I found myself rather distracted by trying to think through the ramifications of my latest idea. Thus, when Firebough asked if he could bring along one guard to help him 'reach the top shelves', I punted, and told him I had no objection, but he'd have to get Captain Red's permission to keep him on the Mikoyan. When Firebough finally noticed that Berry Blast was a unicorn and started gibbering, I growled not to be such a ninny, that Berry was my unicorn and followed my rules, and wouldn't poison him unless he poisoned him first, and even then, would probably ask me to handle things. When we'd hauled all the papers we'd been able to find up to the airship, and were shuffling them around the big table on the bridge, looking for maps and pictures which we didn't need Firebough or his guard to read for us, I mostly let the conversation flow around me, and let Red take the lead of directing the efforts to figure out where to go next.
I don't say this to say what a deep thinker I was. I say this to point out both the limits of my own mind, such as having a hard time multi-tasking; and to point out that I still had a hard time prioritizing the everyday necessaries over abstract theorizing.
We did find a few maps - and in all of them, pretty much everywhere seemed like a better place to be than First Settlement. Bigger populations, more trading, cultural centers, hints of legendary events, could all be found just about anywhere but where we were. With a couple of translation notes from Firebough, we were able to figure out that the capital of the next country over had some sort of school, which seemed the sort of thing worth trying to plunder for relevant knowledge, and when Red asked about heading there, I smiled and nodded and agreed and left for my lab.
What I was spending my thinking time on, was trying to remember anything and everything I could about outcome pumps, and related ideas. Even among people interested in the odds and ends of physics, or fringe physics, or science fiction, they weren't a very commonly discussed idea; and it had been about a season since I'd had a chance to read up on anything on the internet, and I'd gone through all sorts of interesting and distracting events since then. I was trying to call upon every possible related thought, to trigger any and every possible associational memory, to get myself to recall every detail I'd ever come across about them.
It wasn't all that much, but at least some of my thinking on related matters seemed to have some potential in itself. For example, if 'magic' really was simply an application of a particular aspect of quantum mechanics - then I could take all my previous notions of 'magic' as being a separate field, following separate rules, and chuck them in a trash bin. Treating magic not just as a mysterious black box to poke and prod to see what happened, but as a mere part of nature... was something I probably should have been doing more of all along. It also had certain consequences that might be worth following up on. For example, unicorns were natural spellcasters - but the fact that they could do that, while pegasi couldn't, would thus be 'merely' a consequence of the physical differences between them. The relevant differences might be large or small, on the scale of gross anatomy or of biochemical machinery or something in between or some combination - but would be discoverable somewhere in the field of biology, and using the tools of biology, could be investigated.
For example, because of the way evolution builds on what already exists, a new variation which depends on a complicated piece of biological machinery is near-certainly not going to spread throughout the population unless that whole set of complicated machinery is already part of the species-wide toolkit. Which suggested that the various branches of the family of the Children of the Alicorn might have more biological machinery in common than was generally supposed. Both pegasi and unicorns could already collect the ambient magic to use in their different ways; maybe the differences between what they could do with that magic weren't quite as great as was generally believed. And, while I was thinking about it, I was able to think of something which I knew unicorns could do - but, as far as I recalled, I hadn't even tried getting a pegasus or earth pony to do... and trying it could be a nice, quick test of this line of thinking.
I pulled open the speaking tube to the bridge. "I could use a non-unicorn for a half-hour experiment. Preferably someone already in on most secrets. Is Blanche available?"
As the engines started spinning up to take us back to the shore, and then along it, Blanche fluttered down the stairs from the bridge to join me. "What's up, boss?"
"I've had a thought - and I want you to try doing a certain something that seems impossible, even though you know it seems impossible." I rummaged around in the gem inventory, and found a green tourmaline, flashing from being filled with magic. I used it to power a few quick 'adherere' spells on some crates, until that inner light disappeared. "Right," I said, bringing it back to Blanche. "Right now, this gem is almost full of enough magic to glimmer from it - so it shouldn't take long for a unicorn to be able to charge it up to that point. What I'd like you to do - is pour magic into it, to get it to where we can all see the magic."
She gave me a raised eyebrow, as she took it in one hoof. "Is this some psychological test about trying hard?"
I gave her a grin. "Not at all. I think that it's possible you might actually be able to do this. In fact, you may have an edge up on some other ponies - when I ran you through the love-potion cure, I accidentally drained your body of all its magic, so unlike most pegasi, you just might have an idea of what the difference feels like. I'm going to try the same thing myself, in a minute - and try it without using my horns. And if either of us can - I think I'll see if Amethyst can, too."
"... I think I'll skip all the useless talk about insanity, and just go lie down over there and get this over with."
I grabbed a piece of Amethyst's namesake, and stretched out on my pallet. From what I'd learned, the whole point of cows in the Equestrian ecosystem was to move magic around - so if anypony other than a unicorn could do this, I probably could. I looked at the purple crystal in my hooves, concentrated on it, tried to recall how it had felt when magic had flowed in or out of my horns...
... and was rudely interrupted by Firebough, the bear warrioress he'd picked to accompany him, and Captain Red all tromping down into the lab with raised voices - the three of them heading straight for me. I sighed, put the gem down, and grabbed and invoked a handy translation wand. "One at a time, please, or I'll just wave a wand to glue all your mouths shut until I want you to talk." I was staring mostly at Firebough as I said that, though I also gave the brown-furred guard a brief look. Her muzzle and ears reminded me of a dog I'd once owned, though much wider and bulkier. Not that I was in any position to say anything bad about anyone's bulk; she looked to be around the same overall weight as me.
Firebough coughed once, and when we all looked at him, he said, 'She's the captain, right?'
"Riiiight," I slowly agreed.
'And you said that we're using this vessel as a 'diplomatic transport' for me, right?'
"Right," I agreed.
'So that means she has to do what I say, right?'
"Afraid not, kiddo. You're just a passenger. I'm still the owner. And if you ever want to go on the top deck and look at the flag at the top of the mainmast, you'll see the flag showing whose laws and edicts apply aboard. To put it simply - what the captain says, goes. Not even I can countermand her orders - if we ever disagree completely on something, the most I can do is remove her as captain and take the position myself. And since she's doing a better job than I could, I'd rather not do that if I can help it."
'But she said she'd throw me off the boat!'
"Then I hope you know how to swim. Okay - someone else's turn to talk. Have you got anything to add?" I asked the bear-lady.
'He's a brat of a Lord.'
'Hey!'
'But he's my brat of a Lord. I'm gonna hafta try to stop anyone who tries to throw him overboard, even if I know I can't win.'
"Fair enough. I hope it doesn't come to that - you have a nice pelt, and it would be a shame to mess it up. Captain Red?"
"I'm good. You've explained everything I need to have explained."
"That's nice. Before I let you toss him into the ocean, mind if I ask what triggered all of this?"
"Not much," Red said. "He just wanted the crew cabin all to himself, all the unicorns chained up, the pegasi and griffin to cool him with their wings and generally cater to his every whim, to set our course, and, oh yes, lest I forget, that we should turn the engines off because they make too much noise."
I tapped my chin with my hoof thoughtfully. "Okay - how about this. Firebough-"
'Lord Firebough.'
"Different situations call for different levels of formatlity. In your language, your name is 'Branbaugen', right?"
'Uh, right.'
"Then in an emergency, when split-seconds matter, and I need to get your attention - what if I chopped all the extra syllables, and called you 'Bran'? Or maybe 'Branny'? 'Branby'?"
"How about 'Brandy'?" Red piped in.
"I can live with that."
'... 'Firebough' will be sufficiently respectful.'
"So glad you agree. Oh, by the way, I don't believe I caught your name yet," I said to the bear.
'Ursula.'
"Pleased to meet you, Ursula; I'll try to remember that, though I am bad with names. Now then - Firebough, I think that I'd like to assign one of the people aboard to be your liason - to answer your questions, to keep an eye on you, deal with translation, and generally be the one you go to first with any issues, so that you don't have to interrupted the good Captain while she's busy captaining. And for that task, I'm thinking of assigning Amethyst, the diamond dog who gave birth to my adopted sons. With that set - is there anything else that I need to explain or decide on before I get back to my own work?"
Firebough and Red looked at each other, there were some slight shrugs exchanged, and in a few moments, I was once again alone in my lab - or close to it.
"Say, boss?" said Blanche. "I think you'll want to see this." She held out her hoof, in which was the green gem - the heart of which was shimmering and glittering with a full magical charge.
"Red alert! Dragon off the port bow! Owner to the bridge!"
I took three seconds to lock down the loose stuff in the lab before galloping to the stairs, and up them, to the bridge. I grabbed a pair of binoculars and aimed them in the direction Red was aiming hers.
"Big one," she commented.
"And heading right for us."
"Does it look happy to you?"
"I can't really tell."
"Moshed?" piped up a new voice.
This language trouble was getting annoying - I was really going to have to buckle down and dedicate some time to learning the local tongue. In the meantime, I pulled a wand from my belt, muttered "Interpretari", and said aloud, "Dragon flying at us. Anyone you know?"
'Oh, that'll just be Big Red.' (Or, going by the sounds, 'Stortrut'.) 'She was Uncle's third half-step cousin, twice removed, I think.'
"So you know her?"
'Not really. She tries to kill any dragon who comes into her territory. I dunno how she does it, but she always seems to know, at least according to the reports that've come in from you mammals.'
"... And you didn't think that was an important detail to mention before?"
'What? You said we're a diplomatic vessel, now.'
"..."
'Besides, even if she does attack us, you've got powerful weapons and magic to take care of her, so what's the problem?'
I looked at Red. Red looked at me. We took the luxury of taking a full second to sigh in unison. Then she started bellowing orders about bracing for full climb, changing course, ballista this and cannons that... while I made my way to the back of the bridge, and the doors leading to the rear balcony, where I'd likely have the best view of Stortrut. I did have enough time to think that having a homicidal dragon for a neighbor might explain why no other dragons had come to take First Settlement away from Firebough. Then I concentrated on trying to figure out how I could maximize our odds of survival. I grabbed the megaphone and tried shouting at the dragon - she just kept flapping her wings and heading straight for us. I tried a few makeshift pseudo-Latin words to create an impromptu communication spell, but none of them seemed to have any effect, and Stortrut just kept coming closer, and closer... I decided that with a reputation like that, she was posing enough of a threat to start trying to head that threat off directly.
I picked the spell I'd used on Firebough's griffin guards, aimed the relevant wand at her, and announced, "Vomitere."
She belched a small fireball in our general direction.
I tried a different approach, and tried using "Adherere" to glue her mouth shut.
She belched a small fireball in our general direction.
I eventually ran through my whole list of spells - and not a single one seemed to affect her in any way. I considered the Warden whistle - and even if they could be summoned on an airship above a shoreline, I still had the rest of the crew's survival to think about. I considered Chekov or my pepper spray - and, looking at Stortrut, estimated that I could stretch out in her jaw and use her tongue as a mattress, so decided that neither was likely to be of much use.
My consideration of options was cut short as she opened her jaws again - and this time a wide sheet of fire erupted. I hurried back inside the bridge, and slammed the doors closed just in time to keep us all from immediately roasting in dragonflame... though that still might happen soon enough, as it appeared the balcony was now on fire, as were the rear sails.
"Red," I called out, "I think it's time for Plan Charlie!"
'Hunh?' Firebough hunhed, sticking a clawtip into his ear and wiggling it. 'That didn't make any sense. What's it mean?'
"To quote a famous bunch of knights you've never heard of: Run Away!"