• Member Since 25th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 38 minutes ago


Just your average, useless person who thinks that this whole 'life' thing is overrated.


First impressions are important. A bad one can ruin one's credibility for a long time. John Wildman - the second human to ever arrive in Equestria - is learning that the hard way.

After almost hunting down Applejack, he is trying to adjust to his new home - struggling not only against his own demons and doubts but also against prejudice and hatred.

Ashamed by the bigotry she is witnessing, Celestia is starting to wonder if her subjects are really as forgiving and kind, as she thought. Together with the help of edgy human super-soldier James "Bastard Man" Gastovski and Twilight, she is determined to figure this out and help John before it's too late.

Meanwhile, CMCs and Cheerilee are trying to figure out, why Scootaloo became reckless and vile all of a sudden - forcing new human, to be a participant of their investigation - whether he likes it, or not.

Can an outcast like John make some friends and maybe... save someone in the process?

This story can be considered somewhat of a sequel to both:


with James, as a recurring character, alongside the new guy. However, reading the above stories is NOT necessary.

Silhouette vector from:

Planned story length:
90-120 K words


- Removed 'Comedy' tag - it was suggested by a lot of people that this story has become too dark, and tag should be removed. Sadly, I had to agree.

Chapters (24)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 655 )


Is that a ‘oh god, this is good’/’oh god, this is bad’/’oh god, what happened to AJ’ or ‘oh god, I think my house is on fire!’ :trollestia: ?



Ah, I see... Well, she was in the bad place at the bad time, but there is a 'almost' in the description so... Worry not, she will be fine.

It looks interesting, let's see how the thing goes:trixieshiftright:

Oh yes, let the train of ridden continue

I'm enjoying it so far. Looking forward to more.


My, my... I see the story 'bombed-up' pretty nicely :rainbowlaugh: And of course, not a single fuck explanation was given by any of downvoters, that's so... 'uncouth' :duck:

Anyway, for those of you who stuck around...


Next chapter should be uploaded somewhere within a week, stay tuned :raritywink:

Well, you know what they say when a horse is given, you can not see the helmet...
Or so I think.:rainbowhuh:



I... I'm affraid I didn't get the reference - care to elaborate :unsuresweetie:?

Mongols bruh!


I really don't see why people downvoted this one initially, seems fine to me. Also, I'd initially enjoyed the manic humor of James in your other work, and I'm looking forward to seeing some more of the characters in this universe.



Well, if you are interested in some more silly humor with James, then you can check this out:

TDashing to Dirty Conclusions
Rainbow Dash is fast in everything - including jumping to conclusions and gossiping. One day, she eavesdrops on a rather lewd conversation between Rarity and local human and it goes downhill from there. Then Celestia gets involved...
Huk · 8.5k words  ·  391  39 · 6.1k views

There is, of course, the initial story - Lonely Among Us - but... While he retains some of his cheesy personality, that thing is rather 'dark and edgy' (first story I have ever written... Go figure :unsuresweetie:)

As for downvotes... I don't know either, because no one gave any feedback, but... I can say that at least 2-3 of them 'magically' appeared on ALL my stories, only minutes after I added the story to some groups... Some people are just trolls, I guess :trollestia:

I'd actually been rereading that one just a few minutes ago before I saw your reply :rainbowlaugh:

Let's just say, it reenforced my desire to see more of James and the humor of this universe, and I favorited it instantly after finishing. Cheers :yay:


If anyone is wondering about how the t-shirt that got James in jail looked, it was something like this:


Celestia really doesn't know how to take a joke, huh :duck:?

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?


I want to know that too, I can think of a few but...



Well, with James it is easy, he sounds like Rex "Power" Colt (Michael Biehn) from the Blood Dragon:

With John... It's a bit harder. I imagined him as a more ordinary guy - sort of a voice of wisdom in the crowd. All I can say is that in my head, he has a deep sounding voice, but it's not based on any particular character.


If i had to put a Voice to John? It would be Morgan Freeman. Wise and deep.



Honestly, It's hard for me to point to an exact example - I know how I want the guy to sound, but I can't seem to find an exact match...

You can use whatever works for ya :twilightsmile:


Nergal: "Shut the fuck up you steroid taking piece of shit."

I would say James has done a wonderful job ass-imilating...I'm not sorry



He was ass-essing the situation :trollestia:

That pun was terrible and you should feel good for making it.... Wait What? :trollestia:



Hey, I love cheesy puns - why do you think James uses them all the time :pinkiecrazy:?

Related video:


I love your take on the princesses personalities :trollestia:



Glad to hear someone likes it :rainbowwild:

My goal here - especially with Celestia - is to keep her in character, but at the same time show that underneath all that benevolent, godlike, regal ruler - there still exists an ordinary person, with a unique personality, desires and even... fetishes :trollestia: Since she has to be an example to her subjects, she can rarely reveal her true character to them, but with humans, it's a different story.

There will be a lot of scenes with Celestia in this one - some will be funny, others will be serious - she is one of the most important characters in the story :unsuresweetie:

Is Luna showing up at all? She was great in DtDC as well.



Nope, sorry - no Luna in this one (she will be mentioned and used as a plot device at one point, but that's about it).

This thing concentrates on Celestia :unsuresweetie:

.....Damn it Applejack, you just turned the whole damn town against a being who tried to HELP your SISTER all due to what amounts as a Misunderstanding due to the lack of proper Communication ability! What now? what happens when the rest of those Speciest Red-neck Hillbillies get up the balls to try and CHASE all three Humans out of town? That would be a one sided BLOOD BATH and it would be all on YOUR Hoofs! Worse yet, John, James and the other dude would be well within their RIGHTS to Defend themselves in the Face of Lethal attack!

Claps slowly and Sarcastically Way to go Applebitch, way to go...



In her defense, he almost had her for lunch a few hours earlier, and seeing him interact with injured Apple Bloom didn't really helped matters... :unsuresweetie:


True, but like I said it was a Misunderstanding due to a Lack of ability to Communicate. She refuses to Listen and even worse she said what she did in PUBLIC and had Cheerilee not been there......Then well he would either be on the ground beaten to death due to numbers or (and the more likely option) there would be injured or dead Ponies in numbers.

She isn't giving him a chance and is NOT being Honest about the reasons behind it either which is bad considering who she is.



Again, in her defense, James asked her not to tell (not that it stopped her from yelling 'monster' though... :applejackunsure:), but you're right this all started with an unnecessary misunderstanding (like it often does in real life).

That said, there will be some related twists later on - that's all I will say :scootangel:


Any way you can work in her getting Bitch Slapped for that Public Stupidity stunt? it only seems right that she should AT LEAST be slapped for nearly Causing a Riot much less the cracked if not Broken Rib(s) he now has if the Blood coming out of his mouth was any indication :flutterrage:



Oh, believe me, a lot of ponies will learn their lessons in this one. What I have planned for AJ will hit her very, very hard.

But other things will happen before that, and something tells me you will want another pony to be 'bitch slapped' pretty soon :pinkiecrazy:


......Rainbow Crash? It's the only other Hothead that I can think of that needs a Good slap, Period.

I hope she get's hit with something as Hard as an Adamantium Bat, it's the only thing I can think of that will get though her Thick Hillbilly Skull :facehoof:

... Wait, what? I admit to skipping around, but what the hay are 3 humans supposed to a whole town of Ponies (who canonically preform feats of strength far beyond humans, forgetting the difference in numbers) out for their blood?

Are humans vastly more powerful in this verse?

Edit: Yeah, did a bit more reading, didn't know they were Super Soldiers.



Damn man! It will be interesting to get your feedback when stuff starts happening :unsuresweetie:


The only super soldier is James, his body has been heavily upgraded and integrated with high-tech armor. He has some interesting abilities coming from the technology - even more since he arrived in Equestria as magic supercharges his nano-tech.

The rest are ordinary humans. They just wear powered armor because they were teleported during the mission, and that was a standard outfit at the time.

As for this:

'who canonically perform feats of strength far beyond humans'

In my universe ponies are more balanced, meaning that an average pony is pretty much on par with an average human in terms of strength, durability, and stamina - winning in some areas, and loosing in others. So, cartoon logic like this:


Will get ignored, and that's deliberate :moustache:

To be fair, I also want to eat Applejack. Just not in the same way.


*shows bits* This is your God.


Some times the only way to get rid of Stupidity, is to hit it with something Really, REALLY hard and hope it doesn't kill the person you hit :ajsmug:

I also will try not to Disappoint you with my Reaction :pinkiecrazy:



You want to test if she taste more like an apple or pear, huh :rainbowwild:?

I'm thinking Apple Cobbler or Apple Pie. :ajbemused:



Obligatory response:


“Are you listening to me?!” Applejack attempted to get his attention, but without the universal translator nearby it was pointless.

Does this mean that John is hearing Applejack make neigh sounds?



I would imagine ponies in Equestria making sounds somewhat similar to our horses, but more complex.

So, yeah. John probably heard a mixture of snorts, grunts, squeals and some neigh sounds :unsuresweetie:

Celestia, Princess of Murder.

Scootaloo to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the distorted truth!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!