//------------------------------//
// Maniacal Laughter (Part I) 
// Story: Let's Be Evil! 
// by MythrilMoth 
//------------------------------//

"Okay, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said. "You lost. So, me, Pinkie, or Fluttershy...who goes next?"

Dash sat on the ground, stroking her chin with one hoof thoughtfully...

"Eh, let Pinkie Pie go next," Dash said dismissively.

"YAY!" Pinkie cheered, bouncing in place and laughing. "EVIL PARTY!"

"Pinkie Pie! The rules?"

"Oh. Yeah. Right." Pinkie stopped bouncing. An evil grin spread across her face. "So, evil plan time...I'll think about it while I have my tenth chocolate cake of the day. Bye!"


* * * * *


It was nearly midnight. The Crusaders, wearing heavy protective suits, stood over a bubbling cauldron in the clubhouse. "How much longer?" Scootaloo hissed.

"Almost done..." Applebloom said. "But it needs to simmer for a full day."

Scootaloo groaned. "This is so lame!"

"It'll give us time to work out the next phase," Sweetie Belle said.

"Which is?" Scootaloo asked.

In response, Apple Bloom spread a schematic diagram out on the floor.

The other two Crusaders stared at it, and their jaws dropped. "Ooooooooooooh."

Apple Bloom grinned. "Tomorrow night, we strike. Ponyville will never know what hit it."

The three fillies high-hoofed. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS EVIL MASTERMINDS, YAY!"


* * * * *


In the tallest spire of Canterlot Castle, shortly after the sun rose over Equestria, Princess Celestia sat, daintily sipping her morning tea.

A servant entered, placed a covered silver platter before her, bowed, and exited.

Celestia used her magic to remove the shining silver cover from the platter, eagerly anticipating whatever exquisite breakfast the palace chef had prepared for her this day...

Pinkie Pie erupted from the platter. "Hi~iii!" the pink mare cheered.

Celestia blinked. "Er...yes, well...good morning, Pinkie Pie. What...can I do for you?"

"Oh, I'm just here to marenap you and plunge Equestria into complete chaos," Pinkie said conversationally. "Oh, and here's your breakfast. Mmm, hay bacon strips."

The ruler of Equestria blinked audibly at her most bizarre subject. "Err...should I be concerned about you, my little pony? I wonder if perhaps I should write a letter to Twilight Sparkle and ask if you're on any...medication..."

Pinkie laughed. "Oh, silly! I don't need medicine! I'm the healthiest healthy horse in the whole wide world!" She produced a blood pressure cuff from somewhere and took her blood pressure. "See?"

"Um...that's nice, but it's not what I meant..."

"Ohhhh, you think I'm missing a few screws?" Pinkie asked dismissively. "Nah, it's not like that. I'm perfectly okie-dokie-lokie!"

"Except that you just appeared in my private breakfast nook and threatened to marenap me," Celestia pointed out.

"Oh, it's not for REAL!" Pinkie said. "It's just a game!"

Celestia blinked again. "A...game?"

"Yeah, you see, it's like this..." Pinkie suddenly whipped her head around as though worried somepony was watching them. (Which Celestia found odd; shouldn't there be a guard or two nearby...?) When Pinkie was convinced they were alone, she leaned in and whispered quietly to the Princess.

Celestia's ears pricked up. Her eyes widened.

Her lip quirked. A laugh threatened to escape her.

"Oh! I see. Very well then." She cleared her throat and placed a forehoof dramatically to her forehead. "Oh, whatever shall I do? I have been marenapped by a diabolical madmare! This is surely the end of Equestria as we know it!"

Pinkie whipped a thick fake handlebar mustache from wherever Pinkie whips stuff and stuck it under her nose. "Mwah ha ha."


* * * * *


Rarity and Twilight were eating lunch together. It seemed a peaceful day. Birds were singing, there were few clouds in the sky, young colts and fillies were laughing and playing in the streets, Spike was napping in the library...and yet Twilight couldn't help but feel that something was out of place.

"I say," Rarity remarked as she daintly wiped her mouth, "isn't it about half past noon?"

Twilight frowned. "That sounds about right."

Rarity looked up at the sky. "Then isn't the sun...sort of in the wrong place?"

Twilight glanced up and gasped. "Oh my gosh! You're right, Rarity!"

Applejack trotted up. "Hey Rarity, hey Twilight. Y'all reckon somethin's up with th' sun? I been buckin' apples all mornin' an' it's still mornin'!"

"Yes, we were just discussing that," Rarity said. "It certainly is strange."

"I should write to Princess Celestia," Twilight said, setting down her oatburger. "Though I'm sure there's nothing to worry about—"

The mares' attention was caught by the sound of thundering hooves growing closer. "TWILEY!" a stallion's voice shouted.

Twilight whirled around. "Shining Armor?" she asked.

Shining Armor skidded to a halt near their table, flanked by two of Canterlot's pegasus guards. "Twiley, I need your help!" Shining Armor said. His eyes were wide and his voice was as alarmed as Twilight could ever remember.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked. "Does it have something to do with the sun? I was just about to write the Princess a letter—"

"Princess Celestia has disappeared!" Armor blurted.

"WHAT?!" Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack gasped.

"No...it can't be..." Twilight said shakily, a quivering hoof raised before her and her lip trembling. "Princess Celestia couldn't be—"

Another pegasus guard suddenly appeared, winded, behind Shining Armor. "Sir!" he wheezed. "We've just investigated the Princess' private breakfast nook. Her breakfast tray was still there...there was a note..." He hoofed over a note to the guard captain, who examined it, eyes wide.

"Oh no..." Shining Armor said softly.

"May I see that?" Twilight asked. Nodding shakily, Shining Armor passed it over. Twilight examined it, eyes growing wider with each line:



I HAVE MARENAPPED YOUR PRINCESS.
THE SUN WILL BE STUCK FOREVER.
I RULE, YOU DROOL. HAHA.



There was no signature.

Applejack gasped. "Th' Princess, marenapped? Whoa nelly..."

"This...this is simply dreadful..."

"Rarity, clashing accessories are dreadful, this is a full-blown catastrophe!" Twilight said. "Do you have any suspects, any clues?"

Armor shook his head. "We've crossed off all the likely suspects. Princess Luna wouldn't do this. Discord is in Nippony. Chrysalis hasn't been heard from since the wedding. We even considered Donkey Xote as a suspect, but...it just isn't likely. We're stumped."

Twilight frowned. "Do you mind if I examine this letter? I might be able to figure out who took the Princess."

Shining Armor nodded. "I know Princess Celestia trusts you more than anypony else in Equestria, Twiley," he said. "If anypony can find her, it's you."

Twilight smiled. "Go back to Canterlot, big brother. With the Princess missing, you're needed there more now than ever."

All around the Royal Guards, ponies began whispering amongst themselves anxiously. As Shining Armor and the pegasi turned to leave, Twilight and her friends headed for the library.

In all the commotion, nopony noticed the Cutie Mark Crusaders hauling a large wagon loaded with miscellaneous junk in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.


* * * * *


"I don't understand," Twilight said. "Who could have taken the Princess? How could this have happened so easily?"

"Get a hold of yourself, Twilight," Rarity said. "Let's examine the letter the villainous cur left, and perhaps we will discover who is behind this nefarious scheme."

Twilight took a deep breath. "Right. So—"

"Hey, what smells like cake frosting?" Spike interrupted as he ambled downstairs.

"Spike, this is no time to think about baked goods!" Twilight said. "Princess Celestia has been marenapped!"

Spike gasped. "No way!"

"Read it fer yerself," Applejack said, gesturing with a hoof to the letter lying on the table. 

Spike padded over and peered down at it. His eyes widened. "Ooooh, THAT'S where the cake frosting smell is coming from!" he said.

Twilight blinked. "Huh?"

"Look, the letter," Spike said. "It smells like...hang on..." Spike took an experimental lick of one of the letters on the page. His eyes brightened. "No wonder! This letter was written with cake frosting!"

"Cake frosting?" the others echoed.

The three mares stared at one another, eyes wide.

"Hoooooly horseapples," Applejack breathed.


* * * * *


"So why did you bring me here, Pinkie Pie?" Celestia asked, taking in her surroundings.

Pinkie giggled. "Because nopony would ever ever ever EVER expect to find me on a rock farm! Or you! Or me keeping you!"

"Pinkamena? Is that you?" a stallion's voice called.

"Oh! I was wondering if anypony was home!" Pinkie said brightly.

Celestia blinked. "Surely you don't mean to say this is—"

"The farm I was foaled and raised on!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "The Pie family's been farming rocks for four generations!" She waved a hoof to the orange stallion cantering up to them. "Hi, Papa!"

"Welcome home, Pinkamena dear," Mr. Pie said. "I can't say I was expectin' a visit..." His eyes widened as he realized who stood beside his daughter. "By all that's...you're Princess Celestia!" He lowered himself into a bow, trembling.

Celestia smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Pie," she said softly. "Please, rise."

Standing up, Mr. Pie began fiddling nervously with his hat. "Oh, you can just call me Clyde, Your Highness."

"Very well, Clyde. Please pardon our sudden intrusion."

"Not at all, not at all...you're very welcome here, of course."

"Say Papa, where's everypony else?" Pinkie asked. "I wanted Princess Celestia to meet the whole family while she's here."

"Oh, well...your ma's up in Baltimare, helpin' out your Auntie Pot. Poor ol' Pot went and broke both her hind legs." Clyde shook his head. "She'll never be the same."

"Oooh, that's awful," Pinkie said.

"Inkamena went to market, and Blinkamena's fixin' th' barn roof," Clyde continued. "I reckon y'all might as well get on in th' house, set a spell."

"Your hospitality is greatly appreciated," Celestia said with a smile.

As the three ponies trotted toward the house, Clyde asked, "So, Pinkamena, what brings you back to th' family farm?"

"Oh, I'm just, uh...playing hooky from work," Pinkie said.

Clyde fixed a stern, disapproving gaze on her. "Now, little missy, you know we Pies don't cotton to that kind of foolishness."

Celestia coughed delicately. "I'm playing hooky too, actually," she said.

"Oh." Clyde blanched. "Uh. Well. Uh. Okay."


* * * * *


Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had joined the others at the library. Twilight was pacing around the main room, her voice rising to a high-pitched, almost unintelligible squeak as she ranted.

"How could she? Why did she? What was she thinking? How did she? How could Pinkie..."

"We get it, Twilight, sheesh! Settle down," Dash snapped.

"Was...was this whole game just a clever ploy to arrange a coup?" Spike wondered. "Has Pinkie Pie been planning to take over Equestria all this time?"

"Oh, Spike, don't be an idjit," Applejack said. "Pinkie Pie, evil for real? That's fuller'a holes than a wormy apple."

"But HOW did she pull this off?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I mean, it doesn't make SENSE!"

"Nothing about Pinkie Pie makes sense," Spike said with a shrug.

"We need to talk to the Cakes," Twilight decided. "Maybe they know something."


* * * * *


"We don't have a clue where Pinkie went," Cup Cake said. "She just said she needed a few days off to take care of some things out of town, then she left."

"She didn't say anything at all about where she was going?"

"Nope, sorry."

Twilight sighed. "Thanks anyway."

"Is Pinkie in some kind of trouble?" Carrot Cake asked.

"We don't know yet," Applejack said. "But we gotta find that filly fast, afore things start hittin th' fan."

"Applejack!" Rainbow Dash hissed. To the Cakes, she said, "AJ's just, um...worried about um...uh..."

"Apple Bloom's birthday party!" Rarity offered quickly. "Yes, dear little Apple Bloom's birthday party. We can't very well have a birthday party in Ponyville without Pinkie Pie, now, can we?"

The Cakes seemed to relax slightly. "Well, I hope you find her before it's too late," Cup said.

"So do I," Twilight said quietly. "Come on, girls, we've got a lot of ground to cover."


* * * * *


"Pa, I got th' roof fixed," a mare's voice called from outside. "Inkie back from th' market yet? I could sure use—PINKIE! Glory be, when'd you get here?"

"Hi, Sis!" Pinkie greeted the mare who had just walked in. She had a red coat, a blunt snout, and a razor-straight white mane. "How's it go—" Pinkie abruptly gasped loudly. "BLINKIE! What happened?! You're RED!"

Blinkie stared at her sister in confusion. "Huh? I've always been red."

"But...but...I remember you being blue! And your mane wasn't white! What..."

Blinkie stared at her sister uncomprehendingly for a moment...then her eyes narrowed. "Uhh...Pinkie? I was movin' them crumbly blue rocks around th' day you left. I wasn't blue, I was dirty."

"Oooooh," Pinkie said, eyes wide.

Celestia tilted her head. "You really don't remember what your own sister looks like?" she asked Pinkie.

"Weeeeeelllll, it HAS been a long time," Pinkie said sheepishly.

Blinkie finally noticed Celestia, and gasped. "Oh my goodness...Princess Celestia..."

"It's very nice to meet you," Celestia said, smiling. "Blinkie, was it?"

"Blinkamena Darlene Pie, Your Highness," Blinkie said, bowing. "What brings you to our humble little rock farm?"

"Pinkie brings me here," Celestia said. "I'm sort of...taking a little vacation, you might say."

Blinkie...well, blinked. "On a ROCK FARM?" she asked.

"Nopony would ever expect to find a princess on a rock farm," Pinkie pointed out.

"Well...I reckon there's some truth to that."


* * * * *


Scootaloo frowned at the bizarre apparatus Apple Bloom was busily constructing. "Uhh...you SURE this thing's gonna...?"

"Yep," Apple Bloom replied confidently. "Just wait. It'll really amaze you!"

"It'll amaze me if this thing doesn't kill us," Scootaloo muttered.

Sweetie was staring out the window. "Um...is anypony else bothered by the fact that it's still early morning outside, even though it's almost suppertime?"

The other two looked at her. "Huh?"

"I hadn't noticed," Apple Bloom said. "But now that you mention it, the sun does seem to be at the wrong angle..."


* * * * *


"Alright," Twilight said as she and her friends gathered near Fluttershy's cottage. "She isn't anywhere in Ponyville as far as we can tell, nopony's seen her all day, and it doesn't look like she went into the Everfree."

"Could she still be in Canterlot?" Fluttershy asked.

"I don't think so," Twilight said. "They'd have found her by now if she was."

"There's an awful lotta places out there besides Ponyville an' Canterlot, y'all," Applejack said, pulling the brim of her hat down over her eyes. "Ah reckon it'd take near ta a month t'search all of Equestria."

"And we have no idea where to start," Rarity added. "This...this isn't looking good."

"Yeah, Pinkie Pie may actually beat us," Rainbow Dash said. At Twilight's intense glare, she gulped and added, "Uh, and then there's the whole the sun is frozen in the sky and hundreds of ponies are gonna panic thing."

Twilight sighed. "I need to go to Canterlot and report to Shining Armor and Princess Luna. Luna will have to take over the Sun until we find Celestia so nopony will know anything's wrong. The rest of you, come up with a search plan. We've got to find Pinkie Pie and the Princess. FAST."


* * * * *


As the day wore on, Celestia met Pinkie's other sister, Inkamena Danielle Pie, and enjoyed a hearty, down-home supper with the Pie family, listening contentedly as Pinkie caught up with her father and sisters.

"I must admit I've been curious about one thing ever since we arrived here," Celestia said to Pinkie during a lull in the conversation.

"Hm? What's that?"

"Forgive me, but...why does your family farm rocks?"

Pinkie giggled. "Silly...rocks can't farm themselves, so somepony has to do it!"

Celestia found she had no response to that.


* * * * *


Twilight Sparkle found herself in the unenviable position of being the one to tell Princess Luna that her sister was missing. The entire Royal Guard, her brother included, were too terrified of Luna's wrath to break the news to her. She wisely refrained from telling Luna the truth about what was going on—if the Princess of the Night knew that Pinkie Pie had somehow abducted the most powerful pony in Equestria as part of a game, it most certainly would not end well for her playful friend.

"This is most distressing, Twilight Sparkle," Luna said, her eyes full of worry.

"I'm sorry, Princess," Twilight said, bowing her head.

"And you say you have no idea where my sister might be?"

"No, not yet. I was hoping maybe you would—"

Luna shook her head. "I cannot detect her. I am uncertain as to why." She sighed. "I will see to the rising and setting of the sun until Celestia is found. I have faith in you, that you will find my sister before something dire occurs."

Twilight bowed. "I will not fail you, Princess."


* * * * *


Celestia bunked with Pinkie Pie in her old childhood bedroom. As they settled down on a bed of cotton and straw, Celestia said, "I wonder why Twilight Sparkle and the others haven't shown up here looking for us yet. You'd think your childhood home would be one of the first places they'd look.

Pinkie gasped. "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! I totally never told my friends about me growing up on a rock farm!"

Celetia blinked. "Come again?"

"Ooohh...the only ponies in Ponyville who know about me growing up here are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

Celestia's eye twitched. "Well...then it's a good thing your family is so warm and accomodating. It seems I might be staying for a while."

Pinkie rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Oops?"


* * * * *


At the stroke of midnight, an impossible machine ghosted over the sleepy town of Ponyville. It resembled several wooden crates combined with a large wooden wagon, with an intricate network of gears and belts and pins and springs and things snaking in and out of it. Two large, somewhat unwieldy wings made of old plows stuck out of its sides, flapping lightly in the night air, while a propeller made from a sawed-down old windmill turned on its front end. Inside, three fillies ran on a treadmill. Apple Bloom, at the front of the makeshift cockpit, was using a yoke chained to a bit to steer the monstrosity with her mouth.

"I can't believe...this thing...actually flies!" Scootaloo panted.

"Couldn't...you have found...a better way...to keep it in the air?" Sweetie Belle wheezed.

"Sorry...girls...this was th' best Ah could do on such short notice!" Apple Bloom replied. "Y'all git ready, y'all're gonna hafta pull on them release levers in about...NOW!"

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle chomped down on some large, slightly rusty metal levers, and cranked them with all the strength their young jaw and neck muscles could muster. With groans of protest, the cranks turned, and several panels on the bottom of the flying machine opened. A fine mist spread out over the town below; Apple Bloom began to fly the machine in a spiral pattern.

Within twenty minutes, all of Ponyville had been sprayed.

"Okay, now we gotta land this thing in th' Everfree an' destroy it!" Apple Bloom said. "Hold on, girls, this is gonna be a rough landin'..."

*****TO BE CONTINUED*****