• Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Christopher28


T

An archeologist finds himself pulled into a parallel world by Discord's storm of Chaos, and encounters the mysterious creatures that live there. How will a rational human, confronted by creatures out of mythology, and unable to find his way home, adapt to his environment? Only one way to find out.

Chapters (39)
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Comments ( 1611 )

I know... half a dozen MLP fanfiction stereotypes in a single chapter... *shrugs* I hope it's a good read regardless. I'm writing this while I'm waiting for the writers block on my novel to break. I'll try to write an actual middle and end to this story, as I always hate when a good story goes halfway and then leaves me hanging... but no promises. RL takes priority, and mine is a busy one. Enjoy, you bronies!

Very nice. It's hard for me to enjoy Human in Equestria stories, but this one is good.

Interesting, I look forward to more!:pinkiehappy:

Hmm.. good read, even if I normally dislike HiE stories your is pretty good. Translation spell and little misunderstanding done nicely, and Discord explanation, while one of cliches, work out just fine. Will wait for more. Expecially thanks for no "romance" tag!

It is a good HiE story. The introduction made sense, the characterization was believable. A little weak on some of the mane six, but trying to introduce all of them in one story is rather tough.

I do like the use of an archeologist for the protagonist. Cultural training is a big part of their lives and it makes a lot of the observations and acceptance much more believable. I'm rather hoping that the translation spell has to be renewed regularly. Having it only last a few hours rather than permanent gives some opportunities for mute observation and discovery as opposed to a game of show and tell.

Hope to read more. Nice work.

I actually did plan on making the translation spell be temporary. I like consistency in my fantasy, and Twilight's magic has been shown to have pretty consistant limits. Of course, she's pretty powerful, and a translation spell would seem to have a relatively low energy requirement, so, like her cloud walking spell, it is likely that it would have a good long duration, say, sometime between a day and a week. Of course, I may shorten that, but for the moment that's what I'm going to go with.

I do agree, that mute communincation does make an interesting literary tool, however. (anyone recall the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Hush"?)

Stereotypes or not, this is unusually well written. I think I shall track it.

Holy crap, a HiE fix with PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELLING! Totally tracking

I'm really looking forward to how this one will turn out, already following.

Not the end... although one ending. I'm actually pretty happy with this.

Endings are hard... good endings doubly so, and I feel like I nailed this one. But no, this story is not complete. (although this would make a good place to close a short story, I think...)

I like this, and I hope you'll do more.

If there's one thing that sits a bit uneasy with me, it's the discussion of violence in our human world. It seems overstated on both sides. Johnathan rambles excessively on the subject, while the ponies seem too shocked. I know they are pacifists by nature, but I figured they were made of sterner stuff than this. These aren't your G3 ponies who spend their days giggling and having tea parties and giggling and playing dress-up and giggling.

I'd suggest that both worlds are large and diverse, and categorizing one as safe-and-civilized and the other as violent-and-barbaric is just unfair. I mean, for example: would you be more afraid of finding yourself suddenly dropped into The Netherlands or into the Griffin Kingdom?

Okay, so this is one ending? Like this was a short story and is finished, but you will also make more chapters starting back from a point in the near past?

I agree, I did have my human protegonist ramble on a bit too long before coming arond to the point. In my head, Celestia was subtly encouraging him to continue on the subject, as it was the human tendency towards violence she was worried about... and she wanted to get a true picture of how bad it could be... but it does seem to bog down the story a bit... good place to edit, I suppose. I might have indicated the subtle magic Celestia was using to get Johnathon to open up more clearly as well... Hindsight is aways keener, I suppose. So far I've been pretty much writing this in a nearly stream of consciousness style, so I expect I'll hit more rough patches.

As for the shock Twilight exhibits? Perhaps a slight overreaction, but I often do lean toward the dramatic... Still, while some level of violence does exist in the MLP universe, we have never seen any real crime, no police, no army, not a single weapon of any kind...

Princess Celestia's guards wear armor, but there has never been a single weapon. Even villain's like Nightmare Moon have not resorted to anything like lethal force... (ignoring the fact that in a realistic world, no sun would mean everyone dies of starvation or freezes to death, but it's a magical world, perhaps Nightmare Moon had some plans to feed and heat the planet? Or she didn't think that far ahead, being a bit crazy?)

Heck, there is a huge dragon that could eat a dozen ponies in a gulp, covering ponyville in smoke, and Celestia sends Twilight and company to deal with it? Unless we are to assume that Celestia is more than a little ruthless, we have to figure that even dragons in this world do not kill other sentient beings without cause. And the Griffins? Gilda was rude, and a bit mean, but she never laid so much as one talon on any pony. Given the ponies casual reactions to her, Griffins aren't considered dangerous.

Extrapolating, it is easy to conclude that even the meat eating creatures of this world ruled by alicorns respect life to an unheard of degree on our world. Is it the influence of a certain benevolent immortal alicorn? It seems likely. Even the depictions of the founding of Equestria, and the alicorn sister's battle against Discord in the distant past have no real violence or death. No one is ever killed, no matter how evil... so it comes across as a serious taboo, just by the fact that it's never even referenced.

It's just my opinion, of course, but I think it's pretty plausible on the surface. Lethal Weapons, and the concepts of deliberately ending the life of a sentient being, are not things you find in Equestria, or if they are, they are very, very rare, and suppressed.

Anyway, to answer another question... this was not the end, not even of this story. Twilight's gut feeling is correct, and this is not the end. You didn't think it would be that simple, did you?

Oh wait... Pip the pirate was waving around a wooden sword on Nightmare Night, wasn't he?

*Sighs* Darn it. That blows my theory out of the water... anyone want to earn a no-prize by figuring out why that DOESN'T mess with my no-weapons, no-killing in Equestria theory?

Personally, I'm going to pretend he was holding a wooden replica of a handy tool for dramatically descending sails with... not a weapon. (If anyone doesn't get the reference, watch some Errol Flynn pirate movies...)

Hah... I almost forgot Applebloom. She's been depicted wearing a karate gi, and when she got 'cutie pox' she gets a fencing mark, and is winning a sword fight with another little pony... just fencing foils, of course, but still, no way to explain that away. Sure, they are all minor instances, but obviously weapons exist in Equestria.

*throws in the towel*

Alright, looks like I need to make some changes if I want my story to match the canon. I can do that. Time for a rewrite.

>>Christopher28

I like to think about it from the point of view where weapons are more archaic and reserved for guards and other ponies of that stature. If you'll remember, in "A Bird in the Hoof", when the pegasus guards' wings connected, we heard a metal clash. If my theory is correct, weapons such as wing-blades and other forms of swords exist, covering Pipsqueak's costume, yet modern firearms have yet to even be stumbled upon. Plus, there really isn't much reason for anything like our modern weapons, considering the griffins and zebras are relatively friendly to the ponies in Equestria.

However, perhaps in the past such weapons were required to live, comparable to our Middle Ages? Over time their need would have dwindled to near nothing in the civilian population, creating the desired effect of no weapons in the populace.

Does this satisfy your question? *Bows before you*

(On a side note, no-prizes are my favorite)

-Randomosity19

Actually, my thoughts were leaning in that direction as well.

Looking at what little canonical history of Equestria we have been shown so far, we can come to some basic conclusions.

Over a thousand years before the series is set, perhaps several thousand years, (it isn't said, but certainly well before Nightmare Moon is trapped in the moon), the unicorns controlled the day and night, the pegasus controlled the weather, and the earth ponies controlled the land, and apparently Celestia and Luna didn't exist yet.

An important factor, if more than just a legend, is the existance of the "Windigoes" which feed off fighting and hatred. They would be a very powerful motivation to avoid serious conflict, once the various races discovered their existence, and how they were causing the world to enter a premature ice age...

At some point later, Celestia and Luna are born... come to be...? And take over the duties of raising the sun and moon.

Some point after this, Discord controls Equestria, and Celestia and Luna defeat him and become rulers.

All of this happens at some point more than a thousand years before the time depicted in the show. At some point after that, Luna goes nuts and Celestia sends her to the moon.

So... there may have been armed conflict in Equestria's past... perhaps even as recently as the period right before the founding..., the rosy picture of opposing rulers simply bickering and going their seperate ways, painted by the "Hearth's Warming Eve Play" could obviously be the result of history being retouched... but it seems rather clear that in general, there were no serious conflicts between the species of pony after the founding of Equestria.

Certainly, in the thousand years of Celestia's rule after Nightmare Moon was banished, it seems that their world was extraordinarily peaceful.

Having a ruler who actually lives over a thousand years means that their history would be more accurate than ours... unless Celestia took it upon herself to sanitize the parts of history she didn't want to see repeated... which is more likely, IMO.

So at the least, we probably can assume there has been no major armed conflicts of any kind for the last thousand years. Long enough that the very concept of war would be alien to the ponies of Equestria. Just like in our society, weapons that were used a thousand years ago are used today as implements of harmless sports... no military seriously uses swords today, but it's likely that the sport of fencing will last for centuries to come...

Anyway... as I said, I think a rewrite is in order, although not a major one. And then on to chapter 3!

And... done. Minor edits, mostly. Just smoothing out things to make sense. I believe I'll call Chapter 2 done now, and move on!

Time for Chapter 3.

Regarding extreme pacifism.... My assumption has always been that we don't see outright violence largely because we're viewing their world through the lens of a TV-Y rated cartoon. That translates as "all ages 2 and older"! The violence and danger are implied rather than shown directly because that's what the rating requires.

By way of comparison, the new Looney Tunes Show is rated TV-PG (9+ years, parental guidance suggested) and they still took away Yosemite Sam's pistols. That should give you some idea how sensitive the requirements are for getting a cartoon on TV. That FIM is working within those restrictions and still managing to imply some degree of danger in their world is.... pretty cool, actually. :coolphoto:

Well, we can assume we're seeing their world through a lens, brightly, or, as I'm doing, come up with canonical, (if slightly implausible) reasons that everything we've seen so far is true...

Which gives us some weird history... but again, it doesn't seem too much to ask to actually accept that magical talking unicorns with wings control the sun and moon?

Anyway... I'm simply going with some rather bold assumptions, and work from there.

A: A prey species (ponies) becoming the masters of their world instead of a predator species, (humans!) means that competitive drives aren't as primal. Gryphins and Dragons (obviously prey species) exist as well, but have adapted to the acceptable social mores of the more powerful society. Add in magical creatures (Windigos, and yes, I'm assuming they're real) that bring never-ending winter in response to fighting and hate? A more peaceful society than our own just makes sense.

B: An Immortal, all powerful being that actually lives on the planet. Sure, Celestia is shown to be far from all powerful, but it's obvious that she and Luna have significantly more power than anything else, save possibly dragons, and Discord himself, on the planet, and are essentially immortal. What they say goes! It's like what would happen if Superman lived on earth since Roman times... and got tired of war and violence. What military is going to say... "heck with what the immortal super being says, we're going to blow our enemies up anyway.... oops, look at that, all our tanks just melted..."

C: Finally, why doesn't the giant dragon in "Dragonshy" eat the Mane 6 for lunch when they disturb his nap? Why, for that matter, would Celestia risk her favorite student like that, when, if there was trouble, the dragon could easily have eaten them all? Because an immortal alicorn with the power to move the Sun and Moon says if you eat intelligent species, you get sent into the Sun, so Celestia knows that there is no real danger. (OK, this is part of B, but it's a really important clue...)

D: Because it's my story, and it's the way I'm interpreting the MLP universe. *grins*

There you go. Chapter 3!

If you're curious, yes, I am writing these off the cuff each evening... so unfortunately, as soon as my inspiration dries up, these will slow down. I'm not putting out a chapter a night because I have a bunch saved up, I'm afraid.

Hopefully, even if I do hit a dry spell, I'll give you all a proper middle and ending before too long. The sort of story I have (vaguely) planned here usually takes me several months to a year to finish, although if I keep writing at this rate I'll be done in under a month! (not that it's likely I'll be able to keep this up that long.)

Again, I do hate unfinished stories, so I will try to give you a worthy ending without cutting things too short. I want to tell this tale properly, so I'm going to keep going while there is story to tell.

A lot of this is pretty easy... having well established characters means a lot of the dialog pretty much writes itself. I don't have to make up what Applejack or Pinkie Pie might say... they practically speak for themselves!

That means, however, that a lot of the time, I let things happen... I don't always know how a particular scene will end until I've written it. I have a plan, usually, but sometimes, the characters just kind of look at me and raise their eyebrows... "I wouldn't say that, silly human!" And off the story goes in an entirely new direction!

(no, I'm not insane, thank you, I'm just anthropomorphizing the concepts I have of the various character's involved... OK, I might be a LITTLE crazy.)

Hope you all enjoy my insanity as much as I do.

Twilight nodded thoughtfully. "Is that because of your predator upbringing? Always having to be wary of the other predators in the group must make large gatherings nervous..."

best twilight line ever.

You know, I like the fact that Fluttershy till cares about him like she would for any other animal the most. In far too many Fic's she just stops the moment she realizes that he is intelligent. :fluttershysad:

Very first line; Celestia's name has no 'a' on the end of it. Just pointin' that out. Great chapter none the less though! You write conversations at a higher level than most I feel. Very realistic, ya' know, as far as ponies are concerned. Awaiting more!

Ponies in the show can regurgitate

Huh, must have missed that. That's what I get for not doing my research thoroughly. Ah well, just a minor edit.

Just a bone to pick with this: in Applebuck Season, Pinkie vomits on a bucket. So yeah, Equestrian ponies can regurgitate. It's a minor plot hole right now, but you'd better fix it before it grows, even if you don't mean it to.

Yes... so I've been told. Can't think of how I missed that, aside from the fact that I probably know a little too much about actual horses, and assumed things that don't carry over into the show. (and it's been a QUITE a while since I've seen episode 4...) Which I just rewatched. "Baked BADS!" Heh.

Anyway, I've fixed that particular mistake, and replaced it with some light comedy at Twilight's expense. She get's SO serious about Celestia some times...

So... you liked it otherwise then? I do appreciate the feedback, it encourages me to work on the next chapter... *chuckles*

This is actually rather refreshing. Most fics I've read (including my own) simply assume that there will be at least one language on Earth that coincides with the Equestrian language. You actually made a need for a translation spell. Nice idea.

As to archeologists...A nice choice of profession for the Human character. Normally HiE fics have their Human characters come from some sort of fighting background ranging from boxing to straight-up military. Nice to read something peaceful once in awhile.

lol, mental image of the princess being puked on by a Human!

I eagerly await the next installment. :twilightsmile:

Wow...Just...wow. A human character that isn't emo?! Amazing!

nice keep them coming :rainbowkiss:

I noticed quite a few grammatical errors in this chapter but nothing so bad as to detract from the story. I like where you are going with this; can't wait for the next update!

Grammatical errors? Unfortunately, I believe it. I've been writing these chapters each night and putting them right out there without an attempt at serious editing, which is almost certainly a mistake. Ah well. If this was a job, it would pay better!

I'll try and stay on top of the errors, and I honestly don't mind them being pointed out... (although specifics are better, I can fix those much easier!)

Anyone want a job as an Editor? I pay half of what I get, but you get no days off and zero vacations!

I get so excited to see this every morning, and then I get anger when I finish the chapters, so keep up the good work!

I WOULD be an editor, but unfortunately my schedule as of now will not allow me to.

Axz

Relay grate story Christopher28 i liked every chapter so far, the story feels thought true and well done over all so ones again grate job.
One of the reasons i like this the most i think is the fact that you chose to have the human character a bit older and mature then the unseal HiE story's do, (in tired to death whit unhappy collage students sent to equestria concept) so props to you for doing that:twilightsmile:
I liked the language difference to, not many storys have that but i think it makes it more realistic and interesting first contact scenario, and good thing the translation spell was just temporary and you plan on have him learn equestria.
the grammatical errors was ferry few as far as i could see, and the few i did spot was just minor ones, wich the story as a whole easily compensate for.
ill easyly give this story five of five pinkie smiles and eagerly wait for future updates:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

There's a typo in the title.

"She's have loved this place."
'She'd'

Nice catch on the 'she's/she'd, mrpretzel, but I'm not seeing the typo in the title.

'Differernt' rather than 'Different'.

*blinks* Er... wow. How in the heck did I miss that? It's fixed now. Sheesh. That was embarrassing.

I apologize for the lack of some sort of overarching plot-line (beyond the basic one of someone adapting to a new place), but the thought of adding a villain or major threat to the story, and somehow connecting it with Johnathon's arrival would be more than a little convenient.

A stranger appears... and suddenly he's pivotal in saving the world? Yeah... no. Twilight's original arrival in Ponyville and her own subsequent saving of the world was obviously part of a Xanatos Gambit by Celestia. Well... more of a hail mary play, really, as it could have easily failed. In any case, there was a good reason for things to go down the way they did.

So... no major villain or problem will crop up for our human protagonist to deal with. At least not immediately, and I am NOT going to make the mistake of making his role to such a situation to be the vital one. Frankly, while he's a perfectly capable sort, he's not the sort of hero the Mane 6 are. And there is no doubt, those 6 are heroes... in every sense of the word.

So for awhile yet, (we're at nearly 50,000 words and we're still going through Johnathon's adapting to his environment!) you can expect more of the same. Johnathon's going to learn about Cutie Marks next chapter! *chuckles* Which, believe it or not, going to be a difficult moment for him... but you'll get too see for yourself, assuming I'm not boring anyone to tears yet.

"I actually know a lot about entomology, although I guess it won't help so much here."

No, it wouldn't.

entomology = the branch of zoology concerned with the study of insects

etymology = the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history

And you don't need a meteoriticist to tell you which way the wind blows. :rainbowlaugh:

Twas beautiful! I love how you do sentiment without making it all mushy. I suppose it helps that you don't have a fragile emo teen as the main charcter, but still, it's refreshing. Looking forward to the party! Also hoping there's alcahol, ponies and alcahol mix epically!

I've enjoyed reading this story so far. It seems that too many hies have a quite a bit of action and the human acting as the hero. I like how at the moment at least it's all calm and there's no battles.:pinkiehappy: Just one thing, I thought it was a bit... insensitive that Applejack just said "And then she died." I know I sure wouldn't say that.:rainbowlaugh:

I know a lot about etymology, but don't know how to spell it! (said in a sing song Pinkie Pie voice).

Also, yeah, what I meant to be Applejack trying to say the right thing at the right time, came out a lot colder than I heard in my head... ah well.

Nice job. I'll track this.

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