive him like that, after all of the awful things he did to them? To find answers, Discord seeks out one that he'd rather not seek out: Twilight Sparkle.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 57 )
Comment posted by Bronzedragon deleted May 18th, 2014
Comment posted by ashiida deleted May 18th, 2014

What the hay. You don't like the fact that I pointed out a few spots where I thought you might have made an error or two and you delete the whole comment and your reply? Your choice!

Hey, nice to see you here--and glad to see you're branching out with your first fic! I'll keep an eye out for more.

People do get kinda cranky when you delete comments. It becomes a whole thing. I don't spend a lot of time on Tumblr, so I don't know how that works. Best just to leave 'em, if you can. (I didn't see them, so I don't know what they were.)

Anyway, I'm glad you're doing a friendshipping fic, too! That's really one of Discord's big issues right now, so it'll be interesting to see how you handle it!

4411329 imsosorry i'm new to how this all works ;n;

4411550 Hehe, I noticed ^^;;

And thanks! It means a lot to me to hear that from you.

i am eagerly looking forward to finding out where this is going

I love it so far!
Please continue it! :twilightsmile:

You have no idea how much I want this to continue.

Like, so much.

:pinkiehappy:

Looks good so far.

4411582

Don't delete comments unless they really, really deserve it. It is very rude.

Also your story has caught my attention, it's still too early for me to judge how good it is but so far it's promising. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

CAN I HAZ MOAR
MOAR CAN I HAZ
plz :pinkiecrazy:

An interesting story idea you have thought of. I'll be favouriting this to track its update Overall this is looking promising. well done!

-frost :pinkiesmile:

“Believe me, I have all the time in the world.”

Oh Discord, you sneaky.

4415267 I'll be sure to remember that next time, and thank you!

Discord looking to understand forgiveness. I'll keep an eye on this.

not a bad start it has my curiosity perked ^_^
hope to see the next one soon :3

4411582 If it's constructive criticism, or saying that they dont like it, then you could keep the comment. But if they say something like "This story is complete BULLSHIT!" or "Go fuck yourself", then it's okay to delete it, especially if they don't say why it's so bad.:ajsmug: Just a few pointers since your new.

But, ask for how I feel about this... Wow great job. This is your first story? It's better than my first story. I really want to see how this goes! (Like, REALLY!) You did a good job at catching my interest, and that's exactly what you're SUPPOSED to do in a prologue! I can't tell ya how many times people have written prologues with everything being fine (Grammar, Spelling, Etc.) except for the fact that it was boring and didn't catch my attention. Good job! BRO HOOF /)!

4419250 Thank you so much. It means a lot to me to hear someone say something so nice. ;u;

4419250 I concur, Huzzah for the new author and his differing outlook, I never really thought about the fact of where Discord actually lives so that's something new to me. Keep up the good work!

I've avoided reading stories that deal with events directly after the end of Season Four, because I think it's too soon for world-shaping. But this is a concept I readily accepted, because it is only logical that Discord would feel some guilt over his actions. Looking forward to see where you're taking us!

“Spike! Spiiiike?” Twilight called, looking left and right for her dragon assistant. She was afraid he’d gotten lost in the castle again, like he’d done nearly fifty times in the past three days! She’d limited his exploring to the main hallway, kitchen, bedroom, and throne room. Anywhere else would need adult company.

You know, I've got a bone to pick with this. Why the hell does half of fimfiction's author community think writing Spike off as a child about as mature as (or less than) the Cutie Mark Crusaders is a good idea, when in show canon, he's been firmly rooted in the mid-to-late teenager mental age? He's been shown to be well able to take care of himself and others with about the same level of bumbling as the older adult ponies, sometimes even less so. And I'm including the mane six in this.

4425260 Though mental wise he's older, he's still a baby dragon. He broke down at the Equestria Games. I'm not a baby, and if I got lost in a big castle I'd be scared too.

4426328 It doesn't matter that he's a baby dragon. He's exactly as functional as any non-foal pony and sometimes even more competent than them. THAT is what matters.
And that's not the real point: the point is that he's been shown not to need an "adult" to hold his hand like you're implying.

I'm not saying this to be acidic, just so you get it clearly. I'm just trying to address an incredibly common plothole that may or may not turn into a reader-alienating pitfall, since it's your first fic and all.

>not shipping
Well, you didn't put in a Romance tag, so I certainly hope nobody's expecting shipping.

It's promising for an introduction. Honestly, it sounds like a one-shot story concept, but that's just my OCD nit-picking.
4426346
Did you have slightly overbearing parents when you were a teen? (your comments lead me to believe otherwise)

4428055 More like I'm pretty hard on myself (according to my shrink), and as a 23-year-old with a full-time job for over 4 years, I take one helluva lot of pride in someone that has independence and maturity. Seeing it negated like this ticks me off like a clock.

Comment posted by BlazingDragoonLord deleted May 22nd, 2014

Oh dear. Discord is trying to get a better understanding of Friendship from Twilight in her living room and Fluttershy goes into the Everfree Forest to look for him.
This won't end well.

Yay anouther chapter! Can't wait for more!

Fluttershy worried over things very easily. There was this one time that Spike had gotten a small splinter in his claw, and Fluttershy had been absolutely drastic. Spike had insisted that he was fine, but Fluttershy kept asking him question after question about if it hurt, even after she had removed it.

Well, I might be a little worried too if a splinter impaled him with so much force that it made it past the scales Rarity has used as a literal pincushion.

4435972 I never said it was impaled into his skin. It was probably just stuck in one like one of the pins. But that remark made me laugh XD

This is great! I could see this as an episode of the show. I love it! I love serious Discord, and I think you're portraying him quite well. Your writing is also pretty impressive, and I look forward to the next part! Ooh, is Fluttershy gonna need help?!?

Very nice, I thought about this happening a lot after the finale, so thx. :heart:

I have been saving this story for after I watch the episode. And I have, so I will comment. Discords problem in this story is very well done, in my opinion. Just the kind of problem I imagined he would have. And uh-oh, Fluttershy is in trouble.:pinkiegasp:

What I´ve read so far is pretty good I must say. The writing style is simple and easy to follow, really different from what I tend to read but changing from time to time is refreshing. The idea is quite interesting and I hope to read soon it´s development. I haven´t really seen any big mistake; simply one part in which you started using the present instead of the past but that´s not a big deal. Well done!

4551867 I'm currently working on the next chapter.

He will go into the forest to save his princess!

Yay for updates!!! im liking this so far, cant wait to read more!

Terrible? I disagree! Sure, you had a typo there and again, but if I had a dollar for every time I did that, I wouldn't need to go to college! I thought it was spectacular, and I think you've got all the characters down pretty well. Especially Frustrated Twilight, haha! But this chapter was so full of tension, I don't want to wait very long for the next chapter!! I want to see Discord save Fluttershy!!! Of course, I'll be fine waiting, I'm just really excited for the next one!!! :raritywink:

Quick thing, zecoras talk is fine to me except the last part

It doesn't rhyme no matter how many time's I say it In my head even if I purposely try to say it wrong or pronounce it differently

I've encountered one of these only once, and fixed the problem by putting it into a trance

Sorry for nitpicking

Overall I still love the story

I love the story. If Discord needs a reason other than forgiveness why doesn't Twilight point out that he basicallyspoon fed her the rainbow powers that allowed her to defeat Tirek, so the princesses are basically calling it a wash. Do the bats that deliver Fluttershy's letters to Discord magically know where everyone is like Harry Potter owls, or do they just fly the letters over to Spike?

I really love the Leucrotta, I wonder why you're calling it a Krokotta instead. Copyright issues?

4563875 I was debating on what to call it, but now that I google Krokattas, all that pops up is images of hyenas. I think I'll switch it now. Note to self: never trust a wiki ^^;;

Discord to the rescue...after it captures Twilight.:twilightoops:

Typo error: Paragraph 4: "they've done if they apologize"

Alright, this is getting interesting. Not that it wasn´t before, but now the fanfic is adopting some "adventure" features. That new creature has potential to become a great villain. My recommendation is that you take more time to write and correctly develop the plot. It just feels too rushed! So, anyway, you are doing a pretty decent job, and you have captivated my entire attention for the chapters yet to come :twilightsmile:

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