//------------------------------// // Riders on the Storm // Story: Myou've Gotta be Kidding Me // by DataPacRat //------------------------------// "Welp... there it is." "Mmyep." "Big, ain't it?" "Mmyep." "Think we'll survive?" "Mmnope." I cleared my throat, interrupting the two stallions. They just glanced at me, then turned back to look at the storm clouds covering half the horizon. "Might as well enjoy the flowers while we can." "Mmyep." "Whole lot of 'em, now." "Mmyep." "Don't think I've seen an actual plank of wood in days." "Mmnope." "Pretty sure that cow's at least half-earth-pony, bringing up a crop like this." "Mm." "Does do good work, at whatever she puts her hoof to." "Mmyep." "Not quite sure she understands what it's like, us three stallions with five mares, a lady bear, a lady griffoness, and a lady diamond dog." "Not sure the diamond dog counts. She's got three males of her own." "I suppose not. Still - that's three of us to seven of them." "At least she's kept from adding to our workload." "Those daily baths she takes must be ice-cold." I grumbled, "Don't either of you have actual work to do?" Berry turned back to me with a raised eyebrow. "No, ma'am. Micro's put us on medical leave for a couple of hours, until the magic healing has a chance to set in fully." Stoke nodded agreeably. "Then it's back to the same old grind." "Day in, day out." "Work work work - that's all we do." "At least we can let the ladies in charge make all the decisions for us." "If we tried making up our own minds, they'd probably keelhaul us." "Or worse." "Mmyep." I rubbed my eyes with a hoof, not sure whether to groan, giggle, or tear my hear out, and finally just picked the better part of valor. "So," I said, as I joined the round-table discussion at the bridge's big round table, "Any new brainstorms?" Red shook her head. "We've tried putting together a list of every trick, piece of gear, magic spell, and new bit of physics any of us know that any of us know - and haven't come up with any way to use any of 'em, outside of the ideas we'd already had." Micro ponykinesised a sheet of paper into the air. "Which leaves this as every method we could think of for getting through a permanent giant storm. Got any thoughts about which one we should try?" I ran my eyes up and down the items... and smiled sweetly at her. "I do," I said. "Yes?" "Spaghetti." "Er - that's not on the list, is it?" In the middle of the cargo bay, Blanche carefully trimmed back the growth. She checked her notes frequently, as she painted a careful circle of what she hoped would direct some ley lines in just the right ways... Micro checked her own notes, listing the words she was going to start reciting soon, as she, Tranquil, and Berry continued pumping the ship's stores of gems full of magical potential... Most of the crew were busy doing actual crew-type things, double-checking pipes and rigging and safety ropes and wet-weather gear and signaling methods for when the rain and thunder blotted everything out, and thinking hard about how we meant the locals only good and no harm... I was alone, and muttering, but not to myself. I wasn't sure how much actual awareness the Lady's Cloak had, but the floral state of the Mikoyan was proof of its sheer power, and its response to the regent's do-or-die commands gave some inkling of its range. So I was telling it how we needed to pass through the storm alive, and the negative consequences - to myself, to everyone else aboard, and to the cloak itself - if we sank to the bottom of the ocean... The young dragon Firebough had picked up quite a lot of Equestrian in the past few weeks, though he was still far from fluent, and had a heavy accent. He'd wanted to know whether there was anything he could do to improve our chances. As it happened, we were in the middle of preparing a plan which he could contribute to - and once he'd gotten over his disbelief that, yes, we were actually serious about it, he took to it like a dragon to lava. Stoke, as our resident carpenter, put together most of the equipment, and I broke open one of the CAT'S WHISKER radios for some of the more delicate parts needed. I had to draw on some of the more obscure corners of my random knowledge to put together the details of what we'd need... We hadn't been able to find out what trick Dirk had planned to get his fleet through the storm. (For all we knew, he was just sending them all in, and hoping at least one ship made it through.) So, basically, we were using every idea we had. Sheer piloting ability, narrative causality, magic of various sorts large and small - hoping at least one did the trick. We weren't holding back any of our resources, except maybe the Ursa bones, and that was because their magic was at least as wild and uncontainable as a storm themself. The most visible of our ideas was being set up (well, tied into place, really) on our main deck, near the front, where they'd have the best view possible of the storm... and it would have the best view possible of them. With Lord Firebough in the lead, those of us who were a part of that plan... would be singing to the storm. Or, to be more specific: playing a rock concert for it. With Amethyst on drums, Armina on lead guitar, and Ursula on bass. There's a Storm Front coming White water running and the pressure is low Storm front coming Small craft warning on the radio We've got a low pressure system and a northeast breeze We've got a falling barometer and rising seas We've got the cumulonimbus and a possible gale We've got a force nine blowing on the Beaufort scale I'm still restless for the open water Though she gives me everything I need She asked me to stay, but I'd done my navigation I drove her away, but I should have known To stay tied up at home -- I hear hurricanes a-blowing. I know the end is coming soon. I fear rivers over flowing. I hear the voice of rage and ruin. Don't go around tonight, Well, it's bound to take your life, There's a Bad Moon On The Rise. All right! Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we're in for nasty weather. One eye is taken for an eye. -- Someone told me long ago There's a calm before the storm, I know It's been comin for some time. When it's over, so they say, It'll rain a sunny day, I know Shinin down like water. I want to know, have you ever seen the rain I want to know, have you ever seen the rain Comin down on a sunny day -- Look Out, Cleveland, the storm is comin' through, And it's runnin' right up on you. Look out, Houston, There'll be thunder on the hill; Bye-bye, baby, don't cha lie so still. -- And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall. -- Oh, a storm is threat'ning My very life today If I don't get some shelter Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away -- We can circle around like hurricanes Dance and dream like lovers Attack the day like birds of prey Or scavengers under cover Look in...to the eye of the storm Look out...for the force without form Look around...at the sight and the sound Look in look out look around... -- Long as I remember the rain been comin' down Clouds of mystery pourin' confusion on the ground. Good men through the ages tryin' to find the sun. And I wonder still I wonder who'll stop the rain. I went down Virginia seekin' shelter from the storm Caught up in the fable I watched the tower grow Five year plans and new deals wrapped in golden chains. And I wonder still I wonder who'll stop the rain. Heard the singers playin', how we cheered for more. The crowd had rushed together tryin' to keep warm. Still the rain kept pourin', fallin' on my ears And I wonder, still I wonder who'll stop the rain. Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was the magic spells. Maybe it was Red's piloting. Maybe our nice thoughts got us through a magic barrier. Maybe it was my nursing the pups and playing with them, and the Lady's Cloak not letting anything happen to them. But our engines didn't fail us; the rain didn't swamp us; the wind didn't blow us out of the sky; the thunder and lightning shook us, but never destroyed us. We passed to the inside of the storm - and with the sun getting low behind us, and still some intermittent rain before us, we all huddled together in the bridge with towels and hot drinks, and watched the rainbow forming before us... curving over the land-mass of the island we'd been aiming for all this time - the mountains and forests, fields and glaciers, volcanoes and villages of the mysterious Thule. John stuck one of his chubby little paws into the air, as if he were grasping for the pretty colours... and said his first word: "Coooool."