"Okay, Brick - I've got something I want you to try."
"Another riddle?"
"If so, not of the usual sort." I reached into my pannier, and pulled out what was, for all intents and purposes, a magic wand. It was actually just a magically-charged, cubical black gem, stuck onto the end of a white-painted stick, but I wasn't going to tell Brick that. Well, not yet, anyway.
"It's around time I started trying to turn my researches into actual applications. If my theory is right - then with this, you should be able to cast a magic spell you never actually learned. You should be able to recharge it, sort of like a light-gem-torch. If I made it right, then to get it to work, you point it at your target, think very hard about them not being able to lie and having to tell the truth, and say the word..." I set the wand on the deck and took a step back from it, before saying, "'Veritas'." That was the Latin word for 'truth', which I'd remembered from the saying 'In Vino Veritas', which meant, roughly, 'drunks don't lie'.
Brick carefully picked it up, and examined it. "Have you tried it, yet?"
I shook my head. "Blanche's back is the last time I'm going to take advantage of somepony's limited free will, if I can possibly help it. So I want you to try zapping me with it. If I can find a way around it - then we'll know what sort of limits the magic actually has, and how to be careful with it. If I can't - then we know to be very careful with it. And we can try getting a rough idea of how long the effect lasts, and so on and so forth."
She nodded. "When do you want to test it?"
"Well - Star's scanning the ship magically, Marble's checking underwater, and everypony else is searching for any dirty tricks - so how about now?"
"Are you sure?"
"Of course not - but I don't think I'm ever going to be any surer."
"Alright." She aimed the wand at me, held it there for a few seconds - presumably visualizing - and finally declared, "Veritas."
There wasn't any particular sign that anything happened. No flashes of light or sound effects; and I didn't feel any different. "Why don't you try finding out what else is in my bag?"
"What's in your bag?"
"Lunch. Whoah - that just came right out. I didn't even have a chance to try thinking up a lie. I've just thought of a number - I'll try to keep it a secret from you."
"What number did you just think of?"
"Seven - but I thought of that number after I thought of the number I want to try to keep secret from you, which is six. ... Okay, that's downright freaky. I couldn't help answering not only what you asked - but what I thought you wanted to know. Um - okay, a new number. I'll just try not saying anything."
"What number was it?"
"Sixteen. Hunh. Maybe I can at least try being vague? Okay, got a number."
"Which number this time?"
"It's under ten. It's actually under zero - it's minus two. Hm... well, I was able to delay giving a full answer, at least a bit. But I couldn't just stop without getting to the answer. Okay, again."
"Which number?"
"It's an odd number - it's a prime number. It's the sum of two squares - and it's also the sum of three primes. All of which should be enough to tell you what it is, especially since I wasn't thinking of a particularly large number. It's definitely a number I'm trying not to tell you by babbling on about semi-related pieces of information, and I'm not sure how many more such things I can come up with to delay the big reveal, which is that it is none other than, that's right, forty-one. Well, so much for babbling. Hm... how about other languages? Go ahead."
"Which number?"
"javmaH Hut. ... which is a language you've almost certainly never heard before for the number sixty-nine. Hm... I was able to hold off on that last bit for, what was it, a second? Maybe we're onto something. Let's try... stomping. One stomp for yes, two for no - and to simplify the answers to that, I'll think of a whole number between one and two. Go."
"Was the number you thought of 'one'?"
I stomped my hoof on the deck once. After a few seconds, I hadn't blurted anything out, so I nodded. "Okay - so I don't have to actually talk, as long as I answer you. Can I just switch encoding schemes? Now it's two stomps for yes, and one for no. Ask me the same thing again."
"Was the number you thought of 'one'?"
My hoof stomped twice. "Good," I nodded. "I think. I still had to give you an answer - but I used the opposite physical motions. So here's a fun thought. I'm sure you've heard of 'pig latin', a way to encode speech by shuffling the syllables around. Well, I now define 'rat latin' as a similar word-game, a way to communicate non-obviously using certain rules - and these rules are that in rat-latin, the truth-values of all statements are reversed from normal. Let's see if a truth-enforcing spell can make sense of that. I plan on speaking rat latin from when I command you to ask me something until the next time I stomp my hoof. Now - ask me something."
"Do you really think this is worth all this trouble?"
"'No.' Nng." I had to explain what I meant better than that - but to do that I had to go back to speaking proper English again instead of this 'rat latin' I'd just invented, but I couldn't do that until I stomped my hoof again - but I was, for once, able to hold back the urge to do that. I guessed it was because stomping my hoof wasn't actually communicating a truth... but I still felt the need to say more, to say that I really meant 'Yes', until finally my leg jerked and banged on the deck. "By-which-I-meant-'yes'," I blurted out. "Hunh. I'm not really sure how to interpret that one - other than that it seems to imply the spell does have some limits, even if we've only brushed against them. Hm... maybe we can find them by working more on the question side. What happens if you ask me something I don't know?"
"Okay - what's the eleventh digit of pi?"
"Um... five. I actually remembered that? I did have to think hard to remember - and I tried to think, even though I was trying not to try. Maybe try something harder - maybe something more immediate. How about holding your hooves behind your back, and holding the wand in one of them?"
Brick played along, sticking her hooves behind her. "Which hoof am I holding the wand in?"
"Most likely the one you feel its weight in. ... A little vague, but still true."
"Which room is Amethyst in right now?"
I blinked, and looked at the deck, underneath which, somewhere, our resident Diamond Dog was doing her job. "I don't know," I found myself saying, "and your speculation is most likely as good as mine. I can go find out... I feel kind of like doing so, but it's not like the do-it-without-thinking pushes I've been going through so far. Interesting - so if I don't actually know something, I've got a small urge to find the answer and give it. So much for me being an oracle - might have been handy if we had a spell in which I gave answers for things we didn't know. How about a question containing false assumptions?"
"Have you stopped beating your marefriend yet?"
"Mu."
"... Did you just moo at me?"
"No - I answered your question. Haven't I taught you that word yet?"
"You have not."
"Ah - a regrettable failure on my part. It's quite handy for questions asked in a yes-or-no format, for which neither 'yes' nor 'no' are good answers. I believe the full definition of 'mu' is something along the lines of 'your question cannot be answered because it depends on incorrect assumptions'. I wonder how someone who'd never heard of 'mu' would try to answer such a question, while under the effect of this spell?"
"What do you think would happen?"
"Given the push to explain the truth I felt earlier - they'd probably find some way to get around not being able to use 'yes' or 'no', even if they had to spend a few minutes. Hm... the last thing I was able to think of is if I was asked about a paradox. I'm pretty sure I can guess what'll happen, so go ahead and try one - the liar paradox seems appropriate."
"If Eponydes the pegasus said 'All pegasi always lie', was she telling the truth or lying?"
"Neither," spilled out of my mouth. "In that version of the paradox, the statement cannot be classified as either true or false. ... Yep, pretty much what I expected. I suppose the main thing left to figure out is how long it lasts."
We hadn't been keeping track - but after just a couple of minutes more, I was able to start giving different answers to Brick's repeated asking of "What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?". I pulled out a pocket watch, Brick zapped me again - and at least within a couple of seconds, I was under the spell's effects for five minutes.
"Well," I mused, "that seems to cover all the basics. And it gives us two tools. One - the truth-wand's effects itself might be very handy. It seems to be a different sort of truth-magic than the Princesses use - and could have all sorts of use... if we ever come across someone whose free will I'm willing to take away for such questioning. The other is that I was able to predict that the wand was possible to create, and to create it... and it worked reasonably close to what I predicted it would do. That's... potentially even bigger than the truth-wand itself."
The whole gang of us were gathered in the sterncastle, where controls for all the engines were gathered - and, with all the windows, still a decent view. "As the new owner-aboard and captain of the Mikoyan," I said, "I now give the order: Liftoff!"
Red heaved on one ship's-wheel contraption, which rotated the two smaller side engine pods to vertical; and Amethyst pushed on another, which started them rotating. Faster and faster, the hum turning to a thrum, the deck vibrating beneath us. The water she was floating in sucked at her, holding her back, as the powerful force lifted us up an inch, a foot - and, suddenly, we were rising without hindrance.
"Brick, you have the course?"
"Aye, ma'am. Straight to Fillydelphia until Stalliongrad is out of sight - then turn north and west to the Everfree."
How could I possibly resist my next line? "Engage."
More wheels were pushed - and the really big engine pods, to either side of the stern, started spinning up. As we started moving forward, and the air skimmed along our hull, the side-engines were rotated to face forward, as they were no longer needed for lift; and the top engines, attached to the mainmast, were spun up, to keep us balanced and on an even keel.
None of us really knew what we were doing - but, fortunately, the ship's papers included several versions of flight manuals, including a 'for dummies' one, whose instructions we were following. We wouldn't be able to pull off anything like an actual maneuver, but we could go up and down, accelerate and slow down, and while we were hovering, rotate to a new course. If we were lucky, that would be all we'd need, until we'd had a chance to figure out how to do anything fancier.
In front of the side engines, were two holes in the sides of the ship, with a tunnel going straight through and skylights overhead. It was a combination observation deck, loading dock, and weapons platform. The two cannons, and two of the ship's nominal four ballistas, were tucked away here behind some large doors. (A third was positioned behind the bridge, and the fourth was currently in pieces in the cargo bay.) I was fiddling around with them, looking from the 'one step up from dummies' instructions to the actual mechanics and back, trying to get a feel for how to actually use the things to defend ourselves if we had do.
Amethyst padded down from the main deck, carrying Marble. The seapony's wheelchair wasn't the best suited for this ship - the only ways to get from one deck to another were stairs or ladders - so she'd started hitching rides with any of us who happened to be going our way. "Thank you, dear, you can put me down right here," she said. Amethyst didn't answer, as usual, and just set her on the top step heading further down, as she went down to the bilge.
"Brick tells me we have a new item in our arsenal," she commented brightly.
"Brick," I said, rolling the door to the cannons' nook shut, "still needs to learn a bit about confidentiality." I glanced at her - and paused. She had the wand in her tailtip, turning it back and forth in front of her to look at it from all directions.
"I have to admit, it certainly doesn't look impressive. And you were able to whip it together quite quickly. It hardly seems like it could do anything at all."
"Marble," I started saying.
She continued as if I hadn't tried to interrupt her at all. "And all you have to do is point it at someone, think about having to tell the truth, and say 'Veritas'?" As she spoke the last word, she'd aimed the thing straight at me. As before, there was no flashy effects, and I couldn't tell that the spell had gone off at all."
"You're standing right on a very narrow metaphorical line," I said. "I strongly recommend that you simply shut up, and wait for the spell to expire.
"Now what would be the use in that? Don't you have at least one embarrassing secret you don't want me to know?"
"Yes," my mouth said without my conscious intervention. "And if you keep this up, then as captain of a ship in flight, I will have consider what should be done with you - and I am quite sure you will not find it pleasant."
"Then perhaps, since I have already 'crossed the line', as you put it, I should just go straight to asking something more serious, like-"
I jammed my hooves over my ears, and started belting out the tune, "I am slowly going crazy, one two three four five six switch. Crazy going slowly am I, six five four three two one switch." I couldn't hear a word she said - looked like there was a way to beat the spell I hadn't thought of, when there wasn't something important on the line.
Marble wiggled her fins in annoyance, and started tapping the tip of the wand against the deck. I thought it was just an impatient gesture - then I realized it was pulse code, and before I could look away, she'd already tapped out 'W H Y ?', and I found myself obliged to stop singing and answer. "Because if you learn certain things, I have a fairly high confidence that you will do something that leads to my death, which I believe would significantly increase the chances of all of Equestria being destroyed."
"You're joking, aren't you? This wand doesn't actually do anything at all!"
"I'm not joking," I sighed, as I took my hooves from my ears. "There's an easy way to prove it - just zap yourself, and try to lie."
"Er - perhaps not."
"Marble - I'm being dead serious. You know the stakes. You can end this right now - just don't say anything at all for a few minutes, and I can treat this as a relatively minor abuse of trust, with a relatively minor consequence, like having to scrub the decks and not being able to pay points to pass off the chore."
She tilted her head, obviously considering the offer.
She made her choice.
"What's something important, that you don't want me to know?", she asked.
"Hoo boy," I said, delaying for a half second as I rubbed my eyes. "I suppose one of the biggest is that I actually remember quite a bit of my life before I was found outside of Ponyville." I managed to cut myself off there - her question was answered, accurately, and didn't require any further explanation to be understood. "Say, why am I just waiting here? Amethyst? Are you in earshot?"
Marble quickly interrupted, "What's so important about your past?", and so before I could raise my voice, I had to respond to her inquiry.
As I started talking, I tried walking to the stairs up, to simply get away from Marble - but found that I couldn't, until I'd finished telling her what she'd asked of me.
"It's what makes me different enough from most ponies in Equestria that not only do I do things nopony else would even think of doing, but I've got a decent shot at those things being able to accomplish useful things." I tried clamming up there again - but some part of me seemed to feel that that was insufficient, and my mouth opened to continue explaining my answer.
"There's a word that I've heard a lot in recent years," I said, "'neurotypical'. I've never been that. For as far back as anyone has ever described me, I've had a combination of being extremely good at some things, like reading and math; and extremely bad at others, like understanding certain delicate social niceties. I was never formally diagnosed with autism, but I probably could have convinced a doctor to classify me as having an autism-spectrum disorder, if I'd tried. So as I grew up - I was able to excel at some of my classes, while being pretty much completely ignorant of the whole 'socialization' point of going to school. At least one teacher forbade me from spending recess time in the library - maybe more, it's been long enough that some of my memories blur together. Eventually... I gradually started dropping out. Skipping a required class on literature I didn't like, to go hide under the stairwell and read. Skipping whole days, to spend at a library. Eventually, I stopped going to school altogether. And kept reading on my own - anything I could, really. Science. History. Linguistics. 'How Things Work'. Before I got my doctorate, I was one language credit of getting a diploma from school - and I could have gotten that one with evening courses, if I'd tried. I didn't try. I did have to do a bit to support myself - so I found jobs which mostly involved me not having to interact with people. Night watchman. Overnight trash pickup. And - I read. And read and read. About, mm, half a dozen years ago, was a reasonably important turning point; I started reading things about skepticism, and more important, paying attention to them. Which led me to various philosophical ideas on not just how to tell what was true from what was false, but why that was so important. You probably have no idea what it's like to know a truth that nobody else in your community has the faintest idea about. Being a rebel like that isn't like being the cool kid dressed in black - it's like wearing a clown suit. But some of the truths I learned were not just important in themselves, they were also about why it was important to act on them... which led to me trying to find things to read on how to act in ways that actually accomplished something useful, instead of just making me feel like I was doing something useful. And, if I'm not mistaken, the spell should be wearing off right... about... now."
I clamped my mouth around the wand, and pulled; Marble struggled, but her thin, seahorse-like tail was quite weak compared to my jaw and neck. I yanked it from her grasp, tossed it onto the stair - and punched it with more forehoof. The dowel shattered. "There - now you can't use that spell anymore," I lied. "And I'll never make another," I lied again. "And you're going into the brig until further notice." That was an entirely uncoerced truth.
"Brick - change course for Canterlot."
"Aye, ma'am. Um - it'll take me a few minutes to work that out."
"That's fine. Bring us to a hover - I need to talk with you, anyway."
"What about?" She started shoving control wheels.
"I need to make some changes. Marble zapped me with the truth wand - and started asking questions she knew she shouldn't. I can't leave her running around the ship freely anymore. I also can't stick her in the brig forever. This isn't the sort of trouble I want to have a legal trial deal with. And it seems to be a bad idea to let her roam freely around Canterlot, too."
"That doesn't seem to leave much."
"No, it doesn't. I also need to... treat you and Blanche better. I've been using the excuse that I need your help to fend off an existential risk, to avoid getting you cured. But - I'm getting less and less comfortable with that reasoning, the more I see of it... so I think it's time to bow to the way the winds of evidence are blowing... and admit that I made a mistake. Probably a big mistake. So - it's time to get Blanche cured. If I take her anywhere near either Princess, she's likely to hurt herself escaping. So it's time to explore other options."
"It sounds like you have something in mind."
"I just might - and it depends on you. If I drop you off in Canterlot... then you could try talking to one of the Princesses, find out what sort of spell they use to counter love-potion, and send that information to the Mikoyan's next stop, and I can try getting that case on Blanche myself. And while you're in Canterlot - you could also keep an eye on Marble, and maybe even work on finding out who's been trying to kill and-or stop me. And even more important than potentially risking your life doing that - you could have a Princess cast the cure spell on you."
"I don't want to be 'cured'."
"I know. But I think you should be, even if you don't want to be. I don't know how to convince you that it's in your own best interests - however perfect you may think I am, I have to cover up my lack of good social instincts by thinking everything through analytically... and that's not going to be good enough for this. So - I'm here, to try and talk, and see if we can come up with some workable solution to all of... this," I waved a hand vaguely at the whole ship.
"Let me get us on the new course - and then let me take at least five minutes, by the clock, to try to think of something."
"That's my girl," I said proud that she'd taken those lessons of mine to heart.
(Author's Note: AppleTank has drawn a group shot of many of the Chess Game characters, which can be seen at http://apple-tank.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d5aio8r.)