• Member Since 16th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Axel Azabash



What was going to be a relaxing weekend camping turns into a nightmare as a human gets lost in an unknown forest. Also, his phone decides to stop working for some reason, so he can't use it to orient himself or even for an emergency call. Maybe it's not the phone's fault at all, because you all can imagine where he actually is now.

Will there be adventure? Maybe a little at the beginning, but mostly slice of life afterwards. Sudden unknown OP human abilities because reasons? Well, if you count ear scritches, maybe? Instant romance with all the equestrian heros? Probably not, gee...

Then what's the point!?

... Uh... yep, that's the question, isn't it?

This is my take on a cheeky human in equestria self insert a human in equestria doing all the human in equestria things there are for a human in equestria to do. There is language barrier to spice it up a little bit, so it will focus on cultural differences, how to even communicate with the locals and coping with all the weird things this world can casually throw at a regular, out of the mill, human.

May contain subtle traces and hints of RGRE.

For those who know of Cheery Cheesy Cheeky Romance Hoers Words, this is the original setting and story I had planned but never published.

Chapters (28)
Comments ( 650 )

Very fun first chapter!
Don't want to stop and visit the castle when a snake-chicken monstrosity is trying to eat you?
Understandable, have a nice day.

Since you posted the first three chapters all at once, is the whole story pre-written, or just these chapters?

I would say that about three quarters of the story are drafted. About 24 short chapters, but some of them might be merged together or extended. I also need to give them a few reads. I’m not making a schedule for the updates, just as long as I feel I have something good enough to upload.

I’m glad you enjoyed it.

This story has got to be my favorite realistic human in equestria I have read can't wait for the next chapter.

I'm happy you liked it. That's the best thing I can hope for.


My Little Tukayyid. Where's the interstellar phone company when you need them?

Accidental transport to another world, comms device not working… Oh no! He forgot to pay the bills!

They wanted me to get tired, to exhaust myself so I could be an easier prey. Not happening anymore, change in tactics

Pha, you are a human, you will completely run out of steam much later than an ordinary animal,

I can throw off a dozen realistic fanfics about popadants.

magic horses do not mean a lack of realism


Probably jumped over some creek but miscalculated. Classic mistake. Greeted by some suspiciously clever birds, too - it's that one book, isn't it.

Now that I think about it, there might have been a river/creek crossing at some point if we think about the first episodes when they face that snake guy to get to the sister's castle. But probably it was ommited by the narrative and the bird people are not relevant to the universe anyways. They were maybe replaced by regular birds to keep the crossover tag away.

I haven't read that many lore books about Battletech, just a couple of novelillas from the boxes. Probably I should start reading them because I love the setting... I have been telling me to do that for a couple of years already.

Maybe that would be true for a hunter-gatherer human of old times, or an olympic athlete. A full time hunter-gatherer would be trained to do that, as his life would depend on it, running away from predators, chase down prey... but for a regular, out of the mill human who probably lives in a city and struggles with a little exercise? Probably not a good idea to try to outpace a pack of wolves. (Not to mention magical wolves).

Also wolves are not regular animals, they also focus a lot on endurance and use the same tactic, so it would be a challenge for both sides. Wolves could keep up with humans of old times, that's why they got domesticated and now we have dogs, probably, I'm no expert. Also, horses were domesticated too because they were BETTER than humans at endurance, horses can sweat too, so they are as good, if not better, and also significantly faster. Maybe, I'm no expert.


I don't rememeber them well enough to give any recommendations, but some are definitely much worse than others, so at the very least I can recommend looking for recommendations first, lol.

people in ancient times hunted horses too, but I'm not a specialist.
for the rest, there are no objections, I'm not right.

if the day comes faster here, then he should have slept more than one night. or at least feel like you haven 't had enough sleep .

Ah, he really sleeps after.

Humans are crafry. Ambushes, spears and stuff. They were literally able to hunt anything if they really wanted to. Give humans a reason to hate something and enough time/resources to prepare and that something is likely to have a bad time. We humans are really amazing.
When you have a fever and have to rest in bed, time doesn't matter that much, as you are likely to spend as much as possible in bed, only getting up to go to the bathroom and eating. Also, there are moments you feel better after taking the medicine and so on...

Yep, overreactions are never a good thing, a lot of stories go overboard with drama making it ridiculous.

Approaching problems with a levelheaded and realistic reaction without drama is best.

That a person doesn't flip out doesn't mean he isn't in a bad situation. It only means that he can deal with it better.

Comment posted by Fluttercry12 deleted Aug 22nd, 2022

Noooooo must have more please

o-o-o-o-o, let a person cook something from a human kitchen. for example, "Draniki" (potato pancakes)
I really want to see the reaction of ponies to the kitchen from another world

“Wait… That’s illegal in many countries, Sun, just come back up!” I yelled at the universe in general, pointing at the night sky.

Wanted: The Sun.
Reward: At least 10 bits.
Crime: Did the sleepy time thing a bit too soon. Very rude.

"Yeah! Run away, filthy clanners! Inner Sphere rules!" I screamed back at them. "Fucking Timberwolves, they are OP."

I personally recommend a Marauder IIC with ERPPCs and a Gauss rifle for MADCAT clean up. Out range the snipers and even Clan Bullshit has to lose sometime. Or just send in a Lyran Scout Lance.

Edit: Fucking ComStar, never there when you need them because their too busy selling your FedCom Intel to the damned Dragon.

I don't know what those are. The human cooking something could be an interesting idea, but I don't have plans for it. It could be possible in the future after the chapters that are already written. I'll keep that in mind.

Thank you, will try!

No cake for the sun tonight.

One of my favorite clan mechs indeed. I have many stories of tabletop games throwing 'stupid' at the clans, laughing at it and suddenly discovering it wasn't as stupid as I thought, for the surprise of everyone involved, OP Timberwolves included.

Always hated the idea they asume a creature wearing close and has technology is a pet happen a lot in hie even with all the evidence to the contrary

You need to finish this story. It's a neat fresh old school HiE but with some creative twists. Really brings me back to when I joined in 2012.

The pet or animal theory goes away eventually. I added it as a part of the initial misunderstandings. Fluttershy treating it like an animal and being able to comunicate with him with her special talent and the fact he does not speak a ‘common language’ that any sapient race seems to speak in the show are the misleading clues.

Rest assured, they will discover the truth the more they deal with him. This is not a ‘pet human’ story, but I needed a little of that to make Fluttershy go all protective over him for comedic purposes and ear scritches.

That is because it was an old school fic I wrote back in the day… I never published it because it was incomplete and I wasn’t sure I would finish it. But now, with the kind of sequel already out, this story has a very specific direction and point for it to end, and over half of it is already drafted, so the chances of finishing it are pretty good.

Kinda want twilight to come back and freak out seeing him listening to human music on his phone and she gobsmacked at the alien music

Neigh neigh whiney winny!!!!!!

Is the likley response.

There are a lot of freak outs to be had in the future by all parties involved.

Probably, until he manages to unlock the knowledge of Neigh-ish

These are free clothes. too picky

Right? Like, if I saw a cat-like creature wearing form fitted clothes, had tools on a belt and occasionally built stuff, wandering around trying to speak to people, my first reaction would not be "oh what a darling kitty, d'aww it thinks it's people :) it's clearly wearing, holding, and using those tools like any pet would do haha so silly". My first reaction would be "what the fuck???" and trying to figure out whether I was being pranked or on a hidden camera tv show, then I would try to communicate (if I wasn't too freaked out, lol) and see if what I'm assuming is actually the case or not.

It kinda works in this fic, because no one is actually trying to communicate. Even Fluttershy is just kind of reacting to the situation, though she CAN ask questions if she wanted to, she just isn't. I think this is mainly because everyone, human included, have just drawn a bunch of conclusions and figure they probably don't need to delve too deeply into it through speaking to one another. Obviously, this isn't going to hold for too much longer, as the human begins to interact with the ponies more. In fact, I'm sure all of those preconceptions will fall apart the *second* he enters ponyville and speaks to other ponies.

What is the gender of the human

Yep, I totally agree. This was written a long time ago, which allows me to have kind of a semi-outsider view of the story. I'm taking into account all your comments to tailor a better course of events. This fic was in part (among many other stories) inspired by 'Your Human and You' back in the day, so the 'pet' part is a little bit overcooked at the beginning. I'm editing some details and adding others to kind of remedy that in the parts where some ponies still assume he is not sapient.

Male... that is sadly one of the few details that ends up being obvious about him. Easier to write it that way.


I don't get it he said something and twilight said he doesn't talk

thank u 4 the new ch can't wait 4 more

Welp, I'm sure that this will further blow Twilight's mind.

Our human (who's name I forget) is going to confuse the [buy apples!] outta all them little ponies.

further, the rainbow plays a person by shooting lightning at him, after which he dies because unlike ponies, a person is not able to survive a lightning

Strange creature say mommy
Everyone turns to fluttershy
Pinkie: wow fluttershy I didnt know your into that kind of kink :pinkiehappy:

another great ch can't wait 4 more thank u

Most likely. Twilight is gonna twilight hard...
He will surprise and confuse them with human stuff. And they will also surprise and confuse him.
Yeah, that's a very common way to go with RD. Regarding cartoon/magic physics, I will apply them equally to all of them or not at all. If he gets a lightning bolt, I'm going to make it 'pony lightnings are weaker than earth ones'. So, he would survive, or make pegasus made lightning magical in nature, so I can invent stuff and not explain it.
I seriously thought a scene about "wow, Flutters, didn't know you were into that" as part of the jokes comming from the initial misunderstandings. Probably will do at some point.
You are welcome. I'm happy you liked it.

cartoon physics ? in real life, there are animals immune to lightning.

What an interesting turn of events, Can't wait for them to realize what word they have been saying.


Many animals on earth make sounds, and those sounds are likely a form of communication, but we don't know what it means.

Twilight: *Approaches menacingly*

To make this work, you have to decanonise Equestria Girls. Twilight has wings and a horn, and mentions Starlight Glimmer as a student, which means she has been to the EQG world multiple times. As such she should recognise this guy as similar to the humans on the other side of the mirror, though not the same if he retained realistic skin colour and proportions. She should certainly recognise the human made technology.

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