Given a unique perspective on negative emotion, less than a foal's knowledge of ordinary magic, a healthy schadenfreude, and danger bearing down on all sides, the self-proclaimed "Weiss Noir" makes no plans accounting for his death, and plans to keep it that way, even after being torn away from earth, turned into a unicorn, and dumped into one of the most inhospitable locations and times in all of Equestria.

Stranded in the Frozen North, a place where biting cold ends lives, and one thousand years in the past, in a time when peril is the norm, rather than the exception, Weiss decides to indulge in sorcery most foul, stolen ideas, and human ingenuity to survive.

Given the choice between a mad slaver and a mad sage, however, there is no avoiding an inevitable tide of ponies escaping the conquered Crystal Empire to bask in the warmth of his well-stoked hate. Something which draws attention, enemies, and most worryingly, the rivalry of his "peers".

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Anon gets lost in a park during a short detour for some fresh air and ends up returning to the wrong civilization. One consisting of strange colorful creatures, who may or may not be aliens, robots in disguise or simply runaway products of a government black site biolab. It's hard to tell for sure, but hopefully they could help Anon find his way home... once he figures out how to ask.

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A/N: Been lurking since 2015 and finally decided to write a fic. Tags will be updated as necessary, don't want to spoil some of the plans. Cover image has been slightly edited to make Derpy's speech illegible.

Anon has been in Equestria for 5 years, working under Celestia as a Minister of Foreign Affairs. His tactics were seen as dishonest at best and unethical at worst. But when Celestia leaves suddenly, she names Anon as her temporary replacement to the throne. With internal bickering over whether Anon deserves this position and heightened tension with the Griffons, Anon must choose carefully. Will he become a tyrant or a fair king? And how far will he go to preserve Equestria?

A fully rewritten version of a greentext I wrote back in 2019. Could be a bit dated with tropes that I thought was good writing at the time, but I’m still proud of it.

For the Second Person tag you should note that sections from Anons POV are in first person, everyone else is in second person.

Romance tag is there because of a romance I included that I think was poorly handled, but half the story wouldn’t make sense if I just removed it so I had to keep it in.

Gore and Violence are self explanatory. It’s not there abundantly, but it is there.

Also don’t read the comments if you don’t want spoilers. Story discussion happens in them and that might ruin the reading experience.

Now on The Good HIE List!

Featured on 1/11/23! Thank you all.
Featured on 1/12/23. Thanks again.
Featured on 1/13/23! Three days in a row? Thanks guys.
Featured on 1/14/23. Four days in a row. Thanks guys, I’m touched.
Featured on 1/15/23. Five days? Holy shit I never expected this guys. Thank you all so much.
Featured on 1/16/23. This makes me wonder if there’s a limit to how many times I can announce a featured slot.
Featured on 2/2/23. Also marks the day I officially finished the story, so hooray.

This story is a sequel to Wanderings of a Non-Brony

After the six year journey around the planet in Wanderings of a Non-Brony, The human TD Harrison Powell finds himself in Equestria for good. He sees no choice but to settle down in Ponyville, ready to live the rest of his life as best as he can.

This is his life.

Edited by Marioland1 and Strike89

A human living in Equestria owns a restaurant in Canterlot. Hearth's Warming is approaching. Demand is high.

Life is a series of challenges, and running a restaurant is undoubtedly a big one. Jean does his best as anyone can while dealing with other things that have come into his life as of late.

This story is a sequel to The Legend Of Nicholas

Nicholas is the resident human of Ponyville, accepted and loved by all the ponies, especially the foals. Every year on hearth's warming eve, Nicholas makes toys for every foal in town.

However lately, Nicholas has had strange dreams about himself, about a crystal star, and about an Alicorn. Every night he feel more and more restless, and somehow he feels he must go. Nicholas has always had questions about who he is, and why he is in Equestria.

Without knowing why, he has a feeling that this year he might find answers. Of course, that feeling is only made stronger when eight reindeer come for him during the night, asking him to travel with them to the far North.

It is time for Nicholas to face his destiny, and be who he was always meant to be.

Story Inspired by: Life and Adventures of Santa Claus

Art made for me by: Hoodwinked MCShelster

What was going to be a relaxing weekend camping turns into a nightmare as a human gets lost in an unknown forest. Also, his phone decides to stop working for some reason, so he can't use it to orient himself or even for an emergency call. Maybe it's not the phone's fault at all, because you all can imagine where he actually is now.

Will there be adventure? Maybe a little at the beginning, but mostly slice of life afterwards. Sudden unknown OP human abilities because reasons? Well, if you count ear scritches, maybe? Instant romance with all the equestrian heros? Probably not, gee...

Then what's the point!?

... Uh... yep, that's the question, isn't it?

This is my take on a cheeky human in equestria self insert a human in equestria doing all the human in equestria things there are for a human in equestria to do. There is language barrier to spice it up a little bit, so it will focus on cultural differences, how to even communicate with the locals and coping with all the weird things this world can casually throw at a regular, out of the mill, human.

May contain subtle traces and hints of RGRE.

For those who know of Cheery Cheesy Cheeky Romance Hoers Words, this is the original setting and story I had planned but never published.

This story is a sequel to Anon’s A Villain Because Of A Bet

Anon was doing great in retirement, but then aliens come along and they’re definitely sure he’s still evil. Oh well, what’s one more rodeo?

Well, not that simple. This time, our villain Anon will have to prove he’s the most villainous of villains in order to take on these new challengers. And how do we determine a villain’s prowess? With a competition of course!