This story is a sequel to Discord's Assistant

Discord is sick of his human assistant. Too crazy. Even for him, but hey, not his problem any more. Princess Celestia might have a way to deal with him. He's not going to terrorize everypony....right?

"This is the PERFECT THING to read at midnight!" -Dream Seeker
"WHAT ARE YOU ON AND CAN I GET SOME." -Disconcerted
"This has to be the greatest thing I've ever read." -Azurus

A lot of people demanded a sequel, so here it is! I want to thank everyone who helped me. Without you guys I doubt I could have done it.

Proofreading done by SteelxPaladin

Tired of Luna's constant nagging, Celestia agrees to give internet dating a try. Using the website www.notforeveralone.com, Luna helps Celestia go on dates with potential immortal suitors. Shouldn't be too hard to find true love, right?

You can make a suggestion for any immortal across any manner of genre or fiction for Celestia to date next. Just make sure they're immortal for it to work.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Guest chapters for immortals I have not covered are welcome, since I won't be able to write about every suggestion someone has. Note that all guest chapters are non-canon from the main story, so there is a bit of leeway to them. Talk to me over PM's for any further discussion.

Thanks to my editors The Ponytrician and Garnot for all their help!

Cover art from the hilarious tumblr you all should check out, ~Letters For Celestia~

While teaching Spike math one afternoon, Twilight comes up with a solution of 'sixty-nine'. Spike can't stop laughing enough to tell her what's so funny, so she's going to find out.

Oh, she will find out.

Edited by Syeekoh

Preread by RainbowRick, thanks to both of you!

This was originally meant to be my sixty-nine follower special, but other stuff came up and...yeah. I eventually got around to it. Enjoy!

Blank Slate is the greatest thief of his generation. He has robbed countless nigh-impossible marks, and his talents as a master of disguise are beyond par - truly, nopony knows who he is.

And now he's preparing the greatest heist in mortal memory: the treasure vaults of the Princesses themselves.

But you have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past the pony who defines when ‘early in the morning’ is…

Spoilers in the comments! Beware! Beware...

Audio Reading available - thank you ABagOVicodin
Czech Translation available - Thank you Keranis

I'm in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of orifices I didn't know I had. Why am I there? Why is Rainbow Dash sitting in the corner?

Why is she crying?

Pinkie Pie challenges her friends to play a game in which they take turns being evil, with the rest of the players tasked to thwart the evil schemes. The stakes are high, and all of Ponyville is caught in the middle...

Vinyl and Octavia, despite living together, have never been seen at the same time. Is there a reasonable explanation for this? Or, could there be a deceptive reason?

Thanks to TheArtrix for the cover art.

Inspired by the comic "The same pony" by "TheMaiah"

"Popular Stories" tab. Feature boxed for seven days!
Randomreader-001 (webshoter) did a fanfic reading of this. You can listen to is here.

The good news: Twilight now has a narrator for her life.

The bad news: He's an asshole.

Just a silly little oneshot crackfic I wrote while feeling inspired. Not to be taken too seriously.

Enjoy a dramatic reading by LimeyPony!

Princess Luna, alicorn of the night and all things therein, sends happy dreams to her saviors on the anniversary of her return from the darkness of madness. One of these dreams belongs to Twilight Sparkle and once again Luna sends her visions of the pony she loves most, Princess Celestia.

Now if only they would come out and say something to each other about it. All the sexual tension in the castle is driving Luna nuts!

It looks like she's going to have to take things into her own hands.

One fateful day, Discord felt a disturbance in the balance of things. Not just him, but Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich, too. They all know what happened.

Laughter had experienced a loss.

This is for the loss that has been endured on 8/11/14, of a comedy icon that never failed to try and make everyone smile. O Captain, our Captain.