29- Discord! At long last? Wait... no...
Smarty Pants, our now kind of local alien, was soundly asleep in his castle room. It was a pleasant night, crickets were chirping, stars were twinkling and the moon shone trough the window.
It was perfect, except for the ominously gentle breeze coming trough said open window, the curtains swaying back and forth slowly. Yes… it was the kind of thing they showed in a horror film to unnerve people and warn them for the impending jump scare that was certainly coming, one could even hear the foreboding music playing in the background. Well, this isn’t a horror story, isn’t it?
An alien being in Equestria was the novelty of this setting.
And that’s probably why he felt so special. Ponies were… curious about him, some might even say they were thrilled to meet him. His life would be overflown with new friends and exciting adventures.
Some might even feel identified with him, live vicariously that thrill of loosing everything, a hard reset, the sadness that justified it all, to make it feel genuine, the fact that you just want to get rid of it all, that old boring life gone in a way that would remove the blame from you, as you had no options. The accident of coming to Equestria would be as much of a curse as a blessing, everypony would come and comfort him for his lost home, work with him to find a way back or, if not, provide a life for him, convince him he would be oh SO happy living amongst them, in this caring, loving and understanding society. A monster amongst the ponies, but they would accept him because THEY were the greater good, even a NEW creature from the great beyond would feel welcome and at home…
But what about those WEIRD creatures that had always been HERE? We didn’t get to experience THAT! Ponies ran away from US, they called us MONSTERS! *Sniff* Just like if we didn’t have feelings…
Yes… what about us… what about ME!
“Oh, he is so nice, he helped me around and thanked me, he even came back to visit even after I treated him like an animal…” Said Fluttershy’s voice to the empty room.
“Like I WASN’T there the whole time… like if I HADN’T helped her at all around the cottage…”
“Be nice to him, Discord. He is so alone; he is the only one of his species around…” I continued talking in Fluttershy’s voice as I mimicked with a talon a mouth talking and the shadow behind said talon was a perfect copy of Fluttershy’s silhouette.
“Hello! Is someone home!? Look at ME! Yeah… tons and tons of Draconequs around, they are OVERFLOWING!” A cascade of tiny discords rained down from the ceiling, creating a cacophony of squeaky toy sounds on impact.
“Me and my OH SO MANY colleagues around! I’ve NEVER been alone!” I gestured around for the audience.
Yes… you, the audience.
“And then you came here, and you got it all. You got Fluttershy’s help and friendship and care, you got the princesses looking after you, Twilight would LOVE to get in here and ask question after question. All your needs and desires taken care of in an instant, no need to work for it, no need for ANYTHING! Only your oh so important struggles and traumas to deal with in the perfectly accepting and friendly and safest place of all the universes, such a TRAGEDY!”
“Ugh…” The creature lying on the bed had the AUDACITY to stir and turn in his sleep, then rubbed one of his hands over his eyes.
“I can’t believe it…” I deadpanned at him and snapped my claws, producing a stack of written papers and Rarity’s red rimmed glasses (Please, don’t tell her I used those) appeared, precariously balanced on the tip of my muzzle.
“Who is in ugghh…” He groggily awoke.
“No… nononononno… EXCUSE ME! But according to the SCRIPT!” I shoved the stack of papers in front of him. “YOU are not supposed to wake up during my monologue.”
“Wait… what…” He confusedly started to read.
“Paragraph 27, subsection G, line 3. If you have any issues with that, please, send a written complain to the author. Now… ta ta, my friend, back to sleep.” Again, I had to snap my claw.
He got woozy and almost fell back to his bed… almost… but not.
“I said SLEEP!” I snapped, more energetically, this time a few sparks of static electricity came out of my claw, and he finally complied, falling back to the bed and resumed his light snoring.
“Geez… this low budget productions… I have to pull out all my charms to compensate for the lack of resources.”
I stared at him for a little while, pondering about what should be done with his case.
“Oh, he is so special, you have to be nice to him, he is my FRIEND!” I said in Fluttershy’s voice, cracking at the last word like it was the foulest thing ever.
All my life, all my sufferings, and this SCOUNDREL gets it all without batting an eye. The nerve!
“Oh, but… what makes you OH so special.” I got menacingly close to him.
“You are a creature from the greater beyond… the only one of your species… but what if you just weren’t THAT special... What if you just were another one of the bunch? Just having to work it all, be in the background forever, just a filler, another forgotten face in the crowd, a repeated, nameless asset…”
I snapped my claw again.
Chaos magic filled the room and… it fizzled out of existence after the light show.
“Wait… are you serious? Are you going to be stubborn until the very end?”
I snapped again, much, much harder this time, so hard it almost sounded like a thunder. The questionable script was the only thing that kept the creature asleep this time, but my chaos magic FINALLY caught on him, and I smiled down at what I had just done.
“Mwahahaha… yes… time to see it all unfold in the morning. Good luck, commander, I’ll be watching.”
***
Morning came, as mornings ought to do, which might not sound like a lot, but believe me it is, considering the sun and moon are magically bonking around under the whims of two sister horses with wings and horns.
I stirred awake under the sunlight’s assault. I Blame the princess, early mornings should be abolished and life ought to start later on, like… a couple of hours before lunch.
I tried to rub the sleepiness away, but I couldn’t coordinate. My arm moved the way I commanded it to move, but somehow it didn’t reach its intended target. Oh my… I am sleepier than I thought.
Maybe I should skip life today. I absolutely felt like garbage for some reason. And said reason was weird, because the more I thought about it, the more awake I was.
Then, why was everything so out of focus, so out of… something?
Whatever.
I tried to curl into a ball and wriggle my way under the covers again, but the more I moved, the bigger the mess I was creating.
What on earth!?
I opened my eyes, ready to find what was going on with my covers. They were a mess. How I managed to get them so tangled was beyond comprehension. And I was having difficulties to focus my eyes. A brown lump of something was in front of my nose for some reason.
I blinked furiously, and looked left and right. Wow… such a good peripheral vision, I could almost see behind me with almost no turn of my neck.
After a couple of seconds, I regained the ability to make my eyes look forward, but that brown lump remained. Pushing harder my forward-looking abilities I crossed my eyes and watched. That lump was where my nose was supposed to be.
How peculiar.
I tried to get up, but I only managed to trash around, entangling myself further. It was as if I had forgotten how to human.
Okay, something was definitely going on. Take it slowly, step by step. Figure this out in a calm and rational way.
I craned my neck to lift my head from the bed and take in the situation. For some reason my neck was much more flexible, and the movement of my head disturbed my center of mass much more than it ought to do, making me almost tumble forwards.
My whole body was entangled with the bedsheets, and for some reason it was not responding to my squirming the way it ought to. Okay, let’s see…
I lifted an arm, ready to grab the sheets and extricate myself from it all, but it came short, like… a few inches short from its intended target.
After so many years, I felt like a toddler trying to figure out my own body. A movement that was scripted in my muscle memory was just… not there anymore.
My body…
A cold sweat started to form on my brow, and the fur of my back bristled.
A hoof.
There was a hoof at the end of my arm, a slightly shorter arm than I was used to. Yeah! Enigma solved, that’s why I was unable to reach and unable to calculate distances, my arms were shorter than they used to be, and they had hooves instead of hands now. I should have thought about that…
Oh, and the bristled fur on my back… I had fur now, apparently…
What?
Wait…
Slowly, and looking back at the mess of blankets, I started to wriggle away from the bed. It was hard, and I only managed a marginal victory in that regard, and I got rewarded with the sight of more brown fur.
I looked up and caught a glimpse of orange bangs on top of my head. Oh, fancy… orange hair, it goes nicely with my brown coat.
Wait… am I a pony now!?
Have I been exposed too much to horse radiation and now I had turned into one of them?
Could it be that all those ponies were humans and then they turned into ponies when they got abduced here?
Was this all just a plot to get me?
Was I going to become one of them just like that?
Something stirred and moved under the covers without my permission. I could FEEL it was a part of me, but I hadn’t wished for something to move.
After some more wriggling I was able to free the little wiggler… a rich vibrant orange tail, shaking in annoyance.
And a nervous ruffling…
I spotted a feathery appendage that ALSO had the audacity to ruffle on its own if I stared too hard, and by the look of it, I had two of them. Where was the instruction manual for those? Nobody knew.
As I got increasingly frustrated, agitated and frightened, I notice something else. When A bird chirped, another thing on top of my head moved along, tracking the sound. When the frustration of yet another thing going on on its own got to me, said thing on top of my head went flat against my skull and all the morning sounds outside of the castle took a slightly muffled tint.
O… kay… This has to be a bad dream… a nightmare… I will pinch myself and wake up…
I just stared at my hooves, and said hooves offered no insights as to how would I pinch myself with them.
Okay… stay calm… take a deep breath and (oh my goodness, this nose is amazing, I can smell SHUT UP!) take it rationally.
I am a pony now, apparently. I have wings, so I am a Pegasus type. I need to find Purplesmart and ask for help, my ha-hooves were now shaking badly in terror.
Breathe in, breathe out… keep it together…
Oh, and ponies had another thing going on. Their markings, those things on their butts that somehow marked their destinies. Maybe I had one of those and it could somehow shine some light to this problem…
I took a look and found the most horrifying thing yet.
It was the very incarnation of tasteless, unremarkable and a thing that I particularly hated every single time I happened to land my eyes on it, so much so that I PURPOSEFULLY avoided using it when texting. And bear with me, back on Earth, that thing was something I saw a lot… A LOT! And I hated every single time I saw it.
The emoji of a laughing face with tears.
Then, and only then, I allowed myself to fully lose it and panic in a trashing screaming mess.
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Well, for me this is a huge red flag. I hate Discord and most ponies don't like him because he's a narcissistic jerk. And even if it's temporary he turned him into a pony....for no reason other than jealousy. Not like this would make it better. Just. No.
Fluttershy: Discord, change him back right now.
Discord: Why should I?
Fluttershy: Janeway. Picard. Sisko.
Discord: How do you know those names?
Fluttershy: You talk in your sleep.
Its Animated James?
This is truly a Discord Moment™
11768972
Well, Discord is canonically a narcissistic asshat, so it fits. I forget where we are in terms of canon timeline though. It's been a bit since last chapter.
Eh… I’m hoping he goes back to human. Human-into-pony has been done. A lot. Human-living-with-ponies has more going for it, and in this story, I think
11768972
I mean, this is the same being who canonically almost sent somepony to another dimension for that same reason. And canonically almost killed Best Yak Yona for that same reason, again. And canonically almost doomed all of Equestria because he made one of the most fundamental mistakes a chaos elemental can make; doing something that made sense to him.
Just saying, he's got a hell of a track record.
11769071
Not sure what point you are trying to make. I'd be happy if Discord just wasn't involved. Or if he just did his usual show up, talk nonsense and peace out. But for HiE fics, it's very important that if you do turn the human into a pony, the how/why/when are pretty important if you want people to accept it. I've seen it done decently or well several times. I've also seen a few stories that do it horribly. This is just "Discord is chaotic and random, so now human is pony." Worst part is that it took this long to come around and there is no foreshadowing. Just...this.
11769081
I agree, it came from nowhere. Heck, I forgot this story was even a thing. I'm not even sure I remember which one this is. Just suddenly saw an update and BOOM, Discord POV, Discord being petty, ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, human is pony because Discord. Unfortunately, Discord and beings like him are too often made to be the 'a wizard did it' button for stories taking place in magical worlds. Even DHX used him like that sometimes. When they weren't depowering him to raise the stakes, that is.
Yeah not a fan of this. Discord felt shoehorned in at best, and the whole human-to-pony thing just kills my interest in this story.
😂👌
Discord can be helpful, but he needs to pout first.
Rude
11769081
Well, sorry to hear that. It is indeed true that transformations are a bit polemic. This is just as you described it, human is now pony because of random. I hope future chapters help fix that, as this is, and will continue to be a human in equestria story. I won't use this as a turning point or anything, and he will still be human in the future. And Discord is kind of the villain from time to time despite being reformed, so there is that. Discord won't be involved in the long run, just a couple more scenes.
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I agree, this setting has deus ex emergency buttons like... literally everywhere. That being said, I'll tell this is not a turning point nor a major plot twist, this is just the 'Discord part' in this story, and I won't use it as an excuse to suddenly flip everything out and start to write transformed human in Equestria (This story already has a sequel in which he is still human with no lasting consequences).
11769009
That is all I aimed for in this one. Thank you!
W chapter L Discord. Discord is the biggest opp.
Expecting him to be considered a very attractive stallion and get even more attention, annoying discord
D:
Discord there are LINES and you have crossed ALL of them.
Yay discord lolllll
Holy this the cutie mark reviel killed me.
11769262
Yeah, I immediately got 'Poison Joke without the Poison or the Joke' vibes-if you catch my drift-from this particular antic of Discord. Obviously he won't be like that for long, even if Fluttershy has to make Discord change him back.
11769398
Thankfully the Pepe emoji line remained inviolate.
It's too early in this arc for it to already be a failure, guys. The author can definitely do interesting things with it. Let's see what it is.
He's a pony? Oh boy, I wonder how others will react. He hasn't even done anything to Discord. Wait until Fluttershy finds out.
Ok, I am listening. HOW is this going to backfire on Discord? His magic always does.
😂😂😂
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Welp, at least it got a reaction.
11769701
Yeah, but Pepe would be a tasteful in a tasteless way thing, if you know what I mean. It would give it SOME personality.
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Oh no
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I wasn't really planning on stretching the pony transformation thing too long. Maybe some might find it WAY too short actually. And I might add some worldbuilding in that too.
I wonder what Cheerilee will think of his cutie mark, and of course the fact that he’s not currently of an alien species.
Aaaaactually, Discord, the MOST friendliest and safest place in the multiverse is the world of "Hakumei to Mikochi", which is totally chill and has TONS of foodies who'll make AMAZING treats, like caneles! I got some at the Mujina Store that this nice badger, Shigume-san, manages. Her brother, Keito, is the one who bakes them; they're rather his specialty. Oh, and this one basement bar, False Hearts, in the seaside town of Makinata is pretty amazing. The owner, Shunka, knows pretty much every possible type of alcoholic beverage there is. There are HUNDREDS of liqueurs there, made of stuff you'd never even think to use! Such as musalva, made from extracts of lemongrass, billberry, cranberry, and a medicinal herb called eleuthero.
(Everyone just stares at Alondro... staringly...)
11769398 It could have been the poop emoji.
11776126
Oh, right. There's no '7' in base 4. How did I miss that? Thanks for pointing that out.
There would actually be 13 days in a week, 130 days in a month, 31 months in a year, and 11230 days in a year. Thanks for making me return to that comment so I could notice my inconsistency.
But either way my conclusion rests. Is the author really sure about using base 4? Math on Equus was probably invented, if not expanded upon to modern-ish or wherever it is now by Minos, anyway.
11776238
I'll say this is one of the many things that would require some tweaking on my part. Probably I mentioned something that leads to that conclussion, but in the end, what I wantes to get to is they use base four. Their years are around the same lenght as our years, up or down a few days and some hours. I think I said 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month (28 days a month) and like 13 months a year. That makes 364 days a year. Probably the misunderstandment comes from the fact I said that in base 10, he didn't know the numbers very well, probably still learning back at that point, and based his conclussions on repeating patterns or calendars where you could count the days and so on.
EDIT: Oh, yeah... that is what you are actually saying on base four, isn't it? Well, then it might be kind of useful for later shenanigans.
11776320
I don't understand what you're trying to say there. I'm just saying that using such a small mathematical base gets out of hand fast. I demonstrated that with the base 10 number 364 converted to base 4. It's a 5 digit number. Beyond that, there's also the simple fact that by choosing to use bas 4, any time numbers are involved you won't be able to rely on the system you've known all your life. You'll have to manually roll a number up to ten when it goes past 3.
Why not just use base 10? It wouldn't be hard to explain since Minotaurs are a thing, and I'm pretty sure Fanon has already created the Minotaur country Minos, and painted it as the Equus analogue of Greece. If it comes up in the story, just have it explained that math as Equus knows it was invented in Minos.
11776329
The base 4 was part of a joke about other fanfics saying that ponies lived for centuries based on something that happened in the show. And base 4 is the simple base for simple numbers (For elementary schools and the earth ponies of old). There will be more discussion about it once our human gets over the language barrier a little bit more. I had in mind adding more bases to the mix, the ones used by unicorns and wizards.
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No but seriously I suck at math. I have no idea why using base 4 results in 13 days a week or the different month and year. Would appreciate it if you can show me how that works.
11776806
Base 4 goes {0,1,2,3,10,...} compared to the {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,...} of base 10
For days in the week,
{1,2,3,4,5,6,7} becomes {1,2,3,10,11,12,13}.
With each sequence I'll be picking up from the end of the last , just to keep from clogging this comment up even more with the number strings. I don't think I explained that as well as I could have, but it should make sense when I do it.
Months in the year is the next smallest number.
{7,8,9,10,11,12,13} becomes {13,20,21,22,23,30,31}.
From here things become a bit more complicated as more digits are added.
For days in the month,
{13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28} becomes {31,32,33,100,101,102,103,110,111,112,113,120,121,122,123,130}.
Now I'm sure I don't need to say why I won't be showing the number string for days in the year. Suffice to say that 64 and 256 in base 10 are 1,000 and 10,000 respectively in base 4. Going a couple steps further just to further demonstrate my point of things getting out of hand really quickly, 1,024 and 4,096 in base 10 are 100,000 and 1,000,000 respectively in base 4.
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Ok, I think I'm starting to understand it now. Thank you.
Well that was unexpected! I can definitely see Discord doing it though.
A laughing emoji cutie mark... The horror!
Ponies using base 3+1 is always fun.
11792783
With all the "Oh, come on" that I had and a few ideas from a friend and a couple more of mine I brewed this one. Kind of like a bunch of already very repeated clichés but with the direction I thought it would really take.
11792835
Season six, just when Starlight Glimmer is living in the castle and taking lessons herself. There are a lot of references to episodes that hint when is this taking place, as well as giving clues about the things that are about to happen in the background. Yes... season six finale will happen.
Is this still being worked on? Or is it dead? If not, please give us something, literally anything
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It is still being worked on. Sorry about the delay, just some stuff going on. I have not been writing much lately.
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Sweet
jajajajaja.
"My thanks to Smauldog for that, hope it goes well."
hahahahaha, damn, my name, it's obvious that you were tired, I'm just finishing translating everything into Spanish and I end up like this, this is the damn best, hahaha. I leave it like this in the translation to laugh a little more.
and anyway thanks for mentioning me, and today I'm finally up to date with you
Moving to my “zombie” folder: Appears dead, randomly comes back to life
11850568
Sorry to hear that. I hope I can bring this back to life fully in the summer.
11852268
I look forward to that... but no need to rush!