//------------------------------// // Black Magic Pony // Story: Let's Be Evil! // by MythrilMoth //------------------------------// Twilight examined her checklist of evil and began chewing on her bottom lip. "It all sounds good on paper, but...I don't know if I can pull this off..." "Oh, I can help you pull off whatever you need," a voice said from behind her. "Or maybe I'm just pulling your leg..." Twilight's left hind leg suddenly popped off and began dancing around the room on its own. Staggering to keep herself upright, she closed her eyes and hissed slowly. "Put that back right now, Discord," she snapped. Her leg reattached itself, and she whirled to face the draconequus who floated in midair. "Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry, Twilight Sparkle," the living essence of Chaos said. "I simply couldn't resist such a perfect set-up..." "WHY are you here?" Twilight asked. Discord recoiled. "I'm simply stopping by to borrow a book," he said, plucking a book off a high shelf. "I'll be out of your mane in two shakes." As though a switch had flicked on in Twilight's brain, she made a rare impulsive decision. A slow smile crossed her face. "Actually...I need to borrow something too." Discord blinked. Before he knew what was happening, Twilight Sparkle had suddenly launched herself at him, goring him with her horn. His eyes widened as his body spasmed. "What...are you doing?!" he asked. The color drained from Discord's snaggly, mismatched face as he sank to the ground, shivering. "I...I can't...move..." Twilight's eyes shone with an unholy light, and she grinned. "Oh yes...that's exactly what I needed." She disappeared in a burst of light. * * * * * Twilight Sparkle appeared upside-down in midair above Fluttershy's bed. Her eyes cast a blood-red glow upon the sleeping pegasus. "Sorry about this, Fluttershy," she whispered, "but I need a diversion while I set my evil plans into motion." Her horn glowed brightly, and a warbling pinkish-red burst of heart-shaped magic dripped from her horn like viscous ooze, engulfing Fluttershy and sinking into her very skin. Satisfied, Twilight vanished. * * * * * Twilight appeared at the gates of Tartarus. Rubbing her hooves together, she opened the massive, magically-sealed wrought-iron gates. The beasts of hell gathered at the gates, pushing, shoving, and struggling to be the first to emerge into Equestria, but Twilight effortlessly held them at bay. "Now now," she said. "I only need..." she pushed Cerberus and Medusa to the side, and made a come-hither gesture at the creatures visible behind them. "You guys. Come on out. The rest of you suck." She laughed at her own little joke. The gates of Tartarus slammed shut and locked again, and Twilight Sparkle returned to Ponyville, trailed by several inky, shadowy creatures with bulbous black eyes and rows of long, slender spines stretching from the tops of their heads to the bases of their backs. They walked on two legs and had thick claws on each toe. They made low, strange chittering and clicking noises as their heads swung to and fro. "Try not to let anypony see you," she ordered the creatures in a quiet voice. "And don't kill anypony. If you do, you'll answer to me." As if to make her point, she aimed a blast of magic at a nearby tree. It melted into a pile of charred, smoldering slag. "Got it?" Her new minions nodded vigorously, chittering wildly. "Good," Twilight said, vanishing. The creatures conferred amongst themselves before melting into the darkness. * * * * * At sunrise, four mares met up in Fluttershy's garden. The night before, Twilight's friends had agreed to meet at the pegasus' cottage to discuss contingency plans, because they knew that if Twilight came up with a legitimate evil plan, defeating her would take all of their skill, cunning, and talent. Fluttershy's door opened and Angel peeked out. Twitching his ears, he gestured for the others to enter. "Good morning, Fluttershy dah-ling!" Rarity called out as the four ponies filed into the cottage. Exactly 76 seconds later, the early morning silence was split by four squeals of delight, and one panicked shriek of terror. Angel cocked his head and stared as Fluttershy bolted out of the cottage at full speed, followed by her friends. "Come back!" Rainbow Dash cried. "I just wanna love you!" "I want you!" Pinkie Pie yelled. "Ah NEED you!" Applejack called. "I REALLY like your mane!" Rarity declared. * * * * * Iron Will flexed in his mirror. "Another day to be the best I can be! Hoo! Hah! OH YEAH! Iron Will, you are one BAD hunk of minotaur!" He straightened his tie and walked out the door, adjusting his earpiece. "Mic check!" he called. There was no response. He frowned. "Iron Will said mic check!" When there was still no response, he removed his earpiece, examining it. "Is Iron Will's earpiece broken? Iron Will hopes not...Iron Will's warranty just ran out..." He heard a weak, faint bleating. Ambling out to the pens where his henchgoats lived, he discovered they were all lying in the grass, bleating sickly. Half of them were barely conscious. "What happened here?" Iron Will wondered. As he bent to examine one of his henchgoats, he found the goat's coat slick with blood, flowing from a deep puncture wound. The goat was very pale. Another of the goats bleated for attention, gesturing Iron Will over. The minotaur leaned down close to the goat, who whispered something before fainting. Iron Will blinked. "Chew puck what now?" Then he saw them, just outside the goat pen's barbed wire, leering at him, their bulbous black eyes shining in the early morning light. The long, narrow spines on their backs flexed up and down as they loped along the fence line with a disturbingly unnatural gait. Iron Will's horns drooped. "Oh." * * * * * Twilight hummed a happy little tune to herself as she weaved between the headstones at Ponyville's Wagon Wheel Cemetery. Trails of warbling pinkish-red magic spilled from her horn as she walked, soaking into the earthen graves of departed ponies. She giggled happily as she wove complex, intricate, disturbing evil magicks that would qualify her for a permanent stay at the Manehattan Asylum for Criminally Insane Ponies. "Oh, this is going to be FUN!" she squeed. * * * * * Fluttershy's heart pounded against her ribs as she ran for her life, her friends hot on her hooves. "What...what's happened to you girls?" she panted. "Why are you..." Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared right in front of her. With a smile, the pink party pony pulled out a very large, very inappropriate...er...toy, and ponysqueaked suggestively. Fluttershy screamed and shot straight into the air, flying harder than she had ever flown in her life. * * * * * Cranky Doodle Donkey whistled merrily to himself as he watered the petunias. Matilda was inside, baking a pumpkin pie. It had taken a while, but she had finally agreed to move in with him. They had even discussed marriage, though they lamented too much time had passed for them to have children. The scent of delicious baking pumpkin wafted through the kitchen window. "Mmm," he said as he trimmed the ligustrums next to the window. "That's the best-smellin' pie I've ever smelled." "Oh, I can't take all the credit," Matilda said. "I've been friends with Mulia Milds for a long time, I've picked up some pointers from her." "Is that so?" Doodle asked. "Well then, I—" Something leapt out from behind the ligustrum bush and attacked him. He barely had time to let out a terrified scream. His golden toupe flew into the air, catching in the bush he'd been tending. Matilda leaned out the window, saw him lying on the ground, and gasped. "Doodle? Oh my stars, Doodle!" * * * * * Fluttershy bolted through the door to the library and slammed it shut behind her. "TWILIGHT!" she cried. "Everypony's gone crazy! Help me!" There was a faint groan from the back of the central stacks. "Fluttershy?" That wasn't Twilight Sparkle's voice. Or Spike's. Fluttershy blinked. "Discord?" "Over...ngh...here..." Fluttershy found Discord lying on the floor at the back of the library, pale and weak. Behind her, the clamor of ponies at the library door grew in volume, and a loud THUD shook the mighty oak as the door shuddered in its frame. "Discord! You poor thing...what happened to you?" Discord looked up at her with bloodshot eyes. "Twilight Sparkle...stole my powers. So weak..." Fluttershy gasped. "She did WHAT?!" The library shook violently. The door splintered. Fluttershy cowered. "She's in there!" "She's mine!" "No, she's mine!" "I called dibs first!" "I'll pay a thousand bits to every pony who gets out of my way!" Fluttershy's ears flattened against the sides of her head. Discord raised an eyebrow. "My, it certainly...*cough* seems like everypony wants a piece of you..." Fluttershy's wings flared. "Wait a minute...I've seen this before..." A memory from several days earlier filtered into her mind: "Um. Hello? Threw the entire town into chaos with a Want It, Need It spell here?" Her eyes narrowed. "Oh you have GOT to be KIDDING ME!! Then the door exploded, and all she could think about was running for her life. * * * * * For the rest of the day, half of Ponyville was obsessed with getting their hooves on Fluttershy, and the other half was distracted by the increasing number of random chupacabra attacks and sightings. Everypony who was still conscious and/or sane tried to find Twilight Sparkle, to no avail. Those who were most likely to know what was actually going on were either running in fear for their lives and/or purity, or too obsession-crazed to care. As the sun set, a chill mist filled the streets of Ponyville. The mist seemed to remove the crazy from everypony chasing Fluttershy, as the Want-It Need-It Spell wore off on its own. Once she realized she was safe, she returned home, her friends joining her. "Ah'm right sorry about, uh...you know," Applejack said to Fluttershy. "Yeah, I don't know WHAT got into me," Rainbow Dash said. "Twilight Sparkle got into you. All of you," Fluttershy said. "Really? What, did she turn herself into a stallion?" Pinkie asked. Everypony stared at her. "What?" "ANYhoo," Rainbow Dash said loudly, "what's this about Twilight?" "She cast her Want-It Need-It spell on me to make everypony crazy," Fluttershy said, anger in her voice. "Whoa. That's mighty low," Applejack said. "But...it's over now, right? So that's her whole evil plan?" Pinkie asked. "Because that's kind of sad." "Ah don't think that's th' whole bushel o' apples," Applejack said. "No, the spell was definitely just a distraction," Fluttershy said. "Whatever she's doing, it's big. She drained Discord's powers." Silence for several seconds. "SHE WHAT?!" And then suddenly the five of them weren't in Fluttershy's cottage anymore. They found themselves standing in the middle of the large, open valley where they often had picnics. All of Ponyville was there with them, all just as confused at suddenly being somewhere they weren't just seconds ago. "What's goin' on?" Vinyl Scratch asked. "What're we all doing out here?" Lyra chimed in. The mist thickened. "Everypony stay calm," Rainbow Dash commanded. "We're not really sure what's happening, but..." A chorus of low, rattling moans filled the night. Shapes appeared in the mist, surrounding the crowd of ponies. Right in front of the five Element-bearers, Twilight Sparkle appeared. She had...changed. Her eyes were solid yellow and slitted, her face was almost skeletal. Her mane had been restyled, twisted into wavy, oiled curls. She wore a red leather jacket, as well as one sequin-spangled white horseshoe on her right front hoof. "I'm so glad everypony could make it," she said, her voice echoing with power. "I have a VERY special evening planned for all of Ponyville!" "What's your game, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash challenged, pawing the ground and snorting. "I'm so glad you asked, Rainbow Dash!" The shapes in the mist drew nearer, and several ponies screamed. The silvery moonlight shone upon the ashy, rotting faces of a veritable army of zombie ponies. The zombies lurched closer to the crowd, ending any hope of escape. Applejack recoiled. "Okay, this is just sick, Twi." Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. "You have GOT to be kidding me." Fluttershy fainted. "How do you like my zombie legions, everypony?" Twilight asked conversationally. "Now, let me explain the wonderful fun we're all about to have!" "Hey! Having our brains eaten by zombies doesn't sound like fun!" Pinkie protested. "My zombies aren't here to eat your brains," Twilight said, chuckling. "They're here to challenge you...to a DANCE BATTLE!!" Everypony blinked. "Say whut now?" Applejack asked. A sound system appeared in front of Vinyl Scratch. "The rules are simple," Twilight said. "Everypony in Ponyville dances. The zombies dance. Last pony or zombie standing wins." She gestured off to the side. "Anypony who tries to run away answers to my chupacabras." Indeed, there were chupacabras lurking in the mist, chittering eerily. "And now..." Bright, multicolored spotlights trained on the valley from nowhere, and the zombies move into formation behind Twilight. "DANCE!!" The sound system thudded to life, and Vinyl Scratch began nodding her head to the beat. The zombies began shuffling and thrashing in jerky, halting movements. We're gonna have a party tonight! All this zombie dancing is a ghoulish sight I'm feelin' evil and I just gotta say If I win, it all ends, you won't live to see the light of day! Let's be evil tonight! It's a zombie dance party, it's a super-scary sight! Let's be evil tonight! We're gonna dance for our lives, and it feels just right! It's time to throw it down! Gotta show these zombie clowns! What happens when you step into this pony groove We're too cool for mule! Ponies win and zombies drool! So let's get down on the floor, come on and move those hooves! Let's be evil tonight! It's spooky and scary but we're doin' alright! Let's be evil tonight! We're gonna dance for our lives, it's a zombie dance party tonight! I wish these zombies would just go away But they're dead so they don't understand a word I say! I want to fly away, I want to run and hide But my hooves keep moving on their own, the music is my guide! Let's be evil tonight! We're in a trance, so we'll dance until the morning light! Let's be evil tonight! We've gotta dance for our lives, it's a zombie dance party tonight! Yeah now you're in the groove! Yeah now you've got the moves! But can you kick it like my zombie crew? Come on and show your stuff! I just can't get enough! Now come on everypony see this through! Let's be evil tonight! Gimme more, on the floor, come on and win the fight! Let's be evil tonight! We're dancing for our lives, and it feels just right, come on and Let's be evil tonight! Don't give in, we can win, we gotta get this right, come on and Let's be evil tonight! We can dance We can prance And we can win the dance party tonight! * * * * * Dawn broke over a crowd of exhausted ponies lying sprawled out all over the valley. The zombie ponies were long gone, the chupacabras were nowhere to be seen, and Twilight was surrounded by her friends. "Um, you win," she said sheepishly. "Twilight...that was the downright craziest thing Ah ever did see," Applejack said. "You scared the plop out of all of Ponyville!" Rainbow Dash cried. "You hurt Discord!" Fluttershy said reproachfully. Twilight sighed. "Yeah yeah, I know. Don't worry. I'll give Discord back his powers, and nopony got hurt...much...so..." TWILIGHT SPARKLE. Twilight cringed, ears flattening. "Oh no."