An aspiring rationalist gets punted into Equestria - and instead of being turned into a cool griffon, or powerful dragon, or even a standard pony... discovers he is now a milk-cow, part of the herd.

Part of the Chess Game of the Gods crossover.

Chapters (115)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 1454 )

...I love this idea, just one thing though: he seems to taking the fact that he is now a she pretty well.

hmmm, okay just making sure here, considering he is now a milk cow and "he" is refereed to as "Miss cow" his species wasn't the only change to his form correct?

Don't worry; the first chapter was supposed to be a bunch of rapid-fire, impressionistic flash-bulb scenelets - the second chapter is much more introspective, including dealing with that issue.

Quite correct.

You forgot to close your italics.

Thanks for the heads-up - should be fixed now.

This... This is brilliant! Folks, we nominally have our first non sue/stu character for the game.

A cow who was once a dude... I like the concept. :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

I, ahh... I'm intrigued.

We can get a whole barn full of once-humans :rainbowlaugh: But seriously, I'm curious as to where this is going.

Someone taking a philosophical route to their story rather than the violence the rest of us seem to employ. I approve.


Woo, you write real fast! HiE COWS WOO

You can get STDS as a male. Also, a pretty bad STD to get as a cow would be brucellosis, it causes cows to abort their calves. Strangely, it rarely does anything to elk or bison who get it. :pinkiesick:

Needs more. Concept is good...but chapters are a bit too short to really offer much feedback yet. You've set the stage, and it's an appealing layout. But we need the performance now.

784150 I'm pretty sure that was just him freaking out, same with the rape comment.

That is some pretty impressive thinking. Did you plan it out or are you making it up on the fly?

So, are we going to be seeing the Elements of Rationality here? :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

The general approach is well-thought-out; a set of quotes describing much of it can be read here. The specifics of how that approach are applied... are being chosen mainly on the fly. :)

'Elements of Rationality', maybe, maybe not; 'Methods of Rationality', definitely. :)

I like chocolate milk. Make the brown cows make chocolate milk. That'd be sweeeeeet!

Well, I've been thinking about unicorns with a few udder-related spells, but you are one of the core authours of the crossover, and it doesn't really conflict with anything I've got in mind right now - so sure, why not. :)

This...this is just brilliant. I think I've found my favourite Piece.

Please, do go on :twilightsmile:

I love me some Methods, but be careful not to turn it into MoR IN EQUESTRIA! or worse, straight plagiarism, this chapter is already a bit too far over that line.

One of the main points for this chapter was to explain what the main character's strength actually was - the reason (s)he was picked to be dropped in Equestria. I'm not planning on mirroring MoR quite so directly after this point, though I do intend for various Methods and items from the Sequences to be practiced.

I was listening to Mozart while reading this. It fit rather well.


Luna is such a bitch in this fic. SHE WANTED THE DAMN AWNSER

She said it was a riddle, not a question. She wasn't looking for an answer; it was a test.

I can't properly explain how much I'm enjoying your fic with just words.

So have some emoticons.

And that's the end of the introductory arc, getting our friendly neighbourhood bovine enmeshed into Equestria, tied into the local power structure, and with an excuse to go out and do interesting stuff and meeting interesting people of all sorts of species, without having caused any significant damage to the crossover timeline.

Have I mentioned how brilliant this story is? :pinkiesmile:

Alternate chapter title: "Be prepared".

I must say, your character is quite the schemer.

She's quite the interesting heroine, and I'm very curious to see how everything unravels itself.

I swear, if you don't make a 'There is no cow level' reference...

Then I will be slightly peeved.

But I will still love your story.

I hear a lot of people dislike using Zecora for her rhymes. You've used her, and made every line besides hers rhyme as well. That's impressive.
What's also impressive is you've managed to avoid the battles and 'loading...' jokes which have been used perhaps a bit excessively in the many stories in the series.

What can I say? Once I started going, I was just having too much fun to do it any other way. :derpytongue2:

796002 Excellent. Best way to write, probably.

Sadly, I must admit to having only skimmed the chapter once the rhyming began, It was just too irritating to read.

Okay, I've been thinking about this premise, and I realized that actually, this kind of rationality Missy's been using doesn't necessarily apply, because it can legitimately be said that there's an extra-natural force at work here influencing Equestria. Namely, you as the author. :derpyderp2: It's kind of a conundrum.

That's fair enough. I hope that you can at least manage getting the gist of the final paragraph before I post the next chapter, otherwise it'll be fairly confusing.

Actually, that very problem is fairly old hat for rationality, though it's usually described in somewhat different terms.

Yeah, that seems like a pretty bad idea.


Admittedly, I would miss TDot as well...:fluttercry:


Let me guess, the letter says there are other humans.

If you've read "Griffon the Griffon", then you should know exactly what the letter consists of. :twilightsmile:


802545 But... Aww I read that like a few months ago. Dang it... Well at any rate, since Missy is working under the assumption that she is the only human in Equestria such an insight as the letter would contain if it did say that Griffon was an alien or some other information would be nigh shattering to her logic foundation as she would have an entirely different set of variables to deal with.

One for instance may be that someone else may decide to expose the lands to something she wants to keep secret or indeed already has. Or at least, that may be what she might end up thinking.

Another thought might be to figure out just how many blasted humans are landing in Equestria.

Once again I find myself reading a fic staring a cow who is much smarter than I'll ever hope to be. And loving every second of it.


Cow magic seems like a waste of time. I mean, you are OOMing constantly unless you drain your intellect! And your intellect increases your mana! How would that work?

Uhhhhh...hell of a way to end a chapter.

That is a good question, isn't it? <whistles innocently> :scootangel:

They say you should always leave the audience wanting more... :trixieshiftright:

Ooooh, I love me some internal conflicts and introspection. :twilightsmile:

Now I'm anticipating some kind of twist, of course.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!